Latest news with #CarrieHoward
Daily Mirror
12 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Brit knocked unconscious by single punch during row with Benidorm bouncers
The unidentified British tourist and his pals were getting rowdy with bouncers in a Benidorm bar when a local intervened and knocked him unconscious A British tourist was knocked out cold when a Spanish local sucker-punched him during a row with bouncers in Benidorm. A fellow reveller captured the moment the unidentified Brit fell to the floor after the vicious sucker punch at a bar in the Spanish resort town on Sunday night. Eyewitnesses recalled how another pubgoer had asked him and his pals to leave when a bouncer decided to intervene. The tension racheted up and things became "heated", one person said. In the footage, the Brit dressed in a white outfit is pushed by a group of men. His friend then steps in before the man is brutally punched in the face and falls to the floor. Shockingly, his leg can also be seen bending unnaturally back towards his hip. A woman with a pink cowboy hat on her head rushes over and crouches over him while the man's friends carry on with their brawl. Another reveller said: "It's always the d***head Brits - it makes you ashamed to be a Brit sometimes. We'd been in there for two hours or so - it seemed a nice bar and all of a sudden we heard a bit of a commotion. "There was a smaller guy who we think was a local and he looked like a bouncer but looked a bit too small to be one. He was asking them to leave, and then the larger bouncer came over and things got a bit heated. It looks like the smaller guy then knocks him out. He was out cold, and his leg looked dislocated." The man's condition is currently unknown. It comes months after a Brit was left fighting for his life after being punched by a bouncer outside a Benidorm nightclub. Andrew Frazer, 43, was allegedly floored by a doorman in an 'unprovoked' attack during a lads' break to the famous Costa Blanca resort just over a week after proposing to long-term partner Carrie Howard. The father-of-two, from St Helens, Merseyside, had to have part of his skull cut away to relieve swelling on the brain. He was taken back to the UK with a gruelling 27-hour journey in the back of a private ambulance because his injuries were too severe for a medical flight. Overnight it emerged a 42-year-old Romanian man had been arrested over the early-hours incident on November 14 outside a pub in Benidorm's famous Little England area. The unnamed suspect was held last week on suspicion of a crime of wounding.
Yahoo
07-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
4 Things That Are Not Your Responsibility — Even If Your Anxiety Says They Are
Between work stress, family issues and just the reality of being human, it's easy to feel the pressure of the world on your shoulders. While certain stressors in life are inevitable, others don't need to be. Unfortunately, it can be hard to separate these things out, especially when anxious thoughts tell you that situations or reactions are your fault when actually they're not. For example, I personally am often focused on making other people happy ― even if that means totally diminishing my own needs. If someone's sad and I fail to cheer them up, I tell myself I should have done more or should have led them to a better decision to begin with. How's that for unfair and unnecessary pressure? If you've ever felt responsible for disappointing someone or felt at fault for someone's poor decision-making, you'll want to read on. Below, therapists share what's actually not our responsibility — even when we feel like (or have been told) it is. You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings or emotions. 'Each person's responsible for their own emotional responses, and it's important to remember that we can't control or dictate what others feel,' said Carrie Howard, a licensed clinical social worker and anxiety coach. Our behaviors and actions can influence how someone feels, but their emotional response is their responsibility. For example, if a friend asks for a favor and you say no to their request, they may be understandably disappointed, but that disappointment is not your responsibility to manage. 'It's not my job to say yes to help them avoid the disappointment they might feel as a result of me saying no,' Howard added. This idea often results in pushback from clients, noted Emmalee Bierly, a licensed marriage and family therapist, co-owner of The Therapy Group and co-host of the 'ShrinkChicks' podcast. 'Other people's happiness is not your responsibility. Other people's sadness is not your responsibility. Every time you say this, some client will be like, 'Well, what do you mean? I made them feel that way,'' Bierly said. 'We're not saying that we can't hurt other people or that we shouldn't care how we treat people,' Bierly said. Just don't fall into the trap of sacrificing yourself to make someone feel better or feeling responsible for someone's discomfort. It can be tough to watch a loved one make decisions that are causing them harm, but that is not something you can control. 