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Yahoo
a day ago
- General
- Yahoo
13 Reasons Men Leave Long Marriages In Mid-Life
Marriage isn't just a ceremony or a legally binding contract; it's a journey that two people embark on, often expecting to last a lifetime. Yet, for reasons as varied as the personalities involved, mid-life can be a turning point where some men choose to walk away. This isn't just a story of betrayal or liberation—it's a complex interplay of emotions, desires, and life stages. Here, we delve into the undercurrents that can set men adrift, exploring why they sometimes choose to leave long marriages in their mid-life. As men hit mid-life, the once-looming specter of mortality becomes more tangible, prompting a desire for reinvention and rediscovery. They start questioning the choices they've made, yearning for a blank slate to redefine who they are beyond the roles they've played—as a husband, a father, or a provider. Often, this craving for a personal renaissance becomes an irresistible force, pulling them away from the familiarity of a long marriage. It's not about leaving their partner behind, but rather finding a piece of themselves they feel they've lost. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, the concept of 'mid-life crisis' is real, with men often seeking to assert their identity anew. They might choose to pursue passions or dreams they had shelved for years, only to find their marriage has become an anchor rather than a sail. This isn't about rejecting their partner; it's about reclaiming a sense of individuality. The marriage itself can become a mirror reflecting missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential, spurring the decision to step away. The gradual ebb of emotional intimacy can transform a once-vibrant connection into a hollow shell. When communication dwindles to transactional exchanges about logistics, men often feel they're more roommates than partners. This emotional void can become unbearable, driving a wedge that compels them to seek connection elsewhere. They may find themselves longing for someone who sees them anew and offers the emotional depth missing at home. Men, often conditioned to suppress vulnerability, might struggle to articulate this deep-seated need for emotional intimacy. Conversations that once came naturally now feel forced, and the laughter that once filled the room becomes a rare guest. This emotional distance can fester into resentment, making the relationship feel more like a commitment of obligation rather than affection. The quest for a rekindled emotional connection can lead them away, seeking solace in new horizons. There's an intoxicating allure to the new and undiscovered, a siren call that can compel men to abandon the familiar shores of long-term marriage. As routines become predictably monotonous, the idea of novelty offers a seductive escape from the everyday grind. Exploring new relationships can feel like a return to the vitality and spontaneity of youth, sparking a sense of aliveness that routine fails to provide. It's not just about physical attraction, but the emotional rush of new beginnings. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, emphasizes that the novelty is a powerful aphrodisiac that triggers dopamine release in the brain, akin to falling in love all over again. This isn't simply about being with someone new; it's about rejuvenating a part of themselves they feared lost to time. When novelty promises a rush of emotions and experiences, the steady rhythm of a long marriage can seem dull in comparison. The pursuit of this high can sometimes override the comforting stability of the known. Old wounds don't heal with time alone; they fester beneath the surface, and for some men, mid-life brings them into sharp focus. Childhood traumas or unresolved personal issues can creep up, manifesting as dissatisfaction with the marriage. It's not that these issues are born out of the relationship, but they find fertile ground in it, exacerbating existing strains. The marriage becomes an echo chamber, amplifying insecurities and fears they've carried throughout life. In seeking resolution, men might feel the need to start anew, away from the triggers embedded in their marital history. The partner becomes an unintentional reminder of these unresolved conflicts, often without either party realizing it. The decision to leave is not out of spite, but rather a misguided attempt to find healing and peace. Unfortunately, without addressing the root issues, they may carry these unresolved problems into new relationships, continuing the cycle. As careers plateau and retirement looms, men often face an existential question: What's next? The roles that once defined them no longer hold the same weight, leading to a crisis of purpose that seeps into their marriage. Without the distraction of career ambitions or the demands of young children, they're left to confront a void that's both terrifying and liberating. This search for purpose can put severe strain on the marriage, as the partner might not understand this internal upheaval. Research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development highlights that purpose in life significantly impacts overall happiness and well-being. For many men, their roles as breadwinners or achievers fade, and they grapple with finding new meaning. The marriage, once a collaborative journey, can feel stifling if one partner is seeking directions the other cannot comprehend. This quest for newfound purpose can drive them away in hopes of finding clarity and fulfillment elsewhere. Expectations can be silent killers of a marriage, especially when they're unmet. Over the years, men might accumulate a litany of unspoken hopes and dreams that reality never quite matched. They might find themselves holding onto memories of what marriage was supposed to be, rather than what it is. This gap between expectation and reality can create a sense of disillusionment, pushing them to seek what they couldn't find at home. These unmet expectations often stem from societal pressures and personal fantasies, which collide with the harsh truths of everyday life. When the fairy tale gives way to the mundane, the dissatisfaction can become overwhelming. Men might feel trapped in a cycle of disappointment, unable to reconcile the partner they imagined with the one they have. The yearning for an ideal marriage can turn into