Latest news with #MelRobbins
Refinery29
20 hours ago
- Lifestyle
- Refinery29
The Soft Life Is Over — This Year We're 'Locking In'
The ' locking in ' side of TikTok is unrelenting. Early morning alarm clocks followed by a montage of to-do lists, meal-prepped oats, and speed typing on the latest MacBook Pro. Sound bites from motivational speaker Mel Robbins play in the background. 'The bottom line is, no one is coming,' she says. 'Unless you understand that you've got to push yourself, you're not gonna make your dreams come true.' If you're familiar with the above, you've seen how people swear by 'locking in'. Locking in, for the uninitiated, is a trend which sees TikTokers pursue discipline, cut out distractions, and chase long-term goals with near-military focus, be it in their professional lives, academic careers, or simply their workout routines. From dopamine detoxes to grind playlists, locking in marks a sharp pivot from the ' soft life ' trend that once dominated feeds. Soothing videos promoting slow mornings and self-care are now completely outnumbered, with all-time figures showing there's just over 460 thousand posts using the soft life hashtag on TikTok compared to millions using locked in and locking in. The question is, what triggered this collective switch? 'I think a big part of this shift is economic reality finally catching up with softness,' says Hali, a 22-year-old from Minnesota. ' Rent is up, [school] tuition is wild, and social mobility feels like it's shrinking, so naturally there's this urgency, especially among young people, to do something about it.' For Hali, who's built a following of over 130,000 followers on TikTok by sharing career, lifestyle, and personal development videos, locking in means aligning her actions with the life she wants. 'It's not just about working,' she tells me, 'it's about reclaiming power in a system that often leaves us feeling powerless.' Although she's always been productive, Hali 'amplified' this nine months ago. With a growing list of responsibilities (see: school studies, running a new business, and creating social content), she realised that 'coasting was not productive' and there was more 'potential' to be unlocked. 'I live by my Google Calendar,' she says of how she applies herself to achieve this. 'I time-block everything – from classes to content editing to deep work on my projects. I wake up early, plan my weeks, and treat my goals like they're due tomorrow.' @haliijama I said this before and I'll say it again!! Do the hard work now so future you can live off the fruits of your labor. You are never going to be this energized, motivated & young again and it's better to work on these things now rather than later. #discipline #selfdiscipline #motivationalvideo #lifeadvice #chooseyourhard #motivationalclip ♬ original sound - Hali Jama Hali isn't alone in that thinking or way of life. 'With the unending uncertainty of the world, economically, politically, and culturally, I believe people are turning inward and focusing on what they can control: their mindset, their habits, and their goals,' says Chloe, a 26-year-old from Los Angeles who locked in two years ago – well before the trend made it to our TikTok feeds. After a series of job swaps and a failed business venture, Chloe reached a 'turning point' and took a 'hard, honest look' at her situation. 'I knew I had to change the way I was living – starting with my mindset and daily habits.' Fast forward to 2025 and things are totally different for Chloe, who's now a qualified personal trainer and founder of a start-up. 'I've been deeply committed to personal growth,' she says, pointing to the 'transformative' practices – like meditating, journaling, working out, and meal-prepping – that help her be 'a little kinder, hotter, smarter, and richer, and more radiant every single day.' 'In periods of scarcity or instability, we often react by narrowing our focus and over-indexing on behaviours we can influence, like budgeting, working harder, or hyper-planning our futures,' explains Samantha Rosenberg, behavioural economist and co-founder of wealth-tech platform, Belong. 'This urgency is also driven by anticipatory regret: the fear of looking back and wishing you'd done more, earlier.' 'Self-discipline becomes a kind of psychological safety net,' she adds. 'It's why we're seeing a shift from 'treat yourself' to 'train yourself'. It feels safer.' With that in mind, it makes sense that so many people are resonating with this stricter approach to life, and a quick look at Google Trends backs this up. Over the past three months, searches for 'locked in' have shown a steady increase globally, particularly in the UK (with a growth of over 30%) and the US. Meanwhile, searches for soft life have plateaued. 'The 'soft life' was about rest and protecting peace, but I think a lot of us realised that soft living isn't sustainable long-term without some structure or achievement to back it,' says 23-year-old Samia, a London-based student. The soft life doesn't lend itself goals that require some level of grit to achieve. 