Latest news with #LostBoys
The Irish Sun
a day ago
- Sport
- The Irish Sun
Jack Grealish is latest England star caught in football's Neverland as spiralling wages syndrome claims first victims
IF you have ever watched Peter Pan, you will be familiar with the Lost Boys. Little babies who fell out of their prams and were carted off to Neverland, where they live in limbo. 6 Jack Grealish faces an uncertain time ahead of the Word Cup Credit: Getty 6 Man Utd striker Marcus Rashford was on loan at Aston Villa in 2024-25 and his future is also unclear, although Newcastle are interested Credit: Getty 6 Chelsea chose not to buy Man Utd loanee Jadon Sancho permanently Credit: PA There is a growing number of Premier League footballers finding themselves in a similar position as the spiralling wages syndrome of recent years starts to claim its first victims. Led by Grealish is currently trying to plot a way out of Effectively shoved out of his pushchair by boss Pep Guardiola and told to find somewhere else to live. READ MORE IN FOOTBALL At present, one of England's most naturally gifted footballers is caught in Neverland. Italian champions To be fair, it doesn't take a genius to work out that Grealish is a decent player, just down on his luck and caught in a tricky situation with a boss who doesn't recognise his talents. Yet the problem is the approximate £270,000-per-week wages that he trousers as an accessory to the £100million he commanded when signing from Most read in Football 6 BEST ONLINE CASINOS - TOP SITES IN THE UK Back then the British record transfer fee looked to be the catalyst for one of the last great football mavericks to ascend new heights and become a superstar with the character to match. It's now all just fizzling out in a sad demise. Jack Grealish has gone from eye-catching showman and heartthrob to miserable bench warmer - and I know who's to blame Guardiola can claim how much he loves 'Jack' all he likes. But there is only one real love for top-level players — and that is to see their names on the team sheet each week. One minute off the bench in the last game of the season sums it up for the Brummie bad lad everyone adores. It's time to go. But with two years left on his contract, that's roughly £28m in his bin. We hear all that old guff about it's not about money, it's about football, but why should Grealish pay the price for the fact that Guardiola sold him a dream four years ago but couldn't make it come true? So now there is an impasse, and it's not the first time it's happened in the blue part of Manchester. City signed Wayne Bridge from Picking up around £60,000 a week back then was a decent whack for a player, though not in Grealish's league, even accounting for inflation. The move went t**s up and for the next four years full-back Bridge turned up for work, trained and did his bit but was sent on loan to He played barely 40 games for City overall but took his full pay cheque every month. It cost the club around £13m in pay — or just over £3m a game. Numbers associated with top footballers since then have gone fully cosmic. Winger Sterling was signed by Chelsea's new owners Todd Boehly and Behdad Eghbali in 2022. Ironically, from Manchester City. He wasn't going to turn down the £300,000 a week being thrust in his hands by the naive Americans. 6 Raheem Sterling struggled on loan at Arsenal from Chelsea Credit: Shutterstock Editorial Sterling is now a lost soul. He spent last season sitting on the bench on loan at Arsenal. He is back now and as part of the infamous 'bomb squad' of Z-listers under coach But those wages will now just get in the way. For another two years. Good luck finding a Premier League club willing to shell out £15m a year for a forward who scored one goal last season. Ditto for striker Rashford, who will soon report back to And for his Red Devils club-mate Sancho — a Champions League finalist in 2024 who Chelsea paid £5m to get off their hands after a year on loan with them. If no compromises can be found, that's four full-blown England internationals stuck in Limboland come the start of the Premier League season on August 16. They'll be able to pay their mortgages — but what a waste for the game as a whole. LAK OF LOGIC Which doesn't really make sense. The Serbian told BBC Radio Solent that some of the baffling decisions that went against his team last winter robbed them of eight points. He said: 'I'm not saying we would stay in the league, but we would have had a much more competitive run and Russell would definitely still be leading the team.' But if the decisions by VAR were the issue, then it can't have been the fault of Martin. So why didn't Southampton's top man recognise that and stick by his coach? Saints have had four different full-time managers since 2022. Just saying . . . 6 Russell Martin was axed by Southampton but is Ranges' new boss Credit: PA EMPTY THREAT THE Club World Cup is at least trying new things. Introducing individual player walk-ons and scrubbing out-of-date traditions, such as crowds in stadiums, are notable innovations. But best of all is the 'most threatening player' caption which appeared in the corner of my TV screen during I assume it's meant in terms of attacking players putting pressure on the opposition goal. Of which there wasn't much in this poor excuse for a game. However, it did make me wonder what fun we could have had with such an analytic tool back in the days of Roy Keane and Duncan Ferguson. STICKIN' BOOT IN THE new Premier League fixtures are out, yet two of its biggest teams are still playing competitive games — at the Club World Cup. And when next season finishes we'll roll straight into a World Cup, having seen nine Prem teams compete in expanded European competitions throughout the winter. It's final, depressing proof that football is 24/7, 365 days a year and now the backdrop to everyday life, every day.
