14-06-2025
£3 puppuccinos and £10 beef meatballs? Why Gen Z spends £145 a month on their pampered pooches
Gen Z: Can you keep your voice down?
Boomer: Nursing a hangover?
I'm teetotal. But loud noises trigger Bailey's stress disorder.
He's a spaniel, not a Second World War veteran.
He's actually a cavachon: a cavalier King Charles spaniel and bichon frise cross. Cost me £900 on Pets4Homes.
Maybe his 'stress disorder' is the guilt he feels over draining your bank account.
Three-quarters of people my age are worried about their dogs' anxiety levels, according to a survey by Companion Life.
What's stressing him? The effect of Trump's tariffs on Royal Canin?
GEN Z'S PUPS DINE AT FURRY-FRIENDLY SPOTS LIKE PAWSITIVE CAFÉ
He actually only eats £3.50 cans of Lily's Kitchen Chicken & Turkey Casserole for dogs.
Not inherited your veganism yet, then?
Touché. His anxiety is a sign of intelligence, according to TikTok's @HappyWolf, AKA Alex, who posts about dog behaviour problems.
And his obsession with chasing his tail?
Rude. Apparently when your puppy growls, they're 'learning to communicate their boundaries' around being petted, Alex told her 786,000 followers.
So the best way to stop my labrador barking at the postman is to tell him I validate his emotions?
Yes, and to give him Kayode's Relax supplement, along with its 'Collagen Puptides' for a shiny coat, only £30 for 90 scoops.
I'll stick to Bertie's biannual bath with Pets at Home's £3 dog shampoo – plus a Febreze spritz if I smell fox poo.
You Boomers are so tight! Money mag Fortune found us Gen Zers spend around £145 a month on our pets, and you guys just £70.
And yet you're always asking me for cash…
I pay for Bailey's goodies by selling old clothes on Vinted, obviously. It's a full-time side hustle given I'm always WFH.
I'm not sure selling your grubby old jeans is going to fund your penchant for oat lattes and dog sweaters.
Bailey would never drink an oat latte. He prefers a £3 puppuccino from Paws For Coffee in Hampton.
I meant your oat latte addiction! Don't tell me the dog's hooked, too?
He's a sophisticated gastronome.
He ate one of my mud-crusted Birkenstocks! More gour-mutt than gourmet.
He also enjoys the £10 beef meatballs and courgette with fresh tomato purée at West London's Pawsitive Café.
Treat day for my Bertie means table scraps from our Sunday roast, not a remake of the pasta dish from Lady And The Tramp.
It's lit content for his #pupfluencer account. I'm gonna set him up on new dog social-media site Meet My Paws.
They missed a trick not calling it Facebark.
It is a bit like Facebook, actually. You can add local dog owners in your area, and select whether you're looking for friends or romantic partners.
Talk about puppy love.
Mock all you want, but doggy socials are a lucrative career. Winston the Weiner from Brisbane, Australia, is said to earn £3,500 per post.
Winston the Weiner sounds like a better fit for OnlyFans than Facebark…
He's a long-haired mini dachshund who narrates his life.
If he's a talking dog, I'll happily give him £3,500 from my own pocket.
Well, his mum pretends to be him narrating his life, but he looks adorbs while she does it.
What does the bloke you've been seeing make of eating at Pawsitive Café to help Bailey's influencer career?
He's in the bin.
Didn't bring you flowers?
No, he didn't bring Bailey liver treats. I'm with the 54 per cent of Gen Zers who see partners not getting along with their pooch as a dumpable offence.
Gen Z is barking mad.
It's a healthy choice. A recent study shows that owning a dog delivers a mood boost equal to a £70,000 salary increase.
Don't tell Bertie, he'll be demanding a joint bank account and to be written into my will.
Even better? They bring you 'more happiness than a romantic partner'.
At last – something we agree on!
