‘I feel I spent all that time in my life crying,' says MEP after ex jailed under Coco's Law
SPEAKS OUT |
The Sinn Féin MEP hopes that by going public with her story, it will inspire others to seek help and speak out
MEP Kathleen Funchion has spoken out about the years of coercive control she endured at the hands of her ex-partner, Sean Tyrell
Ms Funchion's ex-partner and former Kilkenny County Councillor, Sean Tyrell, was convicted on Monday under Section 4 of the Harassment, Harmful Communications and Related Offences Act 2020, also known as Coco's Law.
Tyrell was handed a four-month prison sentence, with a separate four-month jail term suspended for two years.
Ms Funchion first met Tyrell in 2016 when he helped out during her Dáil election campaign. Tyrell was co-opted onto Kilkenny County Council that year, taking up the seat that Ms Funchion vacated after becoming a TD.
The pair began a romantic relationship in 2016, before getting engaged in 2017.
Speaking on RTÉ's News at One , Ms Funchion said that coercive control happens 'subtly' over time, and for that reason, many people do not recognise when they are the victim of coercive control in their own lives.
"I think one of the reasons why I was anxious to speak about the situation is to maybe explain to people, and for other people in the situation, is that it is something that you don't see happening, in terms of it's very subtle," said Ms Funchion.
"When you're with someone who is a controlling person, that doesn't happen overnight, it's subtle and it happens over time and I suppose you really get to a stage where you feel there's something wrong with you, and it's not something where you wake up one morning and realise, this is not a great situation. It happens over time.
"I'm conscious that there are probably other people in situations like that and they are probably thinking, 'is there something wrong with me?'. So I just wanted to be able to stress that it can be very subtle and you can't see it creep up and you can nearly become agreeable to some of the ways that this person acts towards you like handing over your phone. When you're removed from the situation and you're speaking to other people, you realise that that is not normal behaviour.'
Kathleen Funchion. Photo: PA
During the course of their relationship, Ms Funchion said that Tyrell had insisted on having access to her phone and her messages and even wanted her to take a lie detector test as he continuously alleged that Ms Funchion was being unfaithful to him.
Ms Funchion said at one stage, she even considered doing the lie detector test to prove that she had nothing to hide.
"No matter what I said, he was adamant that I was being unfaithful in the relationship and I found that very difficult. He wanted me to take a lie detector test, which I would say at one point I was considering doing and I think that shows how it really gets into your head and you really do doubt yourself.
"I suppose the important thing here is that actually, somebody who is controlling like that, no matter what you do, it's never going to be good enough.'
The situation continued to escalate to a point where Tyrell started making allegations that Ms Funchion's close friends were being unfaithful in their marriages.
'I think it kind of came to a head in August of 2022 where I was really at breaking point,' said Ms Funchion. 'I was very, very upset. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating. I feel like I spent all that time in my life crying.'
Ms Funchion first contacted the Amber women's refuge in Kilkenny, before reaching out to Gardaí. She was then put in contact with the Protective Services unit of the Gardaí in Kilkenny, who she said were 'incredible'.
'They have been incredible, and unbelievable in the work that they do on a daily basis,' said Ms Funchion. 'I found that they were objective, but so professional and kind in their approach. They really made me feel that I wasn't going crazy.
"Abuse can be physical, it can be emotional,' added Ms Funchion. 'There's a range and I think that sometimes people think that they have to rock up with signs of physical abuse, but actually that's not the case.'
While Ms Funchion said she feels relieved and 'vindicated' following Tyrell's sentencing, the emotional scars from the years of coercive control and harassment will never fade.
"I definitely think, and I find it difficult to acknowledge this about myself, but it has changed my life and not in a positive way. I have very serious issues with trust as a result. I don't see that ever leaving me and I do find that I maybe question people more who do come into my life and I keep my circle very small.
"But I am really glad that I did see this through to the end and that there was justice. I do feel very strongly about that and I do feel that I was listened to.'
The Sinn Féin MEP added that by going public with her story, she hopes it will inspire others in a similar situation to seek help and speak out.
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