Scottish Sun
a day ago
- Business
- Scottish Sun
Jack Grealish is latest England star caught in football's Neverland as spiralling wages syndrome claims first victims
IF you have ever watched Peter Pan, you will be familiar with the Lost Boys. Little babies who fell out of their prams and were carted off to Neverland, where they live in limbo. 6 Jack Grealish faces an uncertain time ahead of the Word Cup Credit: Getty 6 Man Utd striker Marcus Rashford was on loan at Aston Villa in 2024-25 and his future is also unclear, although Newcastle are interested Credit: Getty 6 Chelsea chose not to buy Man Utd loanee Jadon Sancho permanently Credit: PA There is a growing number of Premier League footballers finding themselves in a similar position as the spiralling wages syndrome of recent years starts to claim its first victims. Led by Jack Grealish, players like Raheem Sterling, Jadon Sancho and Marcus Rashford are now without roots and swinging in the wind, without a place to really call home. Grealish is currently trying to plot a way out of Manchester City having been told his services are no longer required. Effectively shoved out of his pushchair by boss Pep Guardiola and told to find somewhere else to live. READ MORE IN FOOTBALL GAME STOPPED Club World Cup clash suspended as fans and commentators told to 'get inside' At present, one of England's most naturally gifted footballers is caught in Neverland. Italian champions Napoli have recognised there is a gem of a player to be had, even if he is surplus to requirements at the Etihad. To be fair, it doesn't take a genius to work out that Grealish is a decent player, just down on his luck and caught in a tricky situation with a boss who doesn't recognise his talents. Yet the problem is the approximate £270,000-per-week wages that he trousers as an accessory to the £100million he commanded when signing from Aston Villa in 2021. 6 BEST ONLINE CASINOS - TOP SITES IN THE UK Back then the British record transfer fee looked to be the catalyst for one of the last great football mavericks to ascend new heights and become a superstar with the character to match. It's now all just fizzling out in a sad demise. Jack Grealish has gone from eye-catching showman and heartthrob to miserable bench warmer - and I know who's to blame Guardiola can claim how much he loves 'Jack' all he likes. But there is only one real love for top-level players — and that is to see their names on the team sheet each week. One minute off the bench in the last game of the season sums it up for the Brummie bad lad everyone adores. It's time to go. But with two years left on his contract, that's roughly £28m in his bin. We hear all that old guff about it's not about money, it's about football, but why should Grealish pay the price for the fact that Guardiola sold him a dream four years ago but couldn't make it come true? So now there is an impasse, and it's not the first time it's happened in the blue part of Manchester. City signed Wayne Bridge from Chelsea in 2009. Picking up around £60,000 a week back then was a decent whack for a player, though not in Grealish's league, even accounting for inflation. The move went t**s up and for the next four years full-back Bridge turned up for work, trained and did his bit but was sent on loan to West Ham, Sunderland and Brighton before finally moving to Championship side Reading. He played barely 40 games for City overall but took his full pay cheque every month. It cost the club around £13m in pay — or just over £3m a game. Numbers associated with top footballers since then have gone fully cosmic. Winger Sterling was signed by Chelsea's new owners Todd Boehly and Behdad Eghbali in 2022. Ironically, from Manchester City. He wasn't going to turn down the £300,000 a week being thrust in his hands by the naive Americans. 