If Your Home Needs A Deep Clean, These 30 Products Have You Covered

We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.
You might despise cleaning the bathroom, but this overnight shower cleaner basically does the work for you.
1. An EasyWring microfiber spin mop since your floors do, in fact, need to be mopped even though you'd like to think otherwise. The handle extends up to four feet, and the built-in mop wringer allows for hands-free wringing making mopping just a little bit less of a headache.
O-Cedar/YouTube / Via www.youtube.com
Promising review: " After seeing a TikTok where a woman demonstrated this mop to clean her walls, and hearing my boss raving about it, I decided to click the Amazon button. Let me tell you, I HATE cleaning, I HATE mopping, but I LOVE for things to be clean. I was able to mop the entire house TWICE (Because it was that dirty. Please don't judge.) within an hour. A few days later I mopped the entire house again within 10 minutes because they weren't quite as dirty. On another positive note, my boys love the spinner and think it's a toy! So, every time I get the bucket out my 10-year-old and 4-year-old ask to mop the house because they think it's fun. MAJOR BONUS!" — Molly
Get it from Amazon for $34.96.
2. A foaming garbage disposal cleaner capable of turning your food graveyard into a lemon-scented haven. I think we all can collectively agree that shoving our hand down the disposal to deep clean is not in our job description. Just place the packet in the disposal, let it soak, and turn on your disposal! Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
Amazon
Promising review:"Saw on TikTok (don't judge) and automatically added to cart. So easy to use, takes probably a minute to fully bubble up and clean, and you're left with a clean sink! I use with other drain cleaning products, but would 100% recommend for weekly maintenance." — Jessica Hamilton
Get a four-pack from Amazon for $8.
3. Affresh dishwasher tablets for anyone who doesn't want to get on their hands and knees and stick their head in the dishwasher to clean it. These little tablets do the work for you. All you do is run it on a normal wash cycle and now you have a nice, fresh dishwasher.
Promising review:"After using this product, I am happy to report that my $5 investment saved me over $500. I was ready to replace my dishwasher due to super cloudy glasses, residue, and dishes just not getting clean. Then, I became aware that the water softener was no longer doing its job so I had the rental company replace it. Dishwasher performance improved somewhat. I decided to do two more loads before deciding to purchase a new one. I tossed one of the tablets into the bottom of the full machine per the instructions and ran the regular cycle. I did not expect the results I got! The glassware that I thought was permanently etched and ruined came out like new. Same with cutlery. The difference is unbelievable." — Sheila
Get a pack of six from Amazon for $8.99.
4. A jetted tub cleaner so you can enjoy that big ol' tub of yours without the creeping thought of, "Has anyone ever cleaned these jets?" The results might make you gag a little, but it's way better than having to get down and dirty in each jet because you just pour this in with a full tub, run the jets, and scrub away all the yuk!
Plus, this is septic safe!!
Promising review:"OK, so I am somewhat of a clean freak and I run bleach through the jets prob twice a month on top of my weekly cleaning. And I was skeptical how this product could get it any cleaner than I thought it was. Well I am here to tell you this pic is after the second cleaning with this cleaner!!!! I am a believer and would highly recommend this product to anyone with jetted tub!!" — Momof2greatboys
Get it from Amazon for $18.73.
5. A robot vacuum because sometimes sweeping Roscoe's shedding fur, getting the under-the-bed dust, and picking up all that dirt that your kids trek in from the backyard just... sucks. Thankfully, this powerful vacuum literally ~sucks~ that all up and saves you from having to manually do it yourself.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
This is super slim so it can easily fit under your low furniture and it automatically returns to its charging station when it's running low on battery.
Promising review:"I should have bought one of these years ago! It's saving me time and effort to clean other stuff around the house. I've been pleasantly surprised how 'Pete' can make it over thresholds that separate our kitchen from the living area and one in the hallway. LOVE how he goes around our kitchen chairs and table and really gets under there to pick up crumbs! My floors look cleaner than they ever have! Go Eufy!" — Natalie M
Get it from Amazon for $229.99+ (available in three styles).
6. A bottle of Wet & Forget cleaner destined to turn your shower and tub from grimy and dirty to spiffy and shiny. All you gotta do is spray, let it sit overnight, and rinse! Finally, now you can enjoy your own scrub-a-dub-dub time *without* having to scrub-a-dub-dub the hard-to-reach crevices on your hands and knees.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "I used this product as directed and got the promised results! I literally did not have to get down and scrub my tub at all. Scent was very subtle (purchased 'vanilla' option). I'm completely stunned with the fabulous results! Highly recommend!" — kMcav
Get it from Amazon for $18.47+ (available in two scents and two sizes).
7. A flexible drain snake for when it's finally time to tackle that clogged shower drain. This has small micro hooks that grab onto hair easily, and even though the results will make you want to gag, this so comes in handy for those rare deep cleaning sessions.
This pack contains a reusable handle and five single-use heads you can just remove and dispose of after handling your clogged pipes.
