‘People want peace, not poolside tantrums': The rise of child-free holidays
A summer's morning, just after 9am, and something astonishing is happening: I am still in bed. In the six years since I have had children, this is entirely unheard of.
There are no elephantine footsteps charging towards my bedroom; no clammy, jammy hands clawing at my covers; no piercing shrieks of 'Muuuuuum!' over cornflakes and toast. The silence – aside from birds chirruping through my open window – is deliciously deafening.
I am, of course, not at home (where my harried husband is wrangling our two children through the morning rigmarole entirely solo) – but have spent the night at an adults-only hotel, one of a growing number of properties, both in the UK and abroad, that specifically ban under-16s.
Statistics suggest there are now more than 1,000 such hotels, B&Bs and holiday resorts worldwide, driven by demand from child-free and solo travellers – not to mention parents who, like me, adore their offspring, but sometimes dream of getting far, far away from them.
But that dream could be under threat due to a recent challenge under French law, which suggests the 'no-kids trend' could amount to 'violence against children' under equalities legislation.
Laurence Rossignol, a socialist senator, is reportedly planning to introduce a Private Member's Bill to make it illegal to ban children from French hotels, restaurants and campsites – a move which could have dramatic repercussions for child-free venues around the world.
This doesn't trouble Frank Lawrenson, the owner of Rectory Manor in Great Waldingfield, a picturesque village in rural Suffolk, which has been grown-ups-only since 2022. Indeed, Frank says he would have cut children from the guest list earlier, if only he hadn't had several of his own.
'Children can be so hard to manage, especially in a property like this,' says Frank, 58, who inherited the sprawling Georgian rectory – on a site that dates back 2,000 years – and turned it into a hotel, now a five-star country retreat with a swimming pool, tennis court and croquet lawn, in 2014.
'We wanted it to feel like a haven, and if you have children running around screaming, that's certainly not peaceful,' he adds. 'The policy is one of the main reasons guests choose to stay here.'
He and his fiancée, Georgina, 48, have six children between them, now aged 18 to 23, and they first banned under-13s when their youngest turned 13. The lower age limit increased incrementally each year. Although both loved hosting families with younger guests, they decided it 'didn't suit the house' – certainly, there are sharp edges, uneven stairs and breakable ornaments everywhere.
'You might get a perfectly sweet two-year-old banging her spoon on the breakfast table and ruining the tranquillity for everyone else,' says Georgina. 'People come to escape. Even the best-behaved children can get on your nerves – especially when they're not your own.'
The hotel seems to lavish in a sort of hedonism that simply wouldn't be possible with children around. Cut-glass decanters of whisky and gin adorn every room. Flames crackle perilously from open fireplaces. The artwork is eclectic and, in some quarters, verging on risqué. My room contains a roll-top bath, perched – somewhat incongruously – on a thick pile carpet.
Quite delightfully, the property's motto, emblazoned on my key fob, is an Italian phrase – ' Non si vive solo per soffrire ' – which translates as 'One doesn't live only to suffer.' As a long-suffering, sleep-deprived, permanently frazzled parent, I could certainly get on board with that.
Travel experts say adults-only hotels are part of a growing trend – dating back as far as the 1970s, when they first appeared in the Caribbean, and spreading to Spain and France in the early 2000s. But it's only in the past five years that they've really started booming in Britain, with mainstream holiday companies – such as Warner and Scott Dunn – now offering adults-only options.
Online, you'll find copious Mumsnet threads devoted to child-free holidays, as well as luxury travel round-ups of five-star resorts that proudly ban children. According to Google Trends, searches for 'adults-only holidays' have soared in popularity since 2020.
'I've seen this trend gain real momentum,' says Liz Taylor, a hospitality and luxury brand consultant with 30 years' experience. 'Holidays have become more than a luxury – they're a lifeline. People want peace. They want to switch off. And, let's be honest, that's hard to do when you're dodging poolside tantrums or trying to enjoy a cocktail during a toddler's tea party.'
