‘New energy' was a bust – our Government's headless-chickening mirrors a world on fire & their goose is already cooked
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THE Duracell Bunny is about to keel over. His batteries are on the blink.
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The 'New Energy' promised by former Taoiseach, the young pup
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Now, I'm not blaming Simon and the rest of the Dail ditherers for all of the world's catastrophes
Credit: � 2025 PA Media, All Rights Reserved
Far from hitting the ground running, the new
Away from our shores,
Now, I'm not blaming Simon and the rest of the Dail ditherers for any of those catastrophes.
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That would be a bit mad and I'm not quite Looney Tunes yet. Give it time.
The impending end of civilisation should keep you awake at night.
If you can somehow manage to sleep soundly despite all the horror, drop me a line and reveal your secret.
I'd love to know how your nerves aren't frayed, how you're not one step from the ward for the very, very nervous.
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I wish they'd all just exit stage left with their wars and their egos. Or self-combust.
Didn't we endure enough suffering during three interminable years of the
Simon Harris 'does not expect' poll on Irish unity in this decade
So, we certainly don't need the added torment of a
But it's what we have. So suck it up as best you can.
Throwing your
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You may also want to douse your mobile phone in a flammable liquid and set it ablaze (that thing you look at for hours from one end of the day to the other contains all the poison that has turned many of us into angry, intolerant idiots).
Burn it, smash it, dump it in a toilet, whatever, get rid of it.
RARE HAPPINESS
Nowadays, happiness only exists in the warm embrace of those closest to you, perhaps, or in a few silent moments you steal for yourself, or in the joy of sport, the hum of nature at peace with itself.
Hope though is a hard commodity to find. Like ste behind a rocking horse, as a dear old friend used to say in moments of supreme clarity.
There's precious little hope to be found away from these shores, except maybe on a desert island.
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Even there, the hand of Trump hovers like a dark shadow, a Hooded Claw.
At home too, hope is like a dried-up well, or a rain-drenched
MORE DOOM AND GLOOM
Hope is a hole in your shoe, especially if you're young.
Those poor sods must be tearing their hair out at the gomdaw antics of those handed the power to fix their broken lives.
A failed generation under the omnipresent
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And what do we get from the banjaxed Duracell Bunny Harris?
Not hope, no, just more doom and gloom. It's all he has to offer.
What has he and his Government done in the last six months apart from talk and talk and talk.
They're 'engaging key stakeholders' now and have set up an 'accelerating infrastructure taskforce' to deliver deliverables.
Plenty of blah, blah, blah and damn all do, do, do.
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EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES
They had another talking shop on Monday, the National
'There are dark clouds on the horizon,' said Harris, his ever-greying face mirroring the sombre mood that has descended.
Talk about stating the bleedin' obvious, though. Sherlock and that thing we do twice a day (if we're lucky) come to mind.
The lads and lassies in Leinster House know their goose is already cooked and they're barely seven months into their Government term.
Success or failure depends entirely on Trump now.
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If tariffs arrive, then the game is up and the Government knows it.
The days of having our coffers stuffed with many billions in US multinational cash is about to abruptly end.
IRISH EXPORTS SOARED
In the first three months of this year,
Most of that was pharma giants getting their product to the States before Trump's tariffs kick in. Clever sods.
We may have bumper receipts now from US multinationals, but they will fall off a cliff when Trump's tariff axe swings.
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If only successive governments HADN'T put all the eggs in the one multinational basket. But they did.
The success of the
The Emperor has no clothes, no wonder the Duracell Bunny has lost his lustre.
PUTIN'S LIES ON WAR CRIMES
RUSSIA repeatedly claims it isn't targeting civilians in Ukraine.
It's a nauseating lie, of course, but Putin and his army of psychopaths revel in deception and double-speak.
Since Ukraine wiped out much of Russia's fleet of bombers in a daring attack last month, Putin has unleashed record-breaking volleys of missiles and drones at Ukrainian cities, indiscriminately bombing apartment blocks, shopping centres and schools.
One such blatant attack by an Iranian drone was captured live on Ukrainian TV as it slammed into the side of a high-rise block of flats.
It was a shuddering sight.
Anyone inside would have died on impact. Putin doesn't care.
His goal is to drag the war out as long as he can and exhaust the civilian population with nightly terror raids, like the one pictured here.
Trump, who has said he 'likes' Putin, obviously hasn't the balls to stand up to the Russian tyrant, so he keeps on killing with abandon.
LISTEN TO MACRON, FELLAS
HE may have married his teacher, a woman 22 years his senior, but when French President
As US President Donald Trump prepared to join
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Emmanuel Macron denounced the idea of using force in regime change in Tehran
Credit: AFP
He immediately denounced the idea of using force to achieve regime change in Tehran, reminding Trump and Israel's
'Does anyone think that what was done in
For those with short memories, the invasion of
It also fuelled the rise of Isis across the
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The toppling of Muammar Gaddafi in Libya also led to a brutal civil war in the north African country, one that divided the country in two and still bubbles along to this day.
While conceding the Israeli point that it has a right to defend itself and that Iran, a state sponsor of terrorism around the world – Hezbollah and
He said: 'I think the biggest mistake today is to use military means to bring about regime change in Iran because that would mean chaos.'
Trump and Netanyahu aren't listening though.
Netanyahu bluntly said that killing Ayatollah Khamenei, Iran's Supreme leader, 'is not going to escalate the conflict, it's going to end the conflict'.
Trump added: 'We know exactly where he is. We are not going to take him out (kill!), at least for now.'
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Khamenei appeared on TV from his bunker, vowing no surrender.
Long weeks lie ahead of us.
KIRBY A REAL JOY
DUNNO if you're into cycling – the sport, not the dangerous exercise of getting from A to B on Irish roads – but I was delighted to hear the chuckling tones of cycling commentating legend Carlton Kirby on TNT Sports this week as he took viewers on a linguistic waltz during the Tour of Switzerland.
Carlton is a fellow Sheffield Wednesday sufferer, so he's a kindred spirit. I could listen to him for days on end.
Cadence, wit and repartee are his middle names.
Among the gems he revealed about Switzerland is the fact each town, village or hamlet employs a caretaker whose job is to keep the public realm in tip-top shape.
Grass verges are never overgrown, graffiti never up for long and fag butts as alien as ketchup on a fondue.
FARCICAL CLUB CUP
CLUB World Cup anyone? Nah, you're alright.
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Bayern Munich beat a bunch of amateurs from Auckland 10-0
Credit: Getty Images - Getty
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An online platform called DAZN is the only place you can watch it, if you are bothered to jump through hoops backwards trying to sign up to their free stream.
DAZN reportedly paid $1BILLION for the privilege of being the exclusive broadcasters.
The competition, which kicked off last weekend, soon descended into farce after
Who wants to watch that? Not even the most die-hard sports fans, and I count myself among their number, would get excited by a Club World Cup.
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Reports from
The Club World Cup will limp to a conclusion over the next few weeks out of the spotlight.
Feck all people will tune in.
And Fifa will quietly drop it when they realise it's a dead duck.
HIQA REPORTS ALLEGATIONS OF ABUSE
HIQA must have read my column last week, because this week they confirmed they have passed reports on alleged abuses at two Emeis Ireland-run nursing homes in Dublin and Portlaoise to Gardai.
Nothing less will do.
Hiqa also reported some 198 allegations of abuse at one of them, yet they went on to say that it 'didn't necessarily mean a failure at compliance'.
Talk about utter hogwash. Hiqa is as useful as a monkey without a tail.
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