My brother disappeared without a trace when I was 9… cruel schoolkids joked about finding body & I'm racked with guilt

SOPHIE Bryant has grown up with the tragedy of her missing brother hanging over her.
She was just nine when Allan jr, 23, disappeared without a trace on a night out in 2013 - but she didn't quite understand then what was going on.
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The now 20-year-old recalls her mum and dad, Marie and Allan sr, regularly speaking to the police and press, and growing more frantic for answers that have never come.
Sophie, from Glenrothes, Fife, said a couple of years ago human remains were found and the family gloomily hoped they belonged to Allan jr.
'It feels bad saying we wish it was him, but if it was him maybe we'd have got a bit of closure,' she told The Sun.
'We think he's definitely… not alive,' she explained with a pause when asked if she still holds out hope.
'It's a good thought to think - that he's alive somewhere - but we know something bad has happened, or he would have been home by now.'
Allan jr was picked up on CCTV leaving the town's Styx nightclub at around 2am on November 3 2013.
The family has passed thousands of tip-offs over the years to Police Scotland, but ultimately without any luck.
There is no video evidence yet released to indicate where exactly the young man went or what became of him.
For Sophie, the night Allan jr disappeared started like any other Saturday booze-up for her brother.
Him and his pals were pre-drinking at the Bryant home and then headed out for what was the Halloween weekend.
They first went to an engagement party at Leslie Golf Club on the outskirts of town, and then to the nightclub.
'I can remember the weekend he didn't come back home,' said Sophie.
'I was just wondering where he went. I can't remember what the last thing was that I said to him.
'You never expect something like that to happen, so you don't necessarily recall that stuff.
'I just always think about what happened.'
She went on to say: 'My parents did shield me from it a bit, they kept me out of the public eye when they were originally appealing for information.'
Sophie can remember her mum and dad 'always' being on the phone to the police and would sometimes join them on searches as a child.
Getting closer to finding out what happened to Allan jr often dominates home life.
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'It's pretty much day to day, they're always talking about what they should do to keep him in the public eye,' Sophie said.
'They (her parents) try to live their lives as well, but I think sometimes we feel guilty about doing that.'
She said such a feeling is contradictory because of how happy-go-lucky her brother was.
'He wouldn't want us not to be happy,' she admitted.
A photo of Sophie aged just nine shows her holding up a missing person poster brandishing her brother's face.
To her, Allan jr was her older sibling who teased her and who she play fought with her, but who always looked out for her.
'My memories of him are just really when we were playfighting and carrying on,' she said. 'He was my brother.'
Family members have also told her that she shares mannerisms with Allan jr that no-one else does.
'I like that,' she said. A photo taken of the pair of them together on the family's porch is also something Sophie cherishes, but it's bittersweet.
'There's one that I quite like,' she said when asked if she had any photos of her and Alan jr. 'I was really quite young, so I don't remember it being taken, but it's a nice one.
I know who 'murdered' my son, 23, on night out a decade ago... cops say he's missing but they need to probe vital clue
By Ryan Merrifield
A DESPERATE dad says he knows who 'murdered' his son, after he went missing over 12 years ago.
Allan Bryant Jr disappeared while on a night out on November 3 2013, but he's never been found and no one ever brought to justice.
The then-23-year-old was spotted on CCTV leaving Styx nightclub in Glenrothes, Fife, in Scotland, around 2am - but what happened next remains a mystery.
Mr Bryant said he and his family have accepted his son is dead but he, Allan's mum Marie and sisters Amy and Sophie want closure.
He told The Sun he's passed thousands of tip-offs over the years to Police Scotland, but ultimately without any luck.
Mr Bryant said he 'begged' the force to release a clip of the CCTV video footage, which they finally did months after the disappearance.
The determined dad is adamant he knows who killed his boy and hopes it is just a matter of time before someone comes forward with information that could lead to a conviction.
He said: 'A lot of people have come forward and it all points in the same direction about what happened to Allan.'
In 2015, the family was passed information to police which suggested Allan had gone to a house party after leaving the club.
Two years later, cops searched a house in Glenrothes for 33 days as part of the investigation but nothing came of it.
Mr Bryant later voiced fears that his son had been in contact with a crime gang weeks before he vanished.
He told The Sun this week: 'We believe he went to a houseparty, something happened at a houseparty.'
He said on studying the CCTV from the nightclub, it's clear Allan heads in a different direction than if he were going home.
Mr Bryant believes those who may have witnessed what happened to his son remain too scared to speak to detectives.
'I believe that without a doubt. We just need that one bit of the jigsaw… everything stems from there,' he said.
Mr Bryant and his family moved out of the home they'd lived in with Allan in 2018, but still regularly use the same local shops and haunts.
He feels the mystery over his son's death has created a dark cloud over the town, with people avoiding him and even 'stare at Allan's mum' without speaking.
The dad claims one person - who he believes witnessed his son's death - has told people while drunk: 'I know what happened to Allan.'
Mr Bryant - who has been supported by charity Missing People - said he's met other families in the same position as him, admitting 'it takes its toll'.
