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Cosmopolitan
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Cosmopolitan
Should you be choreographing your sex life? How intimacy coordinators can help us off-screen, too
Think about the most memorable sex scenes from the last few years, and the chances are it involved Ita O'Brien. Connell and Marianne having sex for the first time in Normal People? Yep. Aimee teaching herself how to masturbate in Sex Education? Uh huh. The v raunchy It's A Sin montage? Arabella's blood clot interruption in I May Destroy You? The sex scene in We Live in Time that was so steamy, it ended with the cameraman facing the wall? Yes, yes, yes. O'Brien is the intimacy coordinator whose Intimacy On Set guidelines — groundbreaking guidance for filming intimate content (from kissing to sex to masturbation and beyond) — has transformed the film and TV industries. Since launching her manual in 2017, and her work then debuting in 2019's Sex Education, intimacy coordinators have become regular fixtures on set, choreographing intimate scenes (which, unbelievably, were just freestyled by actors before this), acting as a liaison between actors, directors, and the wider crew, and, in turn, helping craft more authentic, emotive, and, yes, actually arousing sex scenes. By 2020, HBO, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and more had all started employing intimacy coordinators, while 23 shows that utilised the role were nominated for Emmys that year. Although O'Brien started developing her guidelines in 2014, demand for them grew after Harvey Weinstein's decades of abuse were exposed in 2017 and the resulting MeToo movement saw actors share their own experience of sexual coercion, harassment, and assault on set. Today, eight years on, intimacy coordinators are now practically an industry standard, with countless actors expressing their gratitude for the role's existence (Michaela Coel even dedicated her 2021 BAFTA, for I May Destroy You, to O'Brien). 'There was absolutely a void of a practitioner to support intimate content,' O'Brien tells me when we speak to mark the release of her new book, Intimacy, which takes readers behind the scenes of her work. 'Without a professional process, [intimate content] wasn't engaged with openly or creatively, let alone putting in place agreement [between actors] and consent. It was just this unspoken thing in the script that everyone knew was looming.' This reluctance to plan or even talk about intimate scenes led to, as O'Brien puts it, 'a sense of awkwardness' that could result in people 'feeling harassed or even downright abused'. This isn't, obviously, unique to film sets — and so, you may not be surprised to hear that intimacy coordinators can be helpful off set, too. That's not to say you have to hire your own private intimacy coordinator every time you're getting laid, but, as O'Brien explores in her book, the techniques she uses on set — connecting with your body, setting boundaries, and, 'taking charge of the choreography of your intimate life' — can also have a monumental effect on your real romantic and intimate relationships, too. 'The fundamental tenets of the intimacy guidelines are open communication and transparency, agreement and consent, clear choreography, and really good closure,' explains O'Brien. And these tenets, she adds, can help make your own 'intimate life something that's important to you and something that you can explore and consider'. 'It all starts from being present in yourself,' she continues. 'We're getting so much more disembodied and living our lives on screens, so the first step is reminding ourselves to have a connection with our bodies and feel our own sensuality and sexuality.' This might just be asking yourself, 'What do I want?', which is, depressingly, something many people — and especially women — tend to forgo in their sexual lives. And, although it sounds strange, it may then be using choreography, of sorts, to figure out, experiment with, and then build on your desires — whether that's tapping into the Kama Sutra, adapting to changes to your body and libido (say, after childbirth or while taking particular medications), or scheduling time to be intimate. 'Just remember that open dialogue keeps the connection,' says O'Brien. And yet, maintaining communication — and therefore curiosity — about sex, including our own desire and sexual lives, can be difficult when it's been discouraged our whole lives. After all, a reluctance to talk about the still-taboo topic of sex is partly what led to film and TV's flippant approach to intimate content in the first place, as, according to O'Brien, there was a general view that 'everybody has sex, so we don't need a practitioner to teach skills'. The irony, of course, is that it's a lack of education about sex that tends to lead to awkwardness, misconceptions, and, in some cases, even assault — both on set and off. This isn't lost on O'Brien — in fact, she dedicates a whole chapter in her book to the importance of sex education. And not just for young people, but throughout our lives, too. 