Promising review:"Wow. Best thing ever. Seriously. I have had tweezers and sticks and plumbers and chemicals trying to get my master sink to drain. The plumber even said I needed an entirely new faucet to get the drain plug part because they don't sell those separately. Well, I have two sinks, a tub, and a shower that all match, so that was not a valid solution. Doubt I can find the same model. So I bought this thing, stuffed it down, and pulled up hair and black muck. Did it about eight times quickly, ran the water, went right down the drain. Seriously. This is the best tool ever and the best $20 I have ever spent. Everyone with a sink needs this tool. Seriously." — juliejules
Get a five-pack from Amazon for $19.99.
8. The Baseboard Buddy because getting down on your hands and knees like Cinderella is not in your job title (even though cleaning baseboards is something you should do every now and then). The extendable arm gets in places high and low and is way better than pricey disposable dusters because the pads are reusable!
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
The kit comes with one Baseboard Buddy and three reusable pads which can be used wet or dry. And when the microfiber pad is dirty, just rinse and reuse!
Promising review: " Buy it NOW. Honestly, I had huge reservations for this thing. Yet another miracle cleaning tool that will break or bend or something. I was so wrong. It was easy to put together and I sprayed it with Mean Green and went to the baseboards. No more kneeling and no broken back. This thing is amazing. It is durable and the pad is super absorbent. I am so happy. I can't wait to do the rest of the house!" — artgirl
Get it from Amazon for $24.99.
9. The Bissell Little Green, which works ✨wonders✨ on your couches, carpets, and other upholstery items since it literally sucks up dirt, stubborn stains, and any other nasty spills that have worked their way into your life. Forget calling the pros — this little green powerhouse is way more affordable and just as effective.
Amazon, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"Faced with either replacing our dining room chairs or living with the daily reminder of how disgusting children (x3) can be, we decided to replace our chairs. Until we priced some new ones. Enter the Green Machine. This chair has never been cleaned (I know, we're gross). I sprayed the included magical solution, let sit 15 minutes for good measure, and voila. Sorcery. I read zero instructions, just plugged in, and went to town. I would recommend cleaning outside if your item is portable; it minimized the spray on the floor. The dark grey liquid on the collecting side was evidence enough of the dirt and stain-removing powers. Don't second guess; this was <$100 when I purchased it, and while something with steam and heaters and all the gadgets, I am sure, is wonderful, bang for your buck on this one is a no-brainer. Definitely bought us another year or so before we pull the trigger on something new for the kids to ruin." — aih
Get it from Amazon for $98.59.
10. A rust stain remover spray since hard water with high iron levels is slowly turning your white tub into a yellowish-brown eyesore. This gel formula is designed to cling to stains and remove them without any scrubbing.
Note that it's designed for rust stains that come from having hard water; it won't do anything for, like, a rusty metal towel holder.
Promising review:"Can't believe we finally found something that works! When we bought our home there was no water softener and years of iron build up. We tried so many things on our shower. Nothing worked. We were convinced we'd be stuck until we renovated, but the Iron Out worked wonders. I still can't believe it. We let it sit for about an hour. It then dissolved and wiped right off. Definitely use in a ventilated area if possible." — M. Gilardi
Get it from Amazon for $11.36.
11. A nontoxic fireplace cleaner meant to tackle soot, ash, and all fire-related grime that's been building up on your stone and brick. This gel helps make it look brand-spankin' new, and it even comes with a brush for scrubbing!
www.amazon.com
Quick'n Brite is a small business that's been selling eco-friendly cleaning supplies since 1952.
Promising review: " This product works excellently on a river stone fireplace (seen above) with a decade of smoke and dirt. It took two applications but you just apply, wait, then wipe the surface. I'm extremely happy I picked this product. Plus, it's non-toxic and doesn't give off a strong odor." — Daniel G
Get it from Amazon for $17.99+ (available in two sizes and with or without cleaning tools).
12. Bioclean, a hard water stain remover, to bring your glass doors, faucets, and shower heads back to their "what once was" state of clean. Now, with no more hard water stains or gross tile, you can go back to 🎶 singing in the shower 🎶 without a big ol' yikes in between the chorus and the verse.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "Wow. Don't waste your time with any other formulation that you found online. I've literally tried EVERYTHING! The soap / vinegar / baking soda, the expensive store bought 'hard water cleaners.' I've scrubbed for HOURS! But this…. This product is like magic. It's kind of like a paste that you can rub on with a microfiber towel and the hard water stains literally just RUB OFF. Like butter! Seriously the easiest option I have tried yet. I stopped within the first five minutes of cleaning to do this review because I'm in shock lol. Coming from someone who never writes reviews! Take that as a sign to buy this immediately. What a game changer, I'm mad I'm just now finding this stuff lol!" — _kayla_carter
Get it from Amazon for $17.77.
13. A Cerama-Bryte cooktop cleaning kit so when you look at your glass stove top, you can smile at your reflection instead of roll your eyes at the leftover grease, dried-up pasta water, and other messes that come with cooking at home. It comes with a cleaning solution, cleaning pads, and a scraper tool!
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"Love, Love, LOVE this stuff! Who else hates cleaning their stove like me?? It feels like every time I clean the stove, it just gets dirty again. Well I found THE BEST clean for your stove top. I applied this once after having oil and food caked onto my stove, and within seconds of using the cloth to clean it off, it was TOTALLY clean. Seriously, this stuff is incredible. It also comes with a little scraper which is perfect for getting those little nuggets of food off your stove. Buy this stuff..you won't regret it!" — Meredith B
Get the kit from Amazon for $13.98.
