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Yahoo
5 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
15 Signs Your Adult Kids Take You For Granted
In an age where independence is celebrated and helicopter parenting ridiculed, the dynamics between you and your adult children can get... complicated. You might have traded packed lunchboxes for heated debates about career choices or relationships, but the concern remains: Are they actually appreciating everything you do? It's easy to chalk it up to the quirks of modern parenthood or the push-and-pull of evolving relationships. Yet, sometimes it's deeper than that—sometimes, your adult children might be taking you for granted. Navigating these waters isn't just a lesson in patience; it's an exercise in reclaiming your own space and sanity. If you're feeling more like an ATM than a parent, or if your love seems to be a one-way street, it might be time to reassess. Here are 15 signs that your adult kids might be taking you for granted, each a wake-up call and an opportunity for growth, for both you and them. You open your wallet more often than you open your mouth to respond to another 'Thanks, love you!' text. The cycle of financial and emotional support rolls on, yet you get little acknowledgment in return. Dr. John Amodeo, author of "Dancing with Fire," points out that people often confuse entitlement with love. If gratitude is absent, it's time to have a candid conversation about mutual respect and appreciation. The silence of gratitude is often filled with the noise of expectations. They might assume it's your 'job' to help them out, or worse, they might not even notice they're doing it. This isn't just about saying "thank you"—it's about recognizing the significance of your sacrifices. Everyone loves being needed, but no one enjoys being taken for a fool. When they need a shoulder to cry on, your phone rings incessantly. But when it's your turn to lean in, suddenly their schedule is packed or their phone mysteriously dies. This imbalance can make you feel more like a therapist than a parent. If your relationship feels more burdensome than beneficial, it's time to address this imbalance. Their emotional unavailability is not just hurtful; it's neglectful. You are both adults, and relationships thrive on reciprocity, not exploitation. If they can't be there for you in times of need, the relationship becomes transactional rather than nurturing. Don't shy away from expressing how this one-sided dynamic affects you—it's a conversation that might just reset the balance. You receive more requests for errands and favors than actual conversations. From picking up their dry cleaning to booking dental appointments, you're more involved in their day-to-day life than they are. Research from the University of Michigan highlights how adult children often fail to recognize the burden they place on parents. This isn't about loving gestures; it's about an unbalanced workload that leaves you stretched thin. When you feel like a perpetual helper rather than a family member, resentment can start to build. Helping out occasionally is one thing, but if you're knee-deep in to-do lists that aren't even yours, red flags should go up. It's important to make clear boundaries while emphasizing that your support isn't endless nor unconditional. Your life is too valuable to be consumed by someone else's task list. Every birthday, anniversary, or holiday comes with the expectation of a lavish gift, with little thought returned your way. When gifting feels like an obligation rather than a celebration, it's a sign that something's amiss. They expect grand gestures, yet their reciprocation seems to be stuck on the clearance rack of consideration. This isn't about the price tag; it's about the thought—something that seems to be in short supply. When gifts become tokens of expectation rather than joy, it's time to reevaluate. Expressing love shouldn't feel like a chore, nor should it be a one-way transaction. Gifts should be given from the heart, but if the heart feels heavy with unmet expectations, it's time to have a talk. You deserve to feel cherished, not just useful. If you're the one always reaching out, it's a clear indication of disinterest or neglect. While life gets busy, maintaining a relationship shouldn't be a one-sided pursuit. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The Five Love Languages," communication is essential in any relationship, and its absence speaks volumes. If your phone only rings when they need something, it's time to ask why your relationship lacks genuine connection. The effort you put into staying connected should be matched. Your messages shouldn't feel like prodding or poking; they should be part of a dialogue, not a monologue. Relationships require time and energy from both sides, and it's important to voice your feelings if that balance is off. If they can't be bothered to initiate contact, it's vital to question their level of investment in your relationship. They assume you'll drop everything at a moment's notice, as if your schedule depends on their convenience. It's as though your life is a secondary plotline in their grand narrative. This expectation not only undermines your autonomy but also projects a lack of respect. To set the record straight, ensure you communicate that your time is as valuable as theirs. Your schedule is not an open invitation for constant interruptions. Their assumption that you're always available not only strains your time but also your relationship. You're allowed to have plans, priorities, and preferences that don't revolve around their needs. If they can't respect your time, it's a clear sign they're not respecting you. Every time they hit a financial snag, your phone lights up with another SOS. They've come to rely on your funds as a safety net, turning a blind eye to the responsibility of managing their own finances. A study by Merrill Lynch and Age Wave found that parents spend $500 billion annually on their adult children, often jeopardizing their own financial security. It's crucial to draw boundaries that protect both your wallet and your peace of mind. Financial dependence can quietly evolve into a cycle of enabling rather than empowering. While helping out in tough times is understandable, consistently bailing them out stunts their growth. They need to learn financial independence and the value of money, not just receive endless handouts. It's about teaching responsibility and accountability rather than reinforcing dependence. You've set clear boundaries, yet they seem to treat them as mere suggestions. Whether it's barging in without notice or dismissing your requests, their disregard is telling. This behavior not only invades your personal space but also erodes the foundation of mutual respect. If they continually ignore your boundaries, it's a significant red flag. Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, and breaching them is a form of disrespect. It's imperative to remind them that respecting boundaries is a non-negotiable part of any relationship. These aren't just rules; they're protections for your privacy and peace of mind. Stand firm, and let them know the importance of honoring your space. Every dilemma or crisis seems to land squarely in your lap. Instead of tackling their own challenges, they rely on you to play savior. This dynamic not only exhausts you but also hinders their personal development. If they're consistently turning to you to fix everything, it's time to encourage their independence. You're a parent, not a perpetual problem-solver. While guiding them is part of the role, there's a difference between assisting and enabling. They need to learn resilience, problem-solving, and independence—skills they won't develop if you're always stepping in. Encourage them to stand on their own two feet, even if it means navigating a few pitfalls along the way. While you celebrate their every milestone, your own accomplishments go unnoticed. The silence following your success can be deafening, leaving you feeling undervalued. It's disheartening when your efforts and achievements are met with indifference or dismissiveness. If your wins are perpetually overshadowed by their lives, it's time to draw attention to this imbalance. Your achievements deserve recognition, celebration, and respect. It's essential for them to understand that your life and achievements are just as significant. Ignoring your accomplishments is not only thoughtless but also selfish. Remind them that relationships thrive on mutual support and appreciation. Your advice and wisdom, shaped by years of experience, are often brushed aside as outdated or irrelevant. They might see you as a relic of a bygone era, ignoring the value of your insights. This dismissive attitude not only undermines your experience but also narrows their perspective. If they're not open to learning from your experiences, it's their loss, but also a loss for the relationship. Experience is a teacher, and dismissing it is both short-sighted and disrespectful. Encouraging them to see the value in your perspective can enrich their understanding and decision-making. You've navigated life's complexities, and your guidance is a resource, not a relic. Encourage dialogue, not diatribe, and remind them that wisdom doesn't age out. When things don't go their way, they deploy guilt trips or emotional blackmail to sway you. This manipulative behavior is toxic and erodes trust within the relationship. If their approach relies on making you feel bad or guilty, it's a form of emotional abuse. It's crucial to recognize this pattern and address it head-on. Emotional manipulation is a powerful yet destructive tool. It's important to set clear boundaries and stand firm against manipulative tactics. You deserve a relationship built on honesty and respect, not guilt and coercion. Address this behavior directly and emphasize the need for healthier communication dynamics. Your home feels more like a hotel, with them making themselves comfortable without any consideration for your comfort. Whether it's leaving a mess or inviting friends over without asking, their lack of respect for your space is evident. This behavior not only disrupts your environment but also demonstrates a lack of respect for your home. If your space isn't respected, neither are you. Your home is your sanctuary, not a free-for-all zone. It's important to communicate your expectations regarding respect for your space. They need to understand that sharing space requires mutual respect and consideration. Don't hesitate to set boundaries and enforce them—you deserve to feel at peace in your own home. Their focus is so self-centered that your needs and desires are often eclipsed. While they expect you to be attentive and supportive, they rarely reciprocate. This imbalance is not only unfair but also unsustainable in a healthy relationship. If they're oblivious to your needs, it's time to highlight the importance of mutual care. Relationships should be a two-way street, not a one-way alley. If their self-centeredness eclipses your needs, it's essential to speak up. Highlight the importance of mutual understanding and support in sustaining a balanced relationship. Don't let their neglect overshadow your needs—ensure your voice is heard. It's their way or the highway, with little room for negotiation or compromise. This rigid approach leaves you feeling sidelined and disrespected. Compromise is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and its absence can lead to resentment. If they're unwilling to meet halfway, it's time to address this imbalance. Their inflexibility is not just frustrating; it's detrimental to the relationship. It's crucial to emphasize the importance of compromise and mutual consideration. Relationships thrive on balance, and without it, both parties suffer. Encourage open dialogue and the understanding that compromise is not weakness but strength.