Emma Latham, a Cheshire-based luxury travel planner, agrees. 'Not long ago, the only 'adults-only' offering in a resort might have been the later dinner setting,' she says. 'Today, we're seeing entire properties or dedicated areas within larger resorts designated specially for adult guests.'
This, she explains, appeals to all sorts of holidaymakers – whether parents escaping their offspring for short getaways, couples without children who prefer to avoid family-focused environments, or empty nesters who want to enjoy their peace and quiet.
Margaret and Jonathan Evans, from Pontypridd, are among the last. 'Since our youngest daughter left home last year, we wouldn't dream of staying anywhere that accepts children,' says Margaret, 67. 'It was hard enough going on holiday when our three were younger – always worrying about mealtimes, and whether they'd break anything or fall over. We couldn't switch off.'
Geoff and Linda Banks, from Fleet, Hampshire, agree. 'I'd be so cross if the holiday I'd looked forward to for months was ruined by noisy children haring around the place,' says Geoff, 54. 'I just wish they did adults-only flights as well.'
Staff members, too, say they prefer working at child-free properties – not only is there less mess to contend with, but they're not expected to act as makeshift babysitters.
At Rectory Manor, the closest I come to youth in my 24-hour sojourn is 18-year-old waiter Cyrus, who serves a top-notch cooked breakfast, and tells me: 'When we allowed kids, the swimming pool was an issue – people were nipping to the mini-bar and expecting staff members to watch their children splashing about while they were gone. If anything had happened, we'd have been responsible.'
Of course, the adults-only privilege comes at a premium: my weekday night away, plus breakfast, comes to £219. 'If you consider how much you would pay for a family of four to stay at a hotel for a week, would you pay the same amount for just two of you if it were an adult-only hotel? The answer seems to be yes,' says Aled Evans, a travel specialist at Our Local Tour.
'I most certainly would be willing to pay for it,' adds Raj Gill, a travel expert and the editor-at-large of Upscale Living magazine. 'I feel most people would be happy to pay extra to have a restful and relaxing holiday.'
Consequently, holiday venues are reaping the rewards – both financial and reputational – of going adults-only. 'If a hotel or tour operator can differentiate itself and appeal to a certain demographic, then it has a market advantage,' Evans explains.
There are, however, risks – not least alienating long-term guests who go on to have families and find themselves unwelcome. Frank Lawrenson admits that when he banned under-16s in 2022, there were some regulars – who had previously stayed with their children – who weren't happy about the change. 'It was sad, but ultimately for the best,' he says.
But as the tide turns against children in Britain, do properties need to consider the legal ramifications of banning younger guests?
In France, certainly, the 'no kids' policy seems to fly close to the wind, and the issue has reared its head in California, where a swath of stunning ocean-front properties – catering only to adults – have recently opened, prompting critics to question whether they contravene Section 51 of the state's Civil Code, which prevents discrimination.
In the UK, under the Equality Act 2010, it is illegal to discriminate against someone because of their age when providing goods and services – but there are exceptions. If a service is genuinely 'adults only' – such as a spa treatment, sports competition or nightclub – this is justifiable, as it relates to the nature of the service. This, it seems, would equally apply to holiday properties that cater solely to grown-ups.
'I doubt there are any legal issues,' says Taylor. 'We're talking about creating environments tailored to specific needs and preferences. It's about choice; not exclusion.'
Gill agrees – but says the onus rests on hotels, B&Bs and resorts to inform prospective guests of their policy. 'As long as the rules are clearly laid out from the off, and the age limits and boundaries are established, then I do not see any future issues,' she adds.
Nor, it must be said, do I. Still reclining in my four-poster bed, contemplating whether to go for a morning swim or a leisurely breakfast, I find myself searching online for another child-free break – perhaps swapping sunny Suffolk for Bali or the Bahamas – with my husband in tow, this time. Non si vive solo per soffrire, after all…
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