Latest news with #Derek
Metro
9 hours ago
- Health
- Metro
How I stopped feeling insecure when my partner didn't orgasm
Looking up at Barry's* face, I noticed a bead of sweat running down his forehead. We'd been having sex in the same position for nearly 30 minutes; Barry looked exhausted and ready to give up – and he wasn't the only one. But I didn't want to be the one to throw the towel in, so I waited patiently until he himself finally admitted what we both knew – the orgasm wasn't coming. We'd tried a lot of different things to help Barry climax – oral sex, mutual masturbation and a variety of positions – but nothing had worked. You might think this would be a crisis – an event that prompted some serious introspection. But we had known each other for a while and weren't bothered. 'Don't stress it,' I told him, adding, 'Next time'. And that's what I want men and women to realise – it's simply not a big deal, for either party, not to finish every time. While it is true that there's an 'orgasm gap' between genders – with women having far fewer orgasms during sex – it is equally true that men can also struggle to 'get there'. Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! A 2022 study showed that only 30% of women have an orgasm every time they have sex, and while the number for men was far higher at 61%, there still was far from a perfect success rate. And there are lots of reasons for that, from stress, to medication side effects, or simply just personal preference. Nowadays, I know not to take it badly if a man can't climax, but back in my early 20s, I wasn't quite so informed. Like with Derek*, a man I was sleeping with back then. He was tall and strong – and had a sexual stamina like nothing I'd ever experienced. There was just one issue: He took a very long time to orgasm, if he did at all. I'm not shaming my former lover but you see, Derek was large in more ways than one, meaning our hours-long sessions would start to get pretty painful for me. Because our situation was quite new and we were quite young, we didn't talk about this in any big detail. However, Derek acknowledged that he knew that it took him 'forever' to ejaculate. To borrow his own words, 'It's always been this way for me, I just need more time than most guys.' Eventually, the fact that Derek was so at ease with his own personal orgasm gap made me relax, too. Sometimes he came, sometimes he didn't – but it didn't stop us from having great sex. If my vagina felt a bit sensitive after a while, we would swap penetrative sex for something else or stop altogether. But not every experience has been quite this easy. I've been with men who went cold if I even mentioned them struggling to orgasm, even if I reassured them we were having great sex. Some of them didn't acknowledge that anything was amiss, while others just shrugged it off without speaking. Of course, if you are discussing someone else's orgasms, no matter their gender, it's crucial not to sound accusatory or judgemental. Stay away from phrases like 'Why can't you cum?' or, 'It's me, isn't it?'. That's easier said than done. Believe me, I understand that it can be stressful and anxiety-inducing if you are giving someone your A game and there's no 'end result'. But remember this: Some people, men included, are happy just enjoying the sensations of sex and consider this a 'win' in itself. Secondly, and much more importantly, don't assume you know why someone doesn't orgasm. One ex once told me that he'd had a long day at work and he really enjoyed our sex, but he was too distracted that night to climax. Another lover had been working hard outdoors all day, and in a number of ways simply didn't have the juice. My current boyfriend doesn't always orgasm during sex either – but there's no nefarious reason behind it. Sometimes, Alex prefers for just me to climax, because he finds it as rewarding as if he'd cum himself. Other times, we both like having lazy, slow sex that is about us feeling close and connected, not rushing to an imaginary finish line. Despite being quite confident in myself and our sex life, even now I admit that I have occasionally wondered if perhaps I've not done 'enough' to help him reach the 'Big O'. There's no shame in feeling insecure – it happens to all us, even the bold, confident sex columnists of the world. But when this happens to me, I do the same thing every time: I ask Alex for reassurance – and he confirms what I already know. Him choosing not to pursue an orgasm at all costs has nothing to do with my sexual skills or attractiveness. More Trending Nothing is 'wrong'. Like me, he sometimes just 'doesn't feel like having an orgasm'. It's all about communication. So let's all stop worrying, and enjoy our sex lives, whatever the outcome. View More » Names have been changed Do you have a story you'd like to share? Get in touch by emailing Share your views in the comments below. MORE: I can be myself in the UK – but now I can't go home MORE: JK Rowling has alienated trans people – and now her famous friends MORE: 'I was the first person to survive rabies without a vaccination'
Daily Mirror
14 hours ago
- Politics
- Daily Mirror
Kate Garraway feared 'pressure' to make decision over husband Derek Draper