'If your sexual life is important to you, then make it part of your life to consider, nurture, and research it,' she says. 'Our sexuality, sensuality, and pleasure in our bodies is a thing of beauty — we should talk about it and engage with it as something that's not shameful and shouldn't be hidden. 'Open education around intimacy doesn't ruin children's innocence, it helps them preserve it,' she continues. 'We should be teaching our young people that sexual connection is human connection, which is about communication, and that intimacy is about consent — and anything that's out of consent is about power. It starts with helping everyone to respect themselves, listen to themselves, and honour their impulses — which really starts with giving people a language to [learn about, and be curious about] what they need from human connection.' Because what we see in film and TV can have a profound effect on our own sex lives (often for the worse), this language should exist on screen, as well as in schools and beyond — which is exactly what O'Brien is trying to do. It's about more than just showing sex; it's about showing sex that's authentic, clumsy, funny, physiologically accurate, and, importantly, centres consent. This, in turn, can give people an accessible language to talk about sex in its totality. One notable chapter in Intimacy, for example, explores the myth and reality of sexual arousal, and discusses how what we see on screen paints a false picture of how arousal — particularly women's — really works. 'Too many sex scenes subtly [create] the misleading impression that spontaneous and instant penetration is possible for men — and pleasing for most women,' O'Brien writes. 'This is simply not true. The anatomy of arousal for men and for women is utterly different.' Rarely do we see sex on screen that shows what most women need for sex: foreplay, clitoral stimulation, even lube. Talking and negotiation also tend to be noticeably absent, as do the messy realities of sex, diverse bodies, non-traditional relationship styles, and, although it's improving, portrayals of queer sex. As O'Brien writes: 'People are often turned off by the sex they see on screen, not because it is explicit but because it isn't real.' And yet, she adds: 'It is the default glass through which we see the world.' Transforming sex on screen, then, is just the beginning of a long journey to reshape sex more broadly — to normalise and eradicate shame around all kinds of sex, to encourage open communication (with ourselves and others), and to ultimately help *everyone* have better, more fulfilling sex lives. 'The shift in the industry is absolutely incredible,' says O'Brien, 'and it's happening in our drama and film schools, too, where there's now a flip to consent-based training. I hope my work and the book will encourage a ripple effect that can help people [learn and] connect [in their own intimate lives].' Intimacy by Ita O'Brien is out now via Ebury
Business Insider
01-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Business Insider
I took myself to the movies alone. I ended up falling in love.
After not doing it for a while, I decided to take myself solo to the movies. I started chatting with the concessions cashier and gave him my phone number on a receipt. He reached out and we fell in love like in the movies. Every year, I try to rewatch dozens of movies, finding comfort in seeing familiar characters and saying aloud what their next lines will be. Around Thanksgiving, I'd prep myself for this tradition with one of my favorites, "When Harry Met Sally" by reading the screenplay for the first time ever, so that when it was time to actually sit down and watch it again, I'd connect with it differently than last time. Reading that kind of thing around the holidays would make any other hopeless romantic yearn for their own cinematic meet-cute. And miraculously for me, I didn't just fall in love like in the movies — I got to fall in love at the movies. I went alone to the movies When Thanksgiving came around, I decided to treat myself to another tradition I hadn't done in months: I went on a solo date to the movies. I was debating which movie to watch in the first place. Torn between going to a theater closer to my apartment or going to a farther one that had the movie I actually wanted to see, I chose the latter and figured it'd be worth it. And I was right. The theater was surprisingly busy for Thanksgiving night, employees and customers alike pacing from end to end. As I waited in line for concessions, one employee in particular caught my eye. He was tall, adorable, and seemingly around my age. He was rushing back to his register, anxiously apologizing to customers, which made him even cuter. He beckoned me over since I was next. As I nervously approached him