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Irish Examiner
14 hours ago
- Health
- Irish Examiner
New miscarriage counselling service: trauma and grief that dare not speak its name
The Irish Family Planning Association (IFPA) announced earlier this month that it is expanding its counselling service to include women and couples who experience recurrent pregnancy loss. As part of a HSE-funded pilot project, anyone who has two or more miscarriages in a row is entitled to eight free counselling sessions. 'We've supported the sexual and reproductive health of people in Ireland since 1969, providing specialist counselling throughout that time,' says the IFPA's counselling director, Clare O'Brien. IFPA counselling director Clare O'Brien. 'We're delighted to have received HSE funding that enables us to become the first State-funded organisation to provide the psychological care women and couples need following miscarriage.' This care is sorely needed. Every year, approximately 14,000 women in Ireland have a miscarriage, meaning about one in every four pregnancies ends in loss. According to the Irish Examiner's women's health survey, some 58% of women report that the availability of support in the aftermath of miscarriage is poor. Women and couples have turned to organisations like the Miscarriage Association of Ireland and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Ireland or to independent therapists. 'There was nothing integrated alongside medical care, up until now. Women who have experienced recurrent miscarriage, and their partners, will now be referred to our specialist counselling services by their local maternity hospital,' O'Brien says. The custom of keeping pregnancies secret until after the first scan at 12 weeks can complicate how people grieve, O'Brien acknowledges: 'In other countries, people share their happy news much earlier. But here, the norm is to wait until after that first scan. Because many miscarriages happen in the first trimester, this means many couples won't have told anyone they are pregnant, which makes it harder to share that they have lost their baby.' Couples can grieve alone, as a result. 'And they do so in such individual ways,' says O'Brien. 'Miscarriage can cause sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, numbness, uncertainty, and fear for the future. There are so many unanswered questions about what happened and why. It's a very difficult time for people.' Alice Sheridan: 'The ripple effect of miscarriage goes on for miles. It's the loss of a life and all its possibilities." Photograph: Moya Nolan No heartbeat Alice Sheridan is a 45-year-old from Skerries in Dublin. She believes many women and couples are 'silently screaming and no one is hearing them'. 'The ripple effect of miscarriage goes on for miles. It's the loss of a life and all its possibilities. For some, it's the loss of the prospect of parenthood. It's a whole future that gets abruptly and violently taken away,' she says. Sheridan speaks from experience. She married in 2009, became pregnant three months later, and gave birth to her son, Jack, in 2010. 'I sailed through that pregnancy,' she says. However, when she and her husband tried for another baby, it took them four years to conceive. 'We were so excited, but at the eight-week scan, we realised there was no heartbeat,' she says. 'We'd lost our baby.' Over the next four years, the couple had two more pregnancies, but both ended in miscarriage. None of the pregnancies progressed beyond eight weeks, meaning Sheridan never developed a baby bump. 'In many ways, I felt this mirrored how our grief wasn't seen,' says Sheridan. 'The grief that follows miscarriage isn't always recognised by society. Lots of people don't know what to say to people who have lost pregnancies, so, often, they don't say anything at all.' Jennifer Duggan, Chairperson of the Irish Miscarriage Association at her home in Carrigaline, Co. Cork. Picture: David Creedon Relying on one another Jennifer Duggan is a 40-year-old from Carrigaline, in Cork, who also knows the pain of miscarriage. When she married at 23, she never imagined she would have difficulty starting a family. 'We married in 2007 and were pregnant at the start of 2008,' she says. 'I was already starting to show when we had our first scan at 12 weeks.' They were devastated when that scan failed to find a heartbeat. Their baby had stopped growing at eight weeks. Having been reassured by doctors that their miscarriage was 'just one of those things that happens as part of women's reproductive life', Duggan and her husband soon started trying again. They experienced another loss before having their son Dáithí in 2009. Two years and two more miscarriages were to follow, before their daughter, Síofra, was born in 2011. 