'Eventually, I felt stuck,' agrees Weirong, a 25-year-old communication expert and podcaster who swapped the 'soft life' for one that's 'locked in'. 'The pause that once felt like healing started to feel like avoidance,' she continues. 'I noticed myself delaying goals in the name of 'alignment,' when really I was afraid of failing.' ''Locking in' became my way of honouring the growth from the 'soft life' while re-engaging with the world, this time with clarity and purpose,' Weirong adds of this lifestyle transition. 'I show up with consistency even when it's uncomfortable – I wake up earlier to journal, prioritise deep work, say no to distractions. It's about combining self-awareness with strategy.' Since 'locking in', all four women say they've noticed financial and professional improvements. Hali tells me of her business' growth and the brand deals she's secured, Samia points to the quality of her academic performance, Weirong is celebrating new projects and a podcast while Chloe says she's found 'true purpose' in her start-up. This sounds great, but has it come at a cost to other areas of their lives? Dr Audrey Tang, a psychologist specialising in resilience, burnout, and performance culture, tells me 'locking in' can be positive when it means 'listening to what your body needs and feeding your soul in a healthy way,' but that's not always the case. She explains that when behaviours become 'performative' and 'inauthentic', we see instances of burnout. This idea of performance ties directly into the online worlds we occupy, where our behaviours are increasingly shaped by what we see and how we want to be seen. 'We're constantly exposed to curated versions of success, which can trigger what we call 'relative deprivation' and fuel an internal race to catch up,' adds Rosenberg. 'Our brains aren't wired for this kind of always-on comparison. Even rest becomes performative – so these social platforms amplify both the extremes of self-care and hustle culture.' @chloeegaynor and I'm LOCCCKKKINNNGGG in. who's locking in too ;) #lockedin #mindset #wellness #fitness #health #sprint #routine ♬ Let it happen by Tame impala - Elldzs★ Chloe admits she's felt this at times. 'I started locking in to build a life I was proud of, one where I didn't have to work myself to total exhaustion. But I've experienced burnout from being too locked in,' she says, explaining this caused her to 'miss out on joy, peace, and time with loved ones.' Now, Chloe makes an effort to carve out time for the things she enjoys day-to-day, as well as long-term. 'I make it a goal to do at least 20 minutes of something I thoroughly enjoy every day,' she points out. 'Even when my schedule is packed, I do my best to stay consistent, and lately I've been more intentional about making plans, taking trips, and allowing myself to feel excitement.' Similarly, Samia says locking in too much triggers feelings of guilt. 'You feel like you're falling behind if you're not productive every minute,' she says. 'I've been there and I'm still trying to find my way around it, but I've learnt to build flexibility into my schedule and to reframe rest as part of the process, not a sign of weakness.' 'Being self-aware is important,' advises Dr Tang. 'If you find your reaction to missing a workout (or whatever your routine is) is out of proportion to the event itself, then you would do well to engage in self-reflection to see if 'motivation' has turned into overly rigid discipline, which may not be healthy.' 'The key is knowing when to push and when to pause,' adds Samia, 'Rest isn't a reward but a requirement,' adds Weirong, who points to the soft life lessons she still holds on to. 'Locking in, for me, is soft life with purpose – it includes rest, but also requires discipline. It's the integration of stillness and structure.' To that end, here's a reminder that purpose doesn't have to be punishing, and peace doesn't mean giving up. Yes, your career might skyrocket during a season of locking in – but if it comes at the cost of your mental health, relationships, or happiness, it's worth asking: success by whose definition? The pursuit of success is seemingly driving the collective shift toward structure, however that looks for individuals). 'When people sense that long-term opportunities – like home ownership or financial freedom – are slipping out of reach, doubling down on discipline offers a sense of agency,' Rosenberg reminds us, adding that by focusing on 'immediate actions' we feel like we can 'shift the long game.' Both the soft life and locking in trends offer that illusion of control, and these social media-friendly frameworks promise fulfilment, even if by different routes. But they risk becoming performative obligations than actual choices. Perhaps, then, we needn't choose a side, but step back from the cycle altogether and accept that a successful life doesn't have to be optimised, aesthetic, or For You Page-approved. A successful life is whatever you make it.
