Talking about mental wealth
Opinion
Talking about money can be taboo for many. That's despite money often being on our minds, enmeshed in a host of emotions — good and bad.
If you've ever wondered why, an upcoming event is an opportunity to gain insight and even ask a few burning questions on your mind about your mental wealth.
Money on Your Mind, an event presented May 4 by Jewish Child and Family Service (JCFS) at the Asper Jewish Community Campus, offers the opportunity to hear from a world-renowned authority on the subject: Winnipeg's own, Dr. Moira Somers.
Dr. Moira Somers is a world-renowned psychologist in money and mental health. (Ruth Bonneville / Free Press)
Ruth Bonneville / Free Press
Dr. Moira Somers is a world-renowned psychologist in money and mental health.
The author of Advice that Sticks: How to Give Financial Advice that People Will Follow and a soon-to-be-published book on the psychology of fraud, Stumbles, Snakes and Scandals: Understanding and Preventing Financial Misconduct, Somers is a clinical neuropsychologist specializing in financial psychology and founder of the practice Mind, Money and Meaning.
The two-hour event won't involve Somers talking about financial psychology so much as being an audience-guided discussion.
It's likely a lot of people are feeling stressed about money lately, says Alexis Wenzowski, chief operating officer at JCFS.
'We are always looking to offer programming on issues impacting individuals and a lot of people are losing sleep because of financial worries lately,' she says, noting the event was jointly conceived by JCFS's mental health and addiction services group and its Asper Empowerment Program.
The Asper program is a relatively new initiative at JCFS, funded by a $100,000 grant from the Asper family to provide services such as free tax return preparation, budgeting and employment development, while addressing other economic issues such as food security in the city's Jewish community.
'We recognized that financial stress ultimately causes disruption in family relationships … and so we were looking at how we could foster a serious conversation about how mental wellness intersects with financial wellness,' Wenzowski says.
It's a growing area of interest, including among wealthier families in North America who might at first glance have few money problems. Yet they, too, often face challenges dealing with the sometimes fiery emotions that arise around money.
'Financial psychology really cuts across all demographics,' says Somers, a sought-after speaker across North America, who also works with Blackwood Family Enterprise that provides financial services to families with successful businesses.
After all, we all share common biology, she adds.
'A lot of what goes on with financial well-being really does lie in the brain regarding our relationships to money and so we really have to get our heads straight before we can get our behaviour straight.'
Often, views about money are so deeply embedded in our psyche, we have difficulty recognizing them for what they are.
'A lot of the things we learn about money we learn when we're young, watching the grown-ups,' Somers says. 'And we're great observers, but we're lousy interpreters.'
As children, we can witness emotional conversations about money without entirely understanding what they're about and whether the ideas they convey about money are even healthy.
'Sometimes, money messages we learn aren't the right ones like 'money is bad,' or 'money is the most important thing,'' Somers says.
These black-and-white ideas about money often foster inflexible mindsets we carry into adulthood — buried deep within and yet insidiously impactful.
Consider the widely held notion that talking about money is taboo.
'If we hold this belief, then we might not negotiate our salary; we might not talk to our dates about what we believe is important in life and that can lead to showing up in marriage with all kinds of unspoken assumptions,' Somers says.
Recognizing and unpacking emotions underpinning money is a good first step toward dealing with financial challenges in a constructive way.
'For example, it's generally healthy to know how money is coming in and out of your life,' Somers says. 'That's being financially conscious.'
Yet many people don't look at their credit card statements 'or they have no idea how much it's costing them to live their life.'
That's not our fault entirely. We're hardwired to face what's in front of us and employ a bevy of mental constructs just to get us through the day. Trying to see the big picture might be too much to bear.
'Procrastination is the enemy of progress, but it can feel so good at the time to just kick that can down the road,' she adds.
Success toward better financial well-being can seem unattainable because finances and our emotions are so complex. Problems appear daunting and insurmountable.
So start small, Somers suggests. 'What is one small thing you can do that can get you closer to what it is that you're trying to accomplish that will make a difference?'
That can be as simple as reading a financial news article every day or having a regular conversation with someone you trust about money.
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The event May 4, from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., might be a good first step. Tickets are $18 — though if that's too rich for your budget, contact JCFS, which may be able to help you still attend, Wenzowski says.
'The event is meant to be open to everyone,' she adds.
'It's a chance to have an honest conversation with someone specializing in this area, where, hopefully, people can learn some skills to cope with money stress and ultimately feel more empowered.'
Joel Schlesinger is a Winnipeg-based freelance journalist
joelschles@gmail.com
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