6 Raheem Sterling struggled on loan at Arsenal from Chelsea Credit: Shutterstock Editorial Sterling is now a lost soul. He spent last season sitting on the bench on loan at Arsenal. He is back now and as part of the infamous 'bomb squad' of Z-listers under coach Enzo Maresca, needs to get out to play. But those wages will now just get in the way. For another two years. Good luck finding a Premier League club willing to shell out £15m a year for a forward who scored one goal last season. Ditto for striker Rashford, who will soon report back to Manchester United from his loan spell at Aston Villa amid interest from Newcastle. And for his Red Devils club-mate Sancho — a Champions League finalist in 2024 who Chelsea paid £5m to get off their hands after a year on loan with them. If no compromises can be found, that's four full-blown England internationals stuck in Limboland come the start of the Premier League season on August 16. They'll be able to pay their mortgages — but what a waste for the game as a whole. LAK OF LOGIC SOUTHAMPTON chairman Dragan Solak claims VAR cost former manager Russell Martin his job. Which doesn't really make sense. The Serbian told BBC Radio Solent that some of the baffling decisions that went against his team last winter robbed them of eight points. He said: 'I'm not saying we would stay in the league, but we would have had a much more competitive run and Russell would definitely still be leading the team.' But if the decisions by VAR were the issue, then it can't have been the fault of Martin. So why didn't Southampton's top man recognise that and stick by his coach? Saints have had four different full-time managers since 2022. Just saying . . . 6 Russell Martin was axed by Southampton but is Ranges' new boss Credit: PA EMPTY THREAT THE Club World Cup is at least trying new things. Introducing individual player walk-ons and scrubbing out-of-date traditions, such as crowds in stadiums, are notable innovations. But best of all is the 'most threatening player' caption which appeared in the corner of my TV screen during Real Madrid's limp 1-1 draw with Saudi minnows Al-Hilal on Wednesday. I assume it's meant in terms of attacking players putting pressure on the opposition goal. Of which there wasn't much in this poor excuse for a game. However, it did make me wonder what fun we could have had with such an analytic tool back in the days of Roy Keane and Duncan Ferguson. STICKIN' BOOT IN THE new Premier League fixtures are out, yet two of its biggest teams are still playing competitive games — at the Club World Cup. And when next season finishes we'll roll straight into a World Cup, having seen nine Prem teams compete in expanded European competitions throughout the winter. It's final, depressing proof that football is 24/7, 365 days a year and now the backdrop to everyday life, every day.