an impetus to leave, in search of a relationship that seems more in line with their dreams. After years of shared decisions and mutual compromises, the desire for personal independence can become a powerful motivator. Men might find themselves longing for the freedom to make choices without the weight of familial obligation. This isn't about selfishness; it's about reclaiming a sense of autonomy that's been diluted by decades of partnership. The allure of being answerable only to oneself can become irresistible. Sociologist Eric Klinenberg suggests in his work that the growing trend of living alone is partly driven by a desire for personal autonomy and self-exploration. For some, the prospect of carving out a space for themselves, free from the expectations of a partner, is deeply appealing. The marriage that once felt like a joint venture can become a cage, limiting their ability to explore personal growth. Seeking autonomy is often an attempt to rediscover their own desires and aspirations, unfettered by the ties of marriage. The emotional labor of maintaining a marriage can be exhausting, especially when it feels unreciprocated or unnoticed. Men might find themselves emotionally drained, having given all they can without feeling recharged. This burnout can lead to a desire to step away from the relationship, not because of a lack of love but due to sheer emotional fatigue. They might feel that leaving is the only way to recover their emotional well-being. In many cases, this burnout isn't recognized until it reaches a critical point where even small tasks feel monumental. The marriage that once provided emotional solace now feels like a burden they're too tired to carry. The decision to leave is often seen as self-preservation, a way to reclaim their emotional energy. It's a complicated dance of self-care and self-doubt, leaving them torn between staying and preserving their emotional health. Growth is an inherent part of life, but when partners grow in different directions, the chasm can become insurmountable. Men might find that their personal evolution no longer aligns with their partner's, leading to a sense of being out of sync. This isn't about one partner being right or wrong, but rather about a shift in compatibility over time. The realization that their paths have diverged can be a catalyst for leaving, seeking someone whose journey aligns more closely with their own. The growth that once brought them together now becomes the very thing that pulls them apart. Shared dreams can transition into individual aspirations, creating a divide that feels too wide to bridge. When efforts to reconnect fail, the prospect of starting fresh becomes appealing. The decision to part ways is often tinged with sadness, yet it's driven by the hope of finding a partnership that matches their current selves. Financial stress is a silent predator that can erode the foundation of even the strongest marriages. For men, the burden of financial responsibility can feel overwhelming, especially if they perceive themselves as failing in this role. Money issues can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame, which spill over into the marital relationship. The pressure to provide combined with financial instability can make the idea of leaving seem like the lesser of two evils. Disagreements over finances can exacerbate existing tensions, turning money into a battleground rather than a shared resource. When financial struggles dominate the relationship, they can overshadow love and commitment. Men may choose to leave in hopes of finding financial stability on their own terms. This decision, painful as it is, often feels like a necessary step towards regaining control over their lives. A lack of sexual satisfaction can be a potent force driving men away from long marriages. As intimacy fades, they might find themselves yearning for a connection that reignites their passion. The absence of a fulfilling sexual relationship can lead to feelings of inadequacy and frustration, eroding the bond that once existed. Seeking physical and emotional intimacy outside the marriage can seem like the only way to reclaim a sense of vitality. This dissatisfaction isn't always about frequency; it's often about quality and mutual engagement. When sexual intimacy becomes a chore rather than a shared expression, the disconnect can become too much to bear. Men might seek the thrill and excitement they once felt, hoping to find a partner who shares their desires. The decision to leave is frequently an attempt to reclaim a part of their identity they feel has been lost. Routine can be comforting, but for some, it becomes a prison from which they long to escape. Men might find themselves craving adventure and spontaneity, which a long marriage can sometimes stifle. This isn't about rejecting stability but rather seeking a balance that allows for both security and excitement. The allure of adventure can be a powerful draw, pulling them away from the predictable patterns of married life. Mid-life can be a time of introspection, where the desire to experience life to the fullest becomes paramount. The realization that time is finite can spark a yearning for adventure that feels incompatible with the responsibilities of marriage. In leaving, they hope to explore new facets of life, embracing the unknown with open arms. This quest for adventure is often about more than just leaving the marriage; it's about embracing life's limitless possibilities. Friends, family, and societal expectations can exert profound influence on the decision to leave a long marriage. Men might find themselves swayed by the opinions and experiences of those around them, who offer perspectives that can either clarify or complicate their feelings. The pressure to conform to external expectations can sometimes overshadow personal desires. In this tug-of-war between internal and external influences, leaving might seem like the choice that aligns most with the life they wish to lead. External influences often serve as mirrors reflecting back the discontent they feel internally. Watching peers navigate different life paths can evoke envy or a sense of missing out on alternate possibilities. The decision to leave is frequently shaped by a desire to fit into a narrative that feels more authentic to them. This choice is often less about escaping the marriage and more about stepping into a life that resonates with their true self.
