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Refinery29
7 hours ago
- Business
- Refinery29
A Week In Boston On A $282,000 Household Income
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar. Today: a research manager who has a $282,000 household income and who spends some of her money this week on drain snakes. If you'd like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we're not able to reply to every email. Occupation: Research manager Industry: Government Age: 32 Location: Boston, MA Salary: $102,000 Joint Income & Financial Setup: ~$282,000. This includes my and my husband K.'s W2 incomes, rent from a rental property (which basically just covers the mortgage), and rent from a close friend who lives with us (she was away for most of the week that I kept this diary, but we all love spending time together). We also resell some clothes and furniture, which is inconsistent so we don't count it as income. K. and I have joint checking and savings accounts, as well as individual checking and savings accounts. Given our similar incomes, we contribute the same amount to all our joint accounts. Assets: We have joint and personal checking accounts (totaling $1,805) and joint and personal HYSAs (totaling $13,120). My additional personal accounts are: traditional IRA: $67,295; 457(b): $42,000; taxable brokerage: $29,227; Roth IRA: $21,078; and ~$35,000 in a pension account that I don't have access to yet. K. has ~$180,000 across his 401(k) and Roth IRA. We also own two homes together (~$900,000 each), a car (~$34,000 value), and a motorcycle (~$15,000 value). We have mortgages/loans on all but the motorcycle. We also have a 529 plan for our toddler ($2,380), but do not count this toward our assets. Debt: $1,244,000 — this is mostly mortgages, plus a $33,000 car loan, ~$70,000 in student loans, and ~$1,000 in hospital payment plans. Paycheck Amount (Biweekly): $4,940 (our salaries, minus retirement and health insurance). We also receive $4,900 in rent monthly. Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $3,700 for mortgage plus HOA for a four-bed/three-bath home (increasing soon to $4,050, due to an escrow shortage — proof that your mortgage amount can fluctuate!). Loan Payments: Home #2 mortgage: $3,300; student loans: $480; car payment: $1,000. Child Care: $500 (we are lucky to have child care support from a family member, Z.). Gas & Electric: ~$130 Phones: $95 (we also pay for Z.). Internet: $113 Pet Insurance: $88 Dog Food: $70 529 Plan: $50 Compost: $20 Subscriptions: $45 (Netflix, Disney Plus, dog chip, Apple storage, misc.) My Pension Contribution: $820 My 457(b) Contribution: $500 K.'s 401(k) Contribution: $732.92 Health/Dental/Vision Insurance: $800 for health (for the three of us; comes out of K.'s paycheck); dental/vision is $12. Medical Payment Plans: $120 My Gym: $60 (K. pays for his gym yearly in a lump sum). Donations: $52.50 (I pay for this). Support For Family Member: $10 (K. pays for this). Yearly Expenses Car Insurance: $1800 Motorcycle Insurance: $225 (K. pays for this). Water Heater Maintenance: $250 Amazon Prime: $69 Engagement Ring Insurance: $123 (I pay for this). Credit Card: $95 Costco Membership: $60 Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? To be honest, I didn't realize there was another option. My parents both have degrees from their home country so they talked about the importance of education, and I always did well in school, so it felt like a natural path for me. I went to an expensive private university and received significant financial aid along with a lot of local and national scholarships, which covered almost all of my tuition, room, and board. I don't remember exactly but think I may have left college with $10,000-$15,000 in loans, which I paid off as quickly as possible. I also received my master's for free while working as a research assistant and receiving a stipend. Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? We shopped at secondhand stores, bought mostly sale items, and always used coupons at grocery stores. I think our conversations were mostly about the need to work hard, not overspend, and look for discounts. We didn't talk about investing until I was in grad school (when I prompted my parents about it) and as a result I ended up putting my savings in CDs for about five years — I wish I had known to invest it in index funds instead! Looking back, I was so naïve about money growing up. I assumed anyone who had a full-time job was able to pay for their necessities and that people picked careers based on their talents and interests rather than the income potential. I was very anti-money, anti-spending until sometime in my mid to late 20s. I don't know why it took so long for reality to hit. What was your first job and why did you get it? My parents wanted me to focus on academics growing up, so I wasn't allowed to work during high school. My first job outside of occasional babysitting was at a YMCA camp the summer before college. Did you worry about money growing up? My parents tried to give my siblings and me everything we needed and most of what we wanted, and we had a great middle-class life. But I'm sure some of the priorities they had for us — like regular travel, enrolling us in sports and other activities, and giving us generous gifts for birthdays and Christmas — brought on financial stress. My parents also have different money habits and earnings, and we experienced the tension of this. I knew they were frequently stressed about money, so I always tried to add as little financial stress as possible. This manifested as me trying to be fiercely self-sufficient, not asking for extras like attending school-organized trips, spending my senior year of high school applying to every possible college scholarship I was eligible for, and compulsively saving even through my mid 20s (doing things like going to restaurants with friends and getting only water, which I now understand were quite extreme habits that made others uncomfortable). Do you worry about money now? Recovering from a scarcity mindset and lifelong cheapness, I actively remind myself that although my frugality served me well earlier in my life and I'm proud of it, I no longer need to live that way. With that said, I worry in some ways. My husband K. and I have an income and net worth that look great on paper, but we live in a high cost of living area, don't have a lot of wiggle room in our expenses at the moment, need to do some major home renovations, and expect to financially have to provide for one or both sets of our parents as they get older. In addition, we want money to be a tool rather than a stressor, in contrast to how we both grew up. All of the above leads us to want higher-paying jobs, but this is complicated by today's job market and figuring out if it makes sense to give up our current flexibility for more demanding jobs (while we have young kids). I'm also interested in pursuing FIRE (financial independence retire early) to relieve ourselves of financial stress and get to make choices like taking a sabbatical from work and working part-time before traditional retirement age, but I know this requires more income. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I was financially responsible for myself when I graduated college in that I paid for all my expenses myself (besides staying on my parents' health insurance until age 26). However, I lived with family for eight months when I struggled to find a job after grad school. Since finding that first post-grad job at age 24, I've been entirely financially responsible for myself. K. and I are both financial safety nets for our families, and we are each other's. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. My parents unexpectedly gifted us $10,000 for our wedding, which covered the cost of our wedding. Day One: Saturday 5:30 a.m. — My 1.5-year-old toddler, Q., wakes up crying. Guess it's an early day, so we play, have breakfast of over-medium eggs with hummus and toast, and get ready for the day. 9:30 a.m. — Walk to the park with my husband (A.), Q., and our dog and stop at Dunkin' on the way. K. gets a sandwich-hash-brown-coffee combo and I get a chai latte. I'm not sure why I thought this was a decent choice, but the almond milk and chai syrup combination was not doing it for me. I generally try hard not to be wasteful, but after a few sips I had to dump this out. In my defense, we rarely order from here! $10.47 10 a.m. — Q. has been on a one-nap schedule for a few weeks but she falls asleep in the stroller during our walk. A perfect sunny day for an outdoor nap! We alternate throwing a tennis ball for our dog and playing on the playground with Q. once she wakes up, then head home. 1 p.m. — Have lunch and put Q. down for another nap, then cuddle and nap with K. Much-needed naps for everyone! 6 p.m. — Head to a concert with a friend while husband puts Q. to bed. Venmo my friend for my ticket. $50 9:30 p.m. — The concert is fantastic! I head back home when it finishes and am finally in bed at 11:30 p.m. after a great day. I haven't done many evening activities with friends since Q. was born, so tonight feels extra special. Daily Total: $60.47 Day Two: Sunday 6:30 a.m. — I meet a friend and her toddler at a café, and we catch up while our kids play, messily (but happily) drink smoothies, and wave to strangers. We get smoothies and matcha. $20 10:30 a.m. — Q. takes a surprise nap in the car so I drive around and head to the hardware store, sitting in the car until she wakes up. When she's awake we go in to pick up paint. $25.49 12 p.m. — Eat lunch with Q. (lentil stew with rice) and walk with her to a new playground. Later in the afternoon, I put Q. down for a nap, clean up the house, and do an online Pilates class. 5 p.m. — Feed Q. dinner. Today it's a quinoa and beef meatball, broccoli and carrot soup, and strawberries. I like to batch prep and freeze various meals and snacks, so meals are easy to put together (things like turkey meatballs with spinach, rice with beans and beef, chicken soup, noodles with a mixed vegetable sauce, oatmeal bars, veggie and cheese muffins). 6:30 p.m. — Start the bedtime routine, giggling with Q. about belly buttons and funny sounds. Put Q. to bed while K. picks up Mediterranean plates (one falafel, one meat) for us from a local restaurant, za'atar, spinach boreka, and baklava. We hang out for the rest of the night in between cleaning up from the day and taking our dog out. $59.94 Day Three: Monday 6:30 a.m. — Got to sleep in today, thanks to Q.'s wake-up time! Hang out in bed with K., Q., and Q.'s requested pre-breakfast snack (bread). An hour later, Q. and I make a smoothie using cottage cheese, strawberries, kiwi, and pear. She munches on a bit of everything and puts things in the blender. She loves doing this recently, which makes me happy because I really want to make cooking fun for our kids! We have our smoothie with pancakes for breakfast. 