Daily Mail
11-06-2025
- Daily Mail
I visited the real-life Neverland and met the 'Lost Boys' - there's only one way to get there
Finding Neverland was not on the agenda when I opened Google Maps and clicked through random destinations to decide my next holiday. Yet here I am on a desert island, surrounded by towering sea cliffs and shipwrecks along an ancient pirate route in the Palawan archipelago of the Philippines. The Lost Boys brought me here: to the uninhabited island of Cadlao, off the coast of El Nido. But rather than the characters imagined by J.M. Barrie, these Lost Boys are the crew of Tao Philippines, running group expeditions across the West Philippine Sea. These remarkable seafarers, many the sons of ex-pirates, were raised among the 11 islands we are exploring on a five-night cruise covering 155 miles (250km) from El Nido, on Palawan Island, to Coron, on Busuanga. They can navigate the archipelago without a map, catch fish from the boat, climb coconut trees and have a cheeky, but kind. sense of spirit. Our vessel for the first two days is a 74ft wooden Paraw, a traditional Filipino sailboat with tribal carvings and rigging, followed by a more modern boat to cross choppier waters. As we set sail from El Nido port, we are accompanied by a pod of dolphins leaping from the water just metres from the deck while hundreds of tropical butterflies soar between the sails. Laura Sharman visits the uninhabited island of Cadlao, off the coast of El Nido in the Philippines, with help from the 'Lost Boys', the crew of Tao Philippines These remarkable seafarers, many the sons of ex-pirates, were raised among the 11 islands Laura and her group explore on a five-night cruise covering 155 miles (250km) from El Nido Of the Philippines' 7,641 islands, we are staying on five of the most remote, sleeping in bamboo huts on otherwise deserted beaches with the bare essentials – a mattress, mosquito net, modest toilet block, and a picnic bench for sharing meals which are all included in the voyage. Some of the islands lack fresh water so our shower is alfresco, made from a hosepipe and a water tank hung from a tree. We're warned to keep our mouths closed while washing and use bottled water for teeth brushing to avoid an upset stomach. These secluded settings are made possible by Tao's collaboration with local councils which guarantees a minimal ecological impact on these otherwise unvisited islands, keeping them wild. Each day, the Lost Boys fish for our supper, reeling in yellowfin tuna, squid, tilapia and barracuda. This is then barbecued and served on a giant banana leaf with 'Filipino power' – their name for the country's staple dish, garlic rice. It's the definition of sea-to-plate. On our first night, here on Cadlao Island, the feast takes place under the light of our head torches and laughter fills the table, free from the distractions of electricity or Wi-Fi. Of the Philippines' 7,641 islands, Laura is staying on five of the most remote, sleeping in bamboo huts with just a mattress, mosquito net, modest toilet block, and a picnic bench for sharing meals Each day, the Lost Boys fish for the evening meal, reeling in yellowfin tuna, squid, tilapia and barracuda The Lost Boys know just where to drop the anchor for this hidden paradise and we swim to shore accompanied by a school of fish dancing at our feet. Its staggering limestone cliffs, dense vegetation and enchanting lagoon are reminiscent of Peter Pan's Neverland. Beyond its playful monkeys, fascinating monitor lizards and elusive snakes, this uninhabited gem stands as the largest island in the El Nido archipelago with the tallest peak, reaching 609 metres above sea level. And we have it all to ourselves for the night. The trumpeting of a conch shell marks the start of a new day and we set sail for Daracotan Island after an aubergine omelette on the beach. Starfish larger than my palm decorate the seabed and clownfish retreat into their shelters as we explore the El Nido Shipwreck - a tugboat wreck that succumbed to Typhoon Herming in 1987. But it's the deadly box jellyfish that are the most mesmerising marine life we see on our voyage, during the third night, spent on Culion Island. Approaching the shore via a tropical valley, we observe the enormous translucent creatures being swept beneath the boat's bow and I dread to think what would happen if I were to dive in for a swim. Yet the island's 23,000 residents seem largely unphased by their presence, wading out to their boats barefoot. Once known as the 'Island of No Return,' this haunting destination served as the world's largest leprosarium in the early 1900s during the American colonisation, the Lost Boys tell me. Many were banished here under Act 1711 of the Philippine Commission and up to 60 per cent of those treated did not survive their first four years on the island. What was a place of despair slowly evolved into a community of more than 400 households, leading to a sanitary system, hospital, theatre, town hall and school. Stepping onto the island via a rickety pontoon, I am grateful to hear that it is now leprosy-free. It's hard to imagine its dark history as we make our way to our bamboo huts beneath a forest canopy speckled with Pink Rain Lilies. Now it's a