Boston Globe
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Boston Globe
Local bestsellers for the week ended June 15
3. Wally Lamb S&S/Marysue Rucci Books 4. Penguin Press 5. Atria Books 6. Doubleday 7. Scribner 8. Little, Brown and Company 9. Knopf 10. Berkley HARDCOVER NONFICTION 1. Penguin Press Advertisement 2. Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster 3. Penguin Press Get Starting Point A guide through the most important stories of the morning, delivered Monday through Friday. Enter Email Sign Up 4. Scribner 5. John Green Crash Course Books 6. W.W. Norton & Company 7. Crown 8. Little, Brown and Company Advertisement 9. Mel Robbins Hay House LL C 10. Grand Central Publishing PAPERBACK FICTION 1. Harper Perennial 2. Ecco 3. Berkley 4. Catapult 5. Riverhead Books 6. Vintage 7. Vintage 8. Random House Trade Paperbacks 9. Harper Perennial 10. Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster PAPERBACK NONFICTION 1. Vintage 2. Crown 3. Milkweed Editions 4. Harper Perennial 5. Vintage Advertisement 6. Michael Finkel Vintage 7. Penguin Books 8. Holt Paperbacks 9. Matt Kracht Chronicle Book 10. Knopf The New England Indie Bestseller List, as brought to you by IndieBound and NEIBA, for the week ended Sunday, June 15, 2025. Based on reporting from the independent booksellers of the New England Independent Booksellers Association and IndieBound. For an independent bookstore near you, visit
Buzz Feed
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Buzz Feed
36 Great Alternatives To Pricey Brand-Name Items
A pair of waterproof wireless earbuds that look just like AirPods Pro — *but* these have an LED display to show you the battery percentage on the case. These don't have noise cancellation like the Pros do, but if that's not something you're looking for, this swap will help you save a LOT of pretty pennies. The earbuds last up to 6 hours on a single charge and are sweatproof, meaning they can transition seamlessly from your phone call to a running session around your neighborhood. And a pair of wireless over-the-ear headphones with the same sleek, shiny shell design of AirPods Max. These have pretty decent noise cancellation (according to reviewers) and a built-in mic to answer calls, and they feel super comfy on your ears with their extra padding. For only 20 bucks, they're a much safer (and wallet-friendly) purchase if you're unsure about Apple's headphones — they are over $500, after all... A cubic zirconia ring that looks so much like a Cartier Love Ring, people will think you dropped BANDS for it. People will undoubtedly compliment your bling, so in the words of Mel Robbins — let them. ☺️ The Hanes Ultimate crew socks because who wants to drop bank on good quality socks?! No thanks. These are just like Aritzia's TNA socks — which cost $20 for a three-pack — but these come in a pack of ✨six✨ for half the price. They still have the same ribbed detailing, sit above your ankle, and will feel super cushiony as you walk around in them. E.l.f.'s Hydrating Core Lip Shine — did you know that their shade "Ecstatic" looks eerily similar to Clinique's "Black Honey?" Well now you do. Elf's version is sheer, buildable, and nourishing (just like Clinique's) but costs almost 20 dollars less! A set of square stemmed wineglasses so your CRISP white wine can hit just a little harder when you take your first sip. Just imagine swirling your twist-off wine and sipping like you're on a wine tour in Napa. If you feel like these seem straight out of Crate & Barrel (good eye!), reviewers say they look just the they love the price tag of these much more. An Ugg-inspired suede mule slipper that's still got the comfortable fuzzy interior and stylish exterior like its Aussie counterpart, but for soooo much less. These even have half-sizes — which Ugg doesn't! L'Oréal Paris Makeup True Match Lumi Glotion for an illuminating glow that easily rivals the infamous Drunk Elephant's bronzing drops. It's designed to be worn alone, under foundation, or use it as a highlighter on your cheekbones! Reviewers like this *more* than Drunk Elephant because it can be worn as a skin tint and it's less glittery. A pair of leakproof "Cloudfeel" period boyshorts that give the Thinx version a real run for their money — and these are 10 bucks cheaper. They're soft, comfy, and hold up to 12 tampons worth of period blood, so you can sleep without any worries you'll stain your sheets. Dossier's "Ambery Vanilla" perfume