8:30 a.m. — Log in for work when our family member, Z., arrives to help with child care. We're grateful to have Z.'s support on weekdays while we work full time. Work a bit, then take our dog out for a quick walk. 10:30 a.m. — Take a rare couple of hours off during the day and head to a 90-minute massage with foot reflexology! K. had found this fantastic place on Groupon that has a more relaxing, upscale vibe than my usual favorite in Chinatown. Get a prenatal massage (my first!) and feel pleasantly surprised at the good pressure my massage therapist uses. The Groupon was previously paid for, so I add tip. $26 2 p.m. — Back home for lunch and another couple hours of work updating interview guides, designing study protocols, and planning focus groups. K. buys something on Amazon. $7.49 5:30 p.m. — Log off and quickly prep Q.'s dinner. K. feeds her while I take our dog out and put away laundry. Then K. heads to the gym, I give Q. a bath, we play as she learns to give kisses and thinks it's the funniest thing ever, and we read books and sing songs. She falls asleep at 7:15 p.m. K. stops at the grocery store to buy sliced cheese, tomatoes, cookie dough, bananas, and clementines. $33.26 8 p.m. — Scroll on my phone for too long but eventually mobilize for an online Pilates class. I'm loving Move with Nicole and Pregnancy and Postpartum TV on YouTube lately! 9 p.m. — Prep Impossible Burgers and salad with K. and eat together while chatting about friendships we've built across different phases of our lives, and how special it is to have friends from childhood who've been part of our most awkward times. Sleep at 10:30 p.m. Daily Total: $66.75 Day Four: Tuesday 6 a.m. — Q. cries and calls for us but stays laying down. This has been new for the past week as she adjusts to her new one-nap schedule. We get her at 6:20 a.m. and she eats a banana and tangerine in our bed, and we all play together, read, and listen to music. There's a whole lot of 'Wheels on the Bus' and 'Baby Shark' in our lives lately! 7:30 a.m. — Prep tomato scrambled eggs with cheese in a tortilla for our breakfast while Q. munches on an apple in her kitchen tower next to me. We eat together then get ready for the day (lotion, get dressed, brush teeth and hair). Z. arrives at 8:30 a.m. so I get dressed, log in for work, and clean up the kitchen from breakfast. 9 a.m. — Handyman arrives to fix some things in our bathroom; I spend a couple hours working. $200 11 a.m. — Take our dog for a walk while listening to the Financial Feminist podcast — one of my favorites! When I get back I chat with K. about HELOCs. We are planning on taking one out for needed home repairs on our rental property but aren't looking forward to the extra payments. I love the idea of a cash-out refinance to cover renovations, but we have a great mortgage interest rate right now and changing that unfortunately wouldn't make financial sense. 12 p.m. — Have a few meetings, and after a few hours take an unexpected nap. Unusual for me but much-needed during pregnancy! I'm right at the end of my first trimester, and the trend in my pregnancies seems to be major exhaustion in the first trimester. 5:30 p.m. — Prep Q.'s dinner and feed her (turkey meatballs, English muffin, tabbouleh, shredded carrots), then head to the gym! I was in a workout rut postpartum (motivated but uninspired, which led to unstructured workouts) but became focused and energized once I committed to sprint triathlon training. I did that for about three months before getting pregnant again (and endlessly tired and bloated), so my workouts are triathlon-lite. I run a few miles, getting a random nosebleed partway, then finish my workout with some weights. 8 p.m. — Stop at the grocery store on my way home to buy strawberries, zucchini, cabbage, beef patties, potato chips, and cheese. When I arrive home K. and I make burgers with salad and hang out. I plan most of our meals and aim to mix up what we eat for variety of nutrients and flavors, but we're having the same dinner as yesterday because it was good, easy, and healthy enough. $36.07 10 p.m. — Take our dog out and shower while K. cleans up, and we head to bed at 10:30 p.m. Daily Total: $236.07 Day Five: Wednesday 5 a.m. — Q. cries and we watch her on the monitor hoping she'll fall back asleep. She finally falls back to sleep around 5:45 a.m. We get her at 6:30 a.m. and she hangs in bed with us while reading and eating a banana. 7 a.m. — Get ready to head into the office, struggling to find clothes that don't show I'm pregnant. This is especially hard in my second pregnancy, as I'm showing much earlier than in my first. 8 a.m. — Have breakfast with Q. (a smoothie with strawberries, Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and chia seeds) with peanut butter toast. K. finds a new leak in our basement from the tankless water heater (we had the yearly maintenance done last week), so we'll have to re-contact our plumber. 8:45 a.m. — Head to work on the bus then the T (Boston's subway). This trip costs $2.40, but I use my pre-loaded Charlie card (Boston's commuter card). 9:30 a.m. — Arrive at work, grab a seltzer, and crank out some work for a few hours. I munch on TJ's dark chocolate-topped rice cakes while working. 12 p.m. — Pizza at work! 1 p.m. — Add some money to my Charlie card and take the T to my ultrasound and OB appointment; K. drives to meet me there. $20 2:30 p.m. — We have a long ultrasound in which the tech had a lot of challenges finding what they needed, followed by a meeting with the OB. We got some inconclusive news: a high nuchal translucency (NT) result which could indicate potential genetic 'abnormalities'. I remind myself that the result could easily have been due to human error or the baby being in a strange position, and that we don't know anything for sure yet. We pay for parking. $8 4:30 p.m. — Stop at the store for drain snakes, a kids' birthday card, and two boxes of Perfect bars. $33.97 5 p.m. — Play with Q., do another half-hour of work, and prep Q.'s dinner. Our roommate arrives back from a trip so we all sit with Q. as she eats, listening to music and trying to keep her from throwing food and dumping out milk. K. and I usually switch off going to the gym while the other starts the dinner and bedtime routine with Q, but neither of us is in the mood to work out after our weird news so we agree to take it easy and get takeout. 7:30 p.m. — Shower while K. picks up our food (bibimbap and taro boba for us to share). We eat while watching a bit of a Korean drama. $40.94 9:30 p.m. — Take our dog out while K. does the nightly clean-up of the house. Before bed, I write a message to my OB requesting a repeat ultrasound. Daily Total: $102.91 Day Six: Thursday 6:40 a.m. — Q. sleeps in so we do too! My cute fam plays while I get ready for work. 7:15 a.m. — Play with Q., teach her how to beat an egg for the French toast we're having this morning (with yogurt, peanut butter, and kiwi), and eat together. I head to work after Z. arrives, taking the bus and T. 11 a.m. — Have some meetings and schedule follow-up prenatal care. My OB agreed to a repeat ultrasound but suggested we meet with a genetic counselor anyway. 1 p.m. — I break for lunch, eating the quickest meal I could come up with this morning after not prepping a lunch last night: a cheese sandwich, Chobani yogurt, and banana. Go to a meeting and work on a bunch of collaborative documents. 3:30 p.m. — Leave work to finish out the day at home, first stopping at Trader Joe's to buy crackers, cheese, tulips, chickpea pasta, vegan ground beef, pasta sauce, potatoes, dill, cottage cheese, yogurt, peanut butter, salmon, firm tofu, unsalted sardines (so stinky but Q. loves these), and a lemony arugula salad. $74.50 4:45 p.m. — Get home, hug Q., and have fun unloading groceries with her help. K. gets home a half-hour later from the gym after stopping at a store on the way home for oat milk, cheese, and crackers. He takes Q. on a walk while I prep dinner: baked marinated salmon, potatoes with dill, and salad, then Q. has her dinner. $21.36 6:30 p.m. — K. registers us for a 5k next month and starts the bedtime routine with Q. while I clean up the kitchen. $80 7:30 p.m. — I take our dog for a walk and do a short Pilates class. It's a lower-impact workout than I usually lean towards, but I'm okay with that. We have dinner around 8:30 p.m. while watching Reacher, then shower and head to bed. Daily Total: $175.86 Day Seven: Friday 5:30 a.m. — Q. wakes up crying. We wait to see if she settles herself. She doesn't, so K. spends time with her until 6 a.m. while I sleep in, then they join me in bed with an apple. 7:30 a.m. — Q. and I have a breakfast of eggs scrambled with onion and butter, along with toast and grapes. 8:30 a.m. — Z. arrives and I get started with work. I have a few meetings, drink coffee, and walk our dog while talking to my OB about how they have confidence in the results of the initial ultrasound and don't expect a different result in a repeat ultrasound — but that we are welcome to do it regardless. 12:30 p.m. — Take a break to chat with K., eat a quick lunch, schedule a few medical appointments, and have therapy. I meet every other week with my therapist and spend a lot of today talking about family relationships and the weight of expectations that leave me feeling like I'm both doing things wrong, and unsure of what I genuinely want for myself. $50 2 p.m. — K. and I meet with a genetic counselor and have a better understanding of what the ultrasound results mean, the high probability that everything is 'normal' despite the higher NT, and the options of procedures that can give a definitive result. Return to work. 5 p.m. — I cook a Korean stew (soondooboo using The Korean Vegan's recipe) with rice for dinner while K. and Q. go for a walk. When they return, I sit with Q. while she eats then give her a bath. 8:30 p.m. — We have dinner, then I write a check for our friends' child's first birthday that we'll gift along with a cute aquarium toy we had purchased a few weeks ago. $30 10 p.m. — Order flowers for my grandma's birthday in a couple weeks. This cost will be split three ways, but I cover it for now. $90 Daily Total: $170 The Breakdown Conclusion 'This diary is a pretty standard representation of a week for our family, with reasonable and unsurprising expenses. It's not every week we sign up for races, go to concerts, or buy birthday gifts, but the bulk of our day-to-day expenses tend to be pretty basic: groceries, things for our home, some takeout. Although our weekly spending didn't surprise me much, the tallying up of assets and debts was new for me, as I have only ever done that on an individual level. Looking at our recurring expenses in this format was interesting, too; I'd love to cut down on those to have more flexibility day-to-day and in planning for our future, but I'm conscious of not returning to my ultra-frugal ways and creating unnecessary strictness in our spending! 'As a quick update on the pregnancy pieces of this diary, we're grateful that all turned out normal after our genetic testing!'