very different place. In a clearing bordered by fire torches, women from the neighbouring Coring village are offering a one-hour full body massage for just 1,500 Philippine Pesos (£20), with their children sat beside them playing on smartphones. And by the waterfront is now a manmade plunge pool overlooking the enchanting albeit jellyfish-infested valley. WHAT TO BRING ON YOUR TAO EXPEDITION A 30-litre dry bag to store your belongings for the trip while your main suitcase will remain on the boat Travel insurance including emergency evacuation cover Portable charger Refillable water bottle Cap or hat Sun protection Head torch Jellyfish guard Reef shoes and sandals Small towel and swimwear Lightweight rain jacket Sarong Anti-mosquito spray Rehydration salts and anti-diarrhea tablets Plasters Camera of choice Nearby, the Lost Boys are serving fried lentil balls with Filipino power and vegetables and our team leader Joshua is strumming a guitar by a crackling bonfire. The only activities - besides feasting - are sharing stories by the fire and dancing under the stars. Thirty-two miles (52km) away is our next stop Manlihan Island. Often referred to as Cobra Island, it is tied to a local legend which speaks of Japanese soldiers hiding treasure here during WWII. When fishermen found the chest, it was supposedly decorated with a magnificent golden cobra. Today, the treasure hunt unfolds beneath the surrounding waters teeming with vibrant coral gardens and turtles. Tucking into breakfast onboard the boat, we spot one peeking its head above the water and are soon swimming alongside it. The expedition culminates on Mangenguey Island, at a Crusoe-style camp built from the remains of a typhoon-wrecked resort. Other than feasting, the only activities on this island are dancing under the stars and sharing stories by the fire Its white sands feel like a plush carpet and the water is so clear you can see the bottom when your feet no longer touch the ground. Unlike previous basecamps, this one is not short of amenities with beach volleyball, basketball, lounge spaces with hammocks, a fire dancing show and a beach bar serving beer, wine and cocktails. Behind it all is a dry, grassy hill topped with three bamboo towers for the ultimate sundowners. From here, I look for the second star to the right and am reminded of where it all began on Cadlao Island, the 'Neverland of the Philippines'
Yahoo
22-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
'When Men Don't Have Money, They're Just Less Attractive,' Says Professor Scott Galloway, As Men Without College Degrees Now Earn 22% Less
Men without college degrees are still earning significantly less than they did five decades ago, and the implications stretch far beyond just wages. In the debut episode of the "Lost Boys" podcast, co-host and professor Scott Galloway put it plainly: 'When men don't have money, they're just less attractive. That's more of a hit to them than it is to women.' Galloway shared his own experience of growing up with limited prospects, saying that government programs and education helped change his trajectory. But he worries that today's safety nets are weaker. 'Had I been that kid today, I worry the outcome would have been different,' he said. Don't Miss: Hasbro, MGM, and Skechers trust this AI marketing firm — 'Scrolling To UBI' — Deloitte's #1 fastest-growing software company allows users to earn money on their phones. The 'Lost Boys' podcast—hosted by Galloway and Anthony Scaramucci—dives into the broader struggles of young men, featuring author Richard Reeves. The group argues that young men today are falling behind not just economically but socially, and emotionally. Reeves, who authored the book 'Of Boys and Men,' noted that many young men today are adrift due to the absence of a clear path forward. "We tore up the old script for men, which was breadwinner, head of household, etc., and we didn't replace it with anything," Reeves said. 'And so what that means is a lot of men now feel that they're basically improvising. They basically don't have a script.' The numbers back up their concerns. According to a May 2024 Pew Research Center analysis, young men between the ages of 25 and 34 without college degrees earned a median income of $45,000 in 2023. That's up 15% from 2014, but still 22% lower than what men of the same age earned in 1973 when adjusted for inflation. Trending: Maker of the $60,000 foldable home has 3 factory buildings, 600+ houses built, and big plans to solve housing — 'In the grand scheme of things, young, less educated men aren't where they were 50 years ago,' Pew economist Richard Fry told CBS MoneyWatch. He added that in the 1970s, these men were more likely to be union members and work in manufacturing jobs—industries that have since shrunk. Meanwhile, college graduates continue to outpace their peers in earnings and wealth. Young male college grads today earn around $77,000 annually, while women with degrees make about $65,000. College grads also have an average net worth of $120,000, compared to $31,000 for those with just a high school diploma. 'Higher education generates higher wealth,' Fry said. 