Latest news with #consumerism
Telegraph
10 hours ago
- Business
- Telegraph
The high street's desperate plan to beat Vinted at its own game
Retailers have a major problem. It's an issue that's been rumbling around for more than a decade, and one that feels increasingly insurmountable. Shoppers don't feel good about shopping. In fact, many feel actively bad about buying something new. The consumerist days of the early Noughties, when marketeers could convince people that giddily 'treating' themselves to something frivolous that they really wanted but didn't really need, are gone. In 2025, anxiety about the climate crisis, the spiralling cost of living and concerns about the ethical effects of consumerism have reached a peak, as have the possibilities that come with new technology when it comes to sharing pre-owned items – Vinted being the big winner in this gargantuan shopping shift. The online market place for second-hand clothes now has 80 million users across 18 countries, 16 million of whom are in the UK. As of last month Vinted also became the biggest seller of clothing in France, ahead of Amazon in second place. Old is now firmly cool with vintage Topshop and Marks and Spencer's pre-Noughties brand St Michael's in hot demand and the world's most glamorous women championing pre-loved fashion – from pop-stars Olivia Rodrigo and Rihanna, to beauty mogul Kendall Jenner and the Princess of Wales. (A polka-dot Alessandra Rich number and Chanel tweed blazer, being among her most celebrated vintage looks.) It's not hyperbole to call it a revolution. No wonder that even big brands like Primark, Arket and Levi's are also offering everything from swaps and pre-loved sections to repair services. Primark, usually seen as fast fashion behemoth, launched its first ever 'swap shop' last September, whilst Arket launched a resale 'archive' in 2023 and has now teamed up with alterations start-up Sojo to offer garment repairs. When it comes to shopping, the retail landscape is shifting and not only in fashion – but on everything from cars and electronics to furniture and food. 'High-street retailers are concerned by the rise of Vinted and the like, and this marked change in shopping habits across all generations – but Gen Z in particular,' says Orsola de Castro, the author of Loved Clothes Last and co-founder of campaign group Fashion Revolution. 'Gen Z are very careful with their money and very aware of the value of things. The problem for the high street is that 20 years of fast fashion and cheap clothing has created a legacy whereby their pieces now have no meaning, no intrinsic value.' The sea-change is clear, says De Castro: 'The queues I used to see outside of H&M for their new collaborations in the 2010s, I now see outside of car boot sales in Peckham.' Stylist Bay Garnett was a trailblazer in using second-hand clothing in her photo shoots for Vogue, including the likes of Kate Moss in charity shop finds. 'When I started shooting for Vogue in 2003, using second-hand pieces was seen as 'quirky'. It was considered 'other' or 'niche' to shop in charity shops and second-hand stores, something a little bit 'eccentric',' she says. 'As a stylist, I like the stories around things, the originality and the sense of connection with things that have had a life before.' Conscious fashion is not only about recycling but extending the life of the garments we already own. Fashion brand Toast has been at the forefront of the repairing movement on the high street, first holding repair workshops in stores back in 2018. 'We focused on craft processes – visible darning, the functional embroidery technique sashiko – and teaching our clients how to use those techniques to give their garments new life,' Madeleine Michell, the brand's social conscience communication officer, says. Then, in 2019 they launched Toast Renewed, meaning that anything bought from Toast is able to be rejuvenated, for free, by professionals. It is wildly popular. By the start of March 2025, the brand had repaired 343 garments in 2025 alone, and 7,659 garments in total – moths being the most frequently quoted reason for a repair. Now, Michell says that 40 per cent of the brand's repairs are visible rather than invisible mends. 'I find the notion of adding to an item by repairing it really interesting; that damage can be something to celebrate and highlight rather than hide away and cover up.' Toast has also been operating clothes swaps for the past six years, both as evening in-store events and as pre-loved rails in certain stores. 'Swapping operates on a tier system, based on the estimated original retail value and condition. It feels good to swap things rather than always buying new and feeding the overproduction machine, to remember that something can still be new to you even if it's not newly produced,' she says, adding that while Toast doesn't collate information about whether its swaps affects sales of new clothing, they're a very popular feature on its loyal shoppers' calendars. That brand loyalty is priceless in an ever more competitive space. A February 2025 report from global environmental NGO Wrap shows the positive impacts in slowing the purchase of new clothes that six circular businesses are having – reselling marketplaces Depop, eBay and Vestiaire Collective and clothing repairers The Seam, Sojo and Finisterre (an adventure brand that also repairs and resells). Wrap's report found that for every five times people repair an item of clothing, four new items are 'displaced' by people no longer buying them. And for every five items bought second-hand online, an average three new items are subsequently not bought as a result. Respectively, the average displacement rate for repair is 82.2 per cent and 64.6 per cent for resale.