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Boston Globe
13 hours ago
- Boston Globe
The Karen Read retrial may be over, but we'll never truly be free of the case. (And now what do we do with ourselves?)
Advertisement All around the world, people who couldn't even believe they cared held their breath until, finally, the verdict was read in open court: Karen Read was not guilty of murdering John O'Keefe. Not guilty of manslaughter. Guilty only of operating a vehicle under the influence. Get Love Letters: The Newsletter A weekly dispatch with all the best relationship content and commentary – plus exclusive content for fans of Love Letters, Dinner With Cupid, weddings, therapy talk, and more. Enter Email Sign Up The defense team hugged. The victim's family disappeared from view, as if they had done something wrong. Law enforcement mustered on the steps of the courthouse. The pink bosoms heaved, their hearts full, their eyes on the courthouse doors. It was like waiting for the royal family, or maybe the pope, to take the balcony. Finally, their icon appeared. Read and attorney Alan Jackson flashed the American Sign Language sign for 'I love you.' Attorney David Yannetti pumped his fists. Advertisement 'No one has fought harder for justice for John O'Keefe than I have,' Read said. It was glorious — the release they'd all been waiting for — but eventually the stars left the stage and climbed into dark cars and pulled away, and the crowd dispersed and the traffic in downtown Dedham began to flow, and that seemed to be that. The end of an era. Supporters of Karen Read react after she was found not guilty of second-degree murder on Wednesday in Dedham. Josh Reynolds/Associated Press Or, was it? Painful as it is, perhaps now is a good time to recall the Indeed, no sooner had the jury delivered its verdict than the last three and a half years began to feel like merely the prelude to an even juicer season, starting, of course, with the hunt for the real killer! 'The time has come to scrutinize the actions of [people] who were caught lying — committing perjury during the trial,' a Read supporter wrote on Facebook. On the X platform, the snark and 'gotchas' continued with zest, as if the trial hadn't ended. 'Imagine getting convicted of a DUI and you walk outside to streets full of people cheering you on,' one post read. 'The saddest part of the Karen Read saga is John O'Keefe is still dead and the people who actually murdered him will never be punished thanks to the thin blue line,' read another. It was the same story outside the courthouse, where Read supporters were trying to propel the action forward. 'Bev needs to go! Bev needs to go!' the crowd chanted, waving American flags and gunning for Judge Beverly Cannone. Advertisement Aidan Kearney, the now-supercharged blogger known as Turtleboy, announced that he was at last free to reveal that he's involved with a The plot points kept coming. Some of the trial's witnesses put out a somewhat ominous statement. 'While we may have more to say in the future, today we mourn with John's family and lament the cruel reality that this prosecution was infected by lies and conspiracy theories,' read the statement from Jennifer McCabe, who was with Read when she found O'Keefe's body in the snow; Brian Albert, who lived at the home where O'Keefe's body was found, and others. The town of Canton, apparently desperate to move forward (as if), put out its own declaration. 'We encourage members of the community to move forward together, treating one another with respect through civil, constructive dialogue,' it said. And throughout the region, regular citizens began to face a scary reality: themselves. What would they turn to to take their minds off their own lives now? What are people going to do now that they don't have the Read trial to watch or discuss or argue over? Sure, there are books to read, hobbies to develop, and nonprofits at which to volunteer. Then again, considering the pending Beth Teitell can be reached at
Boston Globe
3 days ago
- General
- Boston Globe
Care for burial plots falls to one family member
Advertisement I guess I don't feel I should have to ask for help. It is expensive and time-consuming. We sure would love to see flourishing plants and no weeds. Get Love Letters: The Newsletter A weekly dispatch with all the best relationship content and commentary – plus exclusive content for fans of Love Letters, Dinner With Cupid, weddings, therapy talk, and more. Enter Email Sign Up TIRED OF TENDING A. This is a beautiful tradition for these sites of memory, and it clearly holds a lot of meaning for you. It's great that you've involved your children and grandchildren, as well, to keep the tradition alive. Sometimes, when we have a need that's gone unmet, the only way forward is to ask for it. So, while you shouldn't have to ask for help, doing so may ease your stress. It may also alert your siblings to an opportunity for service that has slipped their minds. While this is a longstanding tradition in your family, it's possible it doesn't hold the same weight for your siblings as it does for you. So, talking to them about what it means to you and asking for their support could be an invitation for them to dig deeper, as it were. Advertisement