Latest news with #Runyon
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Is it so bad to let kids 'rot' all summer? Why boredom might be the break they need
As the school year winds down and the buzz of summer camps, enrichment programs and extracurricular planning ramps up, a quieter countertrend is starting to gain momentum. It's called "kid rotting," a tongue-in-cheek term for what used to just be summer: lounging, daydreaming, doing a whole lot of nothing. But behind the viral phrase is a serious shift in thinking. More parents and experts are beginning to ask whether kids might actually need more unstructured time, not less. Tips to help lessen summer learning loss "When kids aren't scheduled every minute, they learn how to problem-solve, explore their interests and build confidence," Nicole Runyon, a psychotherapist and author of "Free to Fly," who has a master's in social work, told "Good Morning America." She added, "Boredom opens up space in the brain for creativity." Parents may worry that unstructured time will lead to laziness or regression. But experts suggest the opposite is true, especially when it comes to imagination, independence and emotional development. "Boredom actually opens up space in the brain for creativity," said Runyon. "When kids aren't scheduled every minute, they learn how to problem-solve, explore their interests and build confidence." Tanyell Cole, a therapist with a bachelor's in psychology and a master's in marriage and family therapy, agrees. "The mind isn't ever truly bored," she told "GMA." "When a child says they're bored, what they often mean is, 'I don't want to sit with my thoughts.' But learning to sit with those thoughts? That's where real growth happens." Unstructured time allows children to discover what motivates them and what brings them joy. It encourages daydreaming, critical thinking and curiosity, the very skills that often get sidelined during a tightly structured school year. One of the biggest hurdles to an "unscheduled summer" is screen time. What starts as a little "downtime" can quickly become hours lost to YouTube, gaming or social media scrolling. That's where intentional boundaries come in. "Make screens something that happen with you, not just around you," Runyon advised. "Watch a movie together, try a cooking tutorial as a family, or limit screen time to certain hours. But make the default for summer real life." Cole suggests reframing the conversation altogether. "Instead of focusing on taking away screens, schedule in 'free time' as something exciting," she said. "Let kids decide how to use it, with games, outdoor play, coloring or simply hanging out with neighbors. Over time, that freedom becomes something they value and even look forward to." She added, "Unstructured time is how we develop resilience, motivation, and emotional awareness. That can't be replicated by apps or programming." While all children can benefit from unscheduled time, certain developmental stages are particularly well-suited for it. "Middle childhood, ages 9 to 12, is a powerful time for self-discovery," Runyon said. "It's when kids begin separating emotionally from their parents and developing a sense of identity. Giving them space to explore their interests builds their confidence and resilience." Screen-free ways to keep kids entertained this summer Cole highlighted early childhood, ages 3 to 6, as another crucial window. "This is when kids daydream freely, without inhibitions," she said. "Too much structured time at this age can stunt their ability to be independent thinkers. It can also disconnect them from their own passions." Not every family has the option to skip child care or afford summer camps, but building independence and creativity doesn't require big budgets. "Let kids make a mess," said Cole. "Creativity is rarely clean. It's food coloring turned into paint, flour all over the counter, dress-up clothes scattered in the bathroom. These moments are low-pressure, low-cost, and they come from what you already have at home." Runyon agrees. "A 3-year-old can get their own snack if it's within reach," she said "A 10-year-old can cook a meal. A teen can get a summer job or volunteer. When kids are trusted with real responsibilities, they begin to trust themselves, and that sense of capability is what drives true confidence." Ultimately, a "rot" summer might be the reset children need after a year of packed schedules and digital overstimulation. And for parents, it may be an opportunity to reframe success. "Letting your child be still, be curious, be bored, that's not wasted time," said Runyon. "That's where they start to figure out who they are."
