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USA Today
2 days ago
- Business
- USA Today
Dump your spouse, not your assets: 7 tips for surviving 'gray divorce'
For a midlife man or woman trapped in a failing marriage, a 'gray divorce' can bring liberation. And financial ruin. A man can expect his standard of living to decline by 21% after a gray divorce. A woman's standard of living will plunge by 45%. Both partners see their wealth decline by half. Despite those perils, the divorce rate has doubled since 1990 for Americans over 55. Women are more likely to initiate a gray divorce, researchers say. They also tend to fare worse financially after the split. Here are seven tips for managing your finances in a gray divorce, from AARP and other expert sources. Don't expect the same lifestyle after a gray divorce In a divorce, spouses typically split their assets. After the breakup, however, don't expect your monthly expenses to go down by half. Each partner will now likely face separate housing payments, utility bills and insurance premiums. 'It's really starting over with basic financial planning 101,' said Michelle Crumm, a certified financial planner in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The lifestyle adjustment can be especially brutal for women, who often stay in the family home, but with a vastly diminished income. 'And they can't afford the house, and they can't afford the three pets that they have,' said Niv Persaud, a certified financial planner in Atlanta. Don't get hung up on the family home In a common gray divorce scenario, one partner keeps the home and gives up a trove of other assets to stay there. That can be a mistake, experts say. Homes aren't the same as money in the bank. They're costly to maintain. The partner who gets the home can wind up house poor. 'A lot of times, people want to stay in the family home for sentimental reasons,' said George Mannes, executive editor at AARP The Magazine. 'But it can be a trap.' Remember: You're still going to retire Retirement savings loom large in gray divorces. 'Generally speaking, what most people have is retirement accounts and equity in their home,' said Monica Dwyer, a certified financial planner in West Chester, Ohio. Just like the family home, retirement accounts 'tend to elicit strong emotions, particularly from the spouse whose name is on the account,' Diane Harris writes in an AARP report on gray divorce. In divorce, a couple's collective retirement savings may be redistributed into equitable shares, one for each partner. But how that works depends on where you live. In any of nine 'community property' states, the court splits the assets down the middle, according to Investopedia. In more numerous 'equitable distribution' states, the court divides the assets equitably, but not necessarily down the middle. Financial planners strongly recommend that divorcing couples complete a qualified domestic relations order, or QDRO. It's a legal document that spells out how retirement savings are divided. The form 'can be great,' Dwyer said, as a tool for dividing other assets in divorce. A spouse who receives funds under a QDRO generally doesn't pay a tax penalty for withdrawing them. Don't assume all assets are equal When divorcing spouses are deciding how to divvy up assets, a financial adviser can play a crucial role in divining what different assets are actually worth. For example: $500,000 in a bank account is more valuable than the same amount in a 401(k). Why? Because the retirement savings have not yet been taxed as income, and withdrawing them early can trigger a penalty. By the same token, $500,000 in a Roth IRA is worth 'a ton more' than the same amount in a traditional IRA, Crumm said: The Roth funds have already been taxed. Diamonds are forever. Alimony is not. Alimony is generally awarded in divorce to a spouse who earned less, to help them keep up the lifestyle they enjoyed during marriage. Alimony can be awarded more or less permanently, or until a spouse dies or remarries. But that arrangement is becoming far less common, AARP reports. While details vary from state to state, alimony 'is now typically designed to last just long enough for a lower-earning spouse to figure out how to become self-supporting,' Harris writes. Crumm, the Michigan financial planner, counsels her clients to save 'a good chunk' of their alimony payments. 'Alimony probably doesn't last forever,' she said. 'The person who's receiving the alimony is at a disadvantage if they aren't planning well. When that ends, it's a cliff.' Don't fight over prized possessions Many divorcing couples wage protracted feuds over cherished possessions: Keeping a favorite painting for yourself, or punishing your ex-spouse by taking it away. For a divorcing spouse who really wants to antagonize a sports fan, 'you go after the football tickets,' Crumm said. She has seen couples spar over seats at Michigan Wolverines games. When spouses can't agree on who gets what, the judge decides, and that scenario often doesn't end well. 'You're punishing yourself when you go to court, really,' Dwyer said. A better solution, she said, is to divide marital assets through mediation or 'collaborative law,' striving for a settlement outside of court. Get on with your life You aren't just divorcing your spouse: You're also divorcing yourself from their finances. Take care to remove a former spouse from your financial accounts, experts say. Change beneficiary designations on investment accounts and insurance policies to ensure your ex doesn't inherit your stuff by mistake. A divorcing spouse may need to rebuild their credit, especially if most accounts were in the ex's name. 'Be extra careful about credit cards that you have shared,' said Mannes of AARP. 'Make sure your spouse doesn't keep the account open.' It's also a good idea to monitor your credit report, Dwyer said, to make sure a former partner's history doesn't muddy your own. 'Your ex does have your Social Security number,' she said. 'If we're talking about somebody who had a problem with gambling, if we're talking about somebody who has a spending problem, then you want to lock everything down, split everything up.'