Time of India
9 hours ago
- Politics
- Time of India
US lawmakers probe University of Michigan over Chinese nationals accused in agroterrorism fungus smuggling case
US Congress is investigating the University of Michigan. The probe focuses on research ties to Chinese nationals. These individuals are accused of smuggling a harmful fungus. The fungus poses a threat to crops. Lawmakers are concerned about security lapses. They also worry about Chinese government influence. The investigation involves multiple congressional committees. They are examining federal research funding. Tired of too many ads? Remove Ads Tired of too many ads? Remove Ads A range of congressional committees has initiated an extensive investigation into professors and research facilities at the University of Michigan associated with two Chinese nationals accused of bringing a "potential agroterrorism " fungus into the United States , as reported by The National Review (TNR).Since 2010, these professors have obtained around USD 9.6 million in federal research support and have previously held positions at institutions in both China and the US Congressional investigators also discovered that Zunyong Liu, one of the two Chinese researchers charged earlier this month with smuggling, is noted as an affiliate in a Chinese-government-sponsored research talent program, according to allegedly received funding from a province in China for research on the fungus this year, while his co-defendant and girlfriend, Yunqing Jian, was taken into custody this month. Liu is believed to be absconding in China. Letters have been sent to the University of Michigan, the National Institutes of Health, and the National Science Foundation."Taxpayer dollars should never support research associated with the Chinese Communist Party , especially when it involves dangerous biological substances. These arrests highlight serious deficiencies in oversight. We urge the NIH, NSF, and the University of Michigan to promptly take measures to safeguard our laboratories and national security," a spokesperson for the House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party stated, as cited by the TNR addition to the China committee led by Representative John Moolenaar, the House Committee on Education and the Workforce and the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology are also conducting the inquiry. The chairpersons of these committees are Representatives Tim Walberg and Brian Stone. The 25 Republican signatories of the letters also included Representatives Elise Stefanik, Neal Dunn, and Virginia and Jian faced charges in Michigan earlier this month for smuggling a harmful, crop-destroying fungus called Fusarium graminearum. This incident raised significant concerns regarding security lapses in university court documentation, the Justice Department referenced academic studies indicating that the fungus leads to crop diseases affecting wheat, barley, maize, and corn, resulting in economic damages amounting to billions of dollars each year, while the FBI cited academic sources describing it as a "potential agroterrorism weapon."These arrests occurred after the Trump administration declared it would take strong action to revoke visas for Chinese students linked to the CCP who were studying in critical technology fields. This hardline stance was later softened by US President Donald Trump amid trade discussions with China. Liu and Jian have both recently been associated with the University of Michigan's Molecular Plant-Microbe Interaction Laboratory, as noted in the is also identified as a researcher backed by China's "Hundred Talents Program" on the website of Zhejiang University, according to the letters. "The Hundred Talents Program is a talent recruitment initiative sponsored by the Chinese government that, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, 'aims to attract a younger talent pool' of individuals who exhibit 'internationally-recognised expertise,'" the letter states, as mentioned by the TNR surrounding the Chinese government's talent programs primarily relate to allegations of intellectual property and research theft from American universities by Beijing . The letter further indicates that Liu has benefited from other Chinese government funding initiatives, including a grant from Zhejiang province to advance his work on Fusarium this after the initial accusations against Liu and Jian were made, federal agents indicted a third Chinese national, Chengxuan Han, for reportedly smuggling roundworms into the US for use by recipients at the University of Michigan in what seems to be an unrelated serves as the party secretary of a CCP branch for students at Huazhong University of Science and Technology, which, like Zhejiang University, is overseen by SASTIND, according to a letter from House members, as reported by general, the lawmakers cautioned: "These incidents underscore potential instances of non-compliance and other weaknesses within the US research security framework despite years of federal efforts." (ANI)