2 days ago
- General
Is it so bad to let kids 'rot' all summer? Why boredom might be the break they need
As the school year winds down and the buzz of summer camps, enrichment programs and extracurricular planning ramps up, a quieter countertrend is starting to gain momentum. It's called "kid rotting," a tongue-in-cheek term for what used to just be summer: lounging, daydreaming, doing a whole lot of nothing. But behind the viral phrase is a serious shift in thinking. More parents and experts are beginning to ask whether kids might actually need more unstructured time, not less. "When kids aren't scheduled every minute, they learn how to problem-solve, explore their interests and build confidence," Nicole Runyon, a psychotherapist and author of "Free to Fly," who has a master's in social work, told "Good Morning America." She added, "Boredom opens up space in the brain for creativity." The case for boredom Parents may worry that unstructured time will lead to laziness or regression. But experts suggest the opposite is true, especially when it comes to imagination, independence and emotional development. "Boredom actually opens up space in the brain for creativity," said Runyon. "When kids aren't scheduled every minute, they learn how to problem-solve, explore their interests and build confidence." Tanyell Cole, a therapist with a bachelor's in psychology and a master's in marriage and family therapy, agrees. "The mind isn't ever truly bored," she told "GMA." "When a child says they're bored, what they often mean is, 'I don't want to sit with my thoughts.' But learning to sit with those thoughts? That's where real growth happens." Unstructured time allows children to discover what motivates them and what brings them joy. It encourages daydreaming, critical thinking and curiosity, the very skills that often get sidelined during a tightly structured school year. You can say no to screens One of the biggest hurdles to an "unscheduled summer" is screen time. What starts as a little "downtime" can quickly become hours lost to YouTube, gaming or social media scrolling. That's where intentional boundaries come in. "Make screens something that happen with you, not just around you," Runyon advised. "Watch a movie together, try a cooking tutorial as a family, or limit screen time to certain hours. But make the default for summer real life." Cole suggests reframing the conversation altogether. "Instead of focusing on taking away screens, schedule in 'free time' as something exciting," she said. "Let kids decide how to use it, with games, outdoor play, coloring or simply hanging out with neighbors. Over time, that freedom becomes something they value and even look forward to." She added, "Unstructured time is how we develop resilience, motivation, and emotional awareness. That can't be replicated by apps or programming." The sweet spot for unstructured growth While all children can benefit from unscheduled time, certain developmental stages are particularly well-suited for it. "Middle childhood, ages 9 to 12, is a powerful time for self-discovery," Runyon said. "It's when kids begin separating emotionally from their parents and developing a sense of identity. Giving them space to explore their interests builds their confidence and resilience." Cole highlighted early childhood, ages 3 to 6, as another crucial window. "This is when kids daydream freely, without inhibitions," she said. "Too much structured time at this age can stunt their ability to be independent thinkers. It can also disconnect them from their own passions." Low-pressure ways to foster creativity Not every family has the option to skip child care or afford summer camps, but building independence and creativity doesn't require big budgets. "Let kids make a mess," said Cole. "Creativity is rarely clean. It's food coloring turned into paint, flour all over the counter, dress-up clothes scattered in the bathroom. These moments are low-pressure, low-cost, and they come from what you already have at home." Runyon agrees. "A 3-year-old can get their own snack if it's within reach," she said "A 10-year-old can cook a meal. A teen can get a summer job or volunteer. When kids are trusted with real responsibilities, they begin to trust themselves, and that sense of capability is what drives true confidence." Slower doesn't mean less Ultimately, a "rot" summer might be the reset children need after a year of packed schedules and digital overstimulation. And for parents, it may be an opportunity to reframe success.