Irish Daily Mirror
01-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Irish Daily Mirror
Helen Mirren issues four-word verdict on romance with Liam Neeson
Hollywood legend Helen Mirren, 77, has candidly reflected on her bygone romance with cinema heavyweight Liam Neeson, 70. The duo, who shared a four-year love story over three decades ago, have since acknowledged that their relationship was "not meant to be" even though Mirren fondly recalls Neeson as "amazing". While discussing her unique habit of crafting custom shirts for her beaus, Helen confessed: "I did make one for Liam, oddly enough. We loved each other. We were not meant to be together in that way, but we loved each other very, very much. "I love him deeply to this day. He's such an amazing guy," the distinguished actress divulged in a heartfelt chat with AARP The Magazine. The ex-lovers have openly spoken about their lasting connection, which was evident during a heartwarming get-together on The Graham Norton Show. Their 2018 appearance on the program saw them joyfully reflecting on their former flame. When the show's host, Graham, 59, inquired about their past liaison, Mirren didn't shy away from expressing how "lucky" she felt to have been involved with the Academy Award-nominated star, reports the Express. She gushed: "We didn't date, we lived together for four years. We were a serious item for a while. Lucky me!". Liam added his own charming anecdote: "Before I met her and we worked together I had read somewhere that if she fancied a guy she would imitate his walk behind his back and I turned around one day and she was doing that to me." The star of Taken opened up about being utterly enchanted by Helen Mirren from the moment they met on the set of the 1981 flick Excalibur. Liam nostalgically shared: "I remember being on the set and standing with Ciaran Hinds as Helen walked towards us dressed in her full Morgana Le Fey costume and we both went, 'Oh f**k' and I was smitten. I think Ciaran was too but I was very smitten!". Which prompted an entertaining comeback from Helen: "I never knew that. You've never told me that before, it's amazing." Yet fate had its own agenda for Helen, who ended up marrying American filmmaker Taylor Hackford in 1997. The two encountered each other shortly after Helen's breakthrough performance in The Long Good Friday, culminating in an audition with Hackford for his movie White Nights. The acclaimed actress, an Oscar winner for her role in The Queen, once amusingly pondered how playing this character may have influenced her nuptials. At the 2015 Gotham Awards where she received a lifetime achievement recognition, Helen captured everyone's attention with her speech. With her wit, she remarked: "I have to tell you a story about f------ the queen." During the Venice Film Festival showing of The Queen, Helen recounted: "When The Queen was first screened at Venice, I'd never seen it before, and neither had my husband Taylor. "In the first scene, I'm in full regalia, and I turn and look at the camera and there's silence in the cinema. And my husband lets out this huge laugh. So I lean over to him and say, 'Darling, do you think you'll ever f--k me again?'".