… You can see why retailers are considering their futures. Harriet Lamb, the chief executive of Wrap, agrees. 'Our research shows that buying pre-loved both satisfies our desire for clothes, for something new-to-us, and means we don't buy so many brand-new items,' she says. 'What's more, we can now clearly and consistently measure the environmental case for a range of circular business models including repair.' The environmental concern is valid; fashion has a formidable footprint. Between 2000 and 2015, worldwide clothing production doubled. The UN Environment Programme estimates that clothing is the second-biggest consumer of water and produces around 10 per cent of global carbon emissions – more than all international flights and maritime shipping combined. Seventy per cent of the fashion industry's greenhouse gas emissions are linked to raw materials and the production of new clothing from growing cotton for example, to textile waste, pollution, water and land use. The pattern plays out in furniture too. Ikea has an extensive spare parts library to facilitate mending – these items are provided to customers in-store or online completely free. Greg Lucas is the company's sustainability manager for the UK and Ireland. 'We gave away 539,195 spare parts to customers online and in store between the start of September 2023 and September 2024,' Lucas explains. 'Our policy at Ikea is to prolong the life of the products we sell. In terms of pre-loved, we've seen an eight per cent rise in sales year-on-year.' Earlier this year, the Swedish giant also announced its intention to scale up its second-hand peer-to-peer marketplace to reach the whole of Europe after a successful pilot in Oslo and Madrid. It also has a small buy back and resell service for pre-loved items which sell in stores at an average discount of 30 per cent off retail price. Sandrine Zhang Ferron is the founder and chief executive of Vinterior, an online marketplace specialising in pre-owned vintage and antique furniture. In 2024, Ferron says, UK furniture retail sales fell 10 per cent compared to 2023, whilst Vinterior order volumes increased 13 per cent. Quoting the Office of National Statistics, she says the value of furniture sales in the UK fell too, by 10.9 per cent, whilst Vinterior's increased 16 per cent. 'This shows a clear trend towards pre-loved,' she says, adding that fashion has led the trend towards purchasing second-hand because 'the impacts of fast furniture has taken longer to permeate. Most people are still shocked to hear that 22 million pieces of furniture end up in British landfills each year, and given that the UK will run out of landfill space in six years, we need to change the way we buy.' Cars and electronics are increasingly being sourced second-hand too. Recent statistics released by the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SSMT) showed that sales of used cars were up 5.5 per cent in 2024, while demand continues to grow across many categories from phones, to gaming and tech. In an ever evolving digital landscape, electronic items are usually discarded before they wear out, and often have plenty of life left in them for a second owner. Long warranties on those pre-loved products also are helping to boost the sector. It's products that have shelf-life and have to adhere to hygiene standards that are the surprise additions to the pre-loved landscape – namely beauty and food. We may not quite be at the point of auctioning off half-used toothpaste, but according to Cosmopolitan magazine, beauty is on the cusp of a second-hand boom, with online 'rehoming' retailers forecast it to be the next big thing in the e-commerce space. While some e-tailers prohibit the selling of used cosmetics for hygiene reasons, other retailers including Mercari (a Japanese marketplace selling second-hand products) do allow the sale of used goods and, they say, beauty — in particular, fragrance — was in the top five fastest-growing resale categories of 2023, and projected to grow 126 per cent by 2031. Food is also something some may traditionally have baulked at getting from someone they didn't know, but sentiments are changing. Founded in 2015 in Copenhagen, the rise of anti-food waste app Too Good To Go is a case in point. The company partners with more than 175,000 food outlets to prevent food from going to waste by matching it with registered users nearby who collect it and pay a fraction of the price. So far, the company says their 100 million registered users have saved 400 million meals from landfill. But is it too early to declare a sea-change in shopper behaviour? Sarah Kent is chief sustainability correspondent at The Business of Fashion and believes so. 'Just because we have seen a rise in the popularity of repairs and second-hand, particularly amongst the younger generations who are also active on social media, that doesn't mean people in general are shopping less. Primary sales are still growing – less slowly than second-hand sales – but they are growing,' she says. 'Consumer culture is not a monolith, it's made up of sub-strata who consume in different ways, for different reasons.' 