Ask Sahaj: My brother's getting married, and my ‘volatile' mom is getting meaner.

Dear Sahaj, I am a second-generation South Asian woman, and I'm in my mid thirties and single with a recently engaged older brother. We have a good relationship, and I've gotten closer to my future sister-in-law (FSIL) in the two years since he became open about her.
The dynamic in our parents' home has inevitably shifted, but it's unfavorable for me because of our dominating and emotionally volatile mom. She and FSIL act performatively, while I'm getting criticized in private for something I shouldn't have said and then expected to smile in photos — all while regulating my emotions and deep breathing instead of reacting. FSIL picks up on how Mom stresses me out, while Brother has become more of a mama's boy since his days of needing space.

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