A special tribute to fathers
hough often seen as stern, these fathers showed care in their own ways — through hard work, presence, and life lessons — reminding us to appreciate them while we can. – AFP photo
FATHERS are often associated with discipline, sternness or authority, but these personal stories are a reminder that they too are learning as they go. They may not always get it right, but they grow with us – stumbling, adapting, and doing the best with the love they know how to give. Let's hear what these individuals have to say in their tributes to fathers.
Balakrishnan Perumal
What I remember most about my late father was that he was friendly, approachable and hardworking. He served as a Landscape Supervisor with the Public Works Department (JKR) in Ipoh, Perak, and was blessed with seven children, while my mother was a full-time housewife.
Although he only completed Tamil school up to Year Six, he had the potential to pursue secondary education.
However, during British colonial times, secondary school came with a fee that his family couldn't afford. Despite that, he secured a civil service job which was more accessible than for those who had completed Standard Five or Six.
My father used to tell me: 'If I can jump 10 times, you should be able to jump 20 times.'
I didn't understand it then, but later I realised he meant that he wanted us to surpass him in life.
I myself left school after Form Three to support my younger siblings, working various jobs including at a Japanese quarry company and later the military, before eventually settling in Sarawak.
There are many sacrifices when you have a family – raising children, maintaining a home and dealing with illness.
I remember my father fondly, especially his ability to connect with people of all races. He was never arrogant and was always respectful.
There is no father who doesn't love his children – we only hope our children will be more successful than us.
My advice to the younger generation is: Visit your father. Don't just call or message. Technology is convenient, but nothing replaces face-to-face time. Appreciate your parents while they're still here. — Balakrishnan Perumal, 69
Tony Yap
My late father worked in Sabah while we stayed in Sibu, and he would only come home once a year for the festive season. We weren't very close, but we respected him as he always sent money home and supported us, and that mattered.
With seven siblings and a hardworking mother, life wasn't easy. My father worked as a carpenter, eventually moving into renovation work.
Despite the distance, he did his best. Some parents don't even send money – at least he did, and that was his way of caring.
I remember how my father would only come back once a year during festive seasons.
When he came home for the New Year, we were happy to see him. We understood the meaning of father, even though we weren't super close.
My father loved cars but despite that, he was frugal, disciplined and very careful with money. He was frugal – spending only when necessary – and I think his lifestyle and what he had to sacrifice for the family made him the way he is.
Growing up with that experience shaped how I approach fatherhood. Even though I'm not a perfect father, I try to be present – I don't want my kids to just remember me from a distance.
While providing financially is important, emotional presence matters just as much. I make sure to tell my children I'm proud of them and listen when they speak. It's something I didn't get much of, so I know how valuable it is.
I'm still learning every day, but I show up – that is what I promised I would do differently. – Tony Yap, 54
Samuel Tan
My dad was a discipline teacher. You'd expect someone with that title to be strict, but at home, he was fair and kind.
He had rules but he never made us feel afraid. My father taught me how to be responsible, but not to stress over things too much – that balance helped me grow.
One of the most important lessons he taught me was that academic results aren't everything, and always reminded us that everyone has their own strengths and paths.
In his own way, I saw his love – he would 'tapao' (takeaway) food I liked or helped with something I wanted.
He always showed up for me, even in quiet ways. I want others to know that our fathers are also going through life for the first time – they're learning too.
So, when they ask how to use a phone or computer, don't get annoyed.
Be patient. This Father's Day, whether near or far, lets us honour the fathers who have guided, supported and sacrificed for us.
A heartfelt conversation, visit or even a simple 'thank you' can mean more than we realise. – Samuel Tan, 25 apai bapa dad Father's Day papa sarawak
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