14. A fume-free oven cleaner meant to tackle the most hard-to-remove buildup from last week's dinner that you just wish cleaned itself up. No more wasting money on weaker cleaning products; this stuff is literally called Easy-Off because it easily gets all the gunk off with a simple spray and swipe. New oven, who dis?
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I HATE cleaning my oven and this is evident by the fact that I won't do it until it fills up with smoke when baking. I bought new appliances and I was meticulous about keeping the stove/oven clean by not using them. Well, when you're a mom, that kind of doesn't work, so I made sure to not have anything splash on the stove or in the oven when cooking and to immediately clean anything that got by me. That also only lasts so long when I work long hours, so I used to tell myself, "You'll clean it tomorrow". As you all know, that's code for someday. Weeks went by, and my stove needed cleaning, and I found the handy self-cleaning button. Let me tell you, that worked....the first time. I needed professional help the second time, so of course, I put that off until I couldn't. Got on Amazon and as I always do, I read the product description and instructions and then went straight to reviews on multiple self-proclaimed "best oven cleaners". This one was the one I decided to put my hard-earned money on, and it paid off! I sprayed everything the night before, and I was ready with my gloves and mask, but I didn't need them. There was no splash back when spraying and no overwhelming smell. Got up the next day, opened the oven, and 30 minutes later, it was brand new. I was so happy, and this is my go-to. I use it about once a month and do the self-clean in between. I've used it on the racks of my little toaster oven as well and the grime comes right off. I've included a before and after cause, I know pictures are worth a thousand words." — Sandra Stephens
15. A three-part microfiber wand, which gets rid of the dust on the top AND bottom of not one... but TWO blinds at once. This comes with five microfiber cleaning towels and saves you from using up a whole roll of paper towels just for cleaning the blinds.
Amazon
Promising review:"I absolutely hate cleaning my blinds, and it was pretty obvious that I hardly ever clean them by how much dirt came off the first time I used this tool. I've only used it dry so far, but boy it sure does get the dust off of the blinds. It does still take a while to do it, even though you're doing multiple slats at a time, but it sure is a lot easier. I love that you can just throw them in the washing machine when you're done. Thumbs up!" — Dopey1200
Get a pack of one wand and five sleeves from Amazon for $6.99.
16. An automatic bleach toilet cleaning system because even thinking about cleaning the toilet makes me want to gag! This little contraption will send cleaning solution into your bowl each time you flush, making it waayyy less gross when it comes time to actually deep clean the porcelain throne.
www.amazon.com
It's super quick to install, and one cartridge can last up to three months!
Promising review:"I am a lazy cleaner, but hate filth. This is a life saver for me, because it helps keep the toilet bowl clean." — Thirsty reader
Get it from Amazon for $10.59.
17. A Clorox toilet cleaning kit that'll be the #1 product when it comes to cleaning where you go #1 and #2. Not only does this come with a wand and storage caddy, it comes with extra refills of the disposable sponges that are infused with the cleaning liquid. Plus, the release button on the wand allows you to easily throw away the sponges without actually touching the sponge!
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"Throw away your nasty toilet brush because THIS THING IS AWESOME! Tons of cleaner on the little pads; I could have cleaned eight toilets with one pad. Love that you can click and toss the used pad. Genius!" — Hannah G.
Get it from Amazon for $14.99.
18. And a reusable pumice stone so you can easily scratch away at those yucky stains without leaving behind scratch marks in the bowl. Those regular plastic bristles are no match for this strong yet gentle cleaner that makes your porcelain throne look brand stinkin' new (minus the literal stink).
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"When we bought our previously owned condo, all three of the toilets had a permanent dark ring. I must have tried at least six different cleaning products that claimed to eliminate rings. None worked. I was actually considering buying new toilets as the ring was embarrassing to me. A friend recommended the pumice toilet bowl ring remover, and I was prepared to be disappointed again. But it worked perfectly. The ring is gone on all three toilets, and it only took a few minutes per toilet. I don't know when I have ever been so totally satisfied with a product. It just saved me a whole lot of money, and I am no longer embarrassed by the appearance of my toilets." — lynn mcdonald
Get it from Amazon for $11.19.
19. A dryer vent cleaning kit you can attach to your vacuum to suck out all that excess lint that doesn't get collected by the lint trap (spoiler: it's a lot more than you think).
amazon.com, www.amazon.com
The entire set comes with a plastic hose, an adapter, and a vacuum hose for use with most any vacuum. Plus, a flexible lint brush!
Promising review:"I love this dryer lint extension for the vacuum. I wanted to try a cheaper option first before I spent way more money having someone clean the lint trap deep down. So much lint came out of my dryer, it was wild. I'm very good at cleaning it after using the dryer, but inevitably there's always more that we can't see or reach because it's too deep. It's a great way to keep it clear of lint to increase the efficiency of the dryer, which will save money from electricity and extend the life of the dryer, and prevent possible fires." — Cat L.
Get it from Amazon for $9.95+ (available in four colors).
