Life after Agadoo: The curse of the ‘Worst Song of All Time'

In the crepuscular gloom of a barely lit stage, a bearded man of pensionable age and with a 52-inch chest is swaying in the barrel-shaped costume of a tropical fruit. Audible, just, is the ghost of Eighties parties past. 'Ah…' chant monk-like voices. 'Ga…' they continue over funereal beats as the portly pineapple approaches a microphone stand. 'Dooo…'
Altogether now: 'Agadoo doo doo, push pineapple shake the tree / Agadoo doo doo push pineapple grind coffee / To the left to the right jump up and down and to the knees / Come and dance every night sing with a hula melody!' (Daft dance, carnival whistles, rinky-dink keyboards, frolicking bananas and lurid Hawaiian shirts not pictured. Not yet, anyway.)
With what will transpire is a typical mix of the haunting, the humbling and the hilarious, so begins Still Pushing Pineapples: with an image of its subject trapped in the metaphorical comedy clobber that characterises a 40-year novelty pop career that, against the odds, continues. Just about.
Premiering at this month's Sheffield DocFest, it tells, in part, the story of Black Lace and their deathless – you might say death-conjuring – 1984 song Agadoo. But really it's the story of Dene Michael. The Yorkshire musician is the sole surviving core member of a group who, having come seventh for Britain at Eurovision 1979 with the song Mary Ann, bestrode the Eighties like a cheesy colossus. Black Lace enjoyed a run of gimmicky hits that also included Superman, I Am the Music Man, Do the Conga and the tinny disco reboot we didn't know we needed, of Hokey Cokey. I've re-listened to these so you don't have to.
For the best part of two years, documentarian Kim Hopkins followed Michael as he plied his archaic Black Lace trade for the ageing and expiring holidaymakers of Blackpool, Whitby, Skegness and Minehead, his mobile disco machine, colourful shirts and ego-free pluck rattling in the back of his VW hatchback. The result is a film that – counter-intuitively given the profoundly naff musical subject matter – manages to be tender, empathetic and heartfelt.
The 65-year-old director's last film was the Bafta-longlisted A Bunch of Amateurs. About the embattled Bradford Movie Makers, one of the oldest amateur filmmaking clubs in the world, it won the Audience Award at Sheffield DocFest 2022. She then began casting around for a subject for her next project.
'I was seeing lots of these IP – intellectual property – films.' By which she means proprietorial, self-authored films such as Taylor Swift's The Eras Tour. 'And I thought: 'I can't get to Taylor Swift or Madonna. What IP can I get to?''
Then a song this former punk dimly remembered from the mid-Eighties bobbed into her mind like a tiny paper brolly floating in a Sex on the Beach. 'I asked Alexa to play Agadoo. First time I'd heard it for 30 years. I thought: 'What happened to these people? Who are they?''
A quick Google revealed that these people, like her, had their roots in Yorkshire ('I didn't even know they were Brits!'). She duly contacted Michael and invited him to the Bradford premiere of A Bunch of Amateurs, 'to see the type of work that we do. Dean really enjoyed it and agreed for us to film, warts and all.'
How does her subject feel about being, in Hopkins' filmmaking terms, the closest Britain has to Swift or Madonna?
'I'll tell you what, Craig, I'm very honoured that Kim did think about us!' replies the doughtily jovial Michael as he and the director share a video call from their respective corners of Yorkshire (she's in York, he's in the Dales). 'It's an honour, really,' he adds, comfy on a couch that's overhung by a Black Lace photograph and a poster from another totem of Yorkshire culture, Kes. 'Not many people get to tell their life story in a movie. So, hard work but very exciting.'
Four decades on Michael, now 68, has a career he owes mostly to Agadoo. Written by a group of Frenchmen in the 1970s, Black Lace's cover reached Number Two, spent 30 weeks in the Top 75 and was voted The Worst Song of All Time in a 2003 poll in music magazine Q. The one-time staple of nightclub, holiday cabaret and wedding party is, then, both talisman and albatross – a song the singer dreads performing but has no option otherwise.