Indian Express
2 days ago
- Health
- Indian Express
Real risk to youth mental health is ‘addictive use,' not screen time alone, study finds
As Americans scramble to respond to rising rates of suicidal behavior among youth, many policymakers have locked in on an alarming metric: the number of hours a day that American children spend glued to a glowing screen. But a study published Wednesday in the medical journal JAMA, which followed more than 4,000 children across the country, arrived at a surprising conclusion: Longer screen time at age 10 was not associated with higher rates of suicidal behavior four years later. Instead, the authors found, the children at higher risk for suicidal behaviors were those who told researchers their use of technology had become 'addictive' — that they had trouble putting it down or felt the need to use it more and more. Some children exhibited addictive behavior even if their screen time was relatively low, they said. The researchers found addictive behavior to be very common among children — especially in their use of mobile phones, where nearly half had high addictive use. By age 14, children with high or increasing addictive behavior were two to three times as likely as other children to have thoughts of suicide or to harm themselves, the study found. 'This is the first study to identify that addictive use is important and is actually the root cause, instead of time,' said Yunyu Xiao, an assistant professor of psychiatry and population health sciences at Weill Cornell Medical College and the study's lead author. Addictive behavior may be more difficult to control during childhood, before the prefrontal cortex, which acts as a brake on impulsivity, is fully developed. Xiao said interventions should focus on the child's addictive behavior, which is typically treated with cognitive behavioral psychotherapy, rather than simply limiting access to screens. 'If there are early warnings, then for parents, it's important to seek professional help for children with such addictions,' she said. 'We do not know if just taking away their phone will help. Sometimes it can create some conflict in the family, and that is even worse.' The focus on addictive behavior has important policy implications, shifting more responsibility onto the technology companies that design devices and social media platforms, said Mitch Prinstein, chief science officer at the American Psychological Association. Policymakers can address addiction by requiring technology companies to introduce 'age-appropriate design' that limits features adolescents find difficult to resist, he said. The United Kingdom introduced a code of this kind in 2020.