Kate Garraway has been speaking about the Assisted Dying Bill on Good Morning Britain and told viewers she was in two minds about the proposed legislation Good Morning Britain's Kate Garraway has shared her concerns about the potential impact of an Assisted Dying Bill, admitting she might have felt "pressured" to make life-changing decisions for her late husband Derek Draper if such legislation had been in place. Derek passed away at the age of 56 on January 5, 2024, after suffering a heart attack just before Christmas 2023, following a long battle with Covid since his diagnosis in 2020, which left him needing constant care. Speaking about the bill set for a vote in Parliament on June 20, she expressed: "The medical professionals, though feel they would like to have clarity of law to help people, because...I've sort of been on both sides (and) I think there were times when I could have been pressured with Derek that there was no chance of recovery. "And to sort of assist... and fought very hard against it, which I was right to do, because he came through. But also (I've been in) a situation where somebody's been in an excruciating amount of pain and the last 10 days of their life were unbearable to watch, let alone, for them to endure, so I could see both sides but it's getting legislation that protects both, isn't it?". Additionally, Kate revealed another distressing incident during Derek's illness when bailiffs arrived demanding council tax while he was comatose in 2020. "In the latter half of 2020 somebody came to the door a bailiff. It was all in Derek's name, and they said, you have to pay your year's council tax plus the fines, because we've been chasing you with the letters. "It was my fault," she admitted candidly, revealing that she had neglected to open mail addressed to her comatose partner due to being mentally elsewhere, reports the Express. " speed that happened was six weeks between he was in a coma, he hadn't paid our council tax to having bailiffs at the door," she recounted the shocking escalation. Kate has been candid about her financial struggles since Derek's death having previously confided that she incurred significant debt due to her late husband Derek's care costs, which totalled £16,000 per month. In a previous admission, the 58-year-old mum of two, shared: "I've just had to withdraw the bit you can tax-free for my pension to pay belated bills for my husband that passed away. "I am ashamed of the fact that I am in debt because I have an incredible job that I love, that's very well paid. I'm not a carer travelling miles, paying their own transport to go and help somebody for minimum wage. "I'm somebody that is very well paid and so I just feel a shame that I couldn't make it work."
Scottish Sun
14 hours ago
- Business
- Scottish Sun
GMB star Kate Garraway reveals she had bailiffs at her door while late Derek Draper was in a coma in hospital
Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) KATE Garraway today revealed how she had bailiffs at her door while her late husband Derek Draper was in a coma. The Good Morning Britain presenter, 58, opened up about a tough time she faced while her husband was stricken in hospital with a Covid-related illness. Sign up for the Entertainment newsletter Sign up 4 Kate Garraway revealed a shocking story on Good Morning Britain today Credit: ITV 4 Kate revealed that she was faced with bailiffs as Derek was stricken in hospital Credit: PA 4 Kate with her beloved late husband before he was taken ill Credit: Shutterstock Kate - who's husband Derek sadly passed away last year - revealed her shocking story during today's GMB. Her revelation came during a chat with money expert Martin Lewis who is campaigning to change the way councils call in debts of unpaid council tax. Kate - who has been faced with a stressful £800,000 debt battle following the death of her beloved husband - then revealed how whilst her husband Derek was in a coma after being stricken by Covid, bailiffs turned up at her house. She revealed it was after she had unknowingly not paid her council tax for six weeks. More on Kate Garraway FINANCE FIGHT Kate Garraway update on her stressful £800k debt battle and £288k tax bill Kate explained the reason for the bill going unpaid, was because her husband was responsible for paying the council tax. She said she had "no idea" it was going unpaid - otherwise she would've paid it. Kate revealed how "awful" it had been for her family when bailiffs suddenly turned up at her door, especially during such a tough time. FINANCIAL NIGHTMARE This latest revelation comes after The Sun revealed how Kate had received a much-needed financial boost in her struggle to pay back huge debts. The cost of caring for Derek during his four-year health nightmare ran into hundreds of thousands of pounds. At the same time, Derek's psychotherapy firm Astra Aspera Ltd - which was jointly controlled by Kate - went bust owing hundreds of thousands to creditors, including a huge sum to HMRC. GMB's Kate Garraway reveals she still can't pay 'excessive debt' for late husband Derek Draper's care - on anniversary of his death A liquidator's report revealed how Kate has been trying to repay debts as well as a more palatable revised total. HMRC has submitted a preferential claim of £288,054, a third of its previous submission of £716,822. It's not known why the HMRC have dramatically dropped their demand. There are also creditor claims of and £196,548 from four other firms including a £50,000 bank loan. However, at this stage, there will be no pay out for any creditor after liquidator fees of £32k and 40 per cent of assets have been realised. A representative for Kate said: "Kate has met all that the liquidators of Derek's company have asked for and more over the past four years. 'She doesn't recognise these figures and is shocked that it's being presented in this way by them. "Caring for Derek and supporting her family when Derek could no longer run his own businesses has taken a huge financial toll on her but she's determined to put things right.' 4 Kate has opened up about the financial nightmare she has faced following Derek's death Credit: Shutterstock MORE MONEY WOES Meanwhile, earlier this week, Kate revealed she had been hit by another financial blow. The popular presenter told fans she's been frozen out of her bank accounts after changing her phone. Taking to social media to beg the bank for help, she wrote: 'Please please get in touch with me. 'I have not been able to access any of my Barclays accounts current or savings since Friday due to changing my phone handset and can't get through to anyone on customer service - please dm me.' Luckily Kate's plea was answered and the bank replied, telling her to send more information via direct message.