Because, as great archive footage from Top of the Pops shows, Black Lace had quite the ride. They even enjoyed a new lease of life when, this century, Eighties nostalgia firmly kicked in. Michael recalls one 2015 celebrity booking thus: 'We'd done all these [retro] festivals with 30,000 people there. But the one that stood out for me was playing Ant and Dec's birthday party. It was their joint 40th, and it was in London [at Kensington Roof Gardens]. Everybody that was there was famous, and they were conga-ing around the room. There was Keith Lemon, Belinda Carlisle, Cheryl Cole – she actually got up on stage to sing Agadoo with us. Cheryl was doing the dance beside us!'
And they were enjoying the music fully and un-ironically?
'They loved it! And funnily enough, after we come off stage, we was chatting with everybody, and they were all coming up and saying: 'Can we have a selfie with you?' All these famous people!' he marvels.
There was markedly less good humour at Leeds Crown Court the following year, when Michael – under his full name Dene Michael Betteridge – was sentenced to six months in jail for fraudulently claiming £25,000 in disability benefits, despite his ability to perform what were described as 'vigorous' dance moves on stage with Black Lace. None of which is featured in Still Pushing Pineapples. Why?
'It's a film set in the present,' says Hopkins, 'with only the first five minutes showing Black Lace's heyday. It's not meant to be a comprehensive story covering Dene's entire life. He had many highs and lows, divorces, wives, children – and on a practical level, there's no archive material aside from some newspaper headlines. It's not relevant to the story I was trying to tell. The defining element of his life is the song.'
Now, a decade on, the days of conga-ing in Kensington with Cheryl seem even more distant. As Hopkins' embedded cameras reveal, Michael is imprisoned in a different way. He now performs in notably reduced circumstances, often accompanied by his disabled mother and biggest fan, 91-year-old Anne, with whom he lives in a modest house in Bradford.
In one of the few nightclubs left open to entertainers like him, we see the singer do his cheerful best to grab the grannies of Blackpool with his bag of party tunes and well-worn dance routines. At Southport Pontins, this long-term singleton divorcé reconnects with an old pal, single mum Hayley; within two months they're so loved up she's having his name and face tattooed on her arm. (Spoiler alert: reader, he didn't marry her, but they are still together.)
Shortly after that, the trio embark on a road-trip. 'One of mum's dying [sic] wishes was to go back to Benidorm,' says Michael, 'because that was one of her favourite holiday places when my dad was alive.' So the new couple buy a Ford Transit Camper Van, plaster it with pineapple-based stickers and head off.
Without narration, talking-head interviews or, notably, judgement or condescension, Hopkins crafts a gem of end-of-the-pier cinema verité. Those lows include some floor-clearing gigs when Michael sings his Motown medley and him enduring on-camera cryolipolysis (having his fat frozen), the better to impress his new girlfriend. The highs, meanwhile, are Black Lace turning on the Christmas lights in Wythenshawe town centre.
Even the circumstances surrounding Michael's role as the sole torch-carrying hold-out from the good old days fall into Hopkins 'warts and all' category. His original partner in Black Lace, Barnsley native Alan Barton, died in 1995 when the tour bus carrying Smokie, the band Barton had joined after Black Lace, crashed in Germany during a storm.
Michael's Black Lace origin story, too, is, to say the least, tricky. At Christmas 1985 he was promoted from backing singer to full-time member of the band, alongside Barton. He took the place of Colin Routh, fired due to, as the newspaper headlines had it, his 'underage sex shame' – a relationship with a 15-year-old (Routh said at the time he thought 'she was in her late teens or early twenties').
'It's quite a difficult area,' acknowledges Hopkins with some understatement. 'I thought long and hard how to play that. That was also one of the reasons why I wasn't interested in a full history lesson on Black Lace. That would have been a different film.
'What I was really interested in was the fleeting nature of stardom,' she continues. 'In what happens to people when they've committed their entire lives to avoiding that nine-to-five job. Being a filmmaker, I'm in the same position. Dene and I are both from Yorkshire, we're of a similar age, we're both committed to what we do. And when you get to our age, you're left going: 'What was all that about?' That was the thing that really interested me.' Because, against all the odds and, you might say, all common sense, 'Dene is still on the road.'
Hence, she says, the film's opening image of Michael dressed in – trapped in – the fruity costume. 'That's the metaphor… and the metamorphosis. There's no escaping the pineapple.'
