I uninvited my brother from my wedding because he fat-shamed my fiancée - but my parents say I'm ruining the family
A groom-to-be has banned his own brother from his wedding after he made fat-shamed his future wife.
However, the man was criticised by his family for being too 'sensitive' and 'ruining' the occasion 'over a few jokes'.
But the future husband believes he is in the right, and has provisionally uninvited his brother, three years older, unless he agrees to make a genuine apology and stop his jibes.
The 29-year-old took to the popular Reddit forum Am I The A**hole to detail his situation, and ask for advice from unbiased community members.
He wrote: 'My brother has always had a "dark sense of humour" and the family usually just laughs it off.
'I am getting married this fall to my fiancée, who's amazing, kind and, yes, on the curvier side.
'Every time we see my brother, he makes subtle digs about her weight.
'Things like "Hope the aisle's wide enough" or "You sure you're ready to carry all that emotional and physical weight?"
'I've told him multiple times to cut it out. He always says I'm too sensitive and that "she needs to toughen up if she wants to be part of this family."
'Last week, I told him he's not invited to the wedding unless he sincerely apologises to her and promises to stop.
'He laughed and said I'm being dramatic and letting her "control me."
'My parents are now upset, saying I'm overreacting and ruining the family over a few jokes.'
The poster went on to ask if he was in the wrong for standing his ground, detailing his worry that he may be overreacting by excluding a close family member from a major life event.
He also expressed concern about the potential long-term effects of his stance, fearing he could be causing real tension with his parents and not giving his brother a chance to change.
But the post racked up hundreds of opinionated comments, with many believing the groom was doing the right thing.
One person wrote: 'Losing the few pounds that is your brother before your wedding seems like an awesome weight loss goal.'
Another said: 'Those aren't "subtle" remarks. They are rude and hurtful. His jokes aren't jokes.'
Many commented on the brother's apparent comedic taste, arguing it isn't an acceptable brand of humour.
'You aren't ruining the family over a few jokes. Your brother is,' one said.
Another wrote: 'He doesn't have a dark sense of humour, he's just a bully.'
Responders were quick to give their analysis of the situation, with many believing the extended family should have done more to protect the bride-to-be.
One wrote: 'I feel I have an understanding of dark humour and making fun of someone's weight isn't it.
'That's called being a jerk, especially since you asked more than once.
'Your family is also part of the issue for enabling and dismissing this behavior as just jokes. It's giving "boys will be boys" vibes to me.'
One person even diagnosed the brother as a 'sociopath', writing: 'It is a form of abusive behavior. The brother is a sociopath.
'I can't believe all the people who allow abusers to pass off abusive behavior like this as "humour". The people who allow it are worse than the abuser, in my opinion.'
The comments argued the bride should not have to endure snide remarks on a day when she is meant to feel special.
'She deserves the chance to not be on guard for these types of "jokes"', said one.
'This is your chance to stand up for your forming family and lay some hard boundaries.
'If this was your daughter, would you want her to experience these jokes? If you run these situations by the "child" test, you would have your answer every time.'
Some went as far as to say the parents should also be disinvited if they 'can't get on board' with the groom-to-be's decision to ban the brother from the event.
'If your parents can't get on board with your decision, they don't get to come either,' wrote one defiant commenter.
'It's gone on long enough already. An apology is neither here nor there. If you've told him multiple times to stop and he hasn't then he has had multiple chances to change already.'
Another person echoed this sentiment, writing: 'Uninvite your parents too. They're as bad as your brother.'
The post has received over 500 comments at the time of writing, with the comments section overwhelmingly voting in favour of uninviting the brother and praising the groom for taking a stand and defending his wife.
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