The Irish Sun
14 hours ago
- Business
- The Irish Sun
GMB star Kate Garraway reveals she had bailiffs at her door while late Derek Draper was in a coma in hospital
KATE Garraway today revealed how she had bailiffs at her door while her late husband Derek Draper was in a coma. The Good Morning Britain presenter, 58, opened up about a tough time she faced while her 4 Kate Garraway revealed a shocking story on Good Morning Britain today Credit: ITV 4 Kate revealed that she was faced with bailiffs as Derek was stricken in hospital Credit: PA 4 Kate with her beloved late husband before he was taken ill Credit: Shutterstock Kate - who's husband Her revelation came during a chat with money expert Martin Lewis who is campaigning to change the way councils call in debts of unpaid council tax. Kate - who has been faced with a stressful £800,000 debt battle following the She revealed it was after she had unknowingly not paid her council tax for six weeks. More on Kate Garraway Kate explained the reason for the bill going unpaid, was because her husband was responsible for paying the council tax. She said she had "no idea" it was going unpaid - otherwise she would've paid it. Kate revealed how "awful" it had been for her family when bailiffs suddenly turned up at her door, especially during such a tough time. FINANCIAL NIGHTMARE This latest revelation comes after The Sun revealed how Most read in News TV The cost of caring for Derek during his four-year health nightmare ran into hundreds of thousands of pounds. At the same time, HMRC . GMB's Kate Garraway reveals she still can't pay 'excessive debt' for late husband Derek Draper's care - on anniversary of his death A liquidator's report revealed how HMRC has submitted a preferential claim of £288,054, a third of its previous submission of £716,822. It's not known why the HMRC have dramatically dropped their demand. There are also creditor claims of and £196,548 from four other firms including a £50,000 bank loan. However, at this stage, there will be no pay out for any creditor after liquidator fees of £32k and 40 per cent of assets have been realised. A representative for Kate said: "Kate has met all that the liquidators of Derek's company have asked for and more over the past four years. 'She doesn't recognise these figures and is shocked that it's being presented in this way by them. "Caring for Derek and supporting her family when Derek could no longer run his own businesses has taken a huge financial toll on her but she's determined to put things right.' 4 Kate has opened up about the financial nightmare she has faced following Derek's death Credit: Shutterstock MORE MONEY WOES Meanwhile, earlier this week, The popular presenter told fans she's been frozen out of her bank accounts after changing her phone. Taking to social media to beg the bank for help, she wrote: 'Please please get in touch with me. 'I have not been able to access any of my Barclays accounts current or savings since Friday due to changing my phone handset and can't get through to anyone on customer service - please dm me.' Luckily Kate's plea was answered and the bank replied, telling her to send more information via direct message.
South Wales Argus
2 days ago
- Sport
- South Wales Argus
Former Rogerstone cricketer receives British Empire Medal
Derek joined the club in 1952 and for the last 70 years has been a driving force for the club's success. He has moved through the ranks as player, to fixture secretary then to Chairman - a position he's held since 2001 when a dear friend of his fell ill and could no longer continue. He has dedicated his retirement to serving cricket and preserving the history of his local community. He has supplied the Museum of Welsh Cricket in Sophia Gardens with an extensive collection of the club's history and regularly finds himself involved with Sporting Memories, a charity organization that helps older people to reminisce and reconnect through the power of sport. While the sport itself may not have changed in the last 70 years, the community surrounding it has but Derek still finds himself devoted to growing the squad he came to know and love all those years ago. Despite being well into his eighties, Derek is still involved in the coaching of the Club's junior division, all whilst ensuring that the history and achievements of the Club have been preserved and recorded. Derek says his nomination was put forward by the local council, rather than the cricket authority. His active involvement with all things Rogerstone is the likely cause for this, with his commitment to the community and the preservation of the town's heritage and history being among one of the reasons he is so well known by locals. Derek said: 'I'm just emotional and very pleased.' 'I've been involved with Rogerstone Welfare since 1952, and I really enjoy it to this day. It keeps me active – I can just about handle coaching the Dynamos children at my age of 86 – and it keeps me mentally active as well. I'm going to keep going for as long as I'm able to! 'I would not have been able to do this without the help of my very tolerant wife Wendy' This accolade is the latest in a long list of achievements that include a Rogerstone Community Award, an OSCA award for Proactive Leadership and a Safeguarding Award from Cricket Wales.