'Looking at us from the outside, people probably thought we had planned the perfect family: A boy followed by a girl two years later,' says Jennifer. 'They would never have guessed we had lost four babies along the way.' Both had come from large families, so they yearned for more children. 'But we held off for a while, after Síofra, for fear of something going wrong,' says Duggan. 'But, eventually, the want for another baby grew bigger than the fear.' They had two more miscarriages before they sought help from a fertility clinic. 'They told me my ovarian reserve was low and recommended we try IVF with donor eggs,' says Jennifer. 'But that didn't feel right to us, so we decided to try one last time, and, happily, we had our son Oisín in 2015.' Looking back on it now, Duggan can see how traumatic the pregnancy losses were: 'My husband and I really relied on one another for support. Our family were great at looking after us, but friends often struggled to know what to say. I started trying for a family at the age of 24, when none of them were at that stage of life.' She found the peer-to-peer support offered by the Miscarriage Association of Ireland helpful. 'Because members had been through it themselves, they understood the jealousy I'd feel at others being pregnant or the sadness I'd feel coming up to the due date of a baby I'd lost. They got what I was going through,' says Duggan, who is now chairperson of the association. Alice Sheridan: 'The grief that follows miscarriage isn't always recognised by society. Lots of people don't know what to say to people who have lost pregnancies, so, often, they don't say anything at all.' Photograph: Moya Nolan Grieving alone Sheridan benefited from counselling after her miscarriages: 'It helped me process my loss and figure out what the future would look like for me and my family.' Sheridan found the experience so beneficial that she decided to retrain as a counsellor: 'I wrote my thesis about the disenfranchised grief many feel after miscarriage. People don't always recognise the profound loss involved and how women and couples need that loss to be acknowledged.' Acknowledging that loss is what the IFPA's new counselling service plans to do. 'It's difficult to say what the demand will be, but we do know that one in four women experiences miscarriage and our team of eight counsellors will be there to support them,' says O'Brien. 'All of us are accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy or the Irish Association for Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy and have decades of experience. Women and couples will be able to choose between in-person counselling at six centres throughout Ireland or sessions over the phone or Zoom.' These sessions will aim to validate people's bereavement. 'The grief that accompanies miscarriage is real and deeply felt,' says O'Brien. 'We don't want anyone to feel isolated and alone. We want them to know they can speak to us about their loss, frustrations, and fear, without judgement and with total confidentiality and support.' In the meantime, if you know someone who has experienced pregnancy loss, O'Brien has advice on how to support them. 'Sit with them and listen to what they have to say,' she says. 'Don't feel you have to suggest something to fix the situation, as they have just had a huge loss that can't be fixed. And remember that practical help — like childcare, cooking meals, doing shopping or cleaning the house — can make a big difference when people are going through something as physically and emotionally taxing as pregnancy loss.' If you have experienced miscarriage and want to avail of free counselling from the IFPA, ask your healthcare professional to refer you to the service. Click here to read our National Women's Health Survey. The Irish Examiner Women's Health Survey 2025 Ipsos B&A designed and implemented a research project for the Irish Examiner involving a nationally representative sample of n=1,078 women over the age of 16 years. The study was undertaken online with fieldwork conducted between April 30 and May 15, 2025. The sample was quota controlled by age, socio-economic class, region and area of residence to reflect the known profile of women in Ireland based on the census of population and industry agreed guidelines. Ipsos B&A has strict quality control measures in place to ensure robust and reliable findings; results based on the full sample carry a margin of error of +/-2.8%. In other words, if the research was repeated identically results would be expected to lie within this range on 19 occasions out of 20. A variety of aspects were assessed in relation to women's health including fertility, birth, menopause, mental health, health behaviour, and alcohol consumption.