if YSL Black Opium is your holy grail scent, but it's simply breaking the budget. This one is quite literally inspired by YSL, so you get the experience of wearing a luxury scent without dropping $95. It's designed to last for up to eight hours *and* smell like a wonderful blend of mandarin, jasmine, orange blossom, and vanilla. L'Oréal Paris BB Cream aka a solid alternative to Dr Jart+ Cicapair Color Correcting Cream, because they're both designed to neutralize redness and even out your skin tone — but L'Oréal's is a lot more affordable. Bonus: It can double as a base for makeup, making it very versatile — we love! A waterproof fitness smartwatch that'll make you question why it's under $40... It has many of the features that make pricey smartwatches so amazing, like Bluetooth, voice-control features, the ability to take phone calls, and an HD display. It also allows you to track numerous things like step count, calories burned, training time, AND distance for a variety of activities. It has a unique, sleek design (just like the Apple Watch) *and* 500+ watch face options to choose from — or just upload your own from your camera roll! Elizavecca's CER-100 Collagen Coating Hair Protein treatment for damaged hair from hot styling tools or over-processing from harsh treatments like bleach. Reviewers say it helps their hair feel stronger, softer, and less tangled, with an immediate difference. One person even went as far as to say that it's "Better than Olaplex." 😱 Glossmetics' Lychee Overnight Lip Mask designed to deeply hydrate so your lips feel softer by morning. It's formulated with shea butter (just like Laneige's Lip Sleeping Mask), but it's *also* got peptides packed into it — great for hydration and preventing dryness. Reviewers say it's a good alternative because it feels very similar, lasts a long time, and doesn't get goopy in the corners of the mouth. A pair of ~Dreamlux~ leggings that are the closest thing you'll get to Lululemon Align leggings without dropping major cash on them. They not only look the same, but they're also soft, comfy, *and* not see-through — which means you don't have to worry when you do a deep lunge at the gym. Reviewers also like these more than Lulus because they stay in good condition over time, the color doesn't fade, and they don't fall down when you're wearing them. A Briotech spray with hypochlorous acid, an antibacterial ingredient that can help reduce inflammation, redness, and irritation. Spritz this on your face as needed (like after a workout!) to help target acne-causing bacteria and soothe skin. Reviewers compare this to the Tower 28 SOS Spray, which is pricier (and has the same key ingredient!). Catrice "Instant Awake" Under Eye Brightener, a color corrector that neutralizes the bluish eye bags that scream, "I only slept for four hours last night." It'll not only provide impeccable coverage, but it'll also nourish your skin thanks to its hyaluronic acid and shea butter formula. Reviewers say they like this *more* than Smashbox's Becca under eye cream because it's thinner, doesn't settle into fine lines, and is better at brightening. Juno & Co.'s Clean 10 Cleansing Balm with a blend of vitamin E and pearl barley to remove makeup with EASE. Say goodbye to those wasteful makeup wipes when you can swipe this on — it leaves no residue or oily mess on your skin. So take this as your sign to ditch the pricier versions by Farmacy Green Clean, Dermalogica, or Elemis! A set of satin pillowcases that have a similar aesthetic and similar benefits to pricey alternatives like Slip and Kitsch — and reviewers agree. They can help create less friction against your hair, reduce breakage, and control frizz, making them great for those of you who take your haircare EXTRA seriously. A long-lasting E.l.f Lash XTNDR tubing mascara reviewers say OUTPREFORMS pricier versions like Benefit, Thrive, and Blinc because it doesn't clump or flake *and* it stays in place all day without being hard to remove. It's formulated with jojoba seed oil to condition lashes, all while providing *dramatic* length. A pair of Cushionaire cork-bottom sandals if you love the stylish look of Birkenstocks on summery days. Over 1K reviewers compare these to the name brand, with some noting that these are more comfortable, good quality, and have no break-in period. An Apple-compatible locator tag with all the functionality of an AirTag but at a price that won't make you say "Really..." 