Now, when you do this, you should also be prepared for the possibility that the extensive work you do planting and maintaining the plots isn't something that they want to take on. They may prefer a more trimmed back horticultural plan. Everyone commemorates their loved ones in different ways. Try to be open to smaller tasks that they might take on as well. Q. I'm lucky enough to have parents in their 80s in pretty good health and who are celebrating their 60th anniversary next month. The issue is that they want to celebrate it on my birthday. The expectation is that I drive two hours to celebrate them all day, doing whatever they ask of me, then drive two hours to go home. Their actual anniversary is a few days before my birthday and they don't see an issue that I'd like to have my birthday acknowledged (ideally, I could make plans myself). This is not the first time they have hijacked my birthday (or any other day) and will get extremely upset (borderline abusive) when I say I want their party to be on another day. I feel like a prisoner, but they are 80. Do I just suck it up and lose another birthday? I feel like I don't matter. MIDDLE CHILD A. Sixty years of marriage is a significant, and rare, milestone, one that ought to be celebrated. Initially I thought: What's stopping this letter writer from sharing the birthday and being with family? But there are parts of this letter that make me concerned this issue is about more than just what your plans are. Advertisement For instance, you write that your parents have become borderline abusive when you've pushed back on plans before. You write that you feel like a prisoner. So, this isn't just a case of an overcrowded family calendar. There's something amiss in your relationship. I'm curious where your other siblings are in this. I'm curious what you'd like to do on your birthday and ways that your family might make you feel special, even if you did do the actual celebration on another day. If this is bothering you this much, it's worth saying something to your parents about it. Even if you're still planning to come to help them celebrate, you can and should speak up beforehand about what you need. If it feels to you that they've hijacked your birthday, explore that and try to find what can be remedied by them and what's yours to work through. Most importantly, keep yourself safe. If your relationship with your parents is contentious or abusive, you don't have to go. Or you can set a limit for how long you're going to stay. And no matter how long you stay (if you go at all), make sure you do something special for yourself, with people you like and who value you. Even if it's not on your actual birthday, make time to show up for yourself. R. Eric Thomas can be reached at .
Boston Globe
5 days ago
- Boston Globe
Jury #2 has the Karen Read case — but have AI and the betting markets already cracked it?
Advertisement In retrospect, what an innocent time that was, before Karen Read Derangement Syndrome inflamed dinner parties, medical visits, the sidelines of soccer games; before the sighs of a Superior Court judge became social media fodder; before a German Shepherd who may have been mixed up in the ugly business would be Get Love Letters: The Newsletter A weekly dispatch with all the best relationship content and commentary – plus exclusive content for fans of Love Letters, Dinner With Cupid, weddings, therapy talk, and more. Enter Email Sign Up But at least now we're closer to knowing what happened at 34 Fairview Road in Canton that boozy night, right? Alas, to reread that first Globe news story, written by my colleague Nick Stoico, is to weep for how far we have not come: The circumstances of his death do not appear to be definitively known. Read's first trial, in 2024, was declared a mistrial. Last Friday, after closing arguments, the case headed Advertisement 'How do you think the jury will decide in the retrial of Karen Read?' I typed into the query bars of ChatGPT, Claude, and Grok. Bottom line: ChatGPT should keep its mouth shut if it's around the Free Karen Read people. Grok may own a pair of the 'It's too early to say exactly how the jury will rule,' ChatGPT opined around 1 p.m. on Friday, with the jury at lunch, 'but based on the case presentation and public reporting ... expect guilty on the lesser two charges (manslaughter, leaving the scene). 'The murder verdict,' ChatGPT spit out, 'remains a toss-up: I'd lean toward a guilty outcome, given the prosecution's forceful closing and expert testimony — but with enough lingering doubt that a surprise not‑guilty on murder isn't impossible.' But according to Grok, 'the most likely outcome is a not guilty verdict on all counts, particularly second-degree murder and leaving the scene, due to the defense's robust forensic case, discredited prosecution witnesses, and the first trial's juror sentiments. 'Motor vehicle manslaughter is the most contentious,' Grok continued, 'with a risk of a hung jury or a compromise guilty verdict if jurors believe Read's actions contributed to O'Keefe's death.' Advertisement Claude, meanwhile, had to be cajoled to weigh in. 'I can't make a meaningful prediction about how this jury will decide,' it began. 