to say my order, I'd learn the name that would stay in mind the rest of the night — Brett. I gave him my phone number It wasn't until I took my card out to pay that I finally mustered up the courage to find something to talk about with him. Though his dimples certainly caught my eye, I used his hair as my starting point. "Do you use gel or anything like that to get your hair that way? Or you just wake up and poof?" He laughed, "No, I just woke up, messed around with it and hoped for the best," while flashing that million-dollar smile at me. He'd ask me what I was there to see, and my response ("We Live in Time") let him share the gem of knowledge that he could barely handle emotional movies like that. From there, we went back and forth about other movies we had or hadn't seen recently, chatting for so long that my cheeks hurt from smiling, and my back would turn in guilt of potentially holding up the line. Anyone on the outside might think he was upselling me, but I had paid long ago. I had to leave him then, but not forever. After filling my soda, because I was emboldened by either the rom-com gods or AMC's Nicole Kidman herself, I took advantage of a pen I had and the receipt he gave me. I wrote a semi-long note that started with "If you have a girl or aren't into girls, ignore this" and ended with my number. I returned to him, Red Vines in one hand and the receipt in another. I said, "Excuse me, but you might've given me the wrong receipt." We've been dating since As his concerned eyes wandered to my note, I did what any romantic protagonist would do — I ran away. I laughed and cried during the movie, my Brett in my thoughts every now and then. Once the movie finished, I checked my phone. No notifications. I got home. Still nothing. I had just finished the screenplay and desperately needed Billy Crystal to cheer me up after Andrew Garfield's tears, so I finally put on "When Harry Met Sally." After convincing myself he was taken and about 15 minutes into the movie, Brett texted me. He apologized for the delay, wanting to wait until after his shift so he could give me his full attention. When I told him what I was watching to soothe myself, not only did he say he does the same thing, but he'd immediately quote back to me my favorite scene: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." While I didn't realize it then, I knew I wanted the rest of it to start as soon as possible after every surreal date that would follow. And though we're far from the ending, I'm grateful to have a partner who not only wants to accompany me to the movies but will never let us stop feeling like we're in one.
Pink Villa
26-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Pink Villa
The Last of Us Actress Kaitlyn Dever Reveals How Andrew Garfield Helped Her Get Over Her Mother's Death
The Last of Us star Kaitlyn Dever opened up about her heartbreak before delivering her opening line in the Pedro Pascal-starrer show. The actress played the role of Abby in season 2, and in her first scene, she finds the body of her father lying lifeless on the floor after Pascal's character shoots him in the head. While in a conversation with a media portal, the actress revealed that she shot the scene a couple of days after burying her mother. Dever's mother had been suffering from cancer for the past 14 years and passed away just days before her big break in the popular series. Talking to GQ, Dever shared that her experience of delivering the line and being present on the sets that replicated her mother's death was 'gut-wrenching.' Recalling her first shot, Kaitlyn stated, 'I had just experienced [that]. Even though death is part of the human experience, we are not meant to be used to grief and watching your best friend die.' She added, 'So that was a crazy line to repeat over and over again because I had just seen her. She wasn't alive anymore, and I saw her body in the hospital.' Andrew Garfield's impacting words for Kaitlyn Dever To cope with her mother's death, Dever shared that she would search for Andrew Garfield 's words that he delivered after his mother's demise. Recalling how the We Live in Time star motivated her to move forward in life, the actress shared, 'I would Google it and watch it often, because I always felt like… the worst thing in my life that could happen was losing my best friend. And I always thought that I wouldn't be able to go on.' She further added, 'But then I'd look at Andrew and think, well, his life seems to be moving forward.' Kaitlyn Dever's emotional note for her mother The actress paid an emotional tribute to her late mother following her death from breast cancer. Dever noted, 'Thank you for fighting so hard for us for so long.' Kaitlyn shared that she will be broken forever without her mother and claimed her to be the greatest mom and wife. The actress went on to state, 'I'm grateful that you gave me Mady, Jane, and Dad. We'll always have each other to lean on because of you.'