20. A slim cleaning brush to get in those hard-to-reach places like the window and door tracks. The handle even doubles as a scraper if there's dirt that's really stuck in there. Your plain sponge could never.
Amazon, www.amazon.com
Promising review: "This is an amazing set of brushes. Don't be fooled by the low cost. The brushes are soft and long enough to get into tight spots but firm enough to hold up. They work amazing in those hard-to-clean aluminum window runners and sliding doors. I've used them to clean enclosed fan blades, refrigerator vents, etc. They wash easily and with a bit of TLC they hold their shape. Always nice to find something so simple and inexpensive that works so well." — CNJ
Get a pack of two from Amazon for $4.99.
21. A jar of *THE* Pink Stuff — it'll work wonders to remove dirt, oil, grime, rust, and stains from pretty much any surface. You'll be surprised that the ingredient list doesn't just say "magic" since it brings your things (stoves, pans, sinks, etc.) back to life with little to no elbow grease required.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "I am speechless. I had burned on crud on the glass door inside of my oven. I literally took the product and put it on with a sponge, let it sit for 30 seconds, wiped it off with a hot watered paper towel, and it wiped clean! I regret not taking before and after pictures. I have tried everything under the sun and regret not trying this sooner. I was skeptical because I saw it on TikTok. BUY IT!!!!!! Can't wait to try it on the shower! [Best] stuff I've ever used!" — Courtney
Promising review: " This is one of those 'changed my life' products that you come across every once in a while. I have tried so many different things to clean my clear glass shower door and just end up wasting time, money, and effort. The reviews and price of this product sold me on it. I love the smell (very subtle) and I used it with a basic sponge on my shower door. It did take a little effort but not bad and yielded amazing results. I then got excited about the other possibilities and have used it on the inside of my oven door with similar results. It's great. You won't be disappointed." — Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $5.97.
22. A set of cleaning brush attachments you can attach to a drill for some serious scrubbin'. If you've ever broken a cleaning brush scrubbing with too much elbow grease, this is the thing for you. Your back will thank you, your bathroom surfaces will sparkle, and you will be so thankful cleaning took half the time it usually does.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I've been eyeing these for a few months and finally caved... Man do I regret not picking them up as soon as I saw them! They work GREAT! We rent an apartment that has a 30+-year-old shower/tub. I've used everything from abrasive powders, gels that sit, to most recently the bathroom Magic Erasers and nothing really got the grime out. These WORK and they work fast. Ten minutes with my handy drill and the shower has never been cleaner. I love that I don't have to throw money out on cleaning products anymore and that I can be a little more environmentally friendly with no waste and no chemical cleaners! Just a little dish soap, baking soda, and a spin of the brush. If you're on the fence, just buy them!" — Becky Adie
Get a set of three from Amazon for $18.95 (available in six color and stiffness levels).
23. A professional-strength grout cleaner because the white grout you chose to go with your white tile is now somehow very, very dark. 😣 Revive your grout with this solution, which comes with a flip-top cap for accurate application and no wasted product!
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"We moved into our house a year ago and I've been on a quest to clean the grout next to the stove ever since then. I've tried everything — store products, DIY solutions, Pinterest recommendations, you name it. As a last resort, I got this and holy cow! I left it on for three minutes as a spot test at first, and I could already see a huge difference. I then did two more rounds letting it sit for five minutes each. The scent's not bad, it was fine if I had the window open, it was just being down close to it that got me. Seriously, stop looking and buy this." — Britney Phillips
Get it from Amazon for $21.95.
24. A stainless steel cleaner and polish to remove fingerprints, watermarks, and any other residues that get on your stove, oven, or other stainless steel appliances. And this comes with a microfiber towel for buffing!
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review: "I have tried lots of products for cleaning stainless steel appliances and this one is the best. Doesn't streak and makes my appliances look like new. Easy to use, just one or two swipes with the microfiber cloth needed. Leave the product in the cloth and use for touchups." — Debbie Escobar
Get it from Amazon for $17.98 (available in a multipack).
25. A pack of duster sponges that might just be dust's worst enemy. All you gotta do is dampen it, wipe, and rinse! The ridged surface grabs all that grossness and it's reusable, which is way more eco-friendly than using wasteful paper towels.
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "This product is amazing! It makes cleaning so much easier and takes way less time! I used to hate cleaning my baseboards, but this product has made cleaning it so easy that I actually don't mind doing it anymore! It is also great for blinds as well! Definitely worth it!" — Julia
Promising review: "I rarely review products, but this little sponge literally changed my life! It picks up EVERYthing in one swipe! Hard water marks on your bathroom mirror, no problem! Hair clippings on your sink and counter, one swipe and they are gone! Dusty blinds? Swoosh, swoosh, swipe! And ala-presto ka-bam, like magic, they are perfect and dust-free! I just need one of these for my floors! I love, love, love how the sponge picks up everything, and with a little running water, all the dust, hair, muck, and guck just rinsed away! This will not disappoint! Thank you!" — DayDreamer
Get a set of four from Amazon for $8.49 (available in six color packs).
26. A length-adjustable pet hair broom to sweep up all that dog hair, human hair, and random dust that camouflages itself on your patterned rugs. But really, this works for any type of floor and will leave you stunned at how you and your pets aren't bald by now.
