‘Now, if mama has to go to work, she deals with it': Kalki Koechlin shares tips to balance time between mother and baby
Actor Kalki Koechlin gave birth to her daughter Sappho during the COVID-19 pandemic, and they spent the first seven months holed up at home due to the lockdown. 'There was no pressure to go back to my tiny body because people didn't see me, and we all know actors are always expected to look a certain way. While it initially felt like the stomach would never go, I did eventually get my body back after a year,' the Margarita with a Straw actor told Hindustan Times digital in a recent interview.
Her postpartum phase was not without obstacles, and she found it extremely difficult to have some kind of a routine because she was 'too busy breastfeeding, cooking and cleaning.' 'My priority was just sleeping,' added the actor.
During the candid conversation, Koechlin shared some tips on how to balance parenting while finding time for oneself.
Get creative
'She didn't understand that boundary when I worked from home, eventually. It was challenging when she couldn't access me for a few hours. My partner (Guy Hershberg) has sometimes taken colouring pencils and paper along with her to parking spaces under our building, so she's excited and distracted. It took some creative thinking as parents. Now, if Mama has to go to work, she deals with it,' Koechlin told the publication.
Staying away from phones
'We're all attached to our phones, but my rule now is to keep mine in a separate room when I sleep. I have a proper alarm clock that wakes me up, though my daughter does it before that (laughs). This ensures that I'm present while finishing my daily routine, I don't even check my phone before that,' she explained.
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According to her, parental anxiety is real, along with general anxiety. 'I have accessed a lot of therapy in the last couple of years, which has helped a lot. I have also understood that I cannot solve everything,' she added.
Rima Bhandekar, Psychologist at Mpower Helpline, Aditya Birla Trust, said that Kalki 's style of parenting focuses on providing children ample independence and distance to develop and at same time support when required. It is very different from helicopter parenting where parents are around all the time. Such kind of parenting lets children know that their assistance is available when wanted by the children. This style of parenting is about balancing independence with care.
According to Bhandekar, this helps children start handling challenges themselves without expecting parents to scoop in for them. Their confidence develops gradually through trial-and-error learning, and they know they can succeed after initial failure. 'Children develop understanding of various situations and how they feel in those, and how to face others with confidence,' she added.
Staying away from phones ensures quality time being spent between the mother and baby without any distractions. This makes the child feel like they are a priority in their caregiver's life. Working parents will need support and keep open pathways of communication with their children when parents are away at work, and involve children in the process of decision making about small but important things when they are at home.
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