Novocaine: This ridiculously violent action caper is a painful watch
The ridiculously violent action-comedy Novocaine is a swerve in a guessable direction: we're moving away from played-out superhero brands towards bargain alternatives with nominally fresh concepts. To describe it as a budget Deadpool is not to pay Deadpool more respect than it deserves – heaven knows, that's not much. In fact, the only people fawning over it are the makers of Novocaine.
Our nerdy hero Nathan Caine (Jack Quaid, son of Dennis and Meg Ryan) was born with a condition known as CIPA, which is a real thing – full name 'congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis'. Translation? He can't feel anything. Chewing solid food is a real danger zone, because he might actually bite off his own tongue without realising. Embarrassingly, he also has to set himself a timer every three hours, or he might forget to urinate and wet himself in public.
The risk-averse Nathan – nicknamed 'Novocaine' by school bullies who would rip him to pieces – has not grasped the bad-ass potential of his plight until his boring life as a San Diego bank clerk is lifted by Sherry (Amber Midthunder), a new colleague who invites him on a lunch date. When their bank is subsequently held up, she is kidnapped, and Nathan leaps into action, distrusting the initiative of local cops to rescue her alive.
When you've seen Quaid take a pounding once in this film, you'll know how every set piece will play out: with grievous bodily harm Nathan barely flinches at, paired with the real, gruesome agony his assailants eventually suffer. He has the bright idea to grab a gun out of a deep fat fryer, instantly turning his right hand into crispy pepperoni; then he studs both fists intentionally with broken glass and puts out someone's eyes.
You'll wince, you'll recoil, your own eyes may water when a goon tries the failed torture method of ripping off Nathan's fingernails, but will you laugh? Hollowly, and only at first. Novocaine feels like a brainstorming session for itself, which is all very well, until you realise that the only part being fully exercised is the lizard brain.
In the plus column, the stunt choreography has a Home Alone flair, and both Quaid and Midthunder have quite a spirited way of sparking it all up. The problem is that a few sharp one-liners and the comic timing of the cast can't stop the film reeking of what it is: essentially a revenge-of-the-incel movie. Nathan is a virginal gamer in his basement, dreaming of being one of the go-getters instead of one of the bed-wetters.
It's not much of a twist that his superpower, by virtue of being with him all along, didn't need a spider bite. This is what passes for novelty? Novocaine may not be based on any pre-existing IP – no comic book or game, say. But that's not much to crow about, because few flights of the imagination have lately felt lower in altitude.
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