The Star
2 days ago
- Health
- The Star
Real risk to youth mental health is ‘addictive use', not screen time alone, study finds
As Americans scramble to respond to rising rates of suicidal behaviour among youth, many policymakers have locked in on an alarming metric: the number of hours a day that American children spend glued to a glowing screen. But a study published June 18 in the medical journal JAMA, which followed more than 4,000 children across the US, arrived at a surprising conclusion: Longer screen time at age 10 was not associated with higher rates of suicidal behaviour four years later. Instead, the authors found, the children at higher risk for suicidal behaviours were those who told researchers their use of technology had become 'addictive' – that they had trouble putting it down or felt the need to use it more and more. Some children exhibited addictive behaviour even if their screen time was relatively low, they said. The researchers found addictive behaviour to be very common among children – especially in their use of mobile phones, where nearly half had high addictive use. By age 14, children with high or increasing addictive behaviour were two to three times as likely as other children to have thoughts of suicide or to harm themselves, the study found. 'This is the first study to identify that addictive use is important and is actually the root cause, instead of time,' said Yunyu Xiao, an assistant professor of psychiatry and population health sciences at Weill Cornell Medical College and the study's lead author. Addictive behaviour may be more difficult to control during childhood, before the prefrontal cortex, which acts as a brake on impulsivity, is fully developed. Xiao said interventions should focus on the child's addictive behaviour, which is typically treated with cognitive behavioural psychotherapy, rather than simply limiting access to screens. 'If there are early warnings, then for parents, it's important to seek professional help for children with such addictions,' she said. 'We do not know if just taking away their phone will help. Sometimes it can create some conflict in the family, and that is even worse.' The study analysed changes in screen use among 4,285 children beginning around age 10, regularly screening them for compulsive use, difficulty disengaging and distress when not given access. At 14, when the subjects were assessed for suicidal behaviour and mental health status, 5.1% of the participants had showed suicidal behaviour, such as attempted suicide or preparation for an attempt, and 17.9% had experienced suicidal ideation. Because of its design, the study did not establish that addictive use caused suicidal behaviours at age 14, but it was able to show that a prolonged trajectory of addictive use preceded the mental health problems, Xiao said. The focus on addictive behaviour has important policy implications, shifting more responsibility onto the technology companies that design devices and social media platforms, said Mitch Prinstein, chief science officer at the American Psychological Association. Policymakers can address addiction by requiring technology companies to introduce 'age-appropriate design' that limits features adolescents find difficult to resist, he said. The United Kingdom introduced a code of this kind in 2020. 'We just don't do that here,' he said. 'We have baked addictive use into the design of the product.' Debates about screen time, by contrast, tend to put the onus on parents to limit their children's use of the platforms, a task that can be especially difficult for single-parent or lower-income families, he said. 'We are talking about something that's just not feasible for some people who rely on that device to calm their kids down for a few minutes to give them a moment to fold the laundry and get dinner ready or go off to a second job,' he said. The new study found higher levels of addictive use of social media, video games and mobile phones among Black and Hispanic adolescents, and among youths from households with annual incomes less than US$75,000 (RM318,787), unmarried parents and parents without a college education. For nearly half of the children in the study, addictive phone use was consistently high from age 11; another 25% began with low addictive use, which increased steeply. For that last group, 'the risk of suicidal behaviour clearly increased, to a doubling of the levels,' Xiao said. 'So if we do not measure them repetitively, we could miss this group when they are growing up.' The new study is unlikely to quiet worries about screen time, which has become a major public health issue. US teens spend an average of 4.8 hours per day on social media platforms like YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, Gallup found in 2023, the most recent year for which data is available. In his 2024 book The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist, identified the appearance of the smartphones as a key inflection point, after which youth mental health in the United States began to deteriorate. Since then, legislators in many states have crafted laws limiting social media use or screen time, especially during school hours. Many scientists who study the relationship between social media and mental health say it is premature to issue blanket warnings, arguing that the research so far has told a mixed story of harm and benefit, and what seems to matter more is what they are doing online. 'We have known for over a decade now that screen time is a flawed measure, but we continue to tally time spent on screens instead of asking how young people are spending their time online and why they want to be there,' said Candice L. Odgers, a professor of psychological science in informatics at the University of California, Irvine. Dr Jason Nagata, who has published studies on screen time but was not involved in the new JAMA study, said the data points to the limitations of screen time as a predictive measure. But he said screen time remains useful, because it's easier to measure, and it crowds out important activities such as sleep, exercise and face-to-face socialising. Nagata and his team found a link between higher screen time at age 9 and suicidal behaviours two years later, with each additional hour of screen time associated with 1.09 higher odds of mental health problems. Another follow-up study found more screen time was linked to a range of mental health symptoms two years later, though the effect sizes were small. Nagata, an associate professor of paediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco, said the difference may be that Xiao's team measured screen time at age 10 and only took mental health measurements four years later. 'Four years is a long time,' he said. 