Refinery29
10 hours ago
- Business
- Refinery29
Money Diary: A Wedding Cake Designer On £0
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last penny. Our Money Diaries submission process has changed. If you would like to submit a diary, please use our new form here. If you would rather email us, please send a bit of information about you and your financial situation to moneydiary@ We pay £100 for each published diary. Apologies but we're not able to reply to every email. This week:"I'm a 42-year-old mum from Nottingham. I live with my partner and our three-year-old. I'm a business owner in the wedding industry but have been looking for employed work for over a year now, so I haven't committed to working with any clients this wedding season, as I thought I would have found a job by now. Currently my partner is paying the bills, I often sell clothes on Vinted, do surveys and product testing for some extra cash and do some ad hoc work or short notice weddings where I can to help towards our outgoings." Occupation: Wedding Cake Designer Industry: Wedding Age: 42 Location: Nottingham Salary: £0 Paycheque Amount: £0 Number of housemates: Two (partner G, daughter L). Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing costs: None, as the house was purchased outright. I was very lucky to be able to do this (before I was with my partner). Loan payments: None, I still have a student loan, but I'm not earning enough to repay this currently. Savings?: I have some savings which are dwindling as I use them currently towards my day-to-day spending. I have around £30,000 across my savings and stocks and shares ISA and then £2,000 in my lifetime ISA. The stocks and shares ISA was performing really well but has taken a massive plunge since Trump got in power and the financial world has imploded! I'm hoping to use my investments towards a wedding and a deposit for a family home in the near future. Pension?: I have pensions from previous jobs and I have a Lifetime ISA that I pay into when I feel able to. I worry about not having enough of an income when retired, as I didn't start contributing to work pensions until my late 20s. It didn't seem very important at the time but I wish I did all of the schemes offered now. Utilities: £77.56 heating/hot water, £70 electric, £57.80 water, £23 internet. All other monthly payments: £22.63 phone, £27.03 life insurance, £17.16 appliance insurance, £15 bank insurances, £140 council tax, £16.62 road tax, £150 nursery fees, £74.39 gym membership for me and my daughter, £5 therapy (I go weekly). I also usually spend about £70 a month on diesel and pay annually for car insurance, home insurance and road tax. Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Yes, I did an undergraduate degree. I didn't pay tuition fees as my mum was on a low income. My mum gave me around £2,000 to pay for my first year's accommodation. I had saved some money specifically for uni and I had a part-time job throughout. I took out student loans but I mostly lived off my earnings and savings and was able to save my loans which I invested for a short time, then used towards a car and house deposit. More recently I did a few short courses that are master's level (that were free). Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? We didn't really talk about money growing up. I was aware we didn't have loads of it, but I never felt like we went without. My mum would save for anything she wanted and never had loans or got anything on finance. She would use a credit card for expensive purchases for the added protection and pay it off in full when it was due. I definitely took on her approach to money in this sense. I wish I had been taught about pensions and investing, but I have learned about these more recently and have set up a Junior S&S ISA for my daughter. If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house? Although I lived away from home during uni, home was still home and I went home a lot as it wasn't far. I moved out of my home and into a council flat when I was about 23. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life? I became financially responsible for myself when I went to university at 19. Mum would help sometimes, but I paid my own bills and other expenses. Currently my partner covers the bills and gives me money for food shopping as it's me who mostly does this, but I dip into my savings for everything else. What was your first job and why did you get it? My first job was babysitting at 12. I was paid £5 a night. I always had my own money from this point as we didn't get pocket money. Do you worry about money now? I try not to worry about money but I know my savings won't last forever. We don't have enough for regular meals out and do a lot of 'free' days out and search for deals, but we have everything we need. I try to make sure we are stocked up with food and toiletries so ensure we have everything when funds are low. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? I got £25,000 from my mum's life insurance when she passed away almost 10 years ago and split this with my sibling. I also got around £10,000 when my grandma passed away a few years ago, which I wasn't expecting at all but has been a lifeline recently. I feel very lucky to have been gifted this money, but I'd rather have my mum and grandparents, so I almost feel guilty having this money too. Day One 7:05 a.m. — Woke up with G and L in our bed so I'm squashed. Go to the bathroom and lie in her bed. I enjoy the quiet, check my phone and think about today's plans and what needs doing around the house. 8 a.m. — Throw on some clothes and drive to the local shop, pick up milk and other bits, £12.05. I then get cash from the cash machine to get fruit and veg from the market. I spend £13.30 on produce and £5 on flowers (feels frivolous buying flowers). I feel like I'm food shopping every other day lately and always trying to make our money stretch but still eat good quality food. 9:15 a.m. — Back home and I unpack the shopping. G puts some washing on and goes to the gym. L is upstairs watching TV whilst I sort the food out, then iron some clothes for us. L comes down and we have a cuddle, she asks for a snack and chills whilst I finish pottering about. 12:30 p.m. — I make lunch for us all, pasta and cheese for L, tuna pasta salad for G, tinned sardines, salad and potato salad for myself. L tries a dairy-free strawberry yoghurt I got this morning but gives up on it so I eat it myself and give her some dried strawberries and a couple of shortbread biscuits. L is not a fan of most fresh fruit. 2:30 p.m. — We head to a fair. G pays for all but one of the rides for L, which I get, £3. Then go to the cemetery and leave some flowers for my mum and grandparents. 5:30 p.m. — Get home and put dinner on, a frozen Chinese chicken curry and some salmon I marinated earlier with ginger and teriyaki sauce. I also put some frozen vegetable spring rolls and wontons in the air fryer and cook some egg fried rice. After dinner, L asks for a coconut ice cream so I give her the last Raffaello from the freezer. 6:30 p.m. — Kitchen is tidy and I sit and scroll and have some mini pancakes topped with chocolate sauce. Ready to relax. G disappeared after he took the laundry off the line so his dinner is still out. Turns out he had a nap. 8:15 p.m. — L is asleep so I get ready for bed and watch Netflix until I fall asleep. G is in the lounge, probably watching football shows. Total: £33.35 Day Two 7 a.m. — L wakes me to take her to the toilet then we both get in bed. She plays on her tablet and I pick up my phone and check my notifications. I reply to a couple on Vinted, a cheeky offer on our Tiba & Marl changing bag. I send a counteroffer but no response. I also message about a wedding dress I've bought (we're not engaged yet but we are actively wedding planning). G must have fallen asleep in front of the TV as he's not in our bed. 8 a.m. — I check flight prices for Zagreb. £241 for the three of us, but I still need to look at our budget before deciding. My friend has invited us to visit as she lives over there. 9 a.m. — We're all up. G sorts out his and L's breakfast and I put on a R&B Spotify playlist from the 90s for the vibes. Jodeci, D'Angelo, Angie Stone — perfect. Light some palo santo. Check the fridge, do a little tidy up in there and make a mental note of what needs using first. Make my breakfast — Greek yogurt, granola, and a Rooibos tea. G goes to the gym. 10:15 a.m. — Try and get ahead on the week with some meal prep — a Spice Tailor Biryani and a simple pasta dish as two lunch dishes. Soak some kidney beans and black beans for spicy bean burgers. Make a cake with L. 12 p.m. — My partner is back and he got some bits from Tesco. I didn't finish my tea and it's now cold. Dish up some pasta for L and G for lunch. 1:40 p.m. — After faffing, cleaning and tidying the house, L insists we make icing for the cakes — lemon icing and sprinkles. L and I then sit and eat cake and they're better than the last time we made them. G has vacuumed the house top to bottom. 2 p.m. — We're all out in the garden, sowing some seeds for flowers and having a good tidy up. The kids from next door come and play with L. Just as we're packing up to go in, my fiancé proposes. Totally out of the blue! The ring is beautiful, I'm shocked and I'm messy but ecstatic! Make a few calls and send some messages, a trickle of replies throughout the evening. 7 p.m. — We eat dinner and have some cake together. Speak to family and friends about the proposal. 8 p.m. — We all get ready for bed. 9 p.m. — In bed with a bottle of champagne. I'd been waiting for years to open this Laurent-Perrier champagne. Sit chatting for a while, taking champagne and ring pics and discussing wedding plans: we've already decided on a destination wedding and picked a venue, but haven't booked anything yet. Bit of Netflix and chill. 12 a.m. — Fall asleep. Total: £0 Day Three 6:55 a.m. — Wake up squashed. L has made her way into our bed during the night yet again. I get up, pick up my phone and use the bathroom. Lots of notifications from family and friends about our engagement. I get a charge from Virgin Wine on PayPal so I look into this and send them an email. I must've unknowingly subscribed to something when I got three bottles for £12 with an email offer a while ago. 7:20 a.m. — L has found me and we sit and chat on her bed for a little bit, then go down for breakfast when my fiancé gets in the shower. I sort out her breakfast and put the dishes away and prepare our lunches. I put some washing on. Get an email from Virgin Wines and they refund me. 10:20 a.m. — Hang out the washing, then head to the gym. Check L into the childcare, go to reformer Pilates and get changed quickly after. 12:30 p.m. — Leave the gym and head to Derby for a fossil hunting activity. Meet my friend and her two kids there and the children all have a great time. We walk around the shopping centre for the dinosaur trail and stop off at Popeye's for lunch. Get a kids meal for L that I eat the leftovers of as I'm not hungry, £2.99. I also pay £1.25 for a little ride for the kids and £2 for parking. 3:45 p.m. — Leave Derby and stop off at The Company Shop on the way home. So many tempting buys, but I restrain myself from buying too much, £10.80. 5:45 p.m. — Get home, unpack everything: gym kit, lunch boxes and shopping. 6:25 p.m. — G gets home from work as I'm starting dinner, lamb koftas, couscous, salad and houmous. Delicious. We all eat, chat about our days then G does most of the tidying up after dinner, whilst I call Ryanair about summer 2026 flights for our wedding. Thirty minutes later we give up as still no one has picked up. 7 p.m. — I book a table at Pizza Hut for tomorrow's lunch as my bestie is visiting (kids eat free). I get involved in the kitchen and we all have a bit of cake before G takes the little one to bed. 9 p.m. — Get ready for bed and relax watching YouTube vlogs. Forgot about the washing on the line, G takes it in. Total: £17.04 Day Four 4:25 a.m. — L is in our bed with arms and legs all over so I get up, go to the bathroom and get in her bed, eventually fall asleep again. 7:10 a.m. — L wakes me to help her go to the toilet. We whisper sweet nothing's to each other, sincere 'I love yous' and 'you've got smelly trumps'. We both erupt laughing and talk about the day ahead. She gets back in her bed so I get back in mine and lay with G until he gets up. 10:30 a.m. — My fiancé(!) goes to work, I pack up some bits for the day, water, snacks, jackets and cake for my friend. 11 a.m. — My bestie arrives and we head to the planetarium in my car. I'm excited (paid for the tickets a few weeks ago). 1:10 p.m. — Arrive at Pizza Hut early for our table and we have to wait it out and keep the kids entertained. We all have the buffet. Another friend joins us too as we have a nice time having a catch up and a bit of wedding talk over the mayhem of the children. We all order from our phones, our share was £11.99. 4 p.m. — Arrive home and my bestie and her boys leave shortly after. Hang out the washing. Chill out with L, check socials and emails and sign up for a product testing that I will get a £15 gift card for doing. 6:30 p.m. — I make dinner. I'm stuffed so I won't eat but I guzzle a bottle of sparkling water. L asks for plain spaghetti but only eats two forkfuls. I get two deck chairs out of the shed and the oil lamps and light those to create a nice ambience outside. I pour G and I rum and ginger ales and we sit outside with L and some music. 9 p.m. — I put L in bed; she fell asleep on me outside. We feel drops of rain and G brings the washing in. I make us both a honey and ginger tea and we sit and chat inside for a while. We talk about the job interview I have next week and he helps me prepare. 10:30 p.m. — We both get ready for bed. I check my stocks and shares ISA, the interest seems to be going back up after a massive slump over the last few months. I'm hoping to pay my half of the wedding with the interest. We watch Black Mirror and I fall asleep halfway through. Total: £11.99 Day Five 5 a.m. — I'm on the edge of the bed so I go into my daughter's room again. Check my email and see she's got into the school we were hoping for, yay! Flight prices are still high but we've found flights for the day before are much cheaper so I ask my friend if she doesn't mind having us an extra night. I wait for her reply. I text my brother 'happy birthday' and fall back to sleep. 