'Some families just can't do it,' he continued. 'You're tired and you have bad nightmares. It's like you're digging up skeletons because it's going to be bones we find.
'It takes four to five months for a human body to decompose.
'These thoughts go through your head and it's hard to sleep. Some days are harder than others. It's just getting harder and more difficult.'
Mr Bryant said Allan would sometimes stay out for a couple of days at a time, but he always kept his parents informed about where he was.
His phone had been smashed a couple of weeks before his disappearance and he hadn't got round to getting a replacement when he went on what was a Saturday night out with pals over the Halloween weekend.
Mr Bryant said Allan had his number memorised so would often call off his friends' phones.
'It was weird, I always knew where he was, he'd always let me know - this time when we woke up on the Sunday morning I said 'I've got a feeling something's not right'.
'We just felt something was really wrong. We held out for a day and then we reported him missing on the Monday.
'I just knew in my gut something bad had happened.'
On the Saturday evening, Mr Bryant said Allan was 'in a really really happy mood'.
He had some of his friends over for pre-drinks before they headed out to an engagement party at Leslie Golf Club on the outskirts of town, and then to the nightclub.
'The last time I talked to him he was about to leave the house, he was with a few friends having a drink,' Mr Bryant recalled.
'I preferred them sitting in the house rather than on the streets. Sometimes I could sit with them and have a laugh.
'He came downstairs all happy. He asked me for some money to go to an engagement party. He was in a really really happy mood.'
Mr Bryant said he later spoke to a barman working at the golf club who said he had refused to sell Allan another alcoholic drink as he seemed too intoxicated.
He said Allan had instead politely asked for a pint of water.
Mr Bryant said his son's bedroom was left as it was for a while but eventually it was cleaned.
'It wasn't in the best state,' he joked, as Allan and his pals had left empty beer cans. 'It took a wee while.'
One of Allan's sisters took a piece of the wallpaper from the bedroom when the family eventually moved out, and they kept some of his things, including his beloved Celtic top.
Mr Bryant said he feels that police have been difficult ever since Allan vanished.
'They will only give me so much information because I don't think they trust me,' he said.
He claims sniffer dogs have never been used and the family even had to hire professionals themselves to scour an area for Allan's remains after a tip off.
Mr Bryant continued: 'I had to fight to get the CCTV released. Any other missing person case that would be released straight away.
'I was told it was data protection. I think it would be different if Allan was a woman. If he was a 23-year-old woman in a nightclub it would be released straight away.
'He was just a guy on a night out.'
Mr Bryant added: 'I don't know if we'll ever find the truth but you've always got to hope, hold onto that bit of hope.
'I just need to keep Allan's photo out there so people don't forget about him.'
A Police Scotland spokesperson said: 'Allan Bryant remains a missing person and officers continue to make enquiries to trace him.
"Any new information will be assessed and anyone who can assist should call Police Scotland on 101.'
'It is difficult to look back at it though.'
Sophie said just going into Allan jr's old bedroom after he went missing was hard for all of them.
'I think we left it for quite a while,' she said. 'We couldn't get rid of his stuff. We've still got it.' She said it was also hard moving house - the family have moved twice since 2013 - and she worried for a while if her brother were still out there he wouldn't know where to find them.
Outside of her home life, Sophie has had to shoulder a lot over the years, including the often unwanted attention she receives from people in the town.
At school she became known essentially as the girl whose brother disappeared.
'Even people I didn't know would come up to me, talking about it and asking if I'm his sister,' she said.
'There were always stupid rumours,' she continued. 'Just in high school you'd hear people say they've found him in a ditch - things that aren't true, but it's hard to hear.
'It really affected my anxiety when I heard that.'
While she preferred to try and ignore the attention, Sophie remembers confronting someone who was making light of her brother's disappearance.
'I did once,' she said. 'I can't remember what I said but they knew I wasn't happy and they never did it again.'
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Sophie went to college for a while but dropped out due to her anxiety. However, she plans to return eventually to study psychology.
One thing that has always allowed her some peace is riding horses at a local stables.
'That seems to calm me down,' she said. 'I've made a lot of friends there.
'I started when I was 13, I started quite late,' she added laughing slightly. 'Horse riding helps me focus on what I'm doing.'
Last week, Sophie posted on Facebook for the first time about Allan jr.
'I've been putting it off for a long time and as I'm older now it just makes sense to write a post,' she wrote.
The post goes on to say she 'couldn't fully comprehend' her brother's disappearance at the time, adding: 'The effect it has had on the full family is devastating, I can't even put into words how heartbroken we all are.
'It wasn't until I got a bit older I realised how serious this was.'
Sophie went on to write that she feels 'bad' for not having as many memories of Allan jr as her older sister Amy 'but all the memories I do have are all good ones'.
'I just pray that one day people will come forward and we can finally get the closure that we need,' she added.
The post finishes: 'Not knowing what has happened to Allan is the worst thing, it's unimaginable for any family to go through.
'It's a living hell not knowing what has happened to Allan.'
Asked about her post, she told The Sun: 'I'd been thinking about doing one for a while, I just didn't know how to start it.
'But a lot of people said they were proud of me for doing it.
'I just need one person to come forward who knows something.'
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