Sam Fender's life off stage – health struggles, 'stoner', and social issues
Singer-songwriter Sam Fender has always been open about his mental health and the struggles he has faced over the years, as well as his journey to fame
Sam Fender has never shied away when it comes to sharing an insight into his life and his mental health. The musician, 31, will today headline BBC Radio 1's Big Weekend in Liverpool, performing alongside the likes of Myles Smith, Sugababes, Blossoms and Inhaler.
However, off-stage, Fender has been widely praised for being a positive influence on young men, as well as initiating conversations about mental health and toxic masculinity. After the coronavirus pandemic, Sam released his second solo album, Seventeen Going Under, following his chart-topping 2019 debut, Hypersonic Missiles.
In the album, he chronicled his struggles during the pandemic, revealing that he received a letter from the NHS instructing him to shield for 12 weeks. Earlier this year, he went on to score his third Number One album with People Watching, spawning hits including a track of the same name, Arm's Length and Tyrants.
Speaking about the record, Fender said: "Our third album, People Watching. Feels pretty surreal saying that, it was a baptism of fire making it over the last 3 years. I want to send a huge thank you to Markus Dravs and Adam Granduciel for helping us steer the ship, it was a hell of a journey! I want to thank the fans for their unwavering support and patience. I'm eternally gobsmacked by the response to these songs, and humbled to see so many familiar and new faces at the shows."
Before achieving worldwide recognition, the singer-songwriter confessed to being "a little stoner" and failing his A-Level studies in his hometown of North Shields. Sam and his mum, Shirley, lived in a flat plagued with black mould. Reflecting on his lockdown experience, Sam admitted he coped "horrendously", neglecting self-care by overeating and drinking, which left him feeling "miserable".
His father, Alan, struggled to express emotions, leaving Sam concerned that he had been taught toxic masculinity due to his father's emotional reticence. Despite appearing confident now, Sam admits he was filled with self-loathing after finding fame, leading to intense self-hatred.
"I was dealing with abandonment issues, my folks split up when I was young and I lived with my dad, but then he and I stopped getting on," he shared with The Guardian. He also revealed that he was bullied at school for having long hair and being "sensitive".
Although he didn't retaliate against his bullies, Fender remembers "snapping" in his 20s, resorting to hitting walls to release his pent-up anger and frustration. His debut album featured the poignant track Dead Boys, which has been a lifeline for fans grappling with dark thoughts.
Sam opened up about the personal significance of the song, revealing in 2021: "I lost a good friend to suicide last year, and I'm not going to lie to you – over lockdown, and even before, I was in that sort of place myself. I had moments where I was so low that I thought about it," before he clarified that he never attempted it.
In a candid chat with NME back in 2018, he shared: "I lost some friends very close to me because of that. This song came from that place, and I have been playing it to other people ever since. It's raised a conversation and I realised how much of a present issue it is. Everybody that I spoke to from all different parts of the country have all got a connection to someone they've lost."
He also touched on the damaging effects of "toxic masculinity" on mental health discussions, particularly among men who are often pressured by outdated notions of stoicism. "I was told not to cry as a kid," he disclosed, before condemning the harmful mindset: "It's that sort of backwards attitude, so when we feel bad we feel ashamed or we feel like embarrassed."
Sam previously spoke openly about taking time off to prioritise his wellbeing. In 2022, he cancelled several performances, citing "burnout" from touring. At the time, he explained that it would be "hypocritical" to continue working while neglecting his own mental health.
In a statement released in September 2022, Fender said: "It seems completely hypocritical of me to advocate discussion on mental health and write songs about it if I don't take time to look after my own mental health. I've neglected myself for over a year now and haven't dealt with things that have deeply affected me.
"It's impossible to do this work on myself while on the road, and it's exhausting feigning happiness and wellness for the sake of business. My friends and colleagues have been worried about me for a while and it's not going to get better unless I take the time to do so." He later explained he was beyond grateful to his fans for understanding before adding: "Me and the boys are burnt out and we need this time."
Over the course of his career, Sam has also tackled the injustice within the socioeconomic scene and used his platform for the better. His working-class background has remained strong throughout his music, with millions relating to Seventeen Going Under He's spoken openly about the tough times when his mum couldn't work due to fibromyalgia and mental health issues.
Reflecting on his previous album, Sam shared: "To be honest, with this record, it wasn't actually a real aim to tackle social issues, it was just I'd done therapy for two years once I started getting famous. That, basically, opened up a whole can of worms with my upbringing. I just ended up writing about home a lot more, writing about my life, and writing about my mother. Them stories just have a social conscience in them, because it's talking about very, very normal things that happen to very normal people."
In an interview with The Big Issue, Sam remembered how his mum Shirley felt "embarrassed" by their hardships, but now that his circumstances have transformed, he remains tightly knit with his North East community. Proudly off benefits, Sam expressed: "It's amazing, I love that."
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