😑. These come in a waterproof case, so no matter what situation your lost thing finds itself in, the tag will stay in perfect condition. They're especially useful for pet owners who can sometimes lose their furry friend! A moisturizing body wash if you wish Baccarat Rouge 450 came in soap form. Well, do I have the product for you — reviewers say it smells very similar! It has a silky smooth consistency *everyone* loves, and smells like a heavenly blend of white jasmine, red currant, and sweet amber. Your showers are about to hit DIFFERENT. A multipurpose, minimalist nylon tote bag so you can cosplay as a Longchamp wearer who's on their way to pilates on a Tuesday at 2 p.m., when you're really on your way to work. It can fit your laptop, planner, makeup essentials, and more. You'll probably gasp when you realize this folds up into a triangle *just* like the Longchamp Le Pilage bag. Or a laptop tote bag with an alligator print to feel luxurious on your way to work, school drop-off, or just your daily errands. The best part? It won't break your bank account! It's very similar to the Béis Work Tote and can fit your laptop, water bottle, iPad, makeup essentials, and more with ease! E.l.f. Halo Glow Liquid Filter that'll make your skin glow, blur the appearance of pores, and add a dash of moisture to your skin — just like Charlotte Tilbury's Flawless Filter — except this has a better price tag. It leaves a soft, dewy finish that you can sport on its own, under makeup, or as a highlighter on top! A super soft long-sleeved bodysuit if you're looking for a Skims lookalike that's breathable, not see-through, *and* cheap, then this is for you. One reviewer went as far as to say that this alternative looks the *EXACT* same as the OG when side by side. 👀 E.l.f.'s Holy Hydration! Thirst Burst Drops reviewers say are a great alternative to the pricier Watermelon Dew Drops from Glow Recipe. They're designed to hydrate, make your skin all glowy, and either be used as a step in your skincare routine *or* a primer for your foundation or concealer. A beloved, slow-burning luxury-scented candle with top notes of jasmine, oud, and sandalwood that reviewers say is similar to Le Labo's Santal 33. One reviewer said it reminds them of a "luxury hotel," so it'll pair perfectly with your room service (McDonald's). A pair of oversized square sunglasses that'll make you look so stylish and expensive you should be sitting courtside at a Knicks game. They look like Bottega Veneta, but you'll be laughing all the way to the bank because these are a whole lot cheaper. Another bonus is that they come in many colors *and* have polarized lenses with UV protection! Etude's Dear Darling Water Tint because you can get both a lip stain *and* rosy blush from just one product? Some reviewers say it's similar to Benefit's Lip Tint because the color, pigment, and anti-smudge formula are "very, very close" to the OG — and who doesn't want a cheap two-in-one product? A bottle of NYX matte setting spray some reviewers prefer to the Urban Decay version, because it has no scent and a better spritzer — and they say it's more effective at keeping makeup in place (like around the mouth). And it's designed to prevent creasing and smearing, and control oil that naturally occurs throughout the day. A lightweight, cropped zip-up workout jacket to make everyone think you're a gym BADDIE while you're doing 12-3-30 or just running a quick errand. While you could opt for the Lululemon version, do you really wanna spend more than double? Doubtful. And a Lululemon-inspired longline sports bra you can wear for your next morning workout class, grocery run, or *even* your "let me rot all day in bed" moment. It's supportive, not too compressive, and lightweight, so it'll be delightful in warmer weather. Peach Slices Acne Spot Dots if you have a zit that sprouted up — just stick on these hydrocolloid patches that'll help suck up all the gunk. They're *just* like Hero's Mighty Patches, but way more affordable — and they come in three sizes so you're zit is covered whether it's a tiny bump or a major breakout. A set of cozy button-down PJs so when you step into your room after (what felt like) a never-ending day, you can slip on something superrr soft. They're a solid alternative to pricey brands like Eberjay and Skims, so you'll feel like you're relaxing in name-brand heaven. Your "lay for the foreseeable future" sessions are gonna hit different with these — just trust me.