Irish Examiner
14 hours ago
- Health
- Irish Examiner
Miscarriage: It can be really hard when you don't know what to expect
The vast majority of women who suffer a miscarriage in Ireland feel unsupported by doctors, and have criticised a lack of counselling around such trauma. Only a third of women feel their GPs provide enough support in the aftermath of miscarriage, with family and friends picking up the slack in two thirds of cases. Similarly, just a third believe support from healthcare professionals to be good. The Irish Examiner National Women's Health Survey, conducted by Ipsos B&A, found that one in four women experience miscarriage. Among women who have experienced fertility issues, the figure rises to almost 50%. In the survey of 1,000 women in Ireland, aftercare support receives the loudest criticism. Six in 10 women said the availability of supports such as counselling is lacking. A similar number reports that follow-up from healthcare providers is insufficient. Jennifer Duggan, chairperson of the Miscarriage Association of Ireland, said the findings align with the organisation's experience: 'They, unfortunately, tally with what we hear ourselves from women we speak to." Almost half criticised the quality of information provided by healthcare professionals, citing it as poor or very poor. 'It can be really hard when you don't know what to expect. "You might be told that you may bleed heavily, but you don't know how heavy is too heavy, or how painful is too painful," said Ms Duggan. It can be really scary and frightening to go through that with little to no information. Naomi Collins, 45, from Galway, had her first miscarriage when she was 10 weeks pregnant. At the hospital, she was told that the spotting would progress to miscarriage and that she should go home and wait for it to happen. 'That was the extent of the help I got in the hospital, and nobody checked up on me after that. That was disappointing,' she said. 'The overwhelming feeling was that I felt hollow." Naomi Collins from Corrandulla, Co Galway, miscarried at 10 weeks. Picture: Ray Ryan Given that one in four women miscarry, she said: "There are an awful lot of people who are not aware whatsoever that the woman sitting next to them at work has had a miscarriage, the woman next to you on the bus has had a miscarriage." Some green shoots are emerging in follow-up care. The Irish Family Planning Association (IFPA) announced earlier this month that it is expanding its counselling service to include women and couples who experience recurrent pregnancy loss. The HSE-funded pilot project is available to anyone who has two or more miscarriages in a row, offering up to eight free counselling sessions. "The grief that accompanies miscarriage is real and deeply felt," says the IFPA's counselling director, Clare O'Brien. We don't want anyone to feel isolated and alone. We want them to know they can speak to us about their loss, fear and frustrations without judgment — and with total confidentiality and support. In April, University College Cork's Pregnancy Loss Research Group (PLRG) made a series of resources available to women who experience miscarriage. The resources include accessible booklets that answer questions such as what happens next and what supports are available, and provide details of other women's lived experiences. In response to the survey's findings on miscarriage, Professor Keelin O'Donoghue, PLRG lead and obstetrician at Cork University Maternity Hospital, said: "Pregnancy loss is a common life experience for many women. "Everybody will experience it differently and will have different needs in their care and support after it happens. "The awareness of what is needed and why this is important is improving, but slowly, and there is much more work to be done across society, policy, health services, and communities with regard to pregnancy loss care and supports more generally." Resources are available on the Pregnancy Loss website —
Irish Examiner
2 days ago
- Health
- Irish Examiner
'It still is a barrier': Almost 40% of women feel 'lonely and isolated'
Nearly two in five women feel 'lonely and isolated' and only 8% think it is easy to access mental health services, an Irish Examiner Ipsos B+A survey has found. These barriers remain despite almost half the women surveyed saying it is easier to talk about mental health challenges today than in the past. Some 1,078 women were surveyed across Ireland. Women were asked to say how true this is for them: 'I often feel lonely or isolated nowadays'. Some 12% said they strongly agree with this, 27% said they somewhat agree while 18% said they strongly disagreed. Almost two in every five women have visited a healthcare professional about mental health in recent years. A larger number however - 60% - said they have not seen anyone for mental health supports in recent years. Some issues stood out as pushing women to need help including fertility struggles and experiencing a miscarriage as well as perimenopause and to a lesser extent menopause. However, among women who sought help, 30% said access to a professional was either poor or very poor in their experience. Only 13% said this was very good and 27% said this was good. Crisis café Reacting to some of these findings, operations manager with the Solas Café in Cork, Breda Richardson, suggested childcare could be a barrier. This HSE-funded café offers out-of-hours mental health support for men and women. 'We're creating an out-of-hours crisis café for people experiencing mental health difficulties,' she said. 'We're open Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings, it's a pilot scheme. People can make an appointment for up to 1.5 hours between 6pm and 10.30pm. 'Even with that (flexibility), it still is a barrier for women because a lot of women are on their own and they do have children. And we can't have children come to the café, there still is that barrier there,' she said. 'We have raised that, but it is difficult for people.' Among those who use the café, they see 'people are isolated, people have social anxiety'. Carers, including people caring for elderly relatives or people whose spouse is unwell whether physically or mentally, often attend. They provide 'a listening ear', she said, and can also direct people with more severe illnesses to specialist help. Similar cafes will open in Limerick and Waterford, she added. The survey was carried out by Ipsos B+A for Feelgood, with a nationally representative sample of 1,078 women aged over 16.