'When we see someone making decisions that are negatively affecting their lives, we might want to swoop in and rescue them ... seeing their well-being as our responsibility,' Howard said. But fixing someone's problem for them takes away the chance for them to learn and grow from their actions. 'Other people's decisions are their responsibility, and we can let go of the idea that we are responsible for their choices,' she said. 'The outcome of your efforts is not in the realm of your responsibility. What I mean by that is we often stress about achieving some sort of perfect outcome, which is really an unattainable standard,' Howard said. 'There are often many factors involved in what the outcome may be, some of which are out of our control.' For example, getting a promotion at work is out of your control. You can't control your company's budget or the decisions of higher-up managers, but you can control the steps you take to get a promotion. Instead of focusing on the outcome, focus on your efforts, she said, and let go of the result. It may feel like your responsibility to meet expectations from your family, friends or society as a whole, but it's really not. 'For example, just because it's someone's expectation for you to call them every day doesn't mean it's your responsibility to do so,' Howard said. 'Or just because society might imply that you need to be 'the good girl' that complies and doesn't make waves for anyone else, doesn't mean it's your responsibility to fall into that role.' These expectations are often unfair or don't align with your values. 'It's important to remember that just because there's an expectation, doesn't mean it's necessarily your responsibility to comply with it,' Howard said. 'Our anxiety hates it when we feel out of control,' Howard explained. 'So it's always going to be urging us back to a place of feeling more in control, even if what we're getting here is really just a false illusion of control.' When your anxious thoughts try to convince you that things like other people's decisions or emotions are your responsibility, it's your brain's way of trying to make you feel safe and less out of control, Howard said. 'Your anxiety is really attempting to protect you here, it's just that it's a bit misguided in its efforts, since a false sense of control or responsibility isn't really helping anything,' she added. It's important to understand the relationship between anxiety and control, Howard noted. 'First of all ... it increases our self-compassion when we understand what our brain is trying to do, but also it allows us to understand why there's such a strong urge to take responsibility for things that aren't ours.' This way, you can be in a better position to let go of those things, she said. Your anxiety also wants to keep you from sitting in discomfort, Bierly said. For instance, if you cancel plans with a friend, you'd likely rather over-explain your situation to avoid feelings of discomfort than just say, 'Sorry, I can't make it.' 'At the end of the day, you're actually really uncomfortable with making people upset, because that doesn't feel good for any of us. But we're also highly socialized — because we are community beings — to make other people happy, to not hurt others ... that's a good thing,' Bierly said. 'You are responsible for how you communicate, how you treat others and how you take care of your life, and your life also is the systems around you,' Bierly said. 'So, if I have three roommates and I leave the kitchen a mess, it's going to affect my roommates ... they wanted to use that pan to make their eggs tomorrow, and I didn't take it out of the sink. But, if someone was like, 'Oh, I'm depressed from that,' no that's not accurate, right? Things should have appropriate reactions.' 'Al-Anon has one of my favorite sayings ever, which is 'clear is kind' ... being clear to people about ourselves is our responsibility,' Bierly continued. Being clear, honest and kind are all things we can control, we can't control how someone will feel, how they'll react or what will happen next, she said. If you're clear about your boundaries and someone freaks out, you aren't responsible for their freak out. 'That's their shit,' Bierly said, adding that people's responses often come from the lens in which they see the world — their experiences, their history, trauma, how they were raised, and more. 'Sometimes you try your hardest and you say it the nicest way, you try to be clear, and it doesn't matter because it went through whatever lens someone else is looking at, and we don't have control over their lens of the world,' Bierly explained. It's not on you to try to control those around you or hold the responsibility of their emotions on your shoulders. That's an unfair burden that'll set you up for failure again and again. And, beyond failure, it'll just add more anxiety and stress to your life. Therapists Say These 6 Common Habits Are Fueling Your Anxiety The 1 Thing Therapists Say Harms Your Happiness The Most 6 'Soothing' Activities That Are Secretly Causing You More Anxiety