Scotsman
4 days ago
- Business
- Scotsman
Get 3 months of Audible free with this Amazon Prime Day audiobooks deal
Audible has the UK's biggest selection of audiobooks - and it's included in the free trial | Amazon This article contains affiliate links. We may earn a small commission on items purchased through this article, but that does not affect our editorial judgement. Audiobooks can be pricey, but this limited-time Audible offer via Amazon Prime means you can enjoy three months free, with up to £100 in savings on bestsellers and blockbusters. Sign up to our daily newsletter – Regular news stories and round-ups from around Scotland direct to your inbox Sign up Thank you for signing up! Did you know with a Digital Subscription to The Scotsman, you can get unlimited access to the website including our premium content, as well as benefiting from fewer ads, loyalty rewards and much more. Learn More Sorry, there seem to be some issues. Please try again later. Submitting... Audiobooks are an incredibly convenient way to consume content. Whether you like to soak up a new best-selling crime thriller, or lose yourself in an autobiography, having your book read to you while you carry on with your day is a lovely luxury. It is, however, a more expensive way to buy a book. Even some of the smaller titles can cost in excess of £20 - so when there's a chance of a Audible free trial, it's always worth taking. That's why Audible's latest special offer ahead of Audible Prime Day 2025 is well worth a look, because it offers three months of full-access membership for free. And that means you can download and listen to a best-seller or a new release in each of those months for free. And the audiobooks will be yours to keep after the trial. Harry Potter audiobooks can cost over £30 - but not if you're on a free trial | Contributed After or during the three months, you won't be obliged to pay anything, you can cancel at any time, so it really is a free offer, and a great way to bank up some summer reading. Or, listening. Starting from today, and lasting until the end of July, it's a promotion that's timed to coincide with Amazon Prime Day 2025, a huge sales bonanza with discounts all across the global shopping site. And it could be one of the best savings you make. For example, if you were to choose the three best-selling audiobooks during your trial, you'd save nearly £55. Currently topping the Audible charts is The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, which would normally cost £25.99 and in second place is By Your Side by Ruth Jones, which costs £12.99 and Caught Up by Navessa Allen is in third place, and that would cost £15.99 - a total cost of £54.97 - but completely free if you're in the Audible three month trial. Audible originals are also included, as well as podcasts At the higher end of the scale, Harry Potter fans usually have to pay over £30 for audiobooks, but you could stack up three with the trial - which would be a total saving of nearly £100. The only catch with this deal is you'll need to be an Amazon Prime member to take Audible up on it, because it's an Amazon company. However, you can join Prime on a free trial for 30 days by clicking here, and that could be an easy way around it if you're not a member already.