For Michael that remains the case, even when, towards the end of the film, after 40 years' service to the Black Lace 'brand', he's sacked – by text – by the longstanding manager and owner of said brand. He's duly reduced to billing himself as Dene Michael, 'former member of Black Lace'. It leaves only three gigs in the diary, climaxing at that booking in Wythenshawe, 50 miles from his home. It's the loneliness of the short-distance tribute act, with Michael a tribute to himself. But that pineapple must still be pushed.
That point was further driven home to Hopkins last summer. Routh died, aged 70, and she filmed Michael watching a video of his old bandmate's Tenerife funeral. We hear the vicar saying that Routh was happy with Agadoo being regularly described as the worst song ever written. 'And of course,' says Hopkins, 'Agadoo was played as his coffin was taken out.
'I thought: 'You can't escape this. You have become part of this. It's one and the same thing.' That was a eureka moment for me. Dean is not going to escape Agadoo. He has to embrace it.'
Yet Michael remains as hopeful as he is defiant as he is deluded. As he says at one point, considering the possibility of one more novelty hit and cranking up ChatGPT to have a go at writing one, 'I've still got that ambition, still got that hope'. Which is why, as it says on stickers on his motorhome and VW's bumpers, he's 'still pushing pineapples'.
The result is affectionate social realism – or, given the room-emptying qualities that many ascribe to Agadoo and Black Lace, anti-social realism. So much so that the film opens with an on-screen warning: 'This film features scenes from the 1980s that portray attitudes of the time which may or may not align with today's values. Viewer discretion is advised.'
Is that, I wonder, a reference to another of Black Lace's, er, bangers, Gang Bang ('a gang bang is the thing to do, we'd like to give you one')?
' Pretty much, yes,' replies Hopkins. 'Wig Wam Bam is also probably pretty difficult these days,' she adds of another of their iffy hits. 'It's basically cultural appropriation – it's about Native Americans.'
Michael and Barton famously appeared as themselves in Alan Clarke's classic, Bradford-set, kitchen-sink comedy Rita, Sue and Bob Too (1987), performing Gang Bang. Does he still play it now?
'I do to audiences over 18,' the musician replies. 'Obviously, when there's children in there, I wouldn't perform it. But in nightclubs, when they've all had a drink and everything, I do. And obviously people recognise me from the film, although I've changed my image a little bit. So people still know the song and still want to hear it performed.'
You'd be hard pushed to describe Still Pushing Pineapples as anything like a typical music documentary, as hagiographic or as even celebratory. It's downbeat, melancholic, but also strangely warming. It's a measured, thoughtful, pathos-rich, slow TV-style elegy for a lost time, a lost culture, a lost Britain. None of which are adjectives or ideas you'd normally connect with a band whose ear-maggot music was very much of its era. Hopkins admits she 'started off with a film featuring party anthems'.
But as she followed Michael back and forth along the A64, 'what I saw and felt was something else. Without making too grandiose claims, there's some allegorical feeling about that lie about Britain that we constantly try and [hide].' She mentions Adam Curtis's new iPlayer documentary series Shifty, which digs deep into that very idea (the UK is in 'a hazy, dream-like flux in which no one can predict what is coming next'), and the comparison is valid.
'Dene's fanbase is in Blackpool and Skegness and Minehead, these places that are really struggling. And that fanbase is dwindling. They're getting older. They're dying off. The club circuit's disappearing. So the feeling I had by the end is: the party's over.'
On one level, Dene Michael would go along with that. 'I've got spondylitis in the back, and I've just found out I've got prostate cancer. But they've caught it in time. So I'm OK. I'm going to be fine.'
But on another level, tickled by his close-up moment at Sheffield DocFest, he's as driven as ever. As Hopkins, radiating affection for her subject, puts it: 'Mum and Dene don't have a glass-half-full philosophy. They're glass-is-completely-full.'
So, even though the film draws to a close with Michael concerned about sparse bookings, an empty diary and fears about how he's going to support himself and his mum, the man talking to me now speaks of more gigs – and more hope.
'I choose the venues that I like to perform at now, because I'm sort of semi-retired. But who knows – after this film, I'll probably be back on tour again!'