'What is driving this renewed interest in pre-loved is that people are feeling poorer, they're more aware of the environment and there's also a regulatory issue at play,' Kent adds. 'Big companies are under pressure from EU regulations to show they are doing something to combat waste. Offering repairs is part of that.' Indeed Kent says that for companies, facilitating repairs is something of an easy win. 'Some brands definitely see it as a way of signalling to consumers that they care about this. Others see it as a way to encourage loyalty – if consumers want to resell something through the brand, they get credit to return to store. Retail is a complicated business and even for companies such as outdoor brand Patagonia, who have been offering resale for many years, second-hand products still make up a very small fraction of their overall business.' Josephine Philips is the founder and chief executive of Sojo, an app-based company that is fast becoming a byword for clothing repairs and alterations, having partnered with brands such as Marks & Spencer, Ganni, Selfridges and most recently Arket. Philips – who was listed as one of Forbes ' 30 Under 30 in 2022 – says that while financial and sustainability reasons are helping repair become increasingly popular, brands adding the service to the post-purchase experience 'really drives awareness and engagement'. 'Repair has never had as much airtime as it's had over the last couple of years,' Philips continues. 'At Sojo we've done out-of-home campaigns, national TV adverts for our Marks & Spencer repair service, morning news segments, influencer partnerships and have been featured in so many mainstream publications. Most recently, our partnership with Arket brought incredibly large and bold repair advertising to the windows of their Regent Street store – bringing repair to the front and centre of London's retail district.' While she would like to see the scrapping of VAT on repair services 'to increase adoption', Philips credits technology for opening up the world of repair to a new generation. 'Many young people haven't been taught the art of repairing their clothes, but the rise of digital platforms built to make the whole process simple, convenient and seamless has tapped into a latent demand and opened the repair market up.' De Castro cautions against our addiction to 'buying cheap' and believes 'the legacy of 20 years of fast fashion and cheap clothing means that clothes have become devoid of their value'. 'The concept of repair is hundreds of thousands of years old, but fashion persuaded us that mending was a shameful activity which needed to be hidden… It was linked with poverty, with a lack of resources. But what was the poor cousin will become the rich uncle. The only antidote to a throwaway society is to keep, to start to create a culture of saving up to buy better and buy less. Actually keeping things and repairing them is reinvesting in ourselves.' Another way of attaining new clothes or accessories without buying them is, of course, rental, a model that appeals to both consumers and businesses alike. Hurr (dubbed the Airbnb of fashion) is a hybrid clothing and accessories rental service which combines 85,000 items through its peer-to-peer lending service whilst also powering rental for more than 130 exclusive brands and retailers such as Net-A-Porter, John Lewis and Selfridges. The service also recently teamed up with Deliveroo (more commonly known as a food delivery service) to enable users in central London to rent a dress to their door in under 25 minutes. 'When we first launched, rental fashion was niche. Now, it's mainstream,' says Victoria Prew, the founder of Hurr. 'Our customer base has also evolved: starting with millennial females but we have a booming Gen Z customer, with our community age ranging from 16 to 79.' Prew says brands and retailers now see rental as a must-have strategy rather than a trend, and a financially rewarding one too. 'Often, when renting a garment repeatedly, we can drive seven to 10 times the revenue from rental than selling a garment once,' she adds. 'My hope is also that fashion brands will design with rental longevity in mind, creating durable, high-quality pieces that can be worn across seasons and for years to come.' Fiona Harkin is the director of foresight at The Future Laboratory, a strategy company who work with brands eager to learn of future trends which may influence customer behaviour. In mid-March 2025, the company released a report titled 'The New Codes of Value' which takes the cultural temperature of the reasons how, and why, consumers shop. 'In the last couple of years, things have shifted in the way that we (in the English speaking world) spend money, what we perceive to be the cost of things and what we consider to have value,' adds Harkin. 'We have less money, so we're thinking a lot more carefully about what we are buying and how long that will last. Increased value is put on experiences rather than things, a sentiment spilling over from the luxury sector where the products which are doing well are those which uphold ideals around craftsmanship and heritage.' She also believes that we have become overwhelmed by the prompts to buy things. 'It's too much,' she says. 'People feel a need to slow down in the face of it, they feel less of a drive to buy the latest thing. Repairing or buying pre-loved items feels regenerative. A lot of what we experience in the digital world brings people numbness, so mending, thrifting… These things help people break out of that feeling.'
