Scooter Hobbs column: Cinderella, no Wolf in rooster's clothing, yes

OMAHA, Neb. — Nah-nah-nah-nah, Coastal Carolina. Just no! Don't be bringing that thing in here. Just no.
CC: Who? What?
LSU: That Cinderella card you're trying to play. We ain't buying it.
CC: But we're …
LSU: Murray State was Omaha's Cinderella story this year. Had the papers to prove it. Didn't last long. The Racers went home early like good little princesses. Got their two-game stay, a good steak, a pat on the head and went back to Kentucky.
CC: And the LSU first baseman, Jared Jones, didn't even know where Coastal Carolina was located.
LSU: He had it narrowed down to either North or South Carolina.
CC: It's South, by the way. Conway. Maybe a long home run from Myrtle Beach.
LSU: Not exactly Starkville.
CC: You don't even know what a Chanticleer is.
LSU: Oh yeah? It's fictional, but it's an angry rooster of some sort. Came to life in the pages of 'Canterbury Tales,' one of Geoffrey Chaucer's better works, or so we're told.
CC: Then pronounce it.
LSU: Uh, give us a minute. Cha …
CC: Try SHON-ti-cheer. The enunciation-challenged just call us 'Chants.'
LSU: Thanks. But what's that got to do with baseball?
CC: LSU is baseball royalty …
LSU: Proud of it, too.
CC: Seven national championships. Owns Omaha. What do y'all call it? Geauxmaha? Alex Box North?
LSU: And you're trying to kidnap the Tigers' Cornfield Alumni, the adopted fan base, with this Cinderella nonsense. Teal Nation, is it?
CC: But it's only our second time in Omaha.
LSU: Yeah, and how did the other one turn out?
CC: OK, we won the national championship in 2016.
LSU: That's 1-for-1.
CC: People say it was a fluke.
LSU: Not the Tigers. They were eyewitnesses. You beat LSU in the super regionals that year — in Baton Rouge, in Alex Box South, swept the Tigers in two games. You don't fluke something like that.
CC: And, yeah, got hot in Omaha.
LSU: Tell the current LSU coach about it. Jay Johnson was on the receiving end of it. Was at Arizona then, and y'all took down his Wildcats. Still has the scars.
CC: Ancient history. Different team.
LSU: No kidding. You're the hottest team in the country. You've won 26 consecutive games — 26! How does that happen? LSU never has never done it. Ever.
CC: Didn't play the schedule LSU did.
LSU: Doesn't matter. What is it, 56 wins overall? Looked it up. That's five more than any team in the country.
CC: We were fortunate.
LSU: It includes the postseason, 8-0 there.
CC: LSU is unbeaten in Omaha, super regionals, too.
LSU: Lost to little ol' Little Rock in the regionals.
CC: But we don't play in the mighty SEC.
LSU: You played Auburn, the No. 4 national seed, in the super regionals.
CC: Yeah, that was a good weekend.
LSU: You swept the War Eagles. LSU got swept at Auburn in the regular season there — the lone team that beat the Tigers three times.
CC: But LSU is the No. 6 national seed.
LSU: Auburn was No. 4. Didn't bother you then.
And you didn't come out of nowhere. You were No. 13, got to host a regional. Didn't exactly come out of the boondocks.
CC: Cinderella. That's our story and we're sticking to it. All aboard the cute and cuddly bandwagon.
LSU: We know how to settle this. There's your coach over there, a Mr. Kevin Schnall, I believe it is, let's listen to him up there on the podium.
CC: We heard him. He's an alum.
LSU: He looks like something out of a bad baseball movie, scraggly beard and all. Funny guy, seems to have a bit of an edge to him. But here's what he said about Coastal being in Omaha:
'It's incredible but it's not unbelievable,' sayeth he. 'And it's not unbelievable because we've got really good players — really good players.'
I'm afraid he blew your cover. Cinderella, my …
—
Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at scooter.hobbs@americanpress.com

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