Yahoo
06-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Daughters of Emotionally Immature Parents Often Develop These 7 Traits as Adults
Small children often let their imaginations run wild, sometimes pretending to be parents and having the parent play the role of the child. However, this scenario may not be fun and games in real life, especially if the parent is emotionally immature. "Children of emotionally immature parents risk becoming what's known in psychology as 'parentified,'" says Nicole Runyon, LMSW, a psychotherapist and author of Free to Fly: The Secret to Fostering Independence in the Next Generation. "It's a role reversal in which the child cares for the parent emotionally instead of the parent caring for the child. The parentified child takes on an adult role before they are fully developed emotionally and become adults who feel personally responsible for other people's feelings." Runyon says daughters of emotionally immature mothers and fathers can suffer from chronic emotional burnout from putting everyone else's needs and wants before their own. The same is true for sons, but Runyon says women and girls are particularly at risk for the long-term effects of emotionally immature parents. "Girls and women are communal," Runyon explains. "We weave the social fabric of our families and society. This makes us more susceptible to being agreeable to please others." In other words, you can suffer from "eldest daughter syndrome" even if you have an elder sister. Healing is possible, though, especially if you can recognize common traits in daughters of emotionally immature parents. Runyon shared seven common ones and tips for coping and moving on. Related: What Is 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome?' 11 Signs To Look For, According to Psychologists 7 Common Traits of Daughters With Emotionally Immature Parents 1. Codependent in relationships The dynamics we share in our earliest relationships—with our parents—can become the ones we normalize, for better or worse. Runyon points out that daughters of emotionally immature parents are prone to developing codependent relationships. In these dynamics, one person (usually the daughter of an emotionally immature parent) puts their needs on the back burner. "Women are generally more agreeable than men because of our need to be communal," Runyon notes. "However, agreeableness is magnified in women who are reared by emotionally immature parents because they are rewarded for this behavior. They learn early on that they must put themselves aside for someone else to be in a relationship." 2. Perfectionist There's little room for error when you're parenting a parent despite not being legally old enough to vote. "Children raised by emotionally immature parents miss key points in their development—one of which is learning that it's okay to make mistakes," Runyon says. "These children become adults who don't permit themselves to fail. They are terrified that failing means not being forgiven." 3. Prone to fawning Emotionally immature parents can put daughters into survival mode, which Runyon says triggers a fight, flight, freeze or fawn reaction in the nervous system. Fawning is a trauma response where you people-please to avoid conflict, and daughters of emotionally immature parents generally react by fawning to feel safe in relationships. "The person tells themselves, 'If I serve, they won't leave,'" Runyon says. "Stress compounds. These women often are not able to calm the nervous system and [they] remain in the stress response." Chronic stress can manifest physically and mentally. "Chronic stress wreaks havoc on the body, and these women overwhelmingly experience symptoms of fatigue, sleep disruptions, autoimmune issues, [and] lack of attention and focus," Runyon reveals. Related: 6 Signs You Have an Emotionally Immature Partner and How to Deal, According to a Psychologist 4. Always grinding We're human beings, not human doings. However, daughters of parents lacking emotional maturity often miss (or can't bring themselves to internalize) that popular Instagram tile. "These women take on tasks and overdo them because being 'busy' means being valued," Runyon says. "They have internalized that inherently, they have no value unless they are 'doing.' They can't stop and give themselves time to think about their feelings or needs because if they do, they will feel the pain of not having that in their childhood. It's in the silence that we learn about ourselves, and the silence is terrifying." Related: 7 Signs of 'High-Functioning Depression,' According to a Columbia-Trained Psychiatrist 5. Anxious Parents who lack emotional maturity struggle to identify and regulate their own feelings, so they generally raise children who can. It can result in adults who feel like they don't have control over themselves, triggering anxiety. "When a trusted adult helps a child move through negative feelings, the child gains a sense that they can trust themselves, even when things are uncertain," Runyon explains. "This provides a sense of security over the unknown. If this doesn't occur, that child develops tendencies of trying to control the outside world because the inner chaos isn't resolved." Runyon notes that the illusion of external control is a trap. "We can only control ourselves," Runyon explains. "It's in [that] internal locus of control that helps us to move through fear." 6. Depressed As with anxiety, parents who aren't in touch with their feelings often struggle to raise children who can say the opposite. "When children aren't taught early on how to process their feelings and move out of them, they learn to shut down the emotional center," Runyon says. However, burying unresolved feelings doesn't mean they disappear. "They stay put, get pushed down and leave room for more negative feelings to build," Runyon explains. "Eventually, the person cannot hold on to the feelings, and they bubble over, causing symptoms of depression. When there is no resolve, women feel trapped, causing them to ruminate and lose their ability to work through it." Related: 7 Signs of Depression Most People Miss, According to Mental Health Experts 7. Quick to anger Runyon reports that unprocessed feelings can also trigger