Yahoo
12 hours ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
People Are Sharing The Societal Expectations That They Absolutely Refuse To Follow And Are Completely Over
There are things pretty much everyone does out of habit, politeness, or societal pressure — until someone finally says, "I'm done," and opts out. Whether it's skipping small talk or ditching social media updates, they just stop doing what's expected Recently, Redditor LazyMechanic3061 wanted to know about those things people are over when they asked: "What's a social norm that you absolutely refuse to follow, and why?" Below are the top and most often repeated responses people gave: 1."Posting every big life event, job change, buying a car, etc., on social media. I used to, but I know if anyone had actual interest, they would ask." —Tight-Message9940 "That's not a social norm, that's just a social media norm." —Kruse 2."Out of control consumerism. I have zero desire to upgrade my car that runs fine, or to have the latest iPhone, or redecorate to follow some trend, etc. All of this need to appear to be better off than one actually is, spending money they don't really have, and for what? Appearances? Fuck people's opinions. IDC. I will never understand why so many people feel like they have to keep up with the Joneses, constantly spending and consuming to try to seem like they're 'with it'. It's ridiculous." —Own_Accountant_2618 "It's crazy how many letters I got from dealerships after I paid off my car. 'Time up upgrade!' Uhhh, no, time to be stoked that I don't have a car payment." —crunchyfoliage Related: Boyfriends Are Sharing What They Never Knew About Women Until They Started Dating One, And These Discoveries Are Pure Relationship Gold 3."I will never understand why you would pay $100-plus to attend a live concert just to watch the whole thing through your phone's camera." —shootyoureyeout "THANK YOU! I finally found one I 100% agree with. If I want to see a recording of the show, it will be on YouTube later with way better quality than my iPhone from the 80th row or even from the floor with 6' dudes bobbing their heads in front of me. JUST. LOOK. AT. THE. BAND! With the eyes God gave you!" —aurelianwasrobbed 4."I will wear white pants before Memorial Day if I damn well feel like it!" —21stCenturyJohnny "And after labor day!" —OkRepublic5837 5."Asking people how they are if I'm not ready to respond to a negative answer." —throwaway31411235813 "Don't say, 'How are you?' to someone you've never met, especially while they're at work. I know you don't care and don't want an honest answer. And I won't say it to you because I don't care either. We can have a pleasant exchange without getting fake personal." —Squid_ProRo Related: 25 Eye-Opening Confessions From A Trauma Therapist That Changed The Way I Think About Mental Health 6."I'm a straight man who loves cooking, gardening, sewing. I like wine but don't like beer, and I choose white chocolate over dark. I have pink shoes that match my pink shirt. My favorite movie is Bring it On, and I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan. Why? Because I don't give a fuck what people think men should and shouldn't enjoy." —AnkleFrunk "My husband will drink a fruity drink if he wants to. He will wear pink if he wants to. He will have the most flamboyant shoes on and proudly show them off. He says he's 'peacocking.' And he doesn't give a freaking damn what anyone thinks. He likes what he likes, and that screams manliness to me because of how secure in himself he is. It's such a turn-on. Keep on keepin' on!" —MermaidOnTheTown 7."Living life for work and not living for life." —LastSpotKills "As a Gen Z dude, it drives me nuts seeing how many guys are only focused on working and getting money. Like I certainly am not a super star for health (a lot of it is genetic), but I get out, hike, shoot, ride horses, go to concerts, and fish. But a lot of these guys just go to work, watch football, and sleep." —kilroy-was-here-2543 8."I won't treat anyone like they are on a pedestal. In my opinion, we are all humans… if you're a big boss or cleaning lady, everyone receives the same treatment." —OliveaSea "This is big for me, too. Hierarchies continue to exist when we play into them. My boss is my peer just like my coworkers, and I treat them all with respect, but don't shy away from healthy confrontation with any of them either." —uummmmmmmmmmmok 