'Jury verdicts depend on so many variables that are impossible to assess from the outside …' 'Just guess!' I said, and when Claude demurred again, I pushed until finally it played ball. 'Alright,' Claude sighed, 'so my completely speculative guess: Not guilty on murder, not guilty on leaving the scene, possibly guilty on the manslaughter charge.' With the chatbots not as definitive as I'd hoped, and some people confidently declaring that Read would be acquitted on all counts after lunch on Monday, and others equally certain the deliberations would go until Friday, and then we'd get another mistrial, I wondered if Polymarket, the betting platform, was offering any action on Karen Read, and indeed it was. On Saturday, the Meanwhile, on Friday, after closing arguments concluded, several well-known YouTube lawyers were on a joint show discussing the case. They were Advertisement 'I do not think I have it in me to do this a third time,' said Kurt Mueller, the Austin-based lawyer who hosts ' Could it be — finally something everyone can agree on? Beth Teitell can be reached at
Boston Globe
5 days ago
- General
- Boston Globe
Friend fears losing wedding invitation over politics
Recently we met for lunch with a third friend, and the subject of the wedding shower came up. Friend One handed Friend Three the shower invitation right in front of me, with no explanation to me. This seemed deliberately designed to be hurtful, and indeed I am hurt and confused. I can now assume I'm not invited to the wedding either. Get Love Letters: The Newsletter A weekly dispatch with all the best relationship content and commentary – plus exclusive content for fans of Love Letters, Dinner With Cupid, weddings, therapy talk, and more. Enter Email Sign Up Do I say anything to Friend One? Should I assume that she's angry about my political views? Should I just ignore the whole situation and pretend I don't care? Or should I cut my losses and just withdraw from the friendship? Advertisement UNINVITED A. Unless something else happened between you and your friend, either around politics or the wedding, I'm inclined to take the Occam's Razor approach here. Is it possible that your invite got lost in the mail and she assumed that you already had it when she gave the shower invite to your other friend? Perhaps you've already thought of this, but it just seems overly involved and cruel for her to talk to you about the wedding for months, then go out to lunch with you and use that moment to humiliate you by inviting the friend. Especially since she hasn't given you any indication, from what I can see, that you've been taken off the invite list. Advertisement Is it possible that the fractious nature of your political disagreements weighs heavily on you, even though you do make up with each other when you get into it? To assume that she's being vindictive about your opinions suggests that perhaps you don't actually think everything goes back to love and respect at the end of each debate. So, ask her: 'Are we OK? I haven't gotten an invite to the shower, and it would hurt to not be there and celebrate your daughter. But I want to check in with you to make sure I haven't misread anything or missed a cue.' Q. My husband, who used to be active and social, has fallen into a funk. This has been going on for some time. He just sits all day and watches TV or is on his computer. I believe him to also be an alcoholic. He will pour a drink in the morning and drink all day. And for no reason his attitude changes — yelling for no reason and calling me names. I retired a year and a half ago and since then have become a housewife who pretty much does everything. He won't seek help. I have talked with a counselor to keep myself 'sane.' Any advice would be helpful. TIRED OF BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF A. It's good that you're talking to a counselor. Your husband's struggle with alcohol and his mood can bring you down, too. It's likely that it's already happening. Advertisement Work with your counselor and/or a trusted friend or loved one on a plan to put some distance between what's happening with your husband and yourself. This doesn't have to be divorce or separation, if that's not something you're willing to consider right now. But for your peace of mind, your quality of life and your safety, it will help you to be out of the orbit of his booze-influenced behavior. You shouldn't have to do everything around the house if you don't want to. And it's unacceptable for him to yell at you or call you names. This is emotional abuse. One of the reasons it's important to put together a plan is so that you can be protected from this abuse and any escalation of his behavior. Also, please look into groups like Al-Anon or SMART Family Recovery, which can help you navigate this living arrangement and the hard feelings you're managing. Once you have a plan in place, tell him that this situation is not acceptable to you, a number of things need to change, and that if he won't seek help, you can't keep going as you have. It may help to have a friend or loved one with you for this conversation. You're in a dangerous situation and your husband has already refused to address the root issue. So, you have to do what you can to protect yourself and to help him to help himself. R. Eric Thomas can be reached at .