7:45 a.m. — L wakes me up and she puts the TV on. I get back in my own bed and she follows me! Thought I might get a bit more sleep but no chance. 12 p.m. — Gym time! Check L into childcare and head to yoga. Shower, change. Collect L and we sit in the cafe and eat our lunches: I have a spicy bean burger, salad and the last bit of potato salad and a Koko yoghurt. L has soft cheese and crackers, carrot sticks, dried strawberries and a piece of Rice Krispies cake we made last week. We both drink water. 1:30 p.m. — Check little one back in for a party. Get a dirty chai latte from the cafe, free with a rewards code. Sit in the lounge, read the job spec and look at the company website. I also do some work on our wedding invitations on my laptop. We bought a template on Etsy so we're filling in the details. 3 p.m. — We head home via Heron Foods and pick up milk, cheese, cobs and a few other bits. Give in without hesitation to some items L has picked up. I don't feel like we got much, but still spent £16.40. Get home and unpack gym kit, lunch boxes, shopping and stick the dishwasher on. We try to use appliances during the day to make the most of our solar panels. Chill out with little one and play some games. 5:30 p.m. — Prepare dinner. I make sweet potato fries/wedges, chop up some lettuce and slice some cheese for our spicy bean burgers. G doesn't get home until later so L and I eat. 7:30 p.m. — Bathtime for L. I let her splash around for a while, whilst I tidy the bedrooms and sort myself out for bed. Give her a wash, get her pyjamas on and put cartoons on for her whilst I have a shower. 9:30 p.m. — Chill with G in bed, talk about our days and fall asleep watching Netflix again. Total: £0 Day Six 7:20 a.m. — Get up with L, go and sit in the lounge and let G sleep in peace. It looks like it will be a beautiful day; it's so sunny already. L cries because I'm not putting the TV on to CBeebies. Have a look at some galleries that a photographer we like has emailed us and reach out to book a video call with him. 9:30 a.m. — Postman arrives with a bezel for my Frame TV. Found this on Facebook marketplace, my friend picked it up for me close to where she lives and she posted it to us. 10 a.m. — Get me and L ready, G goes to work. I pack L's lunch and water for us both. 11:30 a.m. — Head to the gym and pick up my wedding dress and Sweaty Betty gym top from the Inpost lockers. So excited! Drop little one off to childcare and have a peek at the dress. Do my yoga class, then pick up L and head home. 1:20 p.m. — Get home, unpack and take a quick shower. Try on the dress. It's stunning and it fits well! I'm saying yes to the dress! 1:30 p.m. — Scroll on Instagram and remember a book I wanted — The Flavour Thesaurus. Do a Google search and it comes up for £5.03 so I buy it. £8.30 with p&p. 2:30 p.m. — Head to a park and take L's scooter. Check my emails and I've received an enquiry for a wedding cake, I immediately respond! 4 p.m. — Arrive at my aunt's place, drop L off and go to the product testing. Pop to the shop for some chocolate, Comfort and pizza rolls, £10.06. 6:45 p.m. — After being at my aunt's place for a while, I decide I'm not cooking this evening and pick up Chinese food on our way home, £14.70. L falls asleep on the way home so I clean her up and put her in her bed. I set up the washing machine and eat in front of the TV as I'm too hungry to wait for G. I pay my friend for the bezel she picked up for me but send her a bit extra, £25. 7:50 p.m. — G is home, we have a chat and he eats and I go back to watch TV. It feels good that L is sleeping already. We book outgoing flights for Croatia and hope the return flights go down again. G pays. 11:30 p.m. — Forgot about the washing, so hang it all on the clothes horse inside, then go to bed. Total: £58.06 Day Seven 6:30 a.m. — Woken by L, we hang out until she's ready for breakfast. 9 a.m. — We go down for breakfast and L has her favourite cereals. I have toast and start tidying up things that have been left out of place over the week. 11:30 a.m. — G takes L with him to the supermarket and I get ready in peace. My hair takes a while to blow-dry and straighten. 1:30 p.m. — Arrive at a Thai restaurant for lunch. The in-laws (who live out of town) are treating us as an engagement celebration. We all have a really delicious lunch and some desserts. We all have a catch-up and talk about wedding plans as we haven't seen each other in a while. 4 p.m. — We're all back at ours and I get out some bubbly. We have a toast and they give us a lovely card. A couple of G's mates arrive and they go to a DJ EZ gig. I take my MIL upstairs and show her my wedding dress and I try it on. She agrees that it's beautiful too — it was originally about £2,000! My MIL says she would like to buy my veil and shoes. I feel a bit funny about it so we'll see! 6:30 p.m. — Everyone has left and L and I just relax for a while as it's been a hectic day. Neither of us are hungry so I make cheese and crackers and L has some milk before bedtime. 9 p.m. — She's asleep. I go and take the cups and plates downstairs and put the dishwasher on. It's my 43 rd birthday tomorrow, what a week to end the year. Lots to reflect on and loads to look forward to! We have a good life together and I keep that sentiment close to me even though we don't have plenty of money. The Breakdown Conclusion "As it was half term, there were more outings than usual, but I had paid for most of these in advance. I usually set a meal plan at the beginning of the week, too, but didn't do this and ended up having an unplanned takeaway and quite a bit of food still in the fridge at the end of the week. I'm not surprised that food is my biggest expense. I try to be a savvy spender/saver and buy the best quality, healthiest foods I can afford. I would also usually spend more time searching for paid work opportunities, but as I look after L during school holidays, this isn't prioritised. I'm already a conscious spender, but don't record my spending, so this highlighted what I actually spend and on what. As we work towards planning our wedding, I think we may try and have budgets for different things and record our spending, especially for wedding stuff. Also, I hope to be working very soon, so this will have a positive impact on our overall income as a family."
Refinery29
2 days ago
- Business
- Refinery29
Money Diary: A Head of Strategy On £112,000
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last penny. Our Money Diaries submission process has changed. If you would like to submit a diary, please use our new form here. This week:"I'm a 32-year-old professional working in Strategy & Transformation in the telecommunications industry, living in Greater Manchester. I moved to the Manchester area post-university and bought the house we live in now with my husband A, three years ago (selling the house we bought together when I was 25). He's 10 years older than me and also works in telecoms (spoiler: we met at work) but we no longer work at the same company. A has two teenagers from a previous relationship, who come to stay with us one night each week and every other weekend. I've worked for my current employer for six years and in that time, I've pretty much doubled my overall compensation package through a series of promotions and sideways moves to different departments. Also, in this time my employer generously supported my studying for an MBA which I completed at the end of 2023, so that has probably helped my career prospects too. When it comes to money, I would say I'm more of a saver than a spender, though when I do buy things I tend to buy decent quality. I'm quite low maintenance from a beauty perspective — no nails, lashes, tans, but last year when I was getting married and I spent a couple of hundred quid on nice Charlotte Tilbury makeup and splurged on some nice skincare at the start of the year.' Occupation: Head of Strategy Industry: Telecommunications Age: 32 Location: Greater Manchester Salary: £112k, with a £7k car allowance and a 25% bonus and a Long Term Incentive Plan (not vested yet). Paycheque Amount: £6,000 Number of housemates: Two — my husband A and dog Eddie (with two more, my stepkids M and J on a part-time basis). Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing costs: £2,265 between the two of us, which includes a £500 overpayment each month. We're on a fixed deal until January 2027. Loan payments: £0 Savings?: £29k Cash ISA, 2.5k Stocks and Shares ISA (pay in £250 monthly), £9.5k LISA (pay in £333 monthly to maximise £4k allowance), £6k Premium Bonds (adding £500 monthly), £6k joint savings for renovation (I put in £500 monthly, A pays in £100), £180 fun fund (we each pay in £50). I tend to top up the Cash ISA with any savings left from the end of the month. Pension? In various pots across my current and previous employers, I have about £130k. I contribute 10% and my employer matches that (the maximum they will match). I'm considering upping my contribution in the future for tax efficiency. Utilities: Jointly we pay £245 council tax, £235 gas and electric, £54 water, £64 pet insurance, £59 internet and TV, £29 life insurance, £29 home insurance, £15 TV license, £5.99 Netflix, £6.67 Amazon, £24 window cleaning, £11 Smol. I calculate our monthly expenditure on mortgage, joint savings, utilities, and groceries, regular payments e.g. dog walker, cleaning and we pay that into our joint account each month, in proportion to our earnings. All other monthly payments: £85 CrossFit, £60 gym and pool membership, £22.72 phone and £18 iPad, £0.99 iCloud storage, £50 regular donations to charity, £18 contact lenses, £16 Toastmasters. Subscriptions: £8.99 Apple TV, £4.95 local newspaper, £10 The Guardian, £7.99 Audible, £14.99 Spotify Duo. Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? I did my undergraduate straight from school, funded by the standard mix of loans and grants. I went to Oxford and at the time (and probably still now) there were grants available to me which reduced the amount of maintenance loan I had to borrow. I was also lucky to be one of the last cohorts paying £3k a year in tuition fees. My parents separated when I was a child and my dad started giving me the money he had given to my mum when I was growing up which I think was about £200 a month, which also really helped. In 2021, I started an MBA which was 75% funded by my employer, 25% funded by myself from savings, which I completed after a tough three years of part-time study on top of a full-time job. Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? As a young child, I don't remember going without, but neither were we flush with cash. We went camping rather than abroad for holidays, but my sister and I did all the hobbies and activities we wanted to. My parents divorced when I was around 9 or 10 and I learned much later that one of the many contributing factors to the end of their marriage was that when my dad was made redundant, he stopped paying the mortgage but didn't tell my mum. A few years later, my mum started a relationship with my stepdad, who was very comfortable and we moved in with him (and my mum stopped working). From that point on, I was very privileged in travelling to nice places and given a generous pocket money allowance. Reflecting on this later, I watched my mum lose her financial independence and I think this rubbed off on me — I always wanted to be able to pay my way and choose how to spend my money. If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house? I went away to university at 18, but came home for holidays. I moved out properly when I was 22 when I started a graduate scheme after my final year of uni. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life? 22. I moved out into a flat on my own for my grad scheme job. Two years later, I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) into his house, which he sold and we bought a house together when I was 25. By not paying rent to him for his mortgage (but splitting bills only) in that year I lived at his house, I was able to save for my contribution to the deposit. His contribution to the deposit on that first house was greater, so I like to think now I pay more, we're evening the score. What was your first job and why did you get it? When I was 16 I got a job at my local Starbucks — they were opening a branch in my town and were hiring loads of people. I was lucky to get a sweet eight-hour-a-week contract. I worked there until I went to university. I loved it — I didn't really spend much when I was that age, so the savings I had gave me a nice bit of buffer when I went to uni. Do you worry about money now? Yes and no. I mean I worry about a lot of things, but I'm super conscious that when we bought the house we live in now three years ago, we took all the equity out we could from the previous sale to fund extensive renovation work. Consequently, we have a massive mortgage, with about 27 years on the term. We still have renovations we want to finish on the house, mostly the garden, where the work required is not stuff we have the skills or time to complete. I am aware that I am earning extremely well (honestly, so much more than I ever expected). But I can't relax about it! Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? When I was about 23/24, my mum found an old savings account she'd set up when I was a baby, and there was a couple of thousand pounds in there which went in the house deposit fund. My parents and A's parents each gave us £1k as a wedding gift last year, which essentially funded a free bar at our reception. Day One 5:45 a.m. — Wake up before my alarm. Check the Premium Bonds prize checker app to see if I've won… I've not. I won £100 in February, but overall in the last year I've had a rubbish run of winnings. 6 a.m. — Go to the pool for a swim, get two kilometes done. Remember why I prefer swimming in the evening, which is not an option today, as it's always busier first thing in the morning. 8 a.m. — After showering, sticking a load of laundry on and putting the dishwasher on, I have a bowl of porridge. I also have the first of many cups of tea today, reading my book (We Are All Birds of Ugand a by Hafsa Zayyan). 