9."'Keeping the peace' and 'not rocking the boat.' I'm not giving up my own peace to keep the narcissistic asshats that clutter my life happy. Spent entirely too long doing it. Why yes, yes, I'll 'ruin the day' or 'be too serious' or 'just refuse to take a joke.' I'm half past giving a fuck and I'm just over and done with being a doormat dumping ground." —pardonmyass "My parents are both cycle-breakers from crappy families. They taught me family isn't just blood, and it's good to cut off a person who negatively impacts your life, regardless of DNA shared. I had to learn how to apply those lessons with some bad friends in my teens and early adult life, but I'm thankful my parents were able to shield me from a ton of family abuse and never told me to keep the peace." —magicrowantree 10."Make up, even as a teenager. It's a pain to apply, I'm not good at it, and now if I try to wear it, I feel like a clown, so I let my dark circles live their lives." —Fairfountain "Agree. I didn't even wear make up to my wedding. This is what I look like. There's nothing wrong with my actual human face." —skupalupa 11."Respecting your elders just because they are old. My grandmother is a monster who deserves not one single ounce of respect, yet she's given deference whenever she acts out in her racist and bigoted ways. Fuck her, fuck that." —mokes310 "I'm finally coming to that realization at 50-damn-years-old. Talked to my big sister. Most of my uncles/aunts and especially our dad are all garbage people." —NoReference3721 12."I refuse to play music, listen to podcasts, or watch videos through my phone speaker while in public." —powerandbulk "What's especially annoying is that most of the time people who blast music blast the same shitty music." —RadiantHC lastly, "This is a very little and inconsequential one, but I won't wish people a happy birthday on Facebook. If I know them well enough, I'll tell them in person or with a text. If I don't know them well enough to do that, then they don't need to hear it from me at all." —IrenaeusGSaintonge "This is actually a good point." —mjflood14 You can read the original thread on Reddit. Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. Also in Goodful: Therapists Are Revealing The Moments That Made Them Break Their "No Judgment" Rule, And I'm Honestly Speechless Also in Goodful: 19 "Garbage" Modern Trends People Refuse To Partake In Despite Their Popularity Also in Goodful: "This Has Taken Me Years And Years And YEARS To Figure Out": This Woman's Clever Way To Tell If Someone Is Your Real Friend Is Being Called The Most Accurate Thing Ever
South China Morning Post
16 hours ago
- Business
- South China Morning Post
Pop Mart's shares get a beating as People's Daily weighs in to rail against ‘blind boxes'
The world's most valuable toymaker is losing some of its appeal after the mouthpiece newspaper of the Communist Party of China poured cold water on its business model and warned against the addictiveness of its wildly popular collectibles. Pop Mart International Group 's shares plunged as much as 6.6 per cent on Friday in Hong Kong after the People's Daily newspaper ran a commentary that railed against the 'wilful consumerism' of so-called blind boxes. The stock has fallen 11 per cent in two days, wiping out HK$36 billion (US$4.58 billion) in market value. The mainstay of Pop Mart's business model is its blind boxes and blind cards, which hide their contents with sealed packaging. That drives collectors into frequent and repeat purchases to get their hands on the rarest and most desired toys or cards, where the chance of finding rare editions has been calculated at less than 2 per cent. These products are 'business traps' designed to use unpredictable rewards to encourage repeat purchases, the People's Daily said, citing legal experts and academics. Minors are especially susceptible given their still-developing self-control and psychological maturity, the newspaper warned, calling for stronger regulations to protect them against these tactics. A girl looked at 'blind boxes' - where their contents are hidden by sealed packaging - at a Pop Mart store in Beijing on June 3 2021. Photo: EPA-EFE With a circulation of 3 million, the People's Daily's editorial stance reflects the thinking of China's policymakers. Chinese authorities issued a directive in 2023 banning the sale of blind boxes to children under eight years old to curb their addiction.