'Families with college-educated heads have a higher homeownership rate. And college-educated adults are more likely to have access to 401(k)s and 403(b)s.' Still, Galloway argued that the issue isn't just about education. It's also about identity and purpose. 'You really got to keep an eye on the boy,' he said, referencing how family breakdowns and economic instability can hit young men particularly hard. 'They're actually weaker as humans.'Reeves pointed to the lack of male role models in schools, communities and even homes. 'The teaching profession has become very gendered,' Reeves said. Only 23% of teachers today are men, down from 33% in the 1980s, he noted. Despite some gains in the labor market for young men without degrees, both Pew's data and the 'Lost Boys' podcast underscore a growing concern: without direction, support and economic opportunity, many young men are at risk of falling further behind. Half of Americans agree that college is worth the money only if you don't have to go into debt. According to Pew, just 22% of Americans believe a degree is a good investment if it requires borrowing. That skepticism is strongest among Republicans, six in 10 of whom now believe a college degree is less important than it was 20 years ago. Read Next: Invest where it hurts — and help millions heal:. Deloitte's fastest-growing software company partners with Amazon, Walmart & Target – Up Next: Transform your trading with Benzinga Edge's one-of-a-kind market trade ideas and tools. Click now to access unique insights that can set you ahead in today's competitive market. Get the latest stock analysis from Benzinga? APPLE (AAPL): Free Stock Analysis Report TESLA (TSLA): Free Stock Analysis Report This article 'When Men Don't Have Money, They're Just Less Attractive,' Says Professor Scott Galloway, As Men Without College Degrees Now Earn 22% Less originally appeared on © 2025 Benzinga does not provide investment advice. All rights reserved. Error in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data
BBC News
30-04-2025
- Politics
- BBC News
Young men are struggling. What does this mean for young women?
Young men in the US are struggling. There's no shortage of statistics – about academic achievement, income levels, loneliness, even lack of sex – which indicate that the boys are not alright. Compared to young women, boys are getting left behind. But even having the conversation about how to tackle the young man crisis is complicated, and can leave girls feeling, well, put out. After all, girls and women have had centuries of inbuilt disadvantages to contend with, don't they finally deserve a moment to shine? Add in the bad actors online, those who try to spin the plight of struggling young men into a zero-sum rallying cry for vengeance against women, and the conversation becomes trickier still. One person trying to bring the discussion into a more positive space, for young men and women alike, is Scott Galloway, a professor at New York University who's become a media powerhouse in recent years. He hosts several podcasts – including Lost Boys, which debuts in May. He's now counseling the Democratic Party on messaging around boys and men. And he has a new book coming out this autumn, titled Notes on Being a Man. I wanted to talk to Scott about what's going on with young men today and how all of this affects the lives of young women. We had a really thought-provoking conversation. You can watch (or read) more of it below. Below is an excerpt from our conversation, which has been edited for length and clarity. Katty Kay: Set out the landscape for me on why you're looking at men, what the crisis is as you see it in the mental and physical health of young men. Scott Galloway: Look, the data's overwhelming: Four times as likely to kill themselves. Three times as likely to be addicted, 12 times as likely to be incarcerated. Record levels of depression. We're raising the most obese, anxious and depressed generation in history. For the first time, a 30-year-old isn't doing as well as his or her parents were at 30. Women are making more money in urban centers under the age of 30 than men. And by the way, I think that's a wonderful thing. I think that's a sign of victory and [there's] also more women-owned single homes than men. I don't think we should do anything to get in the way of that. While loneliness is an issue for both genders, it seems to be especially hard, or a lack of a romantic relationship seems to be especially damaging, for a young man. Women tend to channel some of that romantic energy if they don't have it into their friendships and into the professional career, whereas men tend to, young men tend to channel it into things like video games or porn – or begin sequestering from society. So, we just have a group of emotionally and economically unviable young men. And just on a personal level, I sort of relate to it because I was one of those men. And had it not been for just some of the incredible offerings of America, access to affordable higher education. And I've been very open about this, my mother had access to family planning. My mother got pregnant at 47, and had we not had access to family planning and my mum had been forced to carry a baby to term, I would have not gone to college. I would have done what I should have done. I was the only man of