The Advertiser
27-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Advertiser
Zeta-Jones, Douglas celebrate daughter's graduation
Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are celebrating their daughter's graduation after she completed a film degree. The 80-year-old actor and Zeta-Jones, 55, have been married since November 2000 and as well as their girl Carys they have son, Dylan, 24, who also attended Brown University – graduating in 2022, just like his sister. Douglas– who is also father to 46-year-old son Cameron, from his previous marriage to Diandra Luker, which lasted 18 years before ending in 2000 – marked Carys' milestone by posing for a photo that saw him and Catherine kissing Carys, 22, on each cheek as she stood in the middle of them beaming. Zeta-Jones posted the snap on her Instagram and captioned it: "We are both such proud parents right now!! It's only just begun!!" The image was taken the night before Carys' graduation ceremony, with her wearing a white full-length dress, while Douglas opted for a navy suit and Zeta-Jones was in a black two-piece suit. Carys received her degree in Film and International Relations from the Ivy League university, located in Providence, Rhode Island. Zeta-Jones, who starred in The Mask of Zorro, also posted more details from the celebrations on her Instagram stories, including a cake decorated with the message "Congratulations Graduation Class of 25" and group photos of Carys and her fellow graduates on the steps of the university. Other images showed emotional embraces and joyful moments shared among the graduating class. In a 2010 interview with AARP The Magazine, Douglas reflected on how fatherhood later in life had changed his perspective. He said: "My career was the most important thing in my life, followed by marriage and children. And it's completely reversed now. I never anticipated starting a family and the joy of raising kids at my age." Speaking to The Telegraph in 2024, Douglas also recounted an incident where he was mistaken for Carys' grandfather during a visit to the university. He said: "This is not grandfather's day, this is parents' day. I say, 'I am a parent. That was a rough one." Douglas also described how life had shifted as he and his wife entered a new phase of parenting. He added: "Catherine and I have been together, it'll be 25 years this year. So it's been a good ride and I've been very fortunate, happy with the choices that I've made and now am kind of really backing off and smelling the roses a little more, traveling more." The actor also called Carys and Dylan "extraordinary beings" and said they have been "a joy" to raise. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are celebrating their daughter's graduation after she completed a film degree. The 80-year-old actor and Zeta-Jones, 55, have been married since November 2000 and as well as their girl Carys they have son, Dylan, 24, who also attended Brown University – graduating in 2022, just like his sister. Douglas– who is also father to 46-year-old son Cameron, from his previous marriage to Diandra Luker, which lasted 18 years before ending in 2000 – marked Carys' milestone by posing for a photo that saw him and Catherine kissing Carys, 22, on each cheek as she stood in the middle of them beaming. Zeta-Jones posted the snap on her Instagram and captioned it: "We are both such proud parents right now!! It's only just begun!!" The image was taken the night before Carys' graduation ceremony, with her wearing a white full-length dress, while Douglas opted for a navy suit and Zeta-Jones was in a black two-piece suit. Carys received her degree in Film and International Relations from the Ivy League university, located in Providence, Rhode Island. Zeta-Jones, who starred in The Mask of Zorro, also posted more details from the celebrations on her Instagram stories, including a cake decorated with the message "Congratulations Graduation Class of 25" and group photos of Carys and her fellow graduates on the steps of the university. Other images showed emotional embraces and joyful moments shared among the graduating class. In a 2010 interview with AARP The Magazine, Douglas reflected on how fatherhood later in life had changed his perspective. He said: "My career was the most important thing in my life, followed by marriage and children. And it's completely reversed now. I never anticipated starting a family and the joy of raising kids at my age." Speaking to The Telegraph in 2024, Douglas also recounted an incident where he was mistaken for Carys' grandfather during a visit to the university. He said: "This is not grandfather's day, this is parents' day. I say, 'I am a parent. That was a rough one." Douglas also described how life had shifted as he and his wife entered a new phase of parenting. He added: "Catherine and I have been together, it'll be 25 years this year. So it's been a good ride and I've been very fortunate, happy with the choices that I've made and now am kind of really backing off and smelling the roses a little more, traveling more." The actor also called Carys and Dylan "extraordinary beings" and said they have been "a joy" to raise. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are celebrating their daughter's graduation after she completed a film degree. The 80-year-old actor and Zeta-Jones, 55, have been married since November 2000 and as well as their girl Carys they have son, Dylan, 24, who also attended Brown University – graduating in 2022, just like his sister. Douglas– who is also father to 46-year-old son Cameron, from his previous marriage to Diandra Luker, which lasted 18 years before ending in 2000 – marked Carys' milestone by posing for a photo that saw him and Catherine kissing Carys, 22, on each cheek as she stood in the middle of them beaming. Zeta-Jones posted the snap on her Instagram and captioned it: "We are both such proud parents right now!! It's only just begun!!" The image was taken the night before Carys' graduation ceremony, with her wearing a white full-length dress, while Douglas opted for a navy suit and Zeta-Jones was in a black two-piece suit. Carys received her degree in Film and International Relations from the Ivy League university, located in Providence, Rhode Island. Zeta-Jones, who starred in The Mask of Zorro, also posted more details from the celebrations on her Instagram stories, including a cake decorated with the message "Congratulations Graduation Class of 25" and group photos of Carys and her fellow graduates on the steps of the university. Other images showed emotional embraces and joyful moments shared among the graduating class. In a 2010 interview with AARP The Magazine, Douglas reflected on how fatherhood later in life had changed his perspective. He said: "My career was the most important thing in my life, followed by marriage and children. And it's completely reversed now. I never anticipated starting a family and the joy of raising kids at my age." Speaking to The Telegraph in 2024, Douglas also recounted an incident where he was mistaken for Carys' grandfather during a visit to the university. He said: "This is not grandfather's day, this is parents' day. I say, 'I am a parent. That was a rough one." Douglas also described how life had shifted as he and his wife entered a new phase of parenting. He added: "Catherine and I have been together, it'll be 25 years this year. So it's been a good ride and I've been very fortunate, happy with the choices that I've made and now am kind of really backing off and smelling the roses a little more, traveling more." The actor also called Carys and Dylan "extraordinary beings" and said they have been "a joy" to raise. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are celebrating their daughter's graduation after she completed a film degree. The 80-year-old actor and Zeta-Jones, 55, have been married since November 2000 and as well as their girl Carys they have son, Dylan, 24, who also attended Brown University – graduating in 2022, just like his sister. Douglas– who is also father to 46-year-old son Cameron, from his previous marriage to Diandra Luker, which lasted 18 years before ending in 2000 – marked Carys' milestone by posing for a photo that saw him and Catherine kissing Carys, 22, on each cheek as she stood in the middle of them beaming. Zeta-Jones posted the snap on her Instagram and captioned it: "We are both such proud parents right now!! It's only just begun!!" The image was taken the night before Carys' graduation ceremony, with her wearing a white full-length dress, while Douglas opted for a navy suit and Zeta-Jones was in a black two-piece suit. Carys received her degree in Film and International Relations from the Ivy League university, located in Providence, Rhode Island. Zeta-Jones, who starred in The Mask of Zorro, also posted more details from the celebrations on her Instagram stories, including a cake decorated with the message "Congratulations Graduation Class of 25" and group photos of Carys and her fellow graduates on the steps of the university. Other images showed emotional embraces and joyful moments shared among the graduating class. In a 2010 interview with AARP The Magazine, Douglas reflected on how fatherhood later in life had changed his perspective. He said: "My career was the most important thing in my life, followed by marriage and children. And it's completely reversed now. I never anticipated starting a family and the joy of raising kids at my age." Speaking to The Telegraph in 2024, Douglas also recounted an incident where he was mistaken for Carys' grandfather during a visit to the university. He said: "This is not grandfather's day, this is parents' day. I say, 'I am a parent. That was a rough one." Douglas also described how life had shifted as he and his wife entered a new phase of parenting. He added: "Catherine and I have been together, it'll be 25 years this year. So it's been a good ride and I've been very fortunate, happy with the choices that I've made and now am kind of really backing off and smelling the roses a little more, traveling more." The actor also called Carys and Dylan "extraordinary beings" and said they have been "a joy" to raise.