short tempers and uncontrollable anger. "Anger can feel powerful to someone who doesn't feel control over themselves and can be the only emotion they allow themselves to have," Runyon shares. "When feelings get pushed down enough, they boil over and often become uncontrollable." Related: People Who Were 'Emotionally Neglected' in Childhood Often Develop These 10 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say How To Heal From Emotionally Immature Parents 1. Set boundaries in relationships Pool fences are one tool to keep pets and small kids from physically drowning. Boundaries in relationships can figuratively do the same for your mental well-being if you're the daughter of an emotionally immature mother or father. "We have to prioritize ourselves to be available to others and avoid burnout," Runyon emphasizes. "This can be done by first giving yourself time to think and process the feelings. This will be hard, but getting to a place where you understand yourself leads you to have the ability to communicate your needs in a relationship." 2. Push through the discomfort Healing from such an exhausting childhood—one that has affected you as an adult—won't be easy. "Discomfort in someone who wasn't reared to work through their feelings can feel terrifying," Runyon says. "It's something to survive, and it triggers the fight, flight, freeze or fawn response in the nervous system." Runyon can't take those feelings away—there's no getting around them. "The only way out is through," Runyon explains. "I suggest doing somatic exercises to calm the nervous system and allow emotional discomfort to bubble up. Painful feelings don't have to be scary and certainly are not a threat. They are a part of life." 3. Control the controllable Runyon says adults of emotionally immature parents crave control over their environments. It offers a sense of protection. However, knowing what you can and cannot control is critical. "Understanding that we are responsible for our part in any relationship is the key to healing," Runyon says. "A relationship works like a system. Each person is responsible for their part in the system." For instance, you can't change your childhood but can enact and enforce boundaries as an adult. Up Next: Related: How To Deal With a Narcissistic Parent, According to Psychologists Source:
USA Today
22-04-2025
- Sport
- USA Today
Tennessee forward signs with One Knox Sporting Club Women
Tennessee forward signs with One Knox Sporting Club Women Tennessee soccer player Kate Runyon has signed to play for One Knox Sporting Club Knoxville Women. "We are thrilled to announce that a familiar face in the 865, Kate Runyon from the University of Tennessee, will be joining us this summer," One Knoxville Sporting Club Women announced. The junior forward scored two goals and recorded two assists for the Lady Vols in 2024. She appeared in 14 matches, including nine starts. As a freshman, Runyon scored four goals and totaled nine points before missing games due to injury, appearing in 15 games (nine starts). She was named to the SEC All-Freshman Team. Runyon scored in her collegiate debut against California and was Tennessee's first goal of the season. Runyon, a native of Westminster, Colorado, played high school soccer at Jefferson Academy in Broomfield, Colorado. She was named 2023 Colorado Gatorade Player of the Year. Runyon was also named CHSAA and Metro League Player of the Year, whiling helping win a 3A state championship. One Knoxville Sporting Club Women will compete in the USL W League, a preprofessional women's soccer league. One Knox will play its home matches at first-year Covenant Health Park in downtown Knoxville, which is also home to One Knoxville Sporting Club men's professional team and to the Knoxville Smokies, a Double-A affiliate of the Cubs. One Knoxville Sporting Club Women will play its first home match May 10.
Yahoo
09-04-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
Plans approved, groundbreaking date in sight for historic Denver venue renovations
DENVER (KDVR) — The site owners of the locally renowned historic jazz venue El Chapultepec have a groundbreaking date in sight after plans were approved for a major renovation project. A spokesperson for Monfort Companies, which purchased the El Chapultepec and Giggling Grizzly properties in 2022, told FOX31 that renovation plans were officially submitted and approved by the Lower Downtown Design Review Commission last week. 'Cooking up something big': El Chapultepec site owners unveil updated renovation planbs In February, Monfort Companies Director of Business Development Matt Runyon told FOX31 that selecting architects for the project and polishing plans was the motivation the team working on the project needed. Now, they are looking forward to July 1 as a target groundbreaking date. The new design includes an open-air roof deck, an enclosed courtyard, facade enhancements, a redesigned staircase and more. Here is a look at the final, approved plans: Denver-based 4240 Architecture was selected as the architect of record for the project. The architecture group has worked on various projects, including resorts, multifamily units, commercial offices, residential homes, university buildings and more. Several of their projects have won awards, including recognition with Michelin Guide Keys. El Chapultepec said in a statement last month that Monfort Companies has not indicated interest in buying the rights to the 'El Chapultepec' or 'The 'Pec' names and said the company instead indicated they will create their own concept. As for the inside of the venue, Runyon told FOX31 in February that the planners are not ready to announce what the future holds for the inside of the space, ' but we're cooking up something big, and we're excited about it.' Runyon also told FOX31 that the planners hope to open up for next year and said there would be no better time to open doors than right in time for baseball season. However, the timeline and opening date depend on how quickly other parts of the process move. The team is now going through the final site development plan process and working to submit a Downtown Denver Development Authority application. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