8:30 a.m. — I log on to my work laptop. I mostly work from home, aside from when I have specific meetings. This week I've avoided having to travel to London, which I've had to do for a couple of days the last two weeks. Work covers my travel expenses and will put me up in a hotel, but being away from home is exhausting and I miss my husband and my doggo. 10 a.m. — I conduct a couple of interviews for a new role within my team. I am pretty pleased with the quality of the candidates, which is great as a couple of weeks ago I interviewed someone for a role and it was obvious within the first five minutes they weren't a fit, but I still had to progress with the whole interview. Only slight awkward moment was our dog walker arriving in the middle of one interview to pick up E for his weekly group dog walk. We have this booked in each week to cover travel but we leave it in even when I'm at home, as he loves it for the doggy socialising. I pay £13 for next week's walk now from the joint account. 12:30 p.m. — Break for lunch, hang the washing out on the line in the beautiful sunshine and make a halloumi, avocado and rocket wrap. I order a new shed from B&Q as we're getting some garden work done in a few weeks' time and the landscaper has agreed to assemble it for us, £331. I pay for this for now, but add it to the tab for all the garden spending which we'll settle between us when it's all done. 5:30 p.m. — We have the kids tonight and it's J's birthday today so when they get home from school, we open presents. 6 p.m. — After an afternoon of back-to-back calls on a random variety of projects, we set off to the Manchester City match as a birthday treat. A has bought all the tickets and we get a KFC drive-thru on the way as food choice at the stadium is poor. A pays. 7:30 p.m. — Finally get to our seats after terrible traffic and purchase brews and Haribo ready for kick off. A pays. 10:30 p.m. — Home and straight to bed after a rather stultifying match, but at least City won. Day Two 3:30 a.m. — Hear the dog barking, he wants to go out for a poo in the middle of the night, probably because we didn't take him out for his usual pre-bed walk round the block. 5:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off to get me up in time for my CrossFit class. Today's focus is upper body gymnastics, so lots of flailing around trying and failing to do muscle-ups, but I practise my one strict pull-up that I achieved a few weeks ago. 7:30 a.m. — Back from the class and decide to roast some rhubarb I have in the air fryer with a little sugar to pep up my yoghurt and granola. I see that the tomato seeds that I sowed on Sunday have germinated, which is very exciting to me. 9:30 a.m. — Spend most of my morning working through the FTE forecasting for our department for our long-range plan. This means looking at the next five to 10 years, seeing how it will change with some operating model changes we're planning. 12 p.m. — Take the dog for a walk in the sunshine, then eat some leftover soup and fresh bread that A made last night in the bread machine (game changer). 1 p.m. — I interview another candidate for a role. It becomes depressingly obvious that they haven't done even the most cursory of research on the company. For a senior strategy role this is a no go. 5:45 p.m. — After an afternoon of more project calls and debriefs on interviews, I warm up some leftover curry and rice. We have a strong Thursday night freezer meal routine, as let's be honest by this time in the week we're generally bored of cooking. 6:45 p.m. — Get the tram into Manchester for my public speaking club. Last year I started attending to develop my confidence in speaking, as I'd moved into a new role at work where this would be expected more of me. I pay £16 a month which I think is great value for the 2-3 evenings a month I attend. Tram is £4.90 for a return. 6:45 p.m. — Feeling a bit peckish and tired as I get into town, so I pick up a tea and chocolate chip cookie from Pret, £5.60. 10 p.m. — Hop on the tram home after a successful evening. I gave my prepared five-minute speech tonight, talking about my mum who likes to tell embarrassing stories about me. I win the vote for best speech, which is a first for me, so I'm well chuffed. Day Three 3:30 a.m. — Woke up in a panic, realising I hadn't changed my alarm to get up in time for my 6 a.m. gym class. 6 a.m. — Attend my third CrossFit class of the week, my kind of movements today with a heavy two rep squat clean where I get a PB. 8 a.m. — My calls for today start early. Catching up on a few things and see that one my team is doing a sponsored walk for charity, donate £50. 12 p.m. — Take the doggo for a windy walk and warm up some leftover chickpea soup from the freezer with a frozen paratha. 1 p.m. — My Friday afternoon is 1:1s with my team members, giving me food for thought about my proposed team structure. I've only been managing this team for a few months and I feel like I'm only scratching the surface. 5:30 p.m. — Get the tram into town to meet an old friend for dinner. We tend to meet up every couple of months for food and a catch-up. Tonight we go to Australasia, which was oddly quiet. I benefit from this by the waitress essentially offering me a free wine tasting so I can choose what wine I want. It comes to £4.90 for the tram and £52 for my half of dinner. 8:30 p.m. — Because we are old, rather than go on somewhere for more drinks, we go for a coffee afterwards at Haunt MCR (where have an even more middle-aged peppermint tea). My friend pays for the hot drinks, as I got the drinks last time. 9:30 p.m. — I head home on the tram not long afterwards, getting an Uber from the tram stop to home, £4.97. Day Four 8:30 a.m. — Wake up with no alarm, bliss. Enjoy a Saturday morning roll around with my husband. Afterwards, we go down for breakfast and do the weekly meal plan. We've been doing this for years now, as we do most of our fresh food shopping at our local covered market. It sounds a lot more bougie than it is — it's 80% old ladies coming in to buy a single slice of ham, but I love doing the shopping here rather than the supermarket. A goes this morning as he wants to nip into our local town to return something to a shop. £34 at the greengrocer, £27 at the butchers, £15 fishmongers, £12 deli. 10:30 a.m. — I walk the dog and do a few small jobs in the garden when I get back while the sun shines. 12 p.m. — Lunch of lasagne that I missed by being out for tea last night. A and I head over to a large garden centre where they have a greenhouse showroom. For my 30th birthday a few years back, my parents gave me £1k towards a greenhouse but we've only been able to afford to do the garden landscaping required this year after three years of house renovation. We wander round all the options and settle on a middle-range, beautiful greenhouse, which still feels extravagant. We get home, double-check the measurements and order online, £2,559 to be added to the garden reno tab, I pay. 5:30 p.m. — We're headed back to central Manchester tonight for a special family meal at Hawksmoor, an amazing steak place. My parents gave us vouchers for a meal and we decided to use it for a joint birthday celebration for J and A. We have sharing steaks and all the sides and it is delicious. I also enjoy spotting a few celebs there too (James Nesbitt). The total bill was £424 for the four of us, but with the vouchers comes down to £224. We have a 'fun fund' that A and I pay £50 each a month into, which we'll rinse to pay for this. Total: £2,871 Day Five 7 a.m. — Woke up naturally but feeling a bit anxious (wine with dinner?). Every month I do a goal reflection across different areas of my life: relationships, health, finances, and projects like my home, garden and allotment. They reflect on the prior month and set goals for the coming one. I do this with a brew and breakfast in bed this morning. 10:30 a.m. — I go to my group PT session with my gym friends. We've done this for the last couple of months and it's a really affordable way to get some more personalised coaching on things we're all working on like pull-ups, handstands and double unders. I have a breakthrough today with my first-ever headstand (I normally freak out a bit being upside down). I pay £45 for the three sessions we have planned. 12:30 p.m. — Come home to a roast chicken dinner lovingly prepared by A. Sit with a coffee for a bit before heading down to my allotment. I've had my plot for three years and I love it — it's about a five-minute drive from my house and I've spent a lot of time renovating the beds, putting new paths in and putting up a new shed. I spend about four hours here, as the weather is so lovely, building out beds, re-laying paving slabs for paths and planting out my seed potatoes. 6 p.m. — I log on to my work laptop for an hour or so to prepare for tomorrow and send an email to my manager about some reflections I have after my 1:1s on Friday afternoon. It's been on my mind all weekend so I feel better after setting it out in writing. 8 p.m. — A and I sit and finish off some cheese and crackers for tea, finishing off some pieces of lovely cheese we bought a couple of weeks ago. Perfect picky tea after a massive roast dinner earlier. 9:30 p.m. — Off to bed and read my book. Total: £45 Day Six 5:30 a.m. — Wake up for my gym class after tossing and turning, with work issues churning around my brain. I know this is as a result of logging on in the evening. Normally, if I weekend work, I try to do Sunday morning so at least I have the rest of the day to switch off! My class is okay, max height box jumps and a gross workout of medicine ball cleans. Some days you got it, some days you don't. 8 a.m. — Log on for my weekly planning session before the work week begins. 9 a.m. — Today's the day we communicate more broadly about the rollout of a project I've been working on for the last 12 months. Feels pretty momentous! Lots of large briefing calls and comms going out which is a bit nerve-wracking. 11:30 a.m. — Nip out to walk the dog in the sunshine as I've got a call at 12:30 p.m. Make a sandwich with leftover roast chicken and the lonely avocado that has been hanging about in the fridge for the last two weeks. 12 p.m. — Our cleaner arrives. Okay, it's completely a luxury, but A and I find that this is the way to save me having to constantly remind him when it was his turn to clean the bathrooms, which I hated. The house is spotless after a three hour clean, which we get fortnightly. I transfer £54. 2 p.m. — I Monzo my friend £40 for a wine tasting event she's booking us onto in a couple of weeks' time. 5:30 p.m. — A and I head down to the allotment so he can help me move the new shed into place, which he built last week. He picked up some guttering at B&Q for me this afternoon so we attach that and set up the water (but I already have to collect rainwater off the roof). The new shed is one of the final pieces of the puzzle for the allotment renovation I've been working on for pretty much the last two years so I am very excited. I transfer A £55 for the B&Q shop. 6:30 p.m. — Get home to find an unexpected parcel on the doorstep. It's a hamper from my manager as a thank you for my work on the project we were communicating about today, which is super nice. It includes a couple of bottles of wine and some snacky bits, which I stash for a future occasion. I cook some roasted vegetable pasta in the air fryer and enjoy a Becks Blue; the sunshine always makes me want a cold beer so this is a good substitute! 7:30 p.m. — Eat our tea on the sofa watching an episode of 1923 on Paramount as we have a free trial. We've binged all the Yellowstone series over the last few months! 9:30 p.m. — Head to bed to try and finish my book before sleep. Total: £149 Day Seven 5:30 a.m. — Wake up for my 6 a.m. class. It's bench press and upper body today. Feeling a bit weary — think I need to eat something before these classes! 8 a.m. — Sit with my porridge and cup of tea and start my new book. A asks me to transfer him my half of the holiday we're going on in June — we are headed for a week's all-inclusive to Marrakech. Send him £1,000. 8:30 a.m. — My morning starts by dialling into a customer meeting that my boss is attending in person in London. I feel slightly bad for a minute that I'm not there in person, but to be there for what ends up being a 70 minute meeting I would have had to stay over last night. 12 p.m. — As usual, walk the dog listening to a podcast. When I get back, I finish the rest of the chicken/avocado combo from yesterday and read Gardeners World. I think it's the nice weather and finally feeling like my allotment is in good shape, so I spend yet MORE money on garden stuff. I order asparagus crowns, raspberry canes, chilli and aubergine plants and a mystery veg plant selection. I promise myself that next spring when I have my greenhouse up and running, I'll be growing from seed, £76 including delivery. 5 p.m. — After an afternoon full of project calls, I leave my last call 10 minutes early to take the dog back for his checkup at the vet. A few weeks back, his recurring skin allergy issues flared up and he was on meds. Due to a significant error on our part a couple of years ago when we changed insurers, this condition is not covered by insurance. I'm working on how to resolve this, but for now I pay the £80 for the appointment and prescription fees (I will order his medication at an online pharmacy as it's much cheaper). 7 p.m. — Cook a delicious tofu and lemongrass larb with lettuce cups and sticky rice (the first time we've cooked this recipe and it's a definite do again). Call my parents for a catch up, then tootle off to bed with my book for an early night. The Breakdown Conclusion "Ouch! This was not a typical week in terms of expenditure, as I had a couple of unusual purchases that will be a once every 20 years kind of spend. I just received my annual bonus, which was pretty much on target for last year and we've been saving for our garden renovation for the last year or so. Likewise, this is the only holiday payment that I had left to make this year – the rest of our holiday travel and accommodation for 2025 breaks are already paid. Food and drink was a bit spendy, it's pretty rare I'd be out two nights on the trot but it's great to be able to celebrate special occasions with family. I enjoyed writing the diary, it does make me wonder if I should reclassify myself as a spender though!"