the house. KK: I want to look at this from the point of view of what this means for girls: A third of American women now earn more than their partners. But according to my research, and I've spent quite a lot of time writing books about women and girls, in couples where the wife earns more than the husband, they will often lie about it in the US census data to make it look like the man earns more than the wife. So, what does it mean for couples navigating a situation where women are doing better, earning more, getting better educated while men are falling behind? SG: Men have not kept pace in terms of picking up the slack. If they're not adding as much economically, are they picking up the slack emotionally or logistically or domestically around the house? And the reality is, the man's contribution to the relationship, in general, has not kept pace with the woman's ascent and increased contribution. So, basically, women are just sort of doing the math and saying, I'm not getting as much out of this. So, I'm opting out. Two-thirds of women under the age of 30 has a boyfriend. One-in-three men has a relationship. Women are dating older because they want more economically and emotionally viable men. KK: Part of me gets very depressed by this conversation – SG: Tell me about it! KK: Does this just not work, then? Is it zero-sum that if women are going to progress financially and educationally, somehow it's not going to work between men and women? SG: I think there are solutions. I think we should do nothing to get in the way of women being financially independent. I think it's wonderful and women, at the end of the day, should not have to lower their standards. They should be able to reap the rewards of their hard-fought victories, the fact that they work harder, they have better executive function, they're doing well in school, they're footing their skills to an information age economy. Good for them. Go girl. Way to go, sister. Do nothing to get in the way of that. At the same time, I do think there's a series of programs that would level up young people in general that would create more economic viability such that if two people get together, they're economically viable. And right now, that's not the case. We used to have metal, auto and wood shop for men who were meant not to go to college, but to be in the trades. And those are good paying jobs. I think if we raise minimum wage to $25 an hour such that in an economy where unemployment is at historic lows, such that people could just make more money. Mandatory national service such that we could demonstrate heroism and more than anything, I think men and young people need more third places: religious institutions, nonprofit, more freshmen seats, vocational programming, mandatory national service. Let me throw out a very provocative idea: I think young people need to drink more. There is an anti-alcohol movement that has gotten a lot of purchase. Forty per cent of all nightclubs in London have closed down, because young people don't have money and there's an anti-alcohol movement. I think the risk to the 25-year-old liver of alcohol is dwarfed by the risk of anxiety and social isolation. My advice to young people – and I'm being somewhat humorous here – is to go out, get out of the house more and drink more and make a series of bad decisions that might pay off. KK: One of the things that we've talked about and written about in our research was this notion of kind of broadening the concept of care and that obviously women are still doing the majority of the housework and the chores and the caregiving for both kids and for elders. I feel like you are looking at something similar, but in a slightly different way, which is redefining almost the concept of being a provider and a protector. Talk a bit about those two words, because you've done it in a way that I think we're actually getting you and I at something similar, which is understanding what it means to be a provider and a protector in a slightly different way from the traditional words which might be a little off-putting to some women. SG: I'm trying to figure out a way to thread the needle here. I think everybody needs a code to help them guide them through the thousands of decisions that they make every day professionally and personally. Some people get their code from their church, from their family, from their work, from the military. And I'd like to think that young men, if they're so inclined, could really lean into this notion of masculinity. But we need to define it aspirationally. And I think of it as three very basic pillars: provider, protector and procreator. Provider: I think every man at the outset of his career in a capitalist society should assume or aim to take economic responsibility for his household. And by the way sometimes that means realising your partner is better at this whole money thing and being more supportive of her career. When my partner and I had kids, she was working at Goldman Sachs making a lot more money than me. So, I stepped up. I was home for bath time. I organised the house, because I realised how important economic responsibility was for our house. KK: Did you find that emasculating in any way? Did any part of you struggle