'I'm not surprised that some associations faded over that time.' Jean Twenge, a psychologist who was not involved in the new study, came to a similar conclusion. 'Kids' screen time at 10 likely bears little resemblance to their screen time at age 14,' said Twenge, the author of 10 Rules For Raising Kids In A High-Tech World. She said screen time and addictive use are both important, and her recommendations to control them are the same: Keep children off social media until they are 15, and delay giving them internet-enabled phones for as long as possible. – ©2025 The New York Times Company Those suffering from problems can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service at 03-2935 9935 or 014-322 v3392; Talian Kasih at 15999 or 019-261 5999 on WhatsApp; Jakim's (Department of Islamic Development Malaysia) family, social and community care centre at 0111-959 8214 on WhatsApp; and Befrienders Kuala Lumpur at 03-7627 2929 or go to malaysia for a full list of numbers nationwide and operating hours, or email sam@ This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
The Star
2 days ago
- General
- The Star
Dating in a world of bad news: Managing media overload for a better love life
Dear Anna, I'm a 29-year-old single woman, and lately, dating has become more stressful than exciting. Every day, I'm bombarded with news about global challenges – climate disasters, political unrest and economic uncertainties – which leaves me feeling anxious and overwhelmed. When I go on dates, I often find myself distracted and gloomy, making it hard to be truly present with the person in front of me. I want to form meaningful connections, but it seems like the weight of the world is clouding every moment. How can I strike a balance where I can engage in new relationships without letting global crises drain my energy? – Wishing for Hope Yet Dear WHY, Your feelings are completely valid. It's a distressing and confusing time. When every day brings fresh horrors and suffering from every corner of the globe, it's natural to feel weighed down by anxiety, even if you're not trying to make small talk over beer and boneless wings. Research consistently shows that excessive exposure to distressing news not only heightens our anxiety and stress levels but can also lead to longer-term issues like depression, despair and helplessness. Not only that, but, according to the American Psychological Association, repeated exposure to traumatic news events can lead to 'compassion fatigue' – a state where the constant awareness of global suffering leaves us emotionally depleted and less capable of empathising with others. This phenomenon not only affects our personal mental health but can also impair our ability to engage meaningfully with our communities, loved ones, and yes, potential dates. So, what can we do to protect ourselves while still being responsible and informed citizens? First, we must set boundaries around our news consumption. Ask yourself – truly – how much do you need to know? Does doomscrolling X (formerly known as Twitter) make you a better person? Does it lead you to take action? The answer is, likely, hardly ever. Consider scheduling specific times for checking news/social media – perhaps once a day – rather than having it constantly accessible. This practice can help mitigate the impact of continuous negative stimuli. When you feel that itch to scroll, many experts also recommend engaging in activities that foster a positive mindset, such as a short mindfulness meditation, exercise or going outside, or texting a loved one instead. These practices can help recalibrate your emotional state, offering a counterbalance to the relentless tide of gloom. Another actionable step is to diversify the sources and types of media you consume. Try to incorporate uplifting stories, educational content or podcasts that inspire you. I signed up recently for the daily newsletter, Good Good Good, which has been helpful in countering some of the distressing news of late. Ultimately, limiting your exposure to negative news is not about being uninformed – it's about preserving your mental health so that you can engage with the world in a more balanced and resilient manner. As you protect your well-being, you'll find yourself better equipped to handle challenges and contribute positively to the issues that matter most. Another tip is to communicate openly with your potential dates about your state of mind. You don't need to share every detail, but expressing that you're feeling overwhelmed by the world right now can foster understanding. Chances are, they might be feeling similarly, and this common ground can actually deepen your connection. Mutual support in times of global stress can be a powerful bond. Make sure you're taking time for yourself beyond dating. Whether it's exercise, cooking homemade meals, a hobby, or simply taking a walk in nature, nurturing your mental and physical health will not only improve your overall well-being but also help you bring your best self to your relationships. Remember, you deserve to feel balanced and strong even amid uncertainty. It might also help to reframe how you view dating during these challenging times. Instead of focusing on the relentlessness of global crises, try to see each date as an opportunity to create a little oasis of connection and warmth. This isn't about ignoring reality – it's about carving out moments of joy and genuine human connection that can sustain you when things get tough. Think of it as building your own small sanctuary, where each conversation and shared laugh becomes a reminder that hope exists even in dark times. Lastly, consider joining communities or groups that are doing meaningful work. As environmentalist Bill McKibben has long said, when people ask him what's the most significant thing you can do (for the climate, in this instance): 'Stop being an individual; join something.' Get involved in causes you care about. Join a local club, initiative or volunteer group – connecting with like-minded people can reinforce your resilience. Knowing you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed – and that others are working hard to do good in the world – can make a real difference. As Rebecca Solnit said recently on Facebook, 'The fact that we cannot save everything does not mean we cannot save anything and everything we can save is worth saving.' Remember, dating isn't just about finding romance; it's about rediscovering yourself and the light you bring to the world, even when it feels dim. You're navigating an incredibly challenging landscape, and every step you take towards building healthy, supportive relationships is a victory. Wishing you strength, clarity and hope. – Tribune News Service Anna Pulley is a syndicated Tribune Content Agency columnist answering reader questions about love and dating.
