7 days ago
Can't empathize with the other political party? Just fake it.
We're often told that empathy is the solution to our bitter partisan divide. But after studying empathy for the past four years, I have different advice: Stop trying to empathize. Just fake it.
Polarization has skyrocketed over the past 40 years. The only thing we can seemingly agree on is our hatred of this trend. In the same Pew poll, 86 percent of Americans reported feeling that our politics have become more about fighting the other party than solving problems. Yet, we still lack a clear way forward.
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The issue is that we focus on the people in the other camp and critique who they are, not just their policies. When researchers analyzed a national
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So far, the proposed answer has been more empathy. Think of the onslaught of columns during the holiday season about surviving
But empathy isn't a faucet we can easily turn on or off. Studies show that we are predisposed to empathize with our own party members and withhold empathy for those on the opposing side. It's not impossible to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, but the
Here's where faking it comes in.
When we perceive someone as being empathetic, we tend to trust them more and reciprocate with kindness, studies show. In other words, we don't actually have to be empathetic — we just need the person we're talking to think we are.
ChatGPT is a perfect example. Despite lacking consciousness, its responses are eerily human — to the point that it can actually make people feel cared for and valued. By masterfully 'hearing' what we say, it leaves us feeling as if we've received empathy.
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Another example: doctors. It would be too mentally taxing to empathize during every visit. Instead, they are trained to use reflective language to make their patients feel they have received empathy. As stilted as it may seem, the approach works; a patient's level of satisfaction drastically improves when they perceive their doctors as empathetic.
Faking it isn't just nodding along and interjecting with an occasional 'uh-huh.' We need to be more explicit by mirroring language and validating sentiments. Even if we fervently disagree with someone, identify the larger issue behind their opinion: 'I know that X is infuriating, but...' Or establish some common ground: 'I'm also concerned about Y, yet...' As long as we don't allow our inauthenticity to transform into belittlement or dismissal, we will dial down the animosity.
This is a daunting task. But it is up to each of us to figure out how we can turn the temperature down in our communities. If we want to restore the fundamental tenets of respect and dialogue in America, it's time to be fake.
Myles Ringel is a recent graduate of Brown University, where he was a pre-med student and concentrated in Empathy in Practice. Send comments to magazine@