Refinery29
4 days ago
- Lifestyle
- Refinery29
The Soft Life Is Over — This Summer We're 'Locking In'
The ' locking in ' side of TikTok is unrelenting. Early morning alarm clocks followed by a montage of to-do lists, meal-prepped oats, and speed typing on the latest MacBook Pro. Sound bites from motivational speaker Mel Robbins play in the background. 'The bottom line is, no one is coming,' she says. 'Unless you understand that you've got to push yourself, you're not gonna make your dreams come true.' If you're familiar with the above, you've seen how people swear by 'locking in'. Locking in, for the uninitiated, is a trend which sees TikTokers pursue discipline, cut out distractions, and chase long-term goals with near-military focus, be it in their professional lives, academic careers, or simply their workout routines. From dopamine detoxes to grind playlists, locking in marks a sharp pivot from the ' soft life ' trend that once dominated feeds. Soothing videos promoting slow mornings and self-care are now completely outnumbered, with all-time figures showing there's just over 460 thousand posts using the soft life hashtag on TikTok compared to millions using locked in and locking in. The question is, what triggered this collective switch? 'I think a big part of this shift is economic reality finally catching up with softness,' says Hali, a 22-year-old from Minnesota. ' Rent is up, [school] tuition is wild, and social mobility feels like it's shrinking, so naturally there's this urgency, especially among young people, to do something about it.' For Hali, who's built a following of over 130,000 followers on TikTok by sharing career, lifestyle, and personal development videos, locking in means aligning her actions with the life she wants. 'It's not just about working,' she tells me, 'it's about reclaiming power in a system that often leaves us feeling powerless.' Although she's always been productive, Hali 'amplified' this nine months ago. With a growing list of responsibilities (see: school studies, running a new business, and creating social content), she realised that 'coasting was not productive' and there was more 'potential' to be unlocked. 'I live by my Google Calendar,' she says of how she applies herself to achieve this. 'I time-block everything – from classes to content editing to deep work on my projects. I wake up early, plan my weeks, and treat my goals like they're due tomorrow.' @haliijama I said this before and I'll say it again!! Do the hard work now so future you can live off the fruits of your labor. You are never going to be this energized, motivated & young again and it's better to work on these things now rather than later. #discipline #selfdiscipline #motivationalvideo #lifeadvice #chooseyourhard #motivationalclip ♬ original sound - Hali Jama Hali isn't alone in that thinking or way of life. 'With the unending uncertainty of the world, economically, politically, and culturally, I believe people are turning inward and focusing on what they can control: their mindset, their habits, and their goals,' says Chloe, a 26-year-old from Los Angeles who locked in two years ago – well before the trend made it to our TikTok feeds. After a series of job swaps and a failed business venture, Chloe reached a 'turning point' and took a 'hard, honest look' at her situation. 'I knew I had to change the way I was living – starting with my mindset and daily habits.' Fast forward to 2025 and things are totally different for Chloe, who's now a qualified personal trainer and founder of a start-up. 'I've been deeply committed to personal growth,' she says, pointing to the 'transformative' practices – like meditating, journaling, working out, and meal-prepping – that help her be 'a little kinder, hotter, smarter, and richer, and more radiant every single day.' 'In periods of scarcity or instability, we often react by narrowing our focus and over-indexing on behaviours we can influence, like budgeting, working harder, or hyper-planning our futures,' explains Samantha Rosenberg, behavioural economist and co-founder of wealth-tech platform, Belong. 'This urgency is also driven by anticipatory regret: the fear of looking back and wishing you'd done more, earlier.' 'Self-discipline becomes a kind of psychological safety net,' she adds. 'It's why we're seeing a shift from 'treat yourself' to 'train yourself'. It feels safer.' With that in mind, it makes sense that so many people are resonating with this stricter approach to life, and a quick look at Google Trends backs this up. Over the past three months, searches for 'locked in' have shown a steady increase globally, particularly in the UK (with a growth of over 30%) and the US. Meanwhile, searches for soft life have plateaued. 'The 'soft life' was about rest and protecting peace, but I think a lot of us realised that soft living isn't sustainable long-term without some structure or achievement to back it,' says 23-year-old Samia, a London-based student. The soft life doesn't lend itself goals that require some level of grit to achieve. 