New restaurant overseen by Michel Roux Jr is eye-wateringly priced
It's the kind of teething problem a restaurant often encounters within its first month of service, and, if anything, proves the team has succeeded in creating the fully 'immersive' experience they've heralded over the past year.
After all, the last thing on our minds while surrounded by high kicks and cocktail shakers was the mundane reality of fire safety laws.
And in the end, we make it just a few short steps away from our table before the warning is silenced, the lights dimmed, and the music resumes.
On with the show.
Pictured: Trocadero's is a new restaurant from Crossbasket Castle (Image: Supplied) I'm here as one of the first guests to check into the new hotel rooms at Crossbasket Castle following a £20 million investment for what promises to be an evening of 'indulgence and pure escapism'.
Be it the exquisite afternoon teas, plush art deco bedrooms or soon-to-open spa, there's a specific market I'm sure this approach will appeal to greatly.
Not unlike Gleneagles in Perthshire, the team appears to have spared no time or expense in their efforts to create a destination experience where luxury is standard, and it's remarkable how well this new addition blends in with the surroundings.
Sleek and modern, but leaving no doubt that the original 17th-century castle building is still very much the jewel in the 14-acre estate's crown.
Pictured: Crossbasket Castle on the outskirts of Glasgow (Image: Supplied) Following an afternoon of exploring both spaces, we now find ourselves at Trocadero's, the dance hall-themed extravaganza overseen by acclaimed chef Michel Roux Jr.
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This new restaurant, open to hotel guests and the public, is split over two levels, including a beautifully finished bar area with soft lighting and cosy booths which all but beg you to order a strong cocktail and leave your troubles at the door.
Try not to get caught up in the atmosphere of it all even just little bit, I dare you.
Pictured: Trocadero's promises to transport guests to a 'magical bygone era' (Image: Supplied) Unfortunately, there is something about Trocadero's that might soon burst your champagne bubbles.
The prices here are nothing short of eye-watering.
Had we not been invited for a press stay, I'd have needed at least one more of their dry gin martinis before daring to order. We can only hope that the quality of dishes fine-tuned by Mr Roux Jr will justify a return visit.
We ask our server for the evening if the seafood platter (£80) is too extravagant for two after clocking the price tag, but are assured it's an acceptable size for sharing between a couple.
Since checking in, the staff at Crossbasket have been exemplary with the answer to any query ready to go, so we trust their judgement fully.
Arriving across two tiers, the dishes consist of poached half west coast lobster, Scottish langoustine and oysters, stone bass ceviche, Shetland Crab cocktail and Scottish rapeseed oil mayonnaise.
Pictured: The seafood platter priced at £80. Diners can add 30g of caviar for an extra £70 (Image: Newsquest)
It's all wonderfully fresh, with particular highlights including plump white meat of the lobster that's been prepared with skilful precision so there's no risk of shell cracking onto crisp white tablecloth, and the Shetland crab cocktail in a retro marie rose sauce for spooning onto crisp toast slices.
Overall, less wow-factor than we had anticipated, but still a winning showcase of what Scotland's waters have to offer.
Though I usually loathe to choose steak while testing out a new menu, I'm intrigued by the Josper Grill they've highlighted in the meat section, and order the 280g Rib Eye of Speyside beef (£40). A slab of meat surrounded by an ocean of nothing save the Crossbasket Castle logo stamped on the rim of the plate.
Pictured: Steak from the Josper Grill (Image: Newsquest)
Looks aside, the beef is tender and cooked well to preference, with a good charring I can only assume is the work of the hallowed Josper. There's peppercorn sauce served on the side too (£4) a tad thinner than I'd like it but creamy enough to enhance the otherwise lonely red meat.
Cooked over charcoal, my partner's Ayrshire pork chop (£25) has that same, flame-scorched crust as the steak. It's a flavour that is hard to escape, but far from unpleasant. Especially if you're fond of a summer BBQ.
His cut is served on the bone with a fraction more pizzaz, atop a pickled walnut ketchup and accompanied by sticky red cabbage and shallot jus. I'd steal his idea next time.
Of the three sides we share - Jersey royal potatoes (£6), triple-cooked chips (£6) and buttered spring greens (£5) - it's the chips that impress the most. Glorious, thick cut and fluffy in the middle. Though I know fine dining portions are at play here, I'd have liked at least a handful more of those.
Pictured: An enormous tiramisu for two (Image: Newsquest)
From the dessert trolley (£16), it's a tiramisu-for-two, which in a stark contrast to the tiny side dishes served with our mains arrives as what looks like a small mixing bowl full of whipped cream and coffee-soaked lady fingers. It satisfies a craving for something sweet, but more does not mean better. Beneath a heavy blanket of bitter dark cocoa powder, the rest of the pudding feels as washed out. The cream too light and the filling too wet.
Not to worry. There's plenty of distraction from any luck lusture puds with the live entertainment, which for many will likely be the main draw at this new venue.
It's unapologetically bold and in-your-face fun.
I'm a fan of the band, appearing as if by magic sometime around the first course, and bursting into a repertoire of well-executed swing classics the moment the curtain was pulled back. Later, when the dancers emerged from backstage, they put on a fabulous display.
Pictured: The dancers at Trocadero's make their way through dinner tables (Image: Newsquest)
Perhaps if I were less uptight, I too would have found the moments they ventured amongst the tables with plastic saxophones in hand exhilarating rather than awkward. What exactly is the polite reaction when a dancer brings their energetic routine right to you, giving it 100% just inches away from an abandoned tiramisu?
In the end, I suppose it's as simple as that.
Trocadero's asks you to forget the outside world for the evening, and it's your ability to do so that will determine how much you get out of the experience.
But with prices like these, I'd expect the food to bring a whole lot more to the party.
Crossbasket Castle Hotel, Spa & Restaurant is located at Stoneymeadow Road,
Blantyre, G72 9UE.
For more information on Trocadero's, click here.
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