Refinery29
4 days ago
- Business
- Refinery29
A Week In A British Columbia Border Town On A $130,000 Salary
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar. Today: a counsellor who makes $130,000 per year and who spends some of her money this week on a blanket from The Bay. If you'd like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we're not able to reply to every email. Occupation: Counsellor Industry: Education Age: 36 Location: British Columbia border town Salary: $118,000 base salary, plus approximately $12,000 in private practice. Assets: RRSP: $68,000; TFSA: $57,000; emergency fund: $10,000; short-term savings (sinking funds for Christmas presents, car maintenance and insurance, travel): $3,000. Debt: $0 Paycheck Amount (biweekly): $2,865.17 (base salary); approximately $ 1,000/month for private practice work. Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $1,930 (rent). Loan Payments: $0 Renter's Insurance: $34.59 BCAA: $10.94 Netflix: $8.95 Cell Phone: $81.54 Life Insurance: $127.58 Disability Insurance: $138.51 Internet: $99.40 Spotify: $20.04 for a couple's membership that I share with my ex (this is working out surprisingly well — we are friends, but it feels like we'll share this membership forever, which I'm okay with). Donation: $50 (to a reproductive health clinic). Savings: $500 to retirement savings; $500 to tax-free savings account; $300 to emergency fund; and $450 to sinking saving funds ($100 to travel; $100 to car maintenance; $100 to car insurance; $100 to new car fund; and $50 to Christmas presents). Hydro: ~$80 (bimonthly; varies a little bit) Annual Expenses Professional Dues: $436 Costco: $130 Car Insurance: $1724 Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Yes, from my parents and myself. I did an International Baccalaureate program in high school and every one of my classmates went on to university. As a kid, I wanted to be an actress or a hairstylist but my mum told me that my dad would not allow it and wanted me to go to university. (I still contemplate being a hairstylist). Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? My dad was a chartered accountant but we didn't talk about money. I was generally a saver and would lend money to my mum, which continued into adulthood at different points. Both of my parents struggled with managing money effectively. What was your first job and why did you get it? I worked as a grocery store cashier when I was 15 and enjoyed it a lot! I still remember some of the PLU codes for fruits and veggies. Did you worry about money growing up? Yes, constantly. I worried about what would happen if my dad lost his job and whether there would be enough money for school. This never happened, but I worried constantly. Do you worry about money now? Yes, I still worry a lot. I live in a high cost of living area and although I make a good income and save as much as I can, I still feel behind. I identify as queer and have a female partner, so I think about the cost of fertility treatments if I have biological children (and I am currently on a waitlist to freeze my eggs). At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? 22 (when I graduated from university). Currently, I do not think my parents would be able to provide much financial support if I found myself in a situation where this was needed — and I would not want to ask. In a worst case scenario, I would cash out savings or draw from a line of credit. This was a big motivation behind purchasing disability insurance in addition to what I have available through my work. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received substantial support from my parents while attending university for my bachelor's degree (about $12,000 per year for four and a half years). This paid for half of my undergraduate degree. I paid the other half with various part-time jobs. Day One: Wednesday 6:50 a.m. — I wake up to the sound of my beloved cat, L., meowing for breakfast. We (cough, me) recently started portioning out her food because the vet says she is overweight. She does not like this and has been demanding breakfast earlier each day. After feeding my queen, I lay in bed on my phone for about an hour before dragging myself out of bed. I put on my 'Hold on, let me overthink this' shirt and a pair of black Zara jeans. Brush teeth quickly, wash face, deodorant and out the door. 9:30 a.m. — Arrive at a work meeting to discuss a challenging team situation from yesterday. A lot of people are still feeling it, including myself. I started a new job in December and I've been struggling with it. I've never made this much money before, but the work itself is slow and the emotional cost of the situation is getting higher. 12:30 p.m. — Leave the meeting site, which is conveniently near Costco. I go in with the immediate task of securing a hot dog ($1.56, thank you Costco for the affordable lunch). I walk around browsing and snapping up samples (most yummy is chocolate mini-eggs). I buy Japanese BBQ sauce that I've been looking for and a bag of Sour Patch bunnies, which will be a gift for someone, most likely my sister ($21.88). $23.44 1:30 p.m. — Arrive home for WFH afternoon. I set myself up outside on the patio and my chatty L. meows all of her feelings to the neighbours. I consider whether we need to find an animal communicator. We go inside for quiet time. 3:30 p.m. — My dad calls for a chat. He lives in a retirement home in another province and had to go into a care facility at a younger age (63) for significant physical health and mobility concerns. Cognitively, he is sharp as a tack and wants to talk politics, sprinkled with jokes about his day-to-day life at the retirement home. L. meows to say hi while I talk to him. After the call, we are back to emails. 5 p.m. — I shower off the day, and commence a Netflix marathon viewing of Temptation Island. Hello, reminder from my childhood glory days of reality TV. I think about how different it is now — no waiting a week for the next episode — and I think about how this impedes delayed gratification. 10 p.m. — I make a late-night Girl Dinner of a fried egg, toast, and apple with peanut butter. Dessert is nacho chips and salsa. Daily Total: $23.44 Day Two: Thursday 8:30 a.m. — Rise and shine from the couch (where I fell asleep watching Temptation Island). L. also slept in. Eat nacho chips and salsa for breakfast. Catch up on emails and messages. Work from home this morning and get distracted by cleaning the oven and microwave (for the first time since I cannot remember when). I try this cleaning product recipe (baking soda, dish soap, and hydrogen peroxide) and it is okay, but I don't think I'll make it again. 12:30 p.m. — Arrive at a coffee shop to meet my coworker for a meeting — except I arrive at the wrong location. Drive to the right coffee shop and arrive 15 minutes late with a huge line. No coffee, no cookie, but could this be a sign it's a zero spend day? (Yes, is the answer.) 1:30 p.m. — We check out one of our new office spaces and it has been beautifully decorated by the staff onsite. I am blown away by the shift in energy! 3 p.m. — I arrive home and am ready for lunch. I make two fried eggs, two toasts, stir-fry veggies and fries, plus a spinach, raspberry and banana smoothie. I am a better person after eating. 3:30 p.m. — See a message from my realtor that we can go look at a listing I'm interested in tonight at 6:30 p.m. Exciting! I continue messaging my coworkers and planning things for the week. 4:30 p.m. — The work day is done and I watch Miracles From Heaven on Netflix. So many feels. My sister texts that she is struggling and needs help (she is in another province with my nearly three-year-old niece). We FaceTime and chat through my niece's evening routine. We brush our teeth together and sing a song over the phone. I tell my niece to give my sis 'squeezes' (hugs) and I think this helps her feel better. 6:30 p.m. — Walk to the listing (an apartment down the street). The cherry blossoms are in full bloom! I like the unit and it's lovely in a lot of ways, but there is this feeling 'not quite' as I walk home. I will spend my life savings another day. 7:30 p.m. — Barbecue flavour chips seems like a responsible dinner. Yum. Take a bath, catch up on texts, and book a rental car for my visit to see family later in the month. 9 p.m. — Time for a 'proper' dinner: salami sandwich with mayo on sourdough bread. I start reading a new book (my goal is one book a month): Love At First Spite. Stave off urges to go get a McFlurry. Barely. Daily Total: $0 Day Three: Friday 7 a.m. — Wake up early because I have my last session of training this morning (EMDR — amazing training but emotionally activating). Brush teeth and run out the door. My coworker picks me up and I revel in being a passenger princess. We finish the training around 11 a.m. and drive to work. 12:30 p.m. — Lunch for a colleague's birthday. We eat sushi, takoyaki, and birthday cake. Big chat with my coworkers and then my coworker drives me home. 3 p.m. — I'm finished for the day and I take a nap to celebrate Friday. Wake up around 4:30 p.m. and go to the grocery store for lemonade, a pepperoni cheese stick, ice cream, and popcorn twists. I am a beacon of health for dinner. $19.33 7 p.m. — In Canada, our oldest department store, The Bay, is closing down. A friend's girlfriend was able to get two of their logo wool blankets at cost since she works for a supplier. There are three of us and two blankets, so a random draw is suggested. I am not chosen but my friend offers for me to take her blanket to save money. Initially I am excited but then I start reading about the colonial history of The Bay. I went to an Indigenous training recently and I feel ignorant at my lack of ability to make connections. The fact that it is a blanket makes me feel extra sick. I message my friends my concern and offer to pay for the blanket but let them know that I don't feel comfortable keeping it. We reach an agreement that I will buy it for now with the option of my friend to pay me back when her finances settle or I will resell it. I call my girlfriend J. for support and ask her if we can get bubble tea tomorrow if my friends now hate me. She says we can get it either way. $165.27 Daily Total: $184.60 Day Four: Saturday 7 a.m. — Wake up early (this happens to me a lot when I perceive conflict or feel like I've let people down). My friend chat is quiet and I'm convinced they hate me. I force myself to go for a walk to return my library books before heading into work at the private practice clinic. I run into one of my coworkers on my walk and she gives me a hug which is really sweet. 9:30 a.m. — I feel better temporarily after the walk. But on my drive to work, I continue overthinking, wishing I had stayed quiet about my feelings and then dealt with the blanket on my own. My last message to the chat was a bid for reassurance that hasn't come yet and I know the person I really need reassurance from is myself. I get a gruyère sandwich from an Italian grocery store near my work ($9.40, but I have a gift card). I have several client appointments in a row so this will function as brunch for me and allow me to take my medication earlier in the day. Zoloft + therapy has been so helpful for my anxiety. $9.40 (Expensed) 1 p.m. — My friends are sweet and remind me I'm not hated. I feel better but also because I had three reasonably good sessions. My new job has been super slow and it has been dispiriting to not have enough work to do. Having private practice on the side has been a really big help. I have a break between my third and fourth sessions and look at mistint paints (I want to find one to paint wooden deck furniture). No luck at the store, but I do leave with ideas. Go back to work and lay on a beanbag chair until my last client comes. 4:30 p.m. — Get gas on my way home because it is 20 cents cheaper a litre (gas has been varying so much here). Usually I am a fill-it-up-when-it's-almost-empty girl, which my friends justifiably tease me for, but this feels so adult. $45.46 6 p.m. — J. comes over. I make us a vegan dinner of sweet Korean lentils, okra, and rice. J. is vegan and it was easier than expected to learn how to cook for her. It's my first-ever relationship that has felt healthy and secure. We both had hard weeks, so our evening is really simple. After dinner, we walk to get bubble tea. J. treats since I treated last weekend. She gets oat milk tea with pearls and I get a taro slush with pearls (it is phenomenal and J. seems really into mine, too). When we get home, J. traces my back with her fingers for a looong time (one of my fave things and I feel so taken care of when she does it) and then it's her turn. This leads to sex and then we fall asleep snuggled up for a little bit. At midnight, J. goes home and I go back to bed. Daily Total: $45.46 Day Five: Sunday 6:50 a.m. — Wake up to my cat's demands for breakfast. Feed her and struggle to go back to bed. Look up cat auto-feeders, then read erotica for about an hour and before falling back to sleep. 