Emma Lord / BuzzFeed, www.amazon.com
Want more info? Check out my coworker's FURemover Evrilholder broom review. You'll learn a thing or two AND enjoy some very satisfying hair-removal photos!
Promising review:" I saw this on TikTok and thought it was worth a shot. I have two dogs and a cat, and being one with a dust and dander allergy I have to vacuum often but the vacuum can't always get in deep enough. This actually works and I was shocked at how well it does. I brush the carpet a few times and vacuum it up and the carpet even looks better!! I highly recommend this to everyone — especially pet owners." — Theo Ackerman
Get it from Amazon for $15.99.
27. A touchless stationary vacuum because no matter how many times you try, the dustpan is never gonna get 100% of the dirt you collected. This lil' guy is super convenient and relieves you of having to go back and forth to the trashcan after sweeping.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
An indicator light will turn on to let you know that the canister is full, and then you can remove the canister and dump the debris in the trash.
Promising review:" I absolutely love this magic floor sucker. I live in the Rocky Mountains with four large dogs and two cats. It makes sweeping not so bad and much more manageable. You just sweep it to the vac and it sucks it up. LOVE IT." — MaryKat
Get it from Amazon for $149 (available in three colors).
28. A multipurpose, portable steamer so your floors, furniture, windows, ovens, and basically anything you can think of can be brought back to life. This comes with 17 different attachments making it great for small crevices and larger surface areas. Win-win if you ask me!
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review: "I rarely write product reviews because I'm usually underwhelmed. But this steam cleaner deserves accolades! First, the description and advertising is spot on. It delivers what it promises. Secondly, it is easy to use, compact for storage, and has a large tank capacity, allowing me to clean the majority of my luxury wood vinyl floors and bathroom tile. Thirdly, quick heat up, great accessories to meet all cleaning situations. Best of all, its consistently powerful steam gets the job done quickly. My floors never looked so good!" — Craig
Get it from Amazon for $149.77.
29. Grandma's Secret, which is basically like a washing machine in a bottle! Who cares about Victoria's Secret... the only secret I wanna know is what is in this little bottle that does miracles for getting out hard-to-tackle stains and messes. Just apply and let it sit for 5–10 minutes and wipe away!
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"This stuff is so amazing. I'm a witness. My 2-year-old baby wrote all over my white leather couch. I tried multiple different things and nothing work but Grandma's Secret Spot Remover. I love this stuff." — L. Nix
Get a pack of two from Amazon for $9.99.
30. An MVP-worthy pet urine stain-removing spray to revive your carpets and furniture into the stain-free beauties they once were. All you gotta do is spray, let it sit for 5–10 minutes, blot, and let it air dry! Yes, you love your fancy little pooch, but you don't love the number she does on your carpets.
www.amazon.com, Amazon
Rocco & Roxie Supply Company is a family-owned small business established in 2013 that specializes in pet odor eliminators, pet toys, pet snacks, and pet accessories.
Promising review:"I don't know how I ever survived without this. There's tons of 'pet stain/odor remover' products out there, but this by far is the absolute best. I cringed paying the $20 for it when others are between $5–$10, but I have NO ISSUES paying now. I foster dogs, some puppies, some older, some not house broken and every room in my house is carpeted except the kitchen which means I have lots of accidents. I spray enough to saturate if it's a lot of urine, let it soak for 10 minutes then wipe it up with a hand towel. Then I put a larger towel on top of it if it's in a high-traffic area until it's completely dry. It's taken out every stain and more importantly the odor is gone! I will never stop buying this product. I recommend it to everyone who has dogs!" — Shelley

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'Caring' entails a lot: 'What you sometimes see is oldest daughters developing people-pleasing tendencies or feeling responsible for other's well-being,' Gal said. 'A younger girl might learn to put her needs last for the sake of someone else.' Y.L. Wolfe is the oldest of everything: oldest daughter, oldest child out of four siblings, oldest grandchild and oldest niece. 'I always saw myself as my mother's assistant throughout my life ― even when I was very young,' she told HuffPost. 'I have memories going back to the age of 3 in which I was worrying about my younger sister's welfare when she was 1.' Parentification, where a child feels compelled to take on responsibility for their family's emotional, physical and/or mental well-being, was a huge part of Wolfe's childhood. Psychologists say emotional parentification can lead to difficulty in self-regulating, setting boundaries and building relationships. Growing up, Wolfe would watch her baby brother before school when she was 11 (he even started calling her 'second mom'), go grocery shopping for the family and handle any emergencies that cropped up. 'When I was in high school, and my mother had a health crisis, my father called me from the hospital, crying, telling me they didn't know if my mother was going to make it and that he needed me to take care of the kids until the doctors could figure out what was wrong,' Wolfe said. She did what she always did and stepped up, taking care of everything until her mother could come home. She recalls her dad insisting she didn't tell the other kids how bad it was. 'He wanted to protect them, but that same thought wasn't extended to me,' she said. 