'It happened subtly over time' - MEP highlights coercive control after ex-partner jailed
Sinn Féin MEP Kathleen Funchion has spoken of her relief after her former partner was jailed yesterday, adding that she wanted to make people aware of coercive control.
Sean Tyrell was convicted under the Harassment and Harmful Communications Act for four months, with a separate four-month term suspended for two years.
Tyrell made a number of false allegations against Ms Funchion, who met him while campaigning for her when she was running for Sinn Féin.
Speaking on RTÉ's News at One, Ms Funchion said she wanted to make more people aware of coercive control following the sentencing.
"I think one of the reasons why I was anxious to speak about the situation is to explain to people, and for other people in the situation is that it is something that you don't see happening, in terms of it's very subtle," she said.
"When you're with someone who is a controlling person, that doesn't happen overnight. It's subtle and it happens over time.
"You get to a stage where you feel there's something wrong with you, and it's not something where you wake up one morning and realise, this is not a great situation. It happens over time."
Tyrell accused Ms Funchion a number of times of being unfaithful, had access to her phone and wanted her to take a lie detector test.
"There were difficulties in terms of him continuously alleging that I was unfaithful," Ms Funchion said.
"He had absolutely no reason to think that, and no evidence to prove that was the case at all. No matter what I said, he was adamant that I had been unfaithful in the relationship. I found that very difficult.
"He wanted me to take a lie detector test, which I would say at one point I was considering doing. That shows how it really gets into your head and you really do doubt yourself.
"When I think back about that now, I thought that this will resolve the issue, that someone being able to go through your phone, that you can show that there's nothing to hide.
"When you're removed from the situation and you're speaking to other people, you realise that that is not normal behaviour, that level of mistrust in a relationship. But because it happens subtly over time, you don't necessarily see it like that," she added.
Ms Funchion reached out to the Amber women's refuge in Kilkenny before going to gardaí.
She encouraged anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation to do the same.
"I think it got to a point in August 2022, where I was really at breaking point. I was very, very upset. I wasn't sleeping or eating.
"I feel like I spent all of that time in my life crying ... I went into the gardaí and spoke to them, and was very lucky that I got to speak to the Protective Services unit of the gardaí in Kilkenny.
"They have been incredible, and unbelievable in the work that they do on a daily basis. I found that they were objective, but so professional and kind in their approach. They really made me feel that I wasn't going crazy," she said.
Ms Funchion said that she felt "physically lighter" after Tyrell was sentenced yesterday, but that this was something she would carry with her for the rest of her life.
"I was nervous thinking about yesterday and what the potential outcome could be, but I don't think I realised how great the relief would be until I was actually in that situation yesterday. I literally felt physically lighter."
She said that it was an incredible feeling to have been listened to and vindicated, however the experience has changed her life.
"I find it difficult to acknowledge this about myself, but it has changed my life, and not in a positive way," Ms Funchion said.
"I have very serious issues with trust as a result of this, I don't see that ever leaving me.
"I question people more that come into my life, and I keep my circle very, very small ... But I am really glad that I did see this through to the end, and that there was justice yesterday.
"I do feel very strongly about that and I do feel that I was listened to," she added.
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