IOL News
3 days ago
- Health
- IOL News
The Sunday Scaries: why you're dreading Monday and how to break the cycle
The Sunday Scaries aren't just a "bad mood" or a fleeting feeling. They're a real psychological phenomenon that impacts people across industries, age groups and countries. Image: Lany-Jade Mondou/pexels It's Sunday evening. You've just finished a lovely dinner with friends or are curled up on the couch, watching your favourite show. Everything feels calm, yet there's an unease quietly creeping in. A knot in your stomach. A racing mind. The looming spectre of Monday starts to overshadow the last few hours of your weekend. Sound familiar? If so, you're not alone. This phenomenon, commonly known as the "Sunday Scaries" is a shared experience for many South Africans and millions more globally. What are the Sunday Scaries? The Sunday Scaries are a type of 'anticipatory anxiety' which the American Psychological Association defines as the Sunday night blues, referring to feelings of anxiety or dread that often surface on Sunday afternoons and intensify as the evening progresses. These feelings are typically tied to the anticipation of the workweek ahead whether it's an overloaded to-do list, a looming deadline, or the general stress of the unknown. The Sunday Scaries aren't just a "bad mood" or a fleeting feeling. They're a real psychological phenomenon that impacts people across industries, age groups and countries. A study commissioned by the UK's Office for Health Improvements and Disparities (OHID) revealed that 67% of adults regularly experience the Sunday Scaries, with the number rising to a staggering 74% among 18–24-year-olds. But why are the Sunday Scaries so common? And more importantly, how can we overcome them? What's behind the Sunday scaries? Instead of letting anxiety build up on Sundays, try reframing the day as a time to recharge. Image: SHVETS production /pexels 1. Workweek anxiety: Even if you love your job, the anticipation of a packed workweek can be overwhelming. From tight deadlines to unpredictable challenges, the uncertainty of what's coming can trigger anxiety. 2. The weekend paradox: relaxation vs productivity: For most of us, weekends are a juggling act. It's a short window to relax, socialise, tackle errands and catch up on life admin. But striking the perfect balance is tricky. Sometimes, we're left feeling guilty for not being productive enough. Other times, we regret not relaxing more. Either way, that feeling of "wasting" the weekend can intensify the dread of Monday, leaving us restless and dissatisfied. 3. Sleep deprivation and the vicious cycle: Anxiety about the week ahead can make it difficult to switch off, which leads to poor sleep or no sleep at all. This creates a vicious cycle, sleep deprivation makes Monday mornings harder, which fuels anxiety, which worsens the next round of Sunday Scaries. It's a loop many of us struggle to break. 4. Changes in routine: Whether it's adjusting to a hybrid work model or returning to the office after years of remote work, changes to our work routines can trigger feelings of unease. Mental health tips on how to tame the Sunday Scaries With a few lifestyle tweaks and mindset shifts, you can regain control of your weekends and start the workweek on a more positive note. 1. Create a Sunday ritual: Instead of letting anxiety build up on Sundays, try reframing the day as a time to recharge. Create a ritual that helps you wind down - whether it's a yoga session, a long walk or meal-prepping for the week ahead. 2. Set work boundaries: It's time to enforce some boundaries. Resist the urge to check work emails or messages on a Sunday. Remember, work will still be there on Monday. Protecting your weekend from work-related stress is vital for your mental health. 3. Plan your week in advance: If the unknowns of the week ahead are causing anxiety, spend a few minutes on Friday afternoon planning your priorities for the following week. A clear game plan can help you feel more in control when Monday rolls around.