'I am sometimes haunted by that memory because no one thought about how young I still was and how much I needed protection, too.' In adulthood, she became the peacemaker of the family, the go-between when family members were in conflict. When her sisters had kids, she often felt like an executive assistant to them. 'I've been there through so much, helped with doctor's appointments, moving into new houses, helping take care of the kids when they were sick,' she said. Wolfe admits she sometimes wonders if her family would continue to ask for favors if she'd had a family of her own. 'If you're single and don't have children, the expectation is that we don't have any obligations or stressors in life and so we owe our families extra labor,' she said. Wolfe said it took her until her 40s to recognize how much of her identity was tied up in big sister-ness and how much it took out of her. Now, she's heartened to see younger generations put their feet down. 'To suddenly see women collectively stepping into an 'eldest daughter revolution,' as I call it, has brought me to my knees in gratitude,' she said. 'I felt like I was always trying to extract myself from this dynamic in a vacuum. It's about time we are talking about this!' As the oldest of four in an immigrant family, Parween Mander, a financial coach from Vancouver, Canada, also felt like a makeshift third parent growing up. 'I was always keenly aware of specific financial challenges my parents were going through ― translating bank statements and tax papers for them and talking with bank representatives,' she said. The biggest hurdle happened when she was 16 years old, and the family almost lost their home. Mander recalls sitting in on meetings with mortgage representatives and trying her best to help her parents secure a new mortgage. 'That taught me that not having money means a lack of power, safety and control,' she said. 'It defined my relationship with money.' New financial challenges crop up with aging parents: retirement planning and medical bills. As an older daughter, Mander said she still picks up the slack. She notices the same tendencies among her clients who are older siblings: They'll overextend themselves with younger siblings, too ― lending money they may not have, grabbing the bill when out for dinners and overspending on gifts. 'As the oldest, typically we don't want our siblings to witness or go through financial hardship and money scarcity like we did, so I find that a lot of those clients spend money each month to buy their siblings things,' she said. Mander has started to use the phrase 'good daughter trauma' to describe the innate desire to use money as a tool to people please and ensure others around you are taken care of financially. After a while, your family comes to expect that. When older siblings act differently, saying no or prioritizing their own needs, it shocks the family system. 'If we spend money on ourselves or prioritize ourselves first, we are labeled selfish or 'cheap,'' she said. Vidhusha Thirugnanam is another exhausted big sister from a first-generation immigrant family. Growing up in Toronto, Canada, she helped her parents understand documents and Canadian life while setting an example for her two younger sisters. The burden of being perfect was heavy. 'I sought validation from my parents and did whatever it took to maintain peace in the household,' Thirugnanam told HuffPost. 'That was always too much pressure for a child.' As she got older, she realized it wasn't her responsibility to fix her family. There are jokes online about how cataclysmic it would be if the oldest daughters went on strike, and to some extent, that's exactly what Thirugnanam did. Her family is faring fine, and her life has been a lot calmer since. 'I decided to take a step back in family duties and focus more on myself. I established boundaries and no longer seek validation,' she said. 'I found peace of mind doing this. I recommend it to all oldest daughters who feel they are being emotionally and physically drained by their family's expectations of them.' Learning to establish healthy boundaries and recognizing when your mental health is at stake are huge milestones, said Thirugnanam, who's made a number of TikToks about the oldest daughter experience. Today, she leans into the saying, 'You cannot pour into the cups of others if you yourself are empty. Learn to fill your own cup first.' 'A lot of oldest daughters will run themselves dry, putting their family's needs ahead of their own,' she said. 'I am here to normalize oldest daughters taking a step back for the sake of their own well-being.' Want to take on less as the oldest? Below are some tips on taking a step back while still being an integral, important part of your family. The goal is to feel responsible but not take responsibility all the time, Schuitemaker said. Practice letting others take the lead, even if it would be easier to address yourself rather than wait for them to do it. At 69, Schuitemaker said she still has to remind herself that her siblings and younger family members can care for themselves. 'Let others organize the family outing, or don't automatically take all the care of your elderly parents on your shoulders,' she said. 'It's not easy, but you will also be pleasantly surprised by what others are able to handle.' Setting boundaries is a great place to start, but it's not just boundaries with others that we need to work on, Gal said; it's boundaries with ourselves, too. 'It's not easy to change years of habits and actions, so we must first start with getting comfortable with saying no to ourselves before we do so with others,' she said. Try to identify your needs within the family: Do you care whether or not you're hosting the holidays or cooking a three-course dinner for someone's birthday? If you don't want to, practice identifying that within yourself first. 'Once that has been set, you are ready to suggest someone else's house for this year's gathering,' Gal said. 