11:25 a.m. — Wake up for good and realize the time — wild for me, but nice. Respond to messages and buy a ticket to my friend M.'s comedy open mic show which is later in the week. Start reading Let Them by Mel Robbins (aptly timed for me). Stay inside too long but eventually get out for a short walk. $17.31 4 p.m. — Order a super belated birthday gift for my friend M. It is a notebook with raccoons that says 'Trashy Thoughts', and a multicolour click pen with dogs. We do small gifts and I think she will like these. $17.90 6:30 p.m. — Meet friends for hotpot. There are five of us and it takes a while to get a table. This restaurant serves individual hotpot bowls. I order the veggie bowl and it is just okay for me. But I am glad to see everyone and catch up. My friend B. orders a very spicy hotpot and lets me try his broth. I immediately start coughing and this seems to cheer him up. $25 8:45 p.m. — Drop by J.'s place to chat (I asked her if I could come chat about my feelings and she is very gracious to make time for me). She had a hard day and I find out that she experienced a family loss. We talk and then hold each other. I love her a lot and she is a gem. But I worry that I will overthink things in a misperceiving way or self-sabotage (this is probably down to past bad relationships experiences and a tad too much relational anxiety). Daily Total: $60.21 Day Six: Monday 6 a.m. — I wake up to my cat's readiness for breakfast. Feed her and go back to sleep until 7:30 a.m. Wake up with a zest for cleaning (where did this come from?) and tackle the bathroom and the mountain of clean clothes on the floor. 10 a.m. — Meeting in person with colleagues until 1 p.m. I get McDonald's afterwards (McDouble, small fries, small iced tea) and it is delicious ($6.22). I get Timbits for dessert ($3.19). $9.41 2 p.m. — I was supposed to meet up with my friend and her daughters, but she loses her phone and doesn't reply back in time. I catch up on emails before seeing a private client at 4:30 p.m. I listen to a webinar on my way home from work called The Case for Taking Sides in Couples Therapy and I wonder if I am the problem in my relationship. I still feel unsettled, even though J. is amazing. I asked my best friend K. if we can do a call tomorrow and we confirm a time. 7 p.m. — On my drive home, I stock up on snacks from the dollar store (three flavours of chips). Today feels extra unhealthy. Then I find out that a friend of mine has moved five hours away without the chance to say goodbye. Her husband was in police training so I knew this was coming, but I didn't know exactly when. I adore her baby boy and I feel sad I couldn't say goodbye to them. I debate saying something to her, but decide not to and find peace in that. I know she had to move super quickly after her husband's grad and think that maybe I can visit her in the summer. Mercury was supposed to come out of retrograde today, but the residual yuck still feels there. $6.04 8 p.m. — I force myself to make dinner, which is spaghetti and meatballs. I clean my kitchen and journal. I play ball with L. and she demonstrates her athletic prowess. I think she was a soccer player in a previous life. 10 p.m. — Phone call with J. for about an hour and then a night-time walk. I check my mail (I love mail!) and realize something for another person down the street was delivered to me. I walk down to the correct building to deliver it. Give L. extra food as a deterrent to a 6 a.m. wake up call — let's hope! Daily Total: $15.45 Day Seven: Tuesday 8 a.m. — Wake up and today will be a WFH day. L. wants to play ball again, so we do. My first meeting is at 9:15 a.m. for about an hour. Today is really quiet without anything else scheduled after. I have readings I can do and catching up on emails, etc., but I am struggling with the lack of work right now. I ask my colleague who lives nearby if she wants to take a walk. 11 a.m. — Meet with my colleague to check out a nearby fundraiser book sale. She brings me soup made by her husband. It's the last day of the book sale and it's $10 for a bag of books. We each get a bag and lunch (the yummiest egg and cheese sandwich ever; $8 including tip). On my way out, I buy three 50/50 tickets ($10). $28 1:15 — Phone call with my best friend K., who is validating and supportive. She listens to me and we do a quick catchup, but will connect later in the week for a Zoom book club (we meet with another friend and are working through a workbook called Be Kind to Yourself). 4 p.m. — Take a nap. Be lazy and spend a lot of time on the couch this evening. I definitely need to up my activity levels. 9 p.m. — Heat up the soup from my coworker's husband — his food is magical, too — such a good food day! It's a lentil veggie soup and I eat it with buttered sourdough toast. I am craving chocolate so I walk to the store to get mini eggs which is the perfect end to the day. $2.63 Daily Total: $30.63 The Breakdown Conclusion 'It was really interesting to track my spending this week and made me more aware — not only of money, but also what I eat, my activity levels and mental wellbeing. I don't feel great about the blanket but I see it as a good learning moment to become more aware of what I buy and how sneaky colonialism can be (in many different forms). I've decided that when I get it from my friend, I will re-sell it and donate the proceeds to a local Indigenous organization, and that feels right for me. Reviewing the week makes me feel so grateful for the people in my life, who are so special to me, and for all that I have.' Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual's experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior. The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here. Do you have a Money Diary you'd like to share? Submit it with us here. here or email us here.
Refinery29
13-06-2025
- Business
- Refinery29
A Week In Georgia On A $85,000 Joint Income
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar. Today: an administrative assistant who has an $85,000 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on toilet bowl cleaner. If you'd like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we're not able to reply to every email. Occupation: Administrative assistant Industry: Construction Age: 30 Location: Georgia Salary: $31,500 Joint Income/Financial Setup: $85,000. My husband J. and I share everything equally — all paychecks go into the same account and all bills come out of the same account. (To note: I used averages for our salaries, after tax/401k contributions, and not including overtime. So it's like what we bring home on average if we both work 40 hours). Assets: IRA/401(k) accounts: $60,000 (combined); savings account: $5,000; house value: $330,000 Debt: Mortgage: $310,000 Paycheck Amount (Weekly): $1,650 (combined). Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $1877 (mortgage). Monthly Loan Payments: $0 Private School Tuition: $890 Medical Insurance: $275 Dental Insurance: $95 Home/Auto Insurance: $185 Internet: $105 Power: ~$250 City: ~$70 (water and trash). Phone Bill: $180 Kids' Extracurriculars: $50 Security System & Subscriptions: $75 (SimpliSafe, Netflix, Disney+, two apps on the kids' iPads). Tithe: 10% of our income. Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Not necessarily. My mom made it clear that she wanted all of us to go to college or even technical school, but there was no major push. I went to a private college for one year (paid for with student loans) and dropped out. I always hated school! Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? There was no education or discussion on finances growing up, sadly. My parents were not good with money. My father was an addict and spent a lot of our money very impulsively. My first and only education on money came from my economics class in high school. What was your first job and why did you get it? I worked as a cashier at a grocery store at 17. I got the job so I could have my own money and buy cute clothes, lol. It was fun though. It was all high school kids in the evenings so we goofed off A LOT — I'm not sure we deserved the $7.25 and hour we made! Did you worry about money growing up? Absolutely. Our phones and lights were shut off from time to time. My parents fought a lot about it so it caused a lot of anxiety and shame. Do you worry about money now? Yes, it is something I think about more often than I should. Our mortgage is more than 25% of our income and that's not ideal for me, but the housing market is just crappy right now and I'm scared of being house poor. Additionally, I would like my savings to be larger. It was $10,000 but car repairs and vet bills hit hard this year, but I am working on building it back up. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I became financially responsible for myself at 18. I went off to college at 18, met my husband, and we dropped out after a year, got married, then got jobs and moved into an apartment together. From the time I moved out for college, I had no financial assistance from anyone. (It's certainly not a route I would recommend to anyone so young, haha! But we have a happy little life together.) In terms of a safety net, we don't really have anyone who could help if an emergency came up, but we do have savings, and my husband works a lot of overtime, so he could get extra hours if life popped up. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. I got $1,000 when my grandfather passed 10 years ago. Day One: Sunday 7:30 a.m. — Today is beginning a little differently than most Sundays. I wake up much later than normal, but will still make it to the second half of the church service. We went to a theme park yesterday for the kids' (P. and C.) spring break… The pollen count was high and it was super hot, so we all needed some extra rest today to recharge. I realize I have almost no groceries so I set up a grocery pick up for tomorrow morning and I talk my husband, J., into Starbucks — I get a coffee and ham and Swiss croissant and the kids want cake pops with their breakfast. $16.16 11:30 a.m. — After church (10% tithe included in expenses), we run by Ingles for sandwich stuff and a fruit tray I will need tonight for a BBQ. After lunch the kids get an hour of screen time. Meanwhile, I chat with J. while he packs for a week-long trip. $39.58 2:30 p.m. — I spend an hour leading a discussion on a book called You Are a Theologian by Jen Wilkins and JT English. This group of women is so special to me. After, I realize I forgot eggs for the cookies I planned to make, as well as some cash for a love offering being taken up at the BBQ, so I run by the store again on my way home. $5.55 5 p.m. — J. departs for his trip. I made him and the team some chocolate chip cookies for the ride to the airport. I always use Joanna Gaines' recipe and highly recommend — they get loads of compliments! Me and the children head to a going-away BBQ for some of our dear friends. I slip a small gift of $20 into the card where money is being taken up to help them out on their move. It's bittersweet but they have found a bigger farm in another state, so it is a wonderful opportunity for their family. They will be missed though! The adults mingle and the kids play. $20 8 p.m. — We get home late and I take the dog out, help the kids get bathed and ready for bed, and read them a story. After they fall asleep, I get ready for bed and waste a precious hour of my life on YouTube (I've been watching a lot of Financial Audit but Caleb Hammer is too mean sometimes — although I know that's his thing!) and fall asleep past my bedtime. Daily Total: $81.29 Day Two: Monday 7 a.m. — Sleep in! So, on an average day, I wake up at 5 a.m. for my morning routine — but this week is a little different. P. and C. are on spring break so I took PTO this week with the exception of four hours I have to work this afternoon. 