Tom's Guide
25-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Tom's Guide
This overlooked Florence Pugh drama movie is about to leave Prime Video — and it deserves way more love
Florence Pugh has delivered some incredible performances in everything from 'Midsommar' to 'Little Women' to 'We Live in Time,' but it's her quiet, unassuming role in 'A Good Person' that hit me hardest. And I'm willing to bet it's one performance you haven't seen. Released in 2023 and written/directed by Zach Braff, 'A Good Person' went unnoticed. It didn't make a big splash at the box office, and despite Pugh's deeply affecting performance, it never quite reached the level of attention it deserved. Which is why it's a shame that this emotionally layered drama is about to disappear from Prime Video on May 29. The first time I saw it, I didn't expect it to stay with me the way it did. Pugh plays Allison, a young woman whose life is derailed after a tragic accident. What follows isn't a neatly wrapped redemption arc but a story that's messy and painfully human. Her scenes with Morgan Freeman, who plays a grieving father navigating his own demons, are among the most emotionally honest I've seen in years. So before it leaves Prime Video, give 'A Good Person' a chance. It might not be the Florence Pugh movie people talk about most but it just might be the one that lingers the longest. Allison (Florence Pugh) is a vibrant young woman with a promising future, engaged to her high school sweetheart, Nathan (Chinaza Uche). However, her life takes a tragic turn when she causes a car accident that results in the deaths of Nathan's sister, Molly (Nichelle Hines), and Molly's husband. Allison survives but is left grappling with immense guilt and physical injuries. A year later, Allison is battling a severe addiction to painkillers and living with her mother, Diane (Molly Shannon), who struggles to support her daughter's recovery. Meanwhile, Daniel (Morgan Freeman), Nathan and Molly's father and a former police officer, is raising his teenage granddaughter, Ryan (Celeste O'Connor), who is dealing with the loss of her parents. The lives of Allison and Daniel intersect at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, leading to an unexpected and complex friendship. Together, they confront their shared grief and personal demons, seeking forgiveness and a path forward. I'm a very sensitive person, so it doesn't take much for a movie to get a few tears out of me. But 'A Good Person' had me full-on sobbing at one point, which just proves how emotionally powerful this drama really is. There are so many layers that slowly peel back over the course of the story, it naturally pulls you through the motions, meaning one minute you're feeling hopeful, and the next, your eyes are puffy from crying. 'A Good Person' begins with a happy moment, where Allison and her fiancé, Nathan, are having the time of their lives at their engagement party, with their family and friends surrounding them. It's a heart-warming moment, but also a bittersweet one, considering you know something bad is about to happen. But that's one of the movie's strengths. It doesn't drag out these happy scenes, because tragedy can happen at the most unexpected times, and it makes the car crash scene even more devastating. The emotion really stems from its central characters and their personal journeys, especially Allison, who not only shatters her own life, but the lives of those around her. That includes Daniel, who would've been her father-in-law. Both of their stories interconnect in a powerful way. But what's most impressive about 'A Good Person' is that none of these characters are actually good, they're just broken. Allison is in denial and spiraling into addiction, while Daniel is struggling to reach his rebellious granddaughter. They are fractured people, and fate brings them back into each other's lives. While most of the movie is quite heavy — especially the scenes of Allison falling back into a bad habit and not receiving the proper help she needs (including a mother who doesn't support her in the right way) — there is hope buried beneath the tragedy. And as a viewer, when you're made to witness the character's worst moments, you can't help but latch onto any sliver of promise. If you're someone who can't watch a movie that's harrowing all the way through, I can say that it gets lighter, and the ending definitely brings back a sense of warmth (which is much needed after such a heavy story). How unique this movie feels will probably depend on how many similar emotional dramas you've already seen and, as with many stories like this, personal experience plays a big role in how it resonates. That said, Braff does lean into melodrama at times, where a more restrained touch might have worked better. (The emotionally intense midpoint, in particular, feels a bit overdone.) But even with those moments, he still delivers enough raw, authentic scenes between characters to balance things out. I'm surprised that 'A Good Person' received the green splat on Rotten Tomatoes. It has a rating of 57% from over 100 critics, but I'm happy that audiences gave it a much stronger score of 96%. The viewer consensus reads: 'With a profound story and some really great performances, A Good Person is a tear-jerking drama with tons of heart.' Unfortunately, this drama did get severely overlooked, and so I hope people get the chance to watch it before it leaves Prime Video this month. Florence Pugh delivers one of her most nuanced roles to date, showing a different side of her talent that's both vulnerable and deeply compelling. So if you're in the mood for a movie that's both hopeful and heart-wrenching, stream 'A Good Person' while you still can, as you might be surprised by how much it sticks with you. For alternate streaming recommendations, see what's new on the streaming service in May 2025, or check out our general guide on the best Prime Video movies. Stream "A Good Person" on Prime Video until May 29.
