PARTLY FACETIOUS: Why doesn't First Uncle get a new Chairman of PCB?
'You know there is so much the West can learn from us!'
'Well, the food here is…'
'They have Pakistani and Indian food outlets in their country so no issues there. That is not what I was referring to.'
'Given your obsession with politics, I assume it has something to do with it.'
'Yes.'
'I thought a learning process was underway. Trump began the concept of the First Daughter from us….'
'Yes, but the former US First Daughter abandoned politics while the Pakistan First Daughter went up a notch – from First Daughter to Chief Minister.'
'Right, but I heard the Brown Pope is trying to muzzle his way in….'
'Can I make a suggestion: why doesn't First Uncle get a new Chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board, and that would put the Brown Pope in his place.'
'Shut up. That would compel someone to change the page when….'
'Gotcha, anyway, when I said the West has to learn from us, I was referring to election management.'
'I wasn't aware that was a subject these days.'
'Yes it is – we had the head of the French spy agency telling Durov, the CEO of Telegram, not to post anything in favour of the right wing anti-Europe candidate…'
'That was denied promptly.'
'Ah, and since intelligence agencies all around the world tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…'
'Oh shush, I propose that Nazir Tarar passes legislation that would make it a criminal offence to say anything nasty about Nawaz Sharif.'
'Well, a law cannot be person specific. I would advise him to make it a criminal offence to slap a politician in public. Did you hear of a French court sentencing Damien Tarel for slapping the French President to a prison term of 18 months, 14 of which were suspended.'
'Nah, perhaps letting loose a Gullu Butt would be…'
'Right anyway my suggestion to the West to effectively manage elections: introduce some forms, forms are good, forms are…'
'Shut up, by the way MrSadiq, and I would urge him to amend his name to add Amin as a middle name, said he heard a vote of no confidence is going to be tabled against him and said let it come.'
'I have it on good authority that MrSadiq filed an application in triplicate to do just that, but that would have required turning the page and…'
'Shhhh.'
Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
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