Daily Mirror
23-05-2025
- Health
- Daily Mirror
Mum of two given devastating diagnosis after symptoms were dismissed as vertigo
A mum of two thought her life could begin again after receiving treatment for breast cancer, but then she was given a devastating diagnosis after her symptoms were initially dismissed as vertigo A mum who thought she'd beaten cancer was devastated to find it had returned- after her symptoms were repeatedly brushed off as vertigo. Carrie Howard, 43, rang the bell in 2023 after being given the all-clear from triple-negative breast cancer following months of chemotherapy, a mastectomy and radiotherapy. At the time, scans from her neck down showed no sign of disease and the receptionist from Wigan, G reater Manchester, thought 'life could begin again.' But nearly two years later, in December 2024, Carrie started suffering from headaches and dizziness. She visited her GP three times, but each time she was told it was vertigo and sent away with tablets. Her symptoms worsened and she took herself to A&E at Wigan Hospital in February, where doctors revealed her cancer had not only returned but had spread to her brain, progressing from stage three to stage four. 'When I rang the bell thinking I had beaten cancer, it felt like a weight lifted and life could begin again,' Carrie told PA Real Life. 'We thought the chemo had mopped up cancer anywhere else in the body and I was cancer-free. 'But the brain tumour was there all along. It was very hard having to sit the boys down again and say 'mummy has to go through more treatment'. If I knew at the time, I would have had a private MRI scan to check my entire body.' Carrie first found a pea-sized lump in her left breast in July 2022 while putting on her pyjamas. An MRI scan at Wigan Hospital confirmed it was stage three triple-negative breast cancer - a fast-spreading and aggressive type and that it had already reached her lymph nodes. 'It was a shock,' she said. 'I thought they would run some tests and send me home but they said the chemo would mop it up and rid me of it. 'It was brutal – I lost my hair, my eyelashes, my eyebrows but I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and was fighting to beat it.' In January 2023, she had a mastectomy and underwent radiotherapy. A follow-up scan three months later showed no signs of cancer, and she rang the bell in celebration. 'It felt worth it,' she said. 'We'd put our lives on hold and now it was over.' She slowly returned to normal life, going back to work, cheering her sons on at football training and enjoying a family holiday in Turkey. But in December 2024, Carrie started getting headaches, veering to the right when she walked and feeling as though she might collapse. Despite three GP visits and prescriptions for vertigo, she returned to A&E, where an MRI scan revealed a shadow on her brain. 'Doctors did an MRI and then took us into a separate room and told us there was a shadow on the scan,' she said. Further scans confirmed that her triple-negative breast cancer had travelled to her brain before the chemo and had managed to survive the treatment. The brain is protected by a blood-brain barrier, which stops harmful substances and in some cases chemotherapy from getting through. Doctors diagnosed Carrie with stage four metastatic brain cancer. She had a seven-hour operation to remove a large tumour, followed by targeted radiotherapy to shrink a second, smaller growth. Now, the family is waiting for results to find out whether she is finally cancer-free. Her husband James, 43, a sales manager, said: 'We're hoping that it's all been removed and that Carrie gets to ring the bell again. But we also have an anxiety of whether it will come up somewhere else. 'Carrie still has a lot of fight in her but you can only withstand so much in one go.' The family is now researching alternative treatments and clinical trials both in the UK and abroad. James added: 'Wigan Hospital has only treated two other people who had triple-negative cancer that moved to the brain so the data just isn't there. We don't know what comes next so we need to be prepared.' Carrie's best friend, Rebecca van der Lee, 41, has set up a GoFundMe which has already raised £17,540 to help fund future treatments. A charity night with live music and karaoke will be held at The Farmers Arms in Bispham, Lancashire, on June 6 to help raise even more. 'The support has been amazing, it's just incredible,' Carrie said. 'Friends are giving support and everyone is rallying together.' Carrie and her family are raising awareness around secondary cancers, lump checks and the need for more full-body scans when cancer spreads to lymph nodes. A link to Carrie's GoFundMe can be found here.