Indian Express
23-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
What to watch on OTT: We Live in Time, Nine Perfect Strangers S2
What to watch on OTT: Romantic drama We Live in Time, starring Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield to Nicole Kidman's Nine Perfect Strangers S2, here's your watch list for the week. We Live in Time Prime Video Almut (Florence Pugh), an up-and-coming chef, and Tobias (Andrew Garfield), a recent divorcée, find their lives forever changed when a chance encounter brings them together, in a decade-spanning, deeply moving romance. We Live in Time, which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival last year, is a romantic comedy- drama film directed by two-time BAFTA-winning director John Crowley from a screenplay by Nick Payne. Through snapshots of their life together — falling for each other, building a home, becoming a family — a difficult truth is revealed that rocks its foundation. As they embark on a path challenged by the limits of time, they learn to cherish each moment of the unconventional route their love story has taken. Sirens Netflix Devon (Meghann Fahy) thinks her sister Simone has a really creepy relationship with her new boss, the enigmatic socialite Michaela Kell (Julianne Moore). Michaela's cultish life of luxury is like a drug to Simone (Milly Alcock), and Devon has decided it's time for an intervention, but she has no idea what a formidable opponent Michaela will be. Set over Labor Day weekend, the five-part follows Devon on her mission in this dark comedy with 'a Greek mythology vibe'. I Am Nevenka BookMyShow Stream Directed by Icíar Bollaín, who has written its script with Isa Campo, the feature film dramatises the case of Nevenka Fernández, a member of the Ponferrada City Council who in 2001 became the first woman in Spain to win a court case for sexual harassment against a high-ranking politician – her former boyfriend and all-powerful Ponferrada mayor Ismael Alvárez. Relentlessly hounded by the mayor, a man used to getting his way both politically and personally, a 23-year-old Nevenka decides to report him, knowing fully well that it will cost her dearly. The film is available to rent on this streamer. Inheritance Lionsgate Play Phoebe Dynevor steps into director Neil Burger's world of suspense and secrets, portraying a woman drawn into a dangerous unravelling of her family's hidden past. Dynevor as Maya is thrust into a world of international intrigue after uncovering her father's secret past as a spy. The film tracks Maya's transformation as she races across continents, decoding clues and dodging danger at every turn. As layers of deception unravel, she's forced to question everything she thought she knew, including herself. The cast includes Rhys Ifans, Ciara Baxendale and Kashyap Shangari. Inheritance, shot entirely on an iPhone across multiple countries, including India. Nine Perfect Strangers S2 Prime Video The new season of Nine Perfect Strangers follows nine stressed city dwellers who visit a boutique health-and-wellness resort that promises healing and transformation. These strangers, connected in ways they could have never imagined, are invited by mysterious guru, Masha Dmitrichenko (Nicole Kidman), to join a transformational wellness retreat in the Austrian Alps. Over the course of a week, she takes them to the brink. Masha is willing to try anything in the interest of healing everyone involved, including herself. Created by John-Henry Butterworth and David E. Kelley, the psychological thriller stars Kidman, Melissa McCarthy and Michael Shannon in lead roles.