9 a.m. — I pull into Ingles for my weekly grocery pick up. I get milk, yogurt, apple sauce, granola bars, apples, blueberries, grapes, chips, crackers, cereal, beef, sausage, cheese, noodles, creamer, pasta sauce, fruit snacks, mini doughnuts, English muffins, string cheese, paper towels, and toilet bowl cleaner ($119.16). I just know I'm forgetting stuff, but that's a problem for later. It's pouring rain and I feel so bad for the young lady putting up my groceries. I think of bringing her a gift card or something next time I come by. While we are out, we also swing by Chick-fil-A for breakfast, just because. I have a biscuit and iced coffee, the kids get minis and hash browns with chocolate milk ($19.83). $138.99 11 a.m. — Arrive at work with P. and C. I take care of emails, phone calls, appointment reminders, and tie up loose ends for my time off. My kids spend their time drawing, typing on a spare computer, playing with puzzles, and I indulge them with a movie on Netflix… They watch Vivo, it's so cute, I catch myself watching several times before getting back to work! We packed sandwiches for lunch. I feel bad for them because my office is so boring. I am easily talked into a 'treat' from the gas station next door (plus a Celsius for me). $12.52 5:30 p.m. — P. had a Little League baseball game scheduled this evening but it was canceled (it's been raining since yesterday), so instead we go to our friends' house for dinner. It's nice to chat and the kids can play for a while as well. My offer to bring a dessert or side is kindly declined, so I make a mental note to host them in the next couple of weeks. We have chicken pasta, salad, and brownies with ice cream. Yum! C. drops one of their plates and it shatters. I feel awful and jokingly offer to bring them one of mine as we have the same set. They assure us it's no big deal. 9 p.m. — After I get the kids in bed, I do my shower and bedtime routine, then do a little scrolling. I find a cute dress on Amazon that sits in my cart. It's one of those cowl neck silk dresses that are popular right now. I tell myself I can wear it at least twice, when I take my grandma to the ballet in May and when J. and I go to Highlands for a 'fancy' dinner in a few weeks, and I already have shoes to go with it. Despite my justifications, it stays in the cart. Perhaps I'll keep watching to see if it goes on sale! Daily Total: $151.51 Day Three: Tuesday 7 a.m. — Our dog L. wakes me up. She misses J. (every dog has a favorite human and I'm not it) and is super weird and restless without him. I miss him too! I have Greek yogurt, granola, and a blueberry English muffin for breakfast. P. has cereal and C. has mini donuts with blueberries 10 a.m. — After some chores and playtime, we get ready to go out (or as Southerners say 'go to town', lol.) I can't control my impulse to buy an iced coffee ($4.27), it's delish, but I feel guilty. It's the last coffee purchase this week because my Nespresso pods are being delivered today! We end up at our favorite place... the library. I am currently reading Dinner For Vampires by Bethany Joy Lenz, Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin, and The Last One at the Wedding by Jason Rekulak. My kids are bookworms like me, so they pick a few as well. I owe a fine that I take care of ($2.40). On our way out, I grab an info sheet on becoming a 'Friend of the Library' donor to read later. $6.67 12 p.m. — We spend a chunk of time walking around our downtown area. We peruse the antique store (the kids and I take photos of things we like and that we will save our $$ for), pop in the book shop where my SIL works (she brings her baby to work so my kids play with their cousin for a while), then I swing by the local gift store to get ideas for a graduation gift for a sweet girl at church who volunteers in C.'s class! The kids ask for various items as well as lunch out. I hold tight to my original proclamation that we aren't spending money, so we head home. We jam out to the Zombies 3 soundtrack and all is forgotten! 1 p.m. — On our way home, I stop by the store for a couple of things I need for dinner tonight: a rotisserie chicken, chopped salad mix, and sparkling water. Back at home, I make some processed mac and cheese. Mother of the year! $27.03 4 p.m. — We take a walk in our subdivision. P. and C. ride scooters. L. is so weird and territorial so I'm trying to socialize her. We do a couple of laps, which is not half a mile, but feels nice and refreshing. I get an email from P. and C.'s swim instructor for early sign-ups for past students. I stop what I'm doing to snag five class spots on the Google Sheet ($30 each — payment is due June 1). 6 p.m. — I end up keeping my niece for the evening so my SIL can visit her sister at the hospital (she had a baby!). She is soooo sweet and cute. Dinner tonight is chicken Alfredo. All the kids eat really well so I give them a scoop of ice cream and we watch my niece's favorite show, Peppa Pig. Good news: My Nespresso pods were delivered, so no more purchasing coffee this week. Also, my exterminator left his business card on my porch, so that expense will be autodrafted soon… (Getting the outside of your house sprayed is an absolute must for summertime here.) 9:30 p.m. — I do a short workout on YouTube and then I end up scrolling for a bit after my shower and bedtime routine. I look at my cart and the dress again. I determine that I'm being materialistic and I delete it… I have plenty of dresses! I consider other things I should spend money on. We need new towels. I decide I will start buying one a week until we have a new set, so it doesn't feel like such a commitment. I read my Emily Giffin book for a bit, watch YouTube, then go to sleep. Day Four: Wednesday 7 a.m. — Wake up. Food and potty for my doggo; coffee and Bible for me (creature of habit). My kids wake up and request cereal. I have Greek yogurt and a blueberry English muffin. I try a strawberry and white chocolate Nespresso. It's…. weird. I throw a pod in my purse to take to one of my friends, L., for her to try and see what she thinks (she got her Nespresso machine after using mine at Galentine's). 9 a.m. — We have a lowkey morning. I do laundry, unload the dishwasher, and steam mop (my hack is to put a couple of drops of lavender in the mop to make your house smell good, because kids and dogs can be smelly). Then we go to the playground for an hour or so. 12 p.m. — The kids request corndogs for lunch while I have last night's leftovers. Then I play Pokémon battles with P. and Barbies with C. Then I chat with J. I'm unsure of what he is spending on his trip as he is using his credit card. We budgeted around $700 for spending money and food, but honestly I doubt he'll spend that. He is very, very frugal and doesn't spend much money on anything. So when he gets home we will get all of that paid off — we did the credit card debt thing in our young 20s and never, ever again! On another note, J. did say he got us souvenirs, so the kids are excited! 5 p.m. — Squeeze in another walk because it's gonna start raining again tomorrow. We get four good laps. Early dinner because it's church night: I make baked spaghetti (it's one of my favorites, it's so hearty and reheats good, too). 9 p.m. — We get home and get ready for bed. I read with the kids before they go to sleep. C. doesn't read yet so I read a couple of chapters to her and P. will read a couple of chapters to me. However, he finds a booger in his book he checked out at the library so refuses to touch it, lol. We pick something from his shelf. He is my emotional, overthinking child so this is often the time we have our deep, life talks. Daily Total: $0 Day Five: Thursday 7 a.m. — Morning routine. Today is payday. I check online banking to get the exact amounts of income and update the estimated amounts in my budgeting app, I just use Checkbook. Nothing fancy, literally a virtual checkbook but I really like it. I make waffles for P. and C. and have my Greek yogurt and English muffin. 9:45 a.m. — I am doing a thorough deep clean today because my sister, E., is coming to town! She is a teacher in another part of the state and is on spring break as well. She will be staying the night at our house so I want to be a great host. P. is supposed to have a baseball game tonight, but it's raining — again. I'm waiting to hear if it is canceled. Thursdays are gymnastics nights as well. 6:30 p.m. — Game is cancelled again. C. has gymnastics practice anyways. E. gets to town, and we go to my grandmother's house for dinner, some good ol' southern fried food! After dinner, we go back to my house and all play board games for a bit and snack on the brownies I made, as well. 9:40 p.m. — The kids go to sleep and me and E. have a Topo Chico and sneak another brownie while we watch The Great British Bake Off. Eventually we go to sleep. Daily Total: $0 Day Six: Friday 6 a.m. — Our power bill and home/auto insurance are due today so I take care of them while I am getting stuff taken care of before the kids wake up. I switched to this insurance group a year ago to save money and it keeps going up. I make a mental note to shop around. E. slept on the couch, which is comfy, but I wish I had a spare room. I have an unfinished basement and the goal is to finish it, but that's a 10-year goal if I'm being realistic. I make breakfast sliders, Hawaiian rolls, sausage, cheese, and scrambled eggs. These are super popular in our house! E. has to head out early to take her dog to the vet. 11 a.m. — We have leftover baked spaghetti for lunch and then lounge. We end up having a very LAZY day and it's nice! We're always so busy. I also browse cars online; I'm looking at a Toyota RAV4. We made dumb financial decisions early on in our lives and marriage and, thank God, now that we are debt free (less the house), life feels way more relaxed. I do feel pressure knowing my current vehicle is on its way out… We have put over $4,000 in repairs this year. J. wants me to get a new car with a trade in and down payment and aggressively paying off the loan. It's important to have a reliable family vehicle. 5 p.m. — C. has gymnastics recital pictures in her costume. It's adorable with pink, fringe, and sparkles. The photos should be edited and ready to order next week. I'm super excited to see how cute they turn out! (I have this budgeted for this, I plan to order my favorite photo as a digital image.) 7 p.m. — Back home. Dinner tonight is pizza we have in the freezer. Easy peasy! I text some friends and we decide to meet up for glow in the dark bowling in the next town over ($18). Complete the evening with ice cream for P. and C ($4.47). Super fun! $22.47 Daily Total: $22.47 Day Seven: Saturday 7 a.m. — The kids have leftover breakfast sliders and I have an English muffin and apple slices. I clean bathrooms and change sheets today for my chores. 11:30 a.m. — I have a hair appointment today. Drop P. and C. with my mom (they'll have lunch there). I have Girl Lunch: apple and string cheese. My one vain indulgence is to get my hair done every two months. I have very fine, thin hair so I budget for it and it makes me feel more confident! We end up staying at my mom's house for a while before we head back home. $275 5:20 p.m. — We have grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner tonight. I can't believe this is the last night of spring break :( I am going to try to get them in bed a little earlier tonight so Monday morning isn't too rough. We play with L. after dinner and do showers, etc. 8 p.m. — Reading and lights out. I promised them a 'sleepover' while J. was gone and since he'll be home tomorrow, this is the night! Essentially, I just move their mattresses in my room, but they think it's awesome. I plan to read with my book light but end falling asleep while I wait for them to fall asleep. Daily Total: $275 The Breakdown Weekly Total $$ Spent: $563.97 Food & Drink: $248.57 Entertainment: $18 Home & Health: $0.00 Clothes & Beauty $275.00 Transportation $0.00 Other $22.40 Conclusion 'This was a super fun week. I'm so glad I got to take off work for my kids' spring break so we could have us a little staycation! We got to spend time with friends and family and it was good for the soul. I feel like keeping this diary was good for me. I enjoyed seeing exactly what I was doing and spending my money on. I have worked really hard on being more disciplined and less impulsive and I see that coming through here. It makes me proud of how far I've come! My reflection is that I would like to spend less money on groceries and I will look into some hacks for that. I also question my hair appointments and if I can live without the vanity of extensions.'