'I hope so, Dene,' says Hopkins.

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• Daily Mail​

Jeremy Clarkson's Farm star Harriet Cowan shares rare loved-up picture with her long-term partner

's Farm star Harriet Cowan has shared a rare loved-up picture with her long-term partner, James Booth to TikTok on Thursday. The 24-year-old nurse and farmhand shocked viewers of the hugely popular Prime Video show when she appeared in the trailer for series four after Jeremy's co-star Kaleb Cooper temporarily left the show. And she has been enjoying her time in the spotlight ever since, now boasting half a million followers on Instagram and 700,000 over on TikTok. While she has not been cast permanently on the farm show, she has been keeping her fans updated on her personal life as she revealed a sweet back story about her relationship. Jumping on a recent TikTok trend, she took to the social media platform to share a cosy snapshot with her partner James alongside a throwback picture from their teen days in 2018. Harriet penned: 'From party teenagers in 2018, to mid-to-late 20s in 2025 and like to be in bed before 10. I hope I get to this life with you forever.' Harriet and her beau, who is believed to be a third-generation farmer, first met at a Young Farmer's meeting. Harriet has given her followers a sneak peek into their private life together through her social media and has an entire highlight dedicated to her 'love'. In one of her recent posts, she shared a clip of James behind the wheel of a green tractor, and suggested that that he is four years her senior. In another post, she quipped: 'The 'butterfly effect' is crazy because if I didn't join Young Farmers we'd never have met.' 'YFC gave me my whole life and for that I will be forever grateful!' Harriet also urged others to consider joining community groups, promising they will 'meet the greatest people'. Her followers were happy to see the couple together and publicly sharing insights into their life. One commented: 'Wishing you both eternal happiness,' while another added: 'You two are so cute,'. One follower, who has been in a relationship for a similar duration, shared: 'Me and my partner begun our relationship in 2018 too! 7 years, 1 dog, 2 kids and two homes later, we made it.' Some fans hinted at wedding bells, too. One joked: 'Buddy needs to put a ring on your finger.' And another cheekily asked: 'When's the wedding?.' Harriet recently broke her silence on a 'fake' Clarkson's Farm scene as she spoke candidly on a new podcast. She has been helping out Jeremy with an array of tasks on the farm and impressing viewers while also challenging stereotypes around women in farming. And last week Harriet appeared on the Should I Delete That podcast with Jeremy's daughter Emily. She spoke about one scene in the trailer that she thought seemed 'fake' when she watched it back but was in fact completely true. They discussed on the podcast how busy farmers are and how Harriet also works a full time nursing job five days a week. Emily asked her: 'Do you ever sit down with your boyfriend and chill together, or eat together? It sounds impossible.' Harriet then said: 'No! In the trailer where it's like, 'Have you watched Clarkson's Farm before?' And I'm like, 'No', and when I watched it it looked so fake. But it is so real because we don't watch telly. 'Literally, if we watch something, James will sit down, his head will hit the back of the sofa and he's asleep because the second he can rest, he'll sleep, because he's so tired all the time.' On the podcast Harriet also spoke about breaking stereotypes of women working in the world of farming On the podcast Harriet also spoke about breaking stereotypes of women working in farming. She said of appearing on the show: 'I wanted to show that women can do it too, we are there but people can't see it. Women can do it. 'Most people think of just older men wearing checked shirts when it comes to farming. 'I am challenging people's views of what people think a farmer looks like. People are so shocked when they drive past and I'm in the tractor they just stare.' The recent Clarkson's Farm trailer showed Jeremy running into several obstacles on the farm, yet TikTok star Harriet made a good impression as she was quick to help. Jeremy was left in awe at her work, turning to the camera and gushing: 'She's brilliant!' She wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty as she put in fences, loaded feed for the animals and even showed her welding skills on Diddly Squat Farm. Kaleb - who was on a nationwide tour - later returned to the farm and seemed to be getting along well with his replacement. It's hardly surprising that Harriet was a natural on the farm, having grown up helping her father Eddy tend to his land. She revealed on social media that her mother wanted her to become a nurse but her father wanted her to follow in his footsteps - so she opted to do both.