Mrs Rayner's tone was markedly less fiery. A tigress tamed. A curry taken down from vindaloo to korma: QUENTIN LETTS on Prime Minister's Questions
With Sir Keir Starmer still not back from foreign jaunts – for so unexciting a man to have such wanderlust is psychologically intriguing – it fell to Angela Rayner to do the honours at PMQs.
On Tuesday she had chaired Cabinet. Now she was at the despatch box using those hallowed words normally reserved for prime ministers: 'This morning I had meetings with ministerial colleagues; I shall have further such meetings later today.'
It is rare to hear a deputy use the revered formula. Usually they will simply say: 'I have been asked to respond.' Has Ms Rayner started to fancy her chances of replacing stodgy Starmer? Beside her sat Rachel Reeves, once talked of as her rival. On her other side: Yvette Cooper, another whose share price has fallen. Ms Rayner's aide, Mark Ferguson, sat behind her with a folder of prompt notes fatter than a Harry Potter hardback. Team Rayner had prepared in depth for this test flight. But sometimes you so over-prepare that you lose spontaneity.
'If they ask you about the rape-gangs inquiry, aim for statesmanship,' her advisers possibly said. Sure enough, the Tories ' front man, Chris Philp, focused on that inquiry and on immigration.
Mr Philp can be a staccato performer but he did all right. He was trim, clear, nicely regretful when talking about Sir Keir's mishandling of the grooming gangs scandal. Not that the usual, blurty Philp was entirely absent. His shirt collars were askew and he did a lot of that frowning that lends him the look of a man trying to suppress dreadful burps.
A Leander rowing club course marshal had possibly been mugged in Henley to provide Ms Rayner with her blue blazer and white trousers. Compared to the usual Rayner fashion disasters, jolly smart. She twice thanked Mr Philp for his 'tone' on the rape scandal. What she probably meant was 'your boss Badenoch has been annoyingly outspoken on this issue and it is costing us votes'.
Ms Rayner's own tone was markedly less fiery than of old. A tigress tamed. A curry taken down a few pegs from vindaloo to korma. Here was a reduced-sodium, semi-skimmed, low-cal Rayner, keen to look composed. Her voice sounded as if it had fluff on the stylus.
The original Rayner – Rayner Classic, as marketing executives might say – leapt up to the table, whacked the box, yabber-dabbered and laughed a lot. Ange Mark II was eager to portray dignity and open-mindedness. She leaned nonchalantly on the despatch box. She stood at a sideways angle instead of her former full-chested stance. She praised a Tory MP for some pub-charity effort in his constituency. And it all felt... flat.
Engineers had not succeeded in removing all the old characteristics. Prescottian linguistic glitches were still evident.
She spoke of 'Italia' instead of Italy, complained that the past government had 'spivved money up the wall' and claimed on some spending matter that 'we've given the biggest amount of increase'. Such things are minor. What may matter is any loss of verve, any sense that she has been made less authentic to suit her ambitions.
As PMQs ended there was a pause as the Transport Secretary, Heidi Alexander, ran to the despatch box. The thudding as of rhino hooves. Clerks' papers fluttered and some water glasses nearby rippled.
Ms Alexander, a likeably straightforward sort, announced the latest diminution of the c.£100billion HS2 railway. What a shameful episode for our political class, for past ministers, yes, but also mandarins, consultants, commentators, think-tankers, economists, forecasters and grubby lobbyists.
Big Heidi had an attack of the Rayners when she tried talking about Wales and spoke, twice, about 'Relsh Wailways'.
Of greater interest was a question from Clive Efford (Lab, Eltham) who hoped that civil servants who signed HS2 contracts would be asked why they approved spending sometimes before job specifications were set.
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