'You don't have to make huge leaps; simply start with something small and make your way towards the bigger boundaries.' If you've shouldered financial responsibilities in the past, recognize that it's OK to ask for help and be vulnerable yourself, Mander said. 'You don't have to do this alone,' she said. 'Depending on your situation and how old your siblings are, find a way to split and even out the financial responsibilities you carry with them.' Always make sure to put money aside into your own savings account(s) first or debt repayment before lending or spending money on others, she added. 'What I find is with my clients because they don't have financial clarity, they spend and give money away because they 'go with the flow' and don't know if they can truly afford to support others,' she said. 'Once we get them on a budget and system, they're able to make better decisions and stick up for themselves because now they can see the impact of helping someone else before themselves,' she said. It wasn't until her 40s that Wolfe started to look at her family dynamic with clear eyes and realize the support she received from her family pale in comparison to what she'd given them through the years. 'These days, I'm not interested in allowing people to burden me with non-reciprocal expectations, and frankly, despite how much I love them, I'm tired of being my family's concierge,' she said. Hoping to turn a new page, she started doing boundary work with her therapist. 'I won't lie: It's hard work,' she admitted. 'It's hard to break free from this dynamic because many of us are proud of what we do and have done for our families. We know this makes us valuable to them.' But as Wolfe has learned, that belief can derail your life path and make you forget who you are separate from your loved ones. 'I often feel that part of the reason I never had kids was because I knew it would shift my attention away from my family, and I was terrified to let them down,' she said. 'Today, though I still wrestle with that fear, I'm more terrified of letting myself down than them.' The 6 Most Common Things Oldest Siblings Bring Up In Therapy Are You 'Parentifying' Your Children? Here's What You Should Know. 30 Too-Real Tweets About Being The Eldest Daughter

Yahoo

13 hours ago

• Yahoo

Your Phone Should Always Be Face Down When It's on the Table: Here's Why

Picture this: You're having lunch with a friend at the neighborhood cafe. They're sitting in front of you, but it feels like they're not even there. Why? Because they're staring at their phone. Everyone has probably had a similar experience, whether they're the one getting phone snubbed or doing the snubbing themselves. I've been guilty of paying more attention to my screen than my companion, and I feel bad about it afterward. There's nothing wrong with replying to an urgent Slack message or pulling up a funny TikTok to share. But I know I probably spend too much time staring at screens, and a lot of that time is unhealthy doomscrolling. These days, when I'm not using my phone, I try to be more deliberate about keeping it out of sight and out of mind. If I do need to keep my phone at hand, I always have it face down. I have a few reasons for making sure my phone screen is turned away. The first one is practical: Because my screen is face down and won't turn on for each notification, I can save a little bit of battery charge. A single notification won't mean the difference between my phone lasting the whole day or dying in the afternoon, but notifications can add up, especially if I've enabled them across all of my apps. If I'm in a lot of group chats, my screen might end up turning on dozens of times throughout the day (and that's on the low side since many teenagers have hundreds of notifications a day). Keeping my phone face down is also a good rule of social etiquette: If I'm hanging out with someone, I keep my screen hidden from view as a subtle way of showing that I won't be distracted by it. I don't want incoming notifications to light up my screen every few seconds, especially if I'm in a bar or other dimly lit setting. I want to keep my eyes on the person I'm talking to. "Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of human connection. Neuroscience research indicates that when two people make direct eye contact, their brain activity begins to synchronize, supporting more effective communication and increasing empathy. This synchrony can be disrupted when attention shifts to a phone, even briefly," says Michelle Davis, clinical psychologist at Headspace. When I'm with the people I've chosen to spend time with, I want to be fully present with them. A sudden notification will tempt me to glance at, or worse, pick up my phone in the middle of a conversation. I also have a more personal reason for keeping my phone face down, and I suspect that other people have had this same thought: My phone takes up too much space in my life. I mean that quite literally. My phone is bigger than it needs to be. That's been especially true since I upgraded from my iPhone Mini to a "normal-sized" iPhone. Yes, I got a much needed boost in battery life, but I also got a screen with more pixels to lure me into the next news headline or autoplaying Instagram reel. A small smartphone isn't something that really exists anymore. My phone is bigger and better at grabbing my attention. It competes against my friends and family, books and movies, the entire world outside of its 6-inch screen. It often wins. But there's still one small thing I can do to minimize its presence: I can keep the screen turned away from me whenever possible. It can sometimes feel like there's no escaping from my phone. Whether that ever changes, or phones evolve into a new form factor, I can't say. I can't control everything about my phone, but I can control whether the screen stares at me when I'm not staring at it.