Boston Globe
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Boston Globe
Suzy Welch wants to help you live a more authentic life
Suzy Welch's "Becoming You" students get a keychain of values, named by Welch. On the right is "Non Sibi" (Latin for "not for self"), representing a "life-organizing principle of altruism." Courtesy Suzy Welch My favorite is eudemonia , for the principle of self-care, recreation, and pleasure. Welch, a these 15 values after years of studying academic research, observing how people make choices, and paying attention to what stops them from living the life they want. No value is good or bad, she says; they're only a problem when we don't acknowledge and live by the ones we care the most about. 'We come loaded with personal values in a certain ranking, and yet, 99.9 percent of us are not fully expressing the values we hold,' said Welch, 65, a Harvard Business School grad, known for her columns, 'Today' show appearances, books such as ' Get Love Letters: The Newsletter A weekly dispatch with all the best relationship content and commentary – plus exclusive content for fans of Love Letters, Dinner With Cupid, weddings, therapy talk, and more. Enter Email Sign Up She began working on 'Becoming You' — a method for figuring out what you're meant to do with yourself — in 2020, not long after the death of her husband Advertisement She was grieving while trying to figure out what was next and what was important to her. 'I was trying to become me. It's the most meta story in the world. … I think this is why, when I see somebody have a 'Becoming You' breakthrough … it's so personal for me. It's like, 'Fellow traveler — hi .' Advertisement Welch launched her 'Becoming You' methodology with MBA and In May, she released a book, 'Becoming You: The Proven Method for Crafting Your Authentic Life and Career.' (She'll talk about the book with CEO of Boston Globe Media Linda Henry at the Welch wants to reach as many people as possible with 'Becoming You,' which also has a Later this month, she'll host her first people like educators, life coaches, and financial planners, who can use the work with their own students and clients. 'People kept on saying to me … can I get certified in this?," Watch said. 'Finally we went to NYU and said, 'Can we set up a certification program? And NYU was wonderful and said 'sure.'' Suzy Welch's "Becoming You" at a local book event. Aram Boghosian 'There's a whole section in the book about aptitudes and what you're good at. I think there's been a Advertisement As Welch puts it, 'If you're going to live and support yourself, pay the mortgage, and all the other things, you've got to know what you're good at — and your economically viable interests." There are obstacles, of course. Welch devotes a section of the book to 'The Four Horsemen of Values Destruction,' what she calls the roadblocks that stop us from staying true to what we want. More on that later, too. Welch happened to be unfurling her 'Becoming You' classes as people came out of COVID lockdown, questioning why they made certain choices. They were introspective and ready to do some work. As an advice columnist and relationship writer, I'm interested in how and where people find help, whether it's through therapy, books, counseling, coaching, or other avenues. Suzy Welch lectures during her "Becoming You" seminar at New York University in June, 2024. Vincent Tullo After jumping into Welch's work, I did have, as Oprah might say, an A month ago, I bought a bike. I'd realized, after a few vacations, that I enjoy biking on a safe and scenic path. The other day, I rode my brand new bike in great weather; I felt like I was 6 years old, with no cares in the world. I was shocked at how free — and myself — I felt on this bike. Later, I felt guilty. Who was I to be running around — on a Wednesday! — on this bike? How dare I not be working or helping my loved ones? Advertisement Welch's book and method had an answer for that. After taking Welch's questionnaire, I learned a big, maybe simple thing: I value free time and fun activities more than I've ever admitted to myself. I would have guessed my one major value was 'workcentrism,' perhaps followed by what she calls 'familycentricism,' but the latter wasn't even in my top five. Welch said people are often surprised by their results. 'They're staring into the face of something they've been denying or repressing. … The phrase I hear the most is, ' This explains everything .'' During our interview, Welch told me I might have been lying to myself about prioritizing my family — perhaps in martyr-ish ways — without making me feel like a jerk. She is good at talking about uncomfortable things. Her style, to me, is a mix of CEO, journalist, influencer, friend, or 'fancy aunt who does not put up with your nonsense.' She shares personal stories and moments when she admits she was a bad mom or scared about her life choices. I attended two Welch events during her recent visit to Boston, including one at MIT, where she spoke to a mostly student audience, some of whom seemed very freaked out about their career prospects amid federal budget cuts. Welch was quick to talk about her own mistakes. She quoted 'Moonstruck' and referenced 'The Iliad.' She spoke about waiting out fraught moments in economic and political history, and acknowledged that many people are in one, so they might as well be honest about what they want. In the audience was Abby Witkin, a longtime Welch fan, who held a copy of '10-10-10,' Welch's guide to decision making. Advertisement Witkin started reading Suzy Welch's columns about business and life in 'I was like, what a perfect thing to do for my birthday — go into a class where you're actually looking at the intersection of all of these [values], and you're trying to find your area of transcendence.' Witkin said she always knew she really liked work , but the program helped her accept that it was OK to love it more than a lot of other things. '[Suzy] doesn't call it workaholism. It doesn't have a negative connotation.' I'm still diving into all of this, especially Welch's ideas about those Horsemen that stand in the way of us living our values (my issues are all about a fear of economic instability). I know this is all very self-helpy, but in Welch's words, she wants us in an area of transcendence. I get glimmers of it when I'm writing, and absolutely when I'm on that bike. 'Look, you can go through periods of your life where it completely ebbs away from you — because life happens. You get a divorce, you get fired. … But then, if you know this stuff about yourself, and you know what the picture of your authentic life is, you can fight another day,' she said. 'But those moments when you're living authentically — that is when you're very exquisitely alive, that's your purpose — and they're worth fighting for. It's worth doing." Advertisement Meredith Goldstein writes the and hosts the . She writes about relationships. She can be reached at
