a day ago
‘We bought a house together six months after we met'
The first time Lorraine Feng and her boyfriend dared to discuss their salaries with each other was when they were applying for a mortgage.
The couple had only met six months previously, but sky-high London rents had convinced them to pool together their savings and buy a new-build flat on the Northern line.
'We were paying £2,000 per month individually in rent. It was getting too much so we decided to commit,' says Feng, 32. 'The decision to buy wasn't impulsive. It came from a real need.'
She and her partner, Tomasz Przytula, 31, are part of a growing generation of couples buying homes together soon after meeting – and, perhaps, before they are fully ready.
A survey by Skipton building society found that 64pc of adults in relationships value getting on the property ladder over getting married.
It is not difficult to see why. It takes the average single person 11 years of saving to get on the property ladder, according to estate agency Hamptons. This time is halved when buying in a couple is factored in.
For Feng and Przytula, the frustration of handing over half of their monthly pay cheques to their landlords proved the tipping point. In January 2024, they paid a deposit of £57,000 on a flat in Barnet, London – 10pc of the apartment's total value.
The property is held in joint ownership, with Przytula putting down a bigger percentage of the deposit.
Neither Feng nor Przytula borrowed from their parents: 'Luckily, we are both quite frugal and we both agreed that paying rent was lining someone else's pockets.
'Tomasz does earn more than me, but we agreed to keep it simple and split the mortgage payments 50/50,' Feng says. She is a product analyst, while Przytula is software engineer.
A year into home ownership, they both agree that they made the right decision to buy so early on in their relationship, and have no regrets. The couple have no agreement in place about how the property should be split if they need to do so.
Battling a breakup
But of course, love does turn sour for many, and those that have committed too soon have found the harder part of extracting themselves from a relationship is the mortgage that ties them together.
Molly*, 28, and her military boyfriend, Rob*, 32, were desperate to get on the property ladder.
They had been together for just under 24 months when they completed on the property, but had not spent much time together. Rob had been deployed for six months on tour, and was away with his job on and off throughout their relationship.
'We bought a starter home in Gloucestershire with a deposit in which I contributed 65pc and he contributed 35pc,' says Molly. 'The house was bought for £365,000. My deposit came from savings and family help.'
In 2020, two years into living in their home, the relationship broke down. Rob moved back to military accommodation and Molly remained in the house.
'We both come from divorced parents so had the nous to draw up a deed of trust before we bought. Thank goodness we did because dividing the asset was harder than anything I have ever done,' she says.
Added to this was a second mortgage they had taken out to cover the cost of a refurbishment, which made it more complicated.
'We used legal representation because I wanted to stay and he wanted to sell. We had three valuations – the house had risen in value in the two years we were there – we took the middle one,' she says.
'I'm quite stoic and try to keep a fair head on my shoulders but it was really hard. There were also animals involved and furniture to argue over, and in the meantime, we were carrying the burden of joint liability for the mortgage payments until he sold his share to me.'
Ignoring the warnings
Other couples who have wanted to buy with their partner have encountered resistance from friends and family who feel they are fast-forwarding their relationship too soon.
Sophie*, 30, and her boyfriend Toby*, 33, have been dating for a year.
'One evening we ended up scrolling through houses online and saw one we liked, listed for £200,000 in Manchester. We viewed it and ended up putting in an offer – we were surprised and delighted when it was accepted,' Sophie says.
They have faced warnings and negativity from loved ones driven by concern.
'My family have asked me to pull out of the sale because they are worried that it's too soon for us as a couple. We are yet to complete, but the whole process has felt negative because of what they have said.'
Sophie and Toby are pressing ahead and, as to the thorny issue of what happens if things do go wrong, they say they will deal with it if that eventuality occurs.
'We haven't got a formal agreement in place outlining the split of the assets, but we hope that is not something we will have to face.'