Buzz Feed

15 hours ago

• Buzz Feed

If Your Messy Home Makes You Uncomfortable, These 32 Products Are Screaming Your Name

A bleach-free, no-scrub weekly shower spray so soap scum and shower grime buildup goes bye bye without you ever having to wipe. Rinse it clean the next day, and you'll be amazed to see those hard water stains on your shower door are *poof* gone. A two-tier sliding shelf if there are cabinets in your home that everyone knows to absolutely never open for fear of triggering an avalanche of junk. These durable baskets are up to the task of corralling all the random bits and bobs you own, so every bit of storage space is usable. Some Command cord bundlers if your house is full of gadgets and gizmos aplenty and their cords are ugly and sprawled over every surface of your home. Tie them up neatly and stick 'em to your devices so you never have to go rooting around for a rubber band. And speaking of cables, an electrical outlet cover with a power strip to hide cluttered cords stat. It's also pretty great if you want to push your furniture right up against the wall but can't because your phone charger adapter is in the way. A jewelry cabinet cleverly disguised as a mirror cleverly disguised as a mirror for anyone who's basically given up on wearing jewelry because detangling the pile of necklaces in your jewelry box is not something you have the time or desire to handle. A beeswax wood polisher so you can revive your embarrassingly worn, dinged, and dented cabinets and table quick as a flash. Plus, this method is a heck of a lot cheaper than actually replacing the wood or furniture piece, and using this polish on a regular basis can actually help keep the wood hydrated so it lasts longer. A pack of stain-removing pads because owning a pet is messy but these pads are up to the task. Pee? Check! Poop? Check! Vomit? Check! (You can even use them to clean up your wine spills.) Just lay them over the spot, give 'em a stomp to activate their cleaning powders, and watch the stain disappear — no bulky carpet steamer necessary! An EasyWring microfiber spin mop if you're envious of the sparkly clean floors you see on #CleanTok. Its specially designed microfiber mop head (which is machine washable, btw!) is so effective at grabbing dirt and grime that you can skip the harsh chemicals and clean with just water! And ofc it has a built-in wringer and splash guard (no one wants dirty water splattered on their face!). A plant-based stainless steel cleaner and polish that'll help you conquer the very time-consuming task of wiping down all the appliances in your kitchen. Reviewers say it helps keep your surfaces smudge-free for longer, meaning less cleaning for you! A pack of shelf dividers to organize your clothes into neat and distinct piles. These dividers provide stability for soft clothes that tend to fall over into one big pile of mess. A pumice cleaning stone for powering through tough rust, lime, and calcium streaks that have retired many a toilet scrubbing brush. Give your tired arms a break and let this little guy rub away discoloration with ease. This nontoxic cleaner is tough on dirt but gentle on porcelain, so you can sit atop the glistening throne you deserve. A Scrubbing Bubbles toilet cleaning stamp so you can polish your toilet without ever having to pick up a dirty toilet brush. *shudders* The stamp releases the cleaning gel, which foams and cleans your toilet. A Baseboard Buddy because it makes cleaning easy when the dust and cobwebs are up high or down low thanks to its 4-foot extendable pole. Don't be too slow to add this to your cart! Your dirty baseboards, ceiling fans, grates, and molding are quaking. A pet hair remover if you're tired of getting fur all over your clothes. Roll it over your couch, bed, favorite blanket, you name it, and watch it lift the fur away. See, we can own nice things!! A large capacity rotating makeup organizer for neatly storing your makeup and skincare so you can reclaim the already limited counter space in your bathroom. A pack of dishwasher cleaning tablets to clean your machine as it runs. No need to sigh in frustration every time you open your dirty dishwasher to remove your "clean" dishes. A 15-piece set of airtight food containers for helping you achieve a pantry that looks a professional organized it. Sure, pasta is great and all but aren't you tired of buying boxes of spaghetti only to realize you had an unopened box shoved in the back of your cupboard? This will help you figure out what you do and don't have at a glance. A heavy-duty oven scrub so it's like the years of baked-on dinner explosions and drippings that coat the inside of your oven — poof! — never happened. It'll clean stains right before your eyes; no need to let it sit overnight! A Bissell Little Green machine because your living room looks like you're running a doggy daycare out of it. This portable upholstery and carpet cleaner cleans deeply, penetrating household fabrics and even car interiors to erase any sign of your pet's accidents. A blind cleaner brush if you don't have the time or energy to clean each blind individually. Work smarter not harder! A grout paint pen that'll cover up years of residue from dirty feet, uncleaned spills, and mysterious stains that bother you every time you look down at your floors. It works like a regular marker, so even people who failed art can use it. A fabric defuzzer to remove lint, pilling, loose strands, and fuzz that's magically accumulated on your couch. It has a handy lint catcher as well as three settings so you can choose how close of a shave you want. A Bissell carpet and floor sweeper for quick and quiet cleaning sessions. It cleans without electricity (just run it over pet hair, crumbs, dirt, etc.) so it's not loud or heavy due to cords and large vacuum bags. A TikTok-famous pink cleaning paste so you can restore your walls and dressers when your little ones go Baby Picasso on your furniture with a permanent marker. A silverware sorter because you cringe every time you open the drawer and see your forks, knives, and spoons spilling out of their tray. A copper and brass polish if your sinks, pots, pans, mugs, jewelry, doorknobs, and more aren't shining as much as they once did. Some washing machine cleaning tablets that'll clean and freshen the inside while dissolving residue because you keep your washing machine open when it's not in use yet it still smells moldy. What gives? And a cleaning gel to get rid of mold and buildup on your washing machine gasket (bet ya didn't even know you should be cleaning here). Let it sit for a few hours or overnight and then easily wipe it clean with a rag. A tea bag organizer for helping you finally — finally! — organize your tea bag collection. This won't just help you hide the clutter of half-full boxes, but it'll help you actually get rid of the clutter! A drill brush kit so your arm isn't out of commission for a whole day after aggressively scrubbing stains for 10 minutes. Just attach the scrubbing brush head, flip the switch on your drill, and watch the dirt go straight down the drain. A set of stainless-steel S-shaped hangers because you can basically only fit like three pairs of pants in your drawer before there's no room left. These will maximize hanging space so you can store all your pants neatly in the closet and use the valuable drawer space for other clothes. A flexible silicone kitchen sink organizer that'll neatly hold your sponge, dish soap, hand soap, and more. (I can't be the only one who gets annoyed when my roommate leaves a wet sponge just sitting on the counter!) And it wipes clean since it's made of silicone so you don't have to worry about yucky mold and mildew. You looking around your newly cleaned and organized abode: The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.