Perth Now
26-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Perth Now
Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas celebrate daughter's graduation after she finishes film degree
Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are celebrating their daughter's graduation after she completed a film degree. The 80-year-old actor and Catherine, 55, have been married since November 2000 and as well as their girl Carys they have son, Dylan, 24, who also attended Brown University – graduating in 2022, just like his sister. Michael – who is also father to 46-year-old son Cameron, from his previous marriage to Diandra Luker, which lasted 18 years before ending in 2000 – marked Carys' milestone by posing for a photo that saw him and Catherine kissing Carys, 22, on each cheek as she stood in the middle of them beaming. Catherine posted the snap on her Instagram and captioned it: 'We are both such proud parents right now!! It's only just begun!!' The image was taken the night before Carys' graduation ceremony, with her wearing a white full-length dress, while Michael opted for a navy suit and Catherine was in a black two-piece suit. Carys received her degree in Film and International Relations from the Ivy League university, located in Providence, Rhode Island. Catherine, who starred in 'The Mask of Zorro', also posted more details from the celebrations on her Instagram stories, including a cake decorated with the message 'Congratulations Graduation Class of 25' and group photos of Carys and her fellow graduates on the steps of the university. Other images showed emotional embraces and joyful moments shared among the graduating class. In a 2010 interview with AARP The Magazine, Michael reflected on how fatherhood later in life had changed his perspective. He said: 'My career was the most important thing in my life, followed by marriage and children. And it's completely reversed now. I never anticipated starting a family and the joy of raising kids at my age.' Speaking to The Telegraph in 2024, Michael also recounted an incident where he was mistaken for Carys' grandfather during a visit to the university. He said: 'This is not grandfather's day, this is parents' day. I say, 'I am a parent. That was a rough one.' Michael also described how life had shifted as he and his wife entered a new phase of parenting. He added: 'Catherine and I have been together it'll be 25 years this year. So it's been a good ride and I've been very fortunate, happy with the choices that I've made and now am kind of really backing off and smelling the roses a little more, traveling more.' The actor also called Carys and Dylan 'extraordinary beings' and said they have been 'a joy' to raise.
New York Post
25-05-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Post
Alan Alda reveals he didn't recognize his own daughter due to face blindness
Alan Alda is opening up about his struggles with face blindness. In a new interview with People, the 89-year-old year recalled the time he didn't recognize his own daughter, Beatrice, due to prosopagnosia. Alda said the incident occurred on the set of his 1981 comedy 'The Four Seasons' when he had Beatrice, now 63, dye her hair for her role in the film. Advertisement 8 Alan Alda at SiriusXM Studios in NYC in Nov. 2019. Getty Images 'I saw this person with horn-rimmed glasses and blonde hair staring at me, and it was starting to get distracting,' Alda explained. 'I said to the assistant director, 'Don't let these strangers come on the set.' He said, 'That's your daughter!'' 'I don't think she was too happy about that,' Alda added, 'because neither of us knew that there was such a thing as face blindness [at the time].' Advertisement 8 Alan Alda with his wife Arlene and daughters Elizabeth, Eve and Beatrice in 1979. Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images 8 Alan Alda at the AARP The Magazine's 19th Annual Movies For Grownups Awards in 2020. Getty Images The 'M*A*S*H' actor, who is still dealing with the condition, said that nowadays it's 'very hard' for him to recognize people. 'When somebody comes up to me, as if they know me, I often don't know if they know me from seeing me on the screen or if I actually know them,' he shared. Advertisement 'I could have dinner with somebody, spend two hours with somebody next to me, and the next day not know who they are,' Alda said. 8 Alan Alda in 'M*A*S*H.' Getty Images 8 Alan Alda on the set of the 1979 movie 'The Seduction of Joe Tynan' in Baltimore. Getty Images Alda also spoke to the outlet about his Parkinson's disease, which he was diagnosed with in 2015. Advertisement The Emmy Award winner said that managing the neurological disorder has 'gone from a part-time job to almost a full-time job keeping track of all these little solutions.' 8 Alan Alda attends AARP The Magazine's 19th Annual Movies For Grownups Awards. FilmMagic 'But it keeps me always looking for the funny side,' he shared. Alda further explained how his longtime wife Arlene, 92, has supported him during his health struggles. 8 Arlene Alda and Alan Alda attend the 2024 Bay Street Theater's 32nd Annual Summer Gala in July 2024. Getty Images 'I don't have dexterity with my fingers the way I used to, so sometimes she has to tear a package open for me,' he said. 'She's so good-natured about it. I'm always saying, 'Thank you.'' Alda previously gave an update on his Parkinson's in a 2020 interview with 'AARP the Magazine.' 8 Arlene and Alan Alda at a a Jewish Home LifeCare dinner in NYC in 2015. Getty Images Advertisement 'A lot of people hear they have Parkinson's and get depressed and panicky and don't do anything, just hoping it'll go away. It's not going to, but you can hold off the worst symptoms. Movement helps: walking, biking, treadmills. But also specific things: I move to music a lot.' he said. 'It's not the end of the world when you get this diagnosis.' Other celebrities who have Parkinson's include Michael J. Fox, Ozzy Osbourne and Linda Ronstadt.