with the role of being the sort of primary provider? SG: A little bit, and also we can talk about this, but the hard reality is and I don't think we want to admit this: I think women are less sexually attracted to men when they lose their economic viability. Two: protector. I think your default mechanism as a man should be a protector. Men need to be strong. They need to be protectors. Think about the jobs that you think of as being masculine: firemen, cop, military. What do they do? They protect. And it's not only just physical. It breaks my heart that women in New York say they don't feel safe on the subway or that if they see a group of men coming down the sidewalk, they cross the street. We have to train our boys from an early age – KK: Well, that is physical. I mean that is what we're afraid of. SG: 100%, but I think it's more than that. I think being a man is when people are gossiping and criticising other people behind their back, your default mechanism as a man is you defend that person. You may not agree with the transgender community. You may not think we need a law forcing a third bathroom for corporations. But when you see a community being demonised, your default as a man is to defend, to protect. That's what we do. We protect. And then let me go to the third thing, procreator. I think sexual desire, want, wanting to find a mate, I think if channeled correctly, that can be a fantastic motivator and means for being a better man. I mean, what is this all for? We talk about AI, we talk about GDP, we talk about income inequality. The whole point of all of this is so you can establish deep and meaningful relationships. And most people would say the deepest and most meaningful relationships they have are the relationships that have been fostered by finding someone to mate with and their kids. I mean, I'll ask you, what is the most rewarding thing in your life? KK: Hands down, having four children. Not even a question. It's my relationship with my husband and the four children that we have. SG: Sixty per cent of 30 year olds had a kid in their house 40 years ago. Now, it's 27%. Is it because they've decided they don't want a family or maybe they can't afford it? Or maybe the dynamics of online dating? And I want to be clear, I love the fact that women are killing it. And I'm not asking women to lower their standards. I'm asking us to raise the viability to level up all young people. KK: Scott, I appreciate the fact that you're tackling stuff that is awkward, both for men and for women to talk about. But there are bad actors online who are taking some of this disconnect between the achievement levels of young men and young women and turning it into a victim story and turning it into a vengeance story. A lot of my women friends, and particularly younger women, have said to me in recent months, 'God, you know, we feel like we had 2,000 years of disadvantage inbuilt. We were finally getting ahead and now we're being put back in a box again.' How do you navigate that? SG: Well, first off is to acknowledge that the gag reflex is understandable and natural and maybe even makes sense, because from 1945 to, call it 2005, America registered unbelievable prosperity and economic growth. And all of that prosperity was crammed into a third of the population, specifically white dudes born heterosexual. So, my generation just registered massively unfair prosperity. I always acknowledge the majority of my success is not my fault. So, it's understandable that people say, OK, you've got a 3,000-year head start, and now your hair's on fire when men aren't doing well. But what I would urge is the following: empathy is not a zero-sum game. If you go into a morgue, and there's five people who died by suicide, four are men. And you know who wants more economically and emotionally viable men? Women. Our country and our women are not going to continue to flourish unless we have more viable men. And also just to recognise a 19-year-old male, maybe his mother's addicted to opiates, his father's incarcerated, has had a lot of middle class on-ramps, sequestered, is really struggling, has big tech companies trying to get him to engage in porn, gambling, he's got a much more risk-aggressive brain. We can have empathy for these people. Civil rights didn't hurt white people. Gay marriage didn't hurt heteronormative marriage. Our young men are struggling. When I had this conversation five years ago, I was called Andrew Tate with a graduate degree. I was called a misogynist. And the conversation has become so much more productive, because the people who are leading the conversation now are mothers. And what I tell young men when I'm coaching is the way you know you have failed as a man is when you start blaming other people. You start blaming women for your lack of sexual prospects and you start blaming immigrants for your economic problems. That means you have jumped the shark and you really have lost the script. So, there is an aspirational form of masculinity and I'd like to think it'll be a fantastic code for young men. But it all starts with empathy. This is not a zero-sum game. Women still face huge challenges, but we can also acknowledge our young men are struggling and they need our help. --