Global News
a day ago
- Sport
- Global News
Saskatchewan track star reflects on breaking Canadian, NCAA hurdles records
In her already illustrious track and field career, Savannah Sutherland hasn't been left speechless too many times before. On Saturday in Eugene, Ore., however, she found herself trying to find the right words after making NCAA history and throwing down one of the fastest times in women's 400 metre hurdles history. 'Even after a couple of days to reflect I think it still feels pretty surreal,' said Sutherland from the University of Michigan campus on Wednesday. 'It's definitely going to take a while to settle in.' Sutherland's trophy case continues to grow, as the Borden, Sask., product returned to the top of the podium at NCAA Outdoor Track and Field Championships with the Michigan Wolverines. Stepping out onto the track for the final race of her collegiate career, Sutherland blew away the competition and captured her second NCAA title in three years. Story continues below advertisement 'Coming down the home stretch I heard so much cheering,' said Sutherland. 'I didn't know if that meant that I was running fast, or if someone was coming up behind, or if I was in the lead. I don't know, I had no idea what it meant.' 'I just knew that I let it carry me through the finish as much as I could.' Crossing the finish line in 52.46 seconds, it was the best time of Sutherland's NCAA career and set numerous records as just the second collegiate runner to ever eclipse the 53-second mark in the event. The 21-year-old was able to best her previous Canadian record of 53.26 seconds which was set at last year's NCAA Outdoor Championships, crossing the line eight-tenths of a second faster. Get breaking National news For news impacting Canada and around the world, sign up for breaking news alerts delivered directly to you when they happen. Sign up for breaking National newsletter Sign Up By providing your email address, you have read and agree to Global News' Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy That wasn't the only history Sutherland was able to achieve, as she set the new NCAA standard by breaking the 2018 record time of 52.75 seconds set by then-University of Kentucky star Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone. 'That feels really, really special,' said Sutherland. 'It's hard to put into words and I don't think it's fully even sunk in yet. Of course, Sydney is the best to have ever done it.' Since setting the NCAA's record in 400 metre hurdles seven years ago, McLaughlin-Levrone has become one of the sport's greatest competitors winning gold medals at the 2020 and 2024 Olympics and recording a new world record time of 50.37 seconds in Paris last summer. Story continues below advertisement 2:03 First-time Olympian Savannah Sutherland leaning on support from hometown of Borden Eclipsing a record previously held by one of her idols, Sutherland said it's one of the most surreal achievements of her young career. 'So many people look up to her,' said Sutherland. 'The fact that my name is even in the same conversations as hers is very humbling and something that I never would have predicted would have happened.' Sutherland's victory in Oregon also serves as a bit of redemption after settling for a silver medal at the 2024 NCAA Championships, despite setting a new personal best time. The gold medal also comes on the heels of a breakout showing last summer at the 2024 Paris Olympics, where Sutherland would come home with a seventh-place finish in her Olympic debut. Not only was Sutherland able to gain confidence in racing against the best hurdlers on the planet, she also became the first Canadian since Rosey Edeh in 1996 to reach the event's final heat — a result that allowed the Saskatchewan track star to believe she can compete with anyone in any race. Story continues below advertisement 'The fact that I earned my spot there kind of solidified in my mind that no matter who is on this track, no mater what lane I'm in, no matter who else is out here… I deserve my spot and I've earned it,' said Sutherland. 'I belong here just as much as everybody else.' Sutherland's mark of 52.46 over the weekend has also become one of the fastest times in the sport's history, ranking ninth all-time in 400 metre hurdles competition. Meanwhile, her name continues to extend outwards from her small town community in Borden to the rest of Canada and beyond. 'Honestly that support is what carries you through the days that maybe you're tired and you don't want to show up to the track,' said Sutherland. 'You do it anyways because you're representing these people and you're running for something bigger than yourself at the end of the day.' Named Big Ten Outdoor Track and Field Women's Athlete of the Year for her showing at NCAA Championships, Sutherland now will begin her professional racing career with her sights set on the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles.
