I feel strongly about Bomber in Rangers vs SFA fallout and I can explain it all to Cavenagh in jig time
I have paid for the weddings of two daughters off the back of spontaneous, emotional comment.
Forty years worth of payment for listening to, and attempting a reply to, exasperated radio callers who want to get something off their chest in a bronchitic blast.
It would therefore be hypocritical in the extreme if I were to approve of someone being punished for indulging in that particular practice.
Someone like John Brown, for example. Prior to Rangers' lengthy and indignant response to being fined £3000 by the SFA on Thursday, I had found it hard to work up any level of concern, far less righteous indignation, over the Bomber versus the compliance officer.
The truth is I loved the story because it appealed to every cynical, sarcastic bone in my sceptical body.
Bomber said the decision to disallow a goal for Rangers against Hibs at Easter Road on May 17 was 'corrupt.'
In their initial defence of their in-house television channel's co-commentator, Rangers said in a statement that the words used came under the heading of 'spontaneous emotional' comment.
My funny bone was tickled at that point because Scottish football has more conspiracy theorists per capita than any other country in the world. I know. I've spoken to most of them over the last four decades.
And if you don't believe there's a conspiracy against their team then it stands to reason you must be part of the conspiracy yourself.
Whatever reason is in the context of our game. Every fan in the country thinks the game is bent – particularly those who support Celtic and Rangers. That's why, on radio, there is what's known as a seven-second delay button.
This mechanism 'loses' a caller in the event of the spontaneous and the emotional turning into the effing and blinding, which causes offence.
Or requires the reading out of a disclaimer to legally distance the radio station from any comment that might ultimately be the cause of litigation. Rangers' post-fine statement on Thursday, that the outburst regarding alleged corruption wasn't an official club comment, is debatable.
If I say Scottish football is corrupt on radio then I'm sure any punishment suffered would be delivered to my employers.
But this is where the whole business is out of proportion to my way of thinking. People in the Bomber's position – or mine for that matter – are not, according to the SFA, supposed to imply bias or incompetence on the part of match officials.
But the SFA's own Key Match Incident panel found that the decision to disallow Rangers' goal in Edinburgh was incorrect.
And they have previously stood down VAR Alan Muir for mistakes made during games.
Does that mean there is incompetence on the part of match officials, but you're not supposed to say so? It is at this point we are all disappearing up our own jurisprudence.
Brown is a former Rangers player and lifelong follower of the club who got carried away in the heat of the moment. Big deal. We could all have got over it without psychological scarring.
At the same time, the compliance officer must surely have more to do with his time than get involved in trivia of this description.
Now we're into the realms of Rangers saying there is 'selective enforcement' of the rules and 'regulatory oversights', which damage the SFA's credibility.
Whataboutery by any other name.
Andrew Cavenagh might question, on behalf of 49ers Enterprises, what the cheque for £3000 is all about. But I wouldn't take too long to explain it all regarding 'he said that and they said this'.
He's likely to tell whoever is informing him on the background that he's got far more important things to do with his time.
Meanwhile, Rangers and the SFA could use their time more profitably if they assisted the Scottish government with their crackdown on crowd violence and the use of pyrotechnics.
What Bomber said was never going to endanger anyone's life.
Unlike the pyro plonkers.
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