New York Times
4 days ago
- Business
- New York Times
Her Job Was Real. So Why Did Her Work Feel So Fake?
FAKE WORK: How I Began to Suspect Capitalism Is a Joke, by Leigh Claire La Berge In some sense capitalism is already behind us. We live here in its fevered midst, to be sure, but a recognition is emerging, especially among younger generations: It isn't sustainable. The devastation of the natural world; the mindless consumerism; above all, the human misery that corporations trawl the world to extract, like ore, from souls as divine as yours or mine. All of it, increasingly, in service to the pathological greed of a few thousand mentally ill men. It cannot last. What comes next may be better, or it may be worse. But it won't be this. 'Fake Work: How I Began to Suspect Capitalism Is a Joke,' by Leigh Claire La Berge, offers an early autopsy. Set in the years just before the turn of the millennium, it recounts the time La Berge, now a writer and English professor, spent in the corporate world, helping a Fortune 500 company prepare for Y2K. Her experience was so surreal — capitalism, in its cubicle era, so far from Adam Smith's touchingly simple original conception of it as the propensity to truck, barter and exchange — that the book's tonic note is disbelief. 'Is this how companies are put together?' she wrote at the time, in a draft of an abandoned novel that she quotes throughout 'Fake Work.' 'I find it incredible. These are the things that organize global commerce? Run governments? Fly planes? My second-grade soccer team was more carefully recruited and managed.' Part of the absurdity is circumstantial. Working for a 'sprawling global conglomerate over whose imperial territory the sun never set,' she is seconded to Arthur Anderson, the infamous accounting firm that enabled Enron's crimes. There, she works in the 'burgeoning millennial-preparedness office,' helping to forestall a data catastrophe that the reader knows will never arise. 'On January 1, 2000,' a grave slide deck prepared by the firm dolefully asks, 'will I still have electricity, food, telephone, transportation?' Yet this doubled unreality — a fraudulent firm solving a non-problem — only intensifies the universal elements of La Berge's story. She carefully details the farcical outcomes of corporate policy; for instance, employees have to fly coach if the trip is under a certain distance, so the team conveniently decides that Canada is 'fairly Y2K prepared' in order to fly first class to the Asia-Pacific region instead. And she also tracks, more soberly, the ennui, the dismay, of people doing labor 'so dissociative and diminutive that, for me anyway, the need for bathroom breaks seemed increased in proportion to the amount of it I completed.' Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
CNA
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- CNA
Why I use Gen Z and Gen Alpha lingo with my kids, even when they roll their eyes
'Alright, I think I totally nailed that and aura farmed, am I right?' I said, beaming with pride at the back-cam wefie I'd just taken that had actually turned out well. My 16-year-old daughter Kirsten, bless her, fought off every instinct to roll her eyes – an effort I appreciated deeply – and replied with a straight face: 'No, actually. Just by saying that, you lost aura points.' 'Huh, so it wasn't sigma?' I asked, grinning. 'You didn't like the rizz-sults?' This time, her eye roll came not as a conscious decision but a gag reflex. 'Dad,' she said. 'Just. Stop.' 'Okay, merry rizzmas,' I muttered, dashing away before I cracked myself up entirely. BOOMERS ARE OKAY I envy boomers. And I don't mean that sarcastically. It's not so much for their ability to craft and broadcast 'Good Morning, God Bless You' WhatsApp messages faster than they can open the app, but their complete, unadulterated embrace of being… uncool. I'm talking about the (mostly) utter lack of desire to stay relevant in the face of contemporary cultural shifts – whether it's fashion, pop culture, or TikTok. There's a certain beauty in being completely disconnected from new fads and trends. These are people living their best life, in a very real way. But Gen X dads like me grew up with