5 days ago
Sunny Side Up: Connections that help the soul
A concerning trend in recent years shows more young people are reporting that they have no close friends, with their numbers in the United States quadrupling over the past 30 years.
Some of this change reflects broader shifts in how we live and work. As communities have become more dispersed and public spaces less accessible, meeting others has grown harder. At the same time, economic pressures and gig work have also eaten into the free time once spent building friendships.
Having close friends means knowing there's someone who truly gets you, who listens without judgement, shows up when it matters, and is there in good times and in bad.
While lacking close friendships has its problems, research into 'weak social ties' has shown that connections don't need to be deep to be meaningful. Weak ties are those light, informal connections that fill social gaps as we go about our day – like a nod from someone in your gym class or a chat with the mamak stall server who remembers your order. These connections can also come from the pickleball group you attend twice a month, or the colleague you always bump into at the lift. These people might not know the intimate details of your life, but they still play an important role.
In the 1970s, American sociologist and Stanford University professor Mark Granovetter found that weak ties were more than just pleasant moments – they also open doors. In his research, people often found job opportunities not through their closest friends, but through acquaintances and distant contacts. This is because weak ties connect us to different networks. As a result, we encounter new perspectives, fresh ideas, and unexpected opportunities.
Psychologists have since found that these connections also support our well-being. Gillian Sandstrom – a professor in the psychology of kindness at the University of Essex – discovered that people who had more daily interactions with weak ties reported greater happiness and a stronger sense of belonging.
These small encounters remind us that we're acknowledged by and connected to others more than we realise, even if only briefly. That sense of being noticed can matter enormously, especially when life feels lonely or overwhelming. Sometimes, the pressure to find a 'best friend' or soulmate leaves people feeling like they're falling short. But you don't need a perfect friendship to feel seen.
To get a more grounded sense of how this plays out in everyday life, I spoke to my friend Joyce Chao, a clinical psychologist and someone I admire for her natural ease in social settings. She said, 'When I meet someone new, I'm usually curious about them – what they're doing, and how they carry themselves. There's always something interesting to learn about a person.'
Her conversations often start off light. She'll enquire about work, interests, and experiences – but that doesn't mean they stay surface-level. 'Sometimes even a short chat gives me a new idea or leads to something unexpected. It might even turn into a longer-term connection,' says Joyce.
As a social butterfly, Joyce values these spontaneous interactions not just for what they might lead to, but for how they add to her perspective. 'Meeting people I don't know keeps me growing. It challenges my thinking and reminds me there's so much more to learn from others.
When I ask her thoughts on the mental health benefits from brief social interactions, she shares that being in the company of others can often alleviate the stress of a busy day and elevate her mood if she finds herself feeling a bit low.
She says, 'Even casual conversations can lift your mood. They make you feel less alone. Recently, I was introduced to the concept of psychological richness and these kinds of interactions can remind us that there is so much to enjoy and find pleasure in when we look for it.
'It also reminds me to take nothing for granted. When someone offers you their time, it's one of the most generous things they can give. Whether you're surrounded by beautiful scenery or sharing a meal with others, there's a lot of joy in pausing to appreciate those moments.'
Simple routines can help us feel more connected. Walking the same route through a park, visiting your regular coffee spot, or stopping by the same local shop can create a kind of social rhythm. You might nod to the same walker, exchange a few words with the barista who remembers your drink, or simply greet the neighbour you pass most days.
If you're after more engagement, look around your community or even just mention to a friend that you're up for joining a class or a group. Many people are looking for the same thing: light, low-pressure ways to connect. Sometimes, even a small exchange can brighten our day or lead to something unexpected.
We might feel that to have something meaningful requires a grand effort or big gesture, but meaningful connections are often found in the small, consistent, and thoughtful ways that lift our collective spirits. Sunny Side Up columnist Sandy Clarke has long held an interest in emotions, mental health, mindfulness and meditation. He believes the more we understand ourselves and each other, the better societies we can create. If you have any questions or comments, e-mail lifestyle@ The views expressed here are entirely the writer's own.