'Eventually, I felt stuck,' agrees Weirong, a 25-year-old communication expert and podcaster who swapped the 'soft life' for one that's 'locked in'. 'The pause that once felt like healing started to feel like avoidance,' she continues. 'I noticed myself delaying goals in the name of 'alignment,' when really I was afraid of failing.' ''Locking in' became my way of honouring the growth from the 'soft life' while re-engaging with the world, this time with clarity and purpose,' Weirong adds of this lifestyle transition. 'I show up with consistency even when it's uncomfortable – I wake up earlier to journal, prioritise deep work, say no to distractions. It's about combining self-awareness with strategy.' Since 'locking in', all four women say they've noticed financial and professional improvements. Hali tells me of her business' growth and the brand deals she's secured, Samia points to the quality of her academic performance, Weirong is celebrating new projects and a podcast while Chloe says she's found 'true purpose' in her start-up. This sounds great, but has it come at a cost to other areas of their lives? Dr Audrey Tang, a psychologist specialising in resilience, burnout, and performance culture, tells me 'locking in' can be positive when it means 'listening to what your body needs and feeding your soul in a healthy way,' but that's not always the case. She explains that when behaviours become 'performative' and 'inauthentic', we see instances of burnout. This idea of performance ties directly into the online worlds we occupy, where our behaviours are increasingly shaped by what we see and how we want to be seen. 'We're constantly exposed to curated versions of success, which can trigger what we call 'relative deprivation' and fuel an internal race to catch up,' adds Rosenberg. 'Our brains aren't wired for this kind of always-on comparison. Even rest becomes performative – so these social platforms amplify both the extremes of self-care and hustle culture.' @chloeegaynor and I'm LOCCCKKKINNNGGG in. who's locking in too ;) #lockedin #mindset #wellness #fitness #health #sprint #routine ♬ Let it happen by Tame impala - Elldzs★ Chloe admits she's felt this at times. 'I started locking in to build a life I was proud of, one where I didn't have to work myself to total exhaustion. But I've experienced burnout from being too locked in,' she says, explaining this caused her to 'miss out on joy, peace, and time with loved ones.' Now, Chloe makes an effort to carve out time for the things she enjoys day-to-day, as well as long-term. 'I make it a goal to do at least 20 minutes of something I thoroughly enjoy every day,' she points out. 'Even when my schedule is packed, I do my best to stay consistent, and lately I've been more intentional about making plans, taking trips, and allowing myself to feel excitement.' Similarly, Samia says locking in too much triggers feelings of guilt. 'You feel like you're falling behind if you're not productive every minute,' she says. 'I've been there and I'm still trying to find my way around it, but I've learnt to build flexibility into my schedule and to reframe rest as part of the process, not a sign of weakness.' 'Being self-aware is important,' advises Dr Tang. 'If you find your reaction to missing a workout (or whatever your routine is) is out of proportion to the event itself, then you would do well to engage in self-reflection to see if 'motivation' has turned into overly rigid discipline, which may not be healthy.' 'The key is knowing when to push and when to pause,' adds Samia, 'Rest isn't a reward but a requirement,' adds Weirong, who points to the soft life lessons she still holds on to. 'Locking in, for me, is soft life with purpose – it includes rest, but also requires discipline. It's the integration of stillness and structure.' To that end, here's a reminder that purpose doesn't have to be punishing, and peace doesn't mean giving up. Yes, your career might skyrocket during a season of locking in – but if it comes at the cost of your mental health, relationships, or happiness, it's worth asking: success by whose definition? The pursuit of success is seemingly driving the collective shift toward structure, however that looks for individuals). 'When people sense that long-term opportunities – like home ownership or financial freedom – are slipping out of reach, doubling down on discipline offers a sense of agency,' Rosenberg reminds us, adding that by focussing on 'immediate actions' we feel like we can 'shift the long game.' Both the soft life and locking in trends offer that illusion of control, and these social media-friendly frameworks promise fulfilment, even if by different routes. But they risk becoming performative obligations than actual choices. Perhaps, then, we needn't choose a side, but step back from the cycle altogether and accept that a successful life doesn't have to be optimised, aesthetic, or For You Page-approved. A successful life is whatever you make it.