the currency of cool as a core key performance indicator of our self-identity. It's partly us wanting to define ourselves outside of our parents, and partly our unique positioning as a generation birthed at the dawn of consumerism and globalisation. We grew up with movies centred on exploring the idea and value of 'cool' – Back to the Future, Grease and more. We wanted to 'be like Mike', whether it was Michael Jordan in his Nikes or Michael Jackson with his smooth moves. TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL So here's the tension: I know I don't need to be cool to be a good dad – but still, I can't help but try. And yes, sometimes that effort backfires in the form of second-hand embarrassment (or, occasionally, first-hand). But recently, as I try to keep up with a whole new host of Gen Z and Gen Alpha lingo, I've been realising that this struggle goes beyond the superficial. It's not about being cool for cool's sake. Let's be honest – if you're over 40, trying to make conversation with your own dad often felt like hitting a tennis ball against a wall, but the ball's been made entirely out of cotton wool. You'd serve up a topic, hoping for some traction – and it would hit the wall sadly, and fall lamely to the floor: 'Dad, I saw Mission: Impossible today, it was so good!' 'Oh, is it?' It's even worse if they're the ones serving. 'So… how's school?' 'Did you eat already?' That was pretty much the range. I appreciate the effort – but I don't want that for my own kids. I don't want to be a well-meaning but boring dad armed only with mundane questions that go nowhere. So I try – probably too hard at times – to speak their language, quite literally. My attempts to drop Gen Z lingo aren't about trying to impress anyone. At 45, the only thing I'm 'serving' are bad puns and lame jokes. But it is an attempt at connection. An awkward, cringey, sometimes-effective olive branch. The memes we share, the TikToks we laugh at together, the post-mortem chats after another episode of The Mandalorian – these moments mean something. They're small windows into my kids' world. They let me in, just a little. And in the awkward dance of parenting three teenagers (and two preteens!), the older they get, the more that little bit matters. I TRIED SO HARD, AND GOT SO FAR But here's the catch: There's a fine line between showing interest and trying too hard. There's a version of the 'cool dad' that's plain exhausting – the one who's constantly trying to stay relevant, who shows up at school pickup with a backwards cap and ironic slang, skateboard propped over one shoulder like a youth pastor who went too deep on Urban Dictionary. At a certain point, we have to accept that our cultural peak has passed. That's okay. Coolness is a moving target, and by the time we figure out what's in, it's probably already out. (It's probably out precisely because we figured it out.) So maybe the better question is: What does being a good dad look like now, in the age of TikTok and K-pop? It's not about relevance. It's about relationship. And sometimes, that means exchanges looks like this: 'Man, New Jeans' Super Shy is super catchy huh?' 'Dad. That was like, two billion years ago.' 'Yup, but like, aren't they super slay?' 'Oh, please no.' 'By the way, I did get new jeans.' That last random line actually got a stifled chuckle from her. Cue another small win for Gen X dads – connection topped off with a hint of cringe is still connection. THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT I may not be the authority on rizz or sigma energy. My jokes may be mid at best. But I'm trying. And I think our kids see that, even when they're groaning and sighing through our cringe. There's a kind of dignity in ageing out of the need to be cool. But there's also a kind of love in making the attempt now and then, even if it's obviously 'not it'. It's not about being cool – our kids don't need us to be cool. It's about caring enough to try and connect with them on their level. So, must I be a cool dad to be a good dad? Nah. But if misusing Gen Z slang helps keep the conversation going with my kids, I'll gladly take the L. Who knows – maybe I could even earn back a few aura points.