The Independent
a day ago
- Health
- The Independent
Why Americans who live near coastlines and lakefronts may face heightened ALS risk
If you live near bodies of water frequently impacted by harmful algal blooms, you may be at an increased risk of dying from ALS, new research reveals. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, the debilitating neurodegenerative disease commonly known as 'Lou Gehrig's Disease,' is influenced by genetics and environmental factors. It dramatically slashes the patient's life expectancy, with people typically passing away within two to five years of diagnosis. Some 5,000 are diagnosed with ALS each year in the U.S. Now, researchers at the University of Michigan Medicine say toxins produced by algal blooms in lakes and along American coasts could influence disease progression. 'While there is still limited research into the mechanism by which cyanobacteria toxins affect neurodegenerative diseases, our findings suggest that living near or participating in activities in these water bodies may influence the progression of ALS,' Dr. Stephen Goutman, the school's Harriet Hiller research professor, director of the Pranger ALS Clinic, and associate director of the ALS Center of Excellence, said in a statement. Goutman is the senior author of the study which was published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. Specifically, the researchers have found a toxin produced by the bloom cyanobacteria in brain and spinal fluid cerebral spinal fluid samples of people with ALS. It's known as ß-methylamino-L-alanine. Increasingly driven by human-caused climate change and nutrient pollution, the blooms are caused when cyanobacteria grows dense and out of control. Cyanobacteria produce several toxic agents that are linked neurodegenerative diseases, including Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. They surveyed participants who were seen at the University of Michigan Pranger ALS Clinic, many of whom lived within three miles of a harmful algal bloom. They measured the duration and extent of their exposure using satellite data from the Cyanobacteria Assessment Network and their residential and health histories. Ultimately, they found that living near blooms -- especially if swimming or boating -- was associated with dying of ALS nearly one year sooner. The people with the most significant exposures both lived near harmful blooms and used a private well as their water source. People in the Midwest may be particularly threatened partially due to pervasive industrial and agricultural productions in the region. Michigan's Lake Erie is frequently impacted by these blooms. 'If exposure to cyanobacteria toxins is a meaningful risk factor for ALS, the large number of inland lakes from to such bacteria in the Midwest may partly explain why the disease incidence is much higher than other parts of the country,' Dr. Stuart Batterman, first author and professor of environmental health sciences at the university's School of Public Health, said.
Gulf Today
a day ago
- Health
- Gulf Today
Parent's mistake may cause teens to be anxious and depressed
More and more teens are experiencing anxiety and depression and it may be tied to a surge in overprotective parenting, a new poll found. The University of Michigan's C.S. Mott Children's Hospital conducted the survey, gathering responses from more than 1,000 parents of adolescents ages 13 to 18. The findings revealed that less than 50 percent of parents would allow their teen to stay alone in a hotel room while they went to get breakfast. Around a third of parents polled would let their teen walk alone to a nearby coffee shop, while only 20 percent said they are comfortable with their teen visiting amusement parks or museums without them. One in five parents says they've never let their teen be apart from them during a trip. The results suggest that today's teenagers have less autonomy than previous generations who regularly walked to school, worked part-time, or visited friends without adult supervision. Mental health experts say that this drop in independence may be contributing to the emotional struggles now seen in many young people. "It's absolutely no surprise to me that we are seeing these dramatic rises in anxiety, depression, even suicide among teenagers," Boston College psychologist Peter Gray told Science News. Adults should shift from shielding teens to teaching them real-world skills such as using public transit, handling strangers and ordering food or their own, said Sarah Clark, a public health expert and co-director of the C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health. "If we reach some families and just approach this upcoming summer a little differently, I feel like that's a big win," Clark told Science News. Experts recommend involving teens in vacation planning and establishing clear guidelines, which can help families set mutually comfortable boundaries. For example, a majority of parents said they'd feel more comfortable if teens checked in by phone (64 percent), stayed with friends or siblings (62 percent) and stuck to predetermined locations (55 percent), measures that offer peace of mind while giving teens room to grow independently. The Independent
