‘Puked': Gross reaction to singer's dance video
Even in 2025, a woman cannot own her body or sexuality without some jerk yelling 'gross' from the sidelines — and that sad reality has bubbled to the surface yet again on social media, with British singer Lola Young this time the target.
Young caught the world's attention with her hit song Messy, but it's really her latest single — One Thing — that has caused a storm.
The song — and promotional videos — are all about Young simply owning her sexuality and explicitly stating she wants a sexual relationship rather than a romantic relationship with someone.
The song's lyrics include: 'Break your bed and then the sofa, I wanna pull you closer' and 'I wanna show you just what I like, I wanna kiss you slow, wanna f**k you rough'.
However, the sultry song has been met with harsh criticism, mainly surrounding Young's appearance.
''Break the bed and then the sofa'? Might be time to hit the gym,' one social media user cruelly wrote.
Another said: 'Ya no I'll pass,' while one added: 'Nah, I'm good'.
'And what is she bragging about,' someone else questioned.
Among the slew of gross reactions, one person said they 'puked several times' watching the video, another claimed they felt 'violated'.
'Alright your 15 minutes ending awhile ago,' one rudely declared.
Meanwhile, others jumped online to defend the 24-year-old singer. TikTok user Phoebe Cartwright wrote: 'God forbid a curvy girl catches a vibe or a woman bigger than a size 8 sexualises herself.'
Music fan Lyds Jones also defended the up-and-coming musician, saying: 'Every time a woman drops a banger like this we never fail to see how society only wants women to be sexualised but not sexual.
'If you are ever bothered by a woman empowering her own body and desires in her own music, than you are a little weasel.'
Another commented: 'Everyone loves a sexual song until it's a woman singing the same way men sing constantly about women.
'When Lola Young gets hate for sexualising herself in her music simply because she doesn't fit into your beauty standards. Fatphobia is alive and well.'
Others weighed in on the simple fact that if Young was a 'skinny, blonde girl' such as Taylor Swift or Sabrina Carpenter, there wouldn't be an issue with the song.
'I love the men commenting negatively like they'd ever have even a slivers chance with this gorgeous human being. The ladies in the comments know what's up though,' one added.
One simply said 'so hot' while another said the video made them question their own sexuality.
Lola Young responds
The hate comments ultimately forced Young – who let's not forget is just 24 – to make a statement after thinking about 'what it means to be a woman with a body' and the relationship she has with her own body because of it.
'Am I always a body confident woman? No, not always. Am I woman with a body that is confident? Yes,' she said.
'I'm accepting of my body and I refuse to let anyone or anything — including Westernised beauty standards, societal beliefs and deeply ingrained patriarchal views — make me feel uncomfortable about showing my body.'
Emma Gillman, the founder of The Siren Group — a PR company that represents sex workers — told news.com.au the backlash to Young is a 'perfect example' of how society 'tightly controls who's 'allowed' to be sexual'.
'As a publicist to some of the world's top adult content creators, I see how frequently women are blamed for owning their sexuality online, and how quickly that blame intensifies when they don't fit the narrow mould of what society deems 'acceptably sexy',' she said.
Ms Gillman added that the backlash towards the British singer proves that it's not the act of being sexual but the person who is being sexual.
'When someone challenges beauty norms, through body size, age, race or gender expression, their sexuality is treated as something to ridicule rather than something to respect,' she said.
'The constant policing of women's sexuality is exhausting and designed to keep women small, silent, and ashamed.
'I think what Lola's doing is really powerful. She's making music about her experience and putting herself out there in a way that challenges people's assumptions, and that's something I wholeheartedly get behind. Whether people like it or not, that's how cultural change happens, and I welcome any conversation brought about by brave people who refuse to shrink themselves to make others more comfortable.'
Ms Gillman added that it was 'incredibly disappointing' that fatphobia was dominating the conversation around what is simply an incredible song and a 'powerful moment' of women owning their sexuality.
'I hope all the attention from trolls ends up working in her favour, getting the song into more people's ears and making her more money. To me, women from all backgrounds speaking openly about their sexuality is always a conversation worth having,' she said.
'Not a new phenomenon'
Professor Leah Brennan, the director of Centre for Eating, Weight and Body Image, told news.com.au that the world often doesn't realise the lack of diversity in what we are exposed to until it is challenged.
'Unfortunately this is not a new phenomenon, but it is getting worse over time. Historically there has been broader range of bodies that were considered attractive, but media and advertising has narrowed that view, and increased our exposure to a single body ideal,' Professor Brennan said.
'Our exposure to this ideal increased last century with television, print and other traditional media, and it has increased dramatically this century with exposure to social media.
'Social media has also meant that we are exposed to other's perspectives in comments, further increasing exposure to unhelpful messaging. The anonymity of social media allows people to make more extreme comments without accountability.'
She said there have been attempts to address it — such as body positivity and health at every size — that have called out unhelpful messaging.
'They have promoted alternative views recognising positive aspects of all bodies and have encouraged appreciation of all body shapes and sizes,' she said.
'These approaches have certainly made an impact. Unfortunately, the recent publicity regarding weight loss medications has reignited discussions about thinness, weight loss, and thin body ideals.'
She said that the idea of an 'ideal body' is incredibly damaging, with the majority of women unhappy with their own body.
'In contrast, body appreciation is associated with better quality of life, healthier behaviours and better physical and mental health,' she said.
'We need to educate ourselves so we are aware of this kind of stereotype, to call it out, to challenge it, and to support others when they challenge it.'
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