How does Dublin's new AI city guide compare to a real walking tour? We tried them both out
But if that odd and slightly concerning thought did cross your mind, then Dublin City Council has an answer.
Introducing Brendan, the Dublin-flavoured, snood-donning twenty-something made of pure pixels and infused with pride in his beloved fair city.
'It's grand to see ya. Brendan here, and I'm absolutely buzzing to take you on a journey through my hometown,' he says, carp-eyed, when you select Dublin in the CityMe smartphone app.
'From lively Temple Bar and the old city, to buzzing Stoneybatter and cool Portobello, we'll discover a wide range of historical, cultural and iconic spots.'
Besides calling Oscar Wilde 'the Goat himself' (greatest of all time), there isn't much of the promised Dublin wit on show.
Brendan is what your granny might refer to as a 'lovely young fella' (if she doesn't mind the bovine stare), but I'd rather someone a bit more engaging to guide me around the madhouse that is Dublin.
In fact, you might even go so far as to call him a bit of a dry shite.
The city that spawned business names such as 'Knobs and Knockers' and 'Angela's Rashers' deserves a far more engaging voice to bring it to life.
So, I decided to pit Brendan against the ultimate foe: a Dublin walking tour with the renowned Pat Liddy's tour company.
After brief introductions, myself and two American tourists, Deirdre Pleasure and Rebecca Nolan, set off with our guide Harry Pender, another twenty-something Dubliner, albeit a non-electronic one.
We started out at Barnardo Square on Dame Street, and immediately I was drawn in by Mr Pender's personality as he answered questions, and even managed to summarise Irish history in a lively 15-minute back and forth – not an easy task.
We then made our way down to Dublin Castle, where we learnt the origin of the word boycott, chatted about the lies embedded in Irish history (St Patrick was neither a saint or named Patrick) and joked about suncream.
We were having such a raucous time, one of the other tours asked us to move along.
On we went through Ship Street (which should apparently be called Sheep Street, but was mistranslated) to Christ Church Cathedral, where we heard of the robbery and return of patron saint Laurence O'Toole's heart.
Crossing Grattan Bridge, we gazed over at the Ha'penny, officially known as Liffey Bridge (who knew?), where Mr Pender pointed out the spot that the River Poddle, now a mere stream, enters the Liffey through a syphon at Wellington Quay.
It went on much like this for the rest of the tour through to the GPO and Trinity College, questions, banter and stories aplenty. An experience of more than three hours mentally shrunk down to what felt like an hour.
I want somebody I can ask questions of, and I want somebody to interact with
It was engaging, informative and great to get to know our charming tour guide, who also teaches drama to children and partakes in pro wrestling.
As the walk went on, it became increasingly difficult to see how any AI character, no matter how swooshy his hair, could live up to the interactivity and humanity of a real human tour guide, and my companions agreed.
'I want somebody I can ask questions of, and I want somebody to interact with,' Ms Pleasure said.
'If I'm like, I've got a few hours and I just, spur of the moment, roam around, then the AI would suffice, but it just gives me an overview.
'But to actually learn, and to be able to have my questions answered and all that kind of stuff, I would rather people,' she added.
As for Mr Pender, he was doubtful AI was currently capable of providing the same kind of tour experience as a human.
'I'm not opposed to innovation and stuff, and you know, going forward with different new ideas, but at the same time I would be very surprised if [AI] could do the same thing that a person can do,' he said.
'I'm interested in the idea of it, and you know, no one ever thought Deep Blue, for example, was ever going to beat Garry Kasparov with AI chess bots or something, but now we know AI is very, very strong, so in that sense it's good.
'In another sense, I think people want something that is an experience. It's always about making an experience for someone, and if the AI can do that, great.
'But I think there's a lot more to tour guiding than just giving people the facts of what you're talking about, because it's how you put the facts together and how you tell the story'.
So much for Dublin slang. He keeps calling things awesome. Why not deadly?
Heading around Dublin with Bland Brendan as company, it's hard not to agree.
The AI guide definitely leans more on the artificial side of things than the intelligence.
For instance, he correctly says that the old name for O'Connell Street is Drogheda Street but then pronounces it 'Dro-geeda'.
And so much for Dublin slang. He keeps calling things awesome. Why not deadly?
The more you scratch, the more paper-thin Brendan's persona appears. He will simply repeat the same information verbatim each time you click on an individual city landmark.
One of the defining traits of AI is that it comes up with slightly different phrasings and sentences each time you speak to it – that's what makes it appear intelligent.
Otherwise, it's a glorified Fisher-Price telephone that says a phrase when you press a button.
So, is this simply a toy, crafted by tech bros that want to inject AI into your toaster?
In fairness, it's not. Brendan definitely does a convincing Dublin accent and sounds like a local for much of his dialogue, which I'm not sure has been done before using AI.
Also, the app is free of charge, so maybe I'm being too harsh. It offers a unique experience, like getting your dinner from a vending machine would. But vending machines have their place – sometimes all you want is a Kinder Bueno or a Fulfil bar.
I can imagine a scenario where Brendan is all you need to get a quick overview of the city, if you're tight on time or just curious about one specific spot (and you haven't heard of Google).
If you can get past the stilted Dublin dialogue and misaligned teeth, there's a reasonably interesting proposition here.
For no money at all, you can see Dublin in a way quite unlike any other, so try it out and see what you think.
After all, sometimes even adults enjoy Fisher-Price toys.
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