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Forbes
12 minutes ago
- Forbes
5 Ways To Increase Happiness With Small Talk
Small talk contributes to happiness and wellbeing You may dislike small talk, or you may wonder how to make small talk less awkward when you're in mix-and-mingle situations. But small talk is bigger than you might think. Surprising new data suggests that having brief exchanges or superficial conversations can contribute to your happiness and wellbeing. Loneliness is at epidemic levels today, with 50% of people reporting they are lonely. In addition, large proportions of people say they don't have enough friends or don't have friends at all. Importantly, loneliness and a lack of friends are both associated with negative outcomes emotionally, cognitively and physically. With this reality, small talk is a great strategy to feel more connected with those around you. How to Make Small Talk So how to make small talk? And how can you build both your skills and your comfort with small talk? One way to make small talk effectively is to be ready when the opportunity presents itself. People report that small talk is most likely to occur at social events (69% expect small talk here), waiting in line (64%), at work (63%), shopping (49%), at restaurants (39%), at coffee shops (31%), at salons or spas (28%), in elevators (25%), during air travel (24%), during rideshare or taxi drives (23%), at gyms or fitness venues (17%) or on trains or buses (12%). This is according to a survey by Preply. Watch for opportunities no matter where you are, and lean in when you see moments to engage with others. Another surefire way to get better at small talk is to have a range of topics you can bring up. According to the Preply data, the most common topics were the weather (62% of people), work (38%), family (29%), social situations (28%), sports (23%), living situations (20%) and traffic (14%). But you'll also want to exercise caution, because while these are the most popular topics for small talk, the issues that people most want to avoid talking about are sports, current events and family. Another primary way to make small talk effectively is to use nonverbals. Lean forward, make eye contact and smile as you're making brief conversation. These are effective ways to demonstrate engagement, according to a study in Social Psychological and Personality Science. Another way to get better at small talk is to start with it. From there, be ready to shift to more substantive discussion when you can. In a substantive conversation, there is more meaningful information exchanged, and this allows you to learn more about someone and build a relationship. A deeper conversation can be about any topic, the key is that you're exchanging more than just trivial information. For example, if you're chatting with a colleague after a meeting, you may start with the weather, and then get into a more consequential topic such as how their project is going or how they are working through a stressful project. Research in in Psychological Science found that while small talk is better than not talking, substantive conversations are better than small talk for happiness. So, if it's appropriate to move the conversation to deeper levels, there will be payoffs for doing so. You can consider a number of questions to deepen a friendship and to get people talking about something that's more substantive and create strong bonds. These include questions about the future, accomplishments, regrets, relationships, memories or humorous situations. Another way to get better at small talk is to engage in it more often. In fact, 39% of people engage in small talk on a daily basis, according to Preply data. You can also be confident that if you reach out to others, they are likely to welcome your conversation starters. We tend to think others don't want to make small talk, but this is a myth. Instead, research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that most people welcomed interaction and felt positively about having engaged with strangers. Proof that Small Talk Has Big Benefits There is proof that small talk is a good thing. For research purposes, it's defined as polite conversation focused on trivial, unimportant topics and non-controversial topics. It's talk that that doesn't deepen a relationship, and in which you walk away from the exchange without really knowing any more about a person. One study asked people to have casual exchanges with a barista when they were buying coffee. In these cases, people reported greater levels of happiness and wellbeing, even based on the brief conversations they had. This was published in Social Psychological and Personality Science. In another study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, people were asked to interact with strangers on the subway. This too resulted in greater levels of happiness and wellbeing. Make small talk effectively by looking for opportunities and being intentional about it. The more you engage, the easier it will be and the more it will contribute to your happiness and wellbeing
Associated Press
an hour ago
- Associated Press
B-2 bombers involved in US strike on Iran nuclear facilities return to Missouri Air Force base
KNOB NOSTER, Mo. (AP) — The B-2 stealth bombers that dropped massive bunker-buster bombs on Iranian nuclear facilities began returning to their U.S. base in Missouri on Sunday. An Associated Press journalist watched on a clear but windy afternoon as seven of the B-2 Spirit bombers came in for landing at Whiteman Air Force Base. The base, about 73 miles (117 kilometers) southeast of Kansas City, is home to the 509th Bomb Wing, the only U.S. military unit that operates the B-2 Spirit bombers. The first group of four of the stealth aircraft did a loop around the base before approaching a runway from the north, while a final group of three arrived within 10 minutes. The day before, the B-2s had been part of a wide-ranging plan involving deception and decoys to deliver what American military leaders believe is a knockout blow to a nuclear program that Israel views as an existential threat and has been pummeling for more than a week. According to U.S. officials, one group of the stealth aircraft headed west from the base in the U.S. heartland on Saturday, intended as a decoy to throw off the Iranians. Another flight of seven quietly flew off eastward, ultimately engaging in the Iran mission. Aided by an armada of refueling tankers and fighter jets — some of which launched their own weapons — U.S. pilots dropped 14 30,000-pound bombs early Sunday local time on two key underground uranium enrichment plants in Iran. American sailors bolstered the surprise mission by firing dozens of cruise missiles from a submarine toward at least one other site. U.S. officials said Iran neither detected the inbound fusillade, nor mustered a shot at the stealthy American jets. Dubbed Operation Midnight Hammer, the mission carried out a 'precision strike' that 'devastated the Iranian nuclear program,' U.S. officials said, even as they acknowledged an assessment was ongoing. For its part, Iran denied that any significant damage had been done, and the Islamic Republic pledged to retaliate.
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
My kid didn't get invited to a party. It triggered my own childhood memories and we learned to deal with disappointment together.
My child wasn't invited to a classmate's birthday party. My heart ached for her. I know how she feels, as this experience brought up my own childhood memories. Instead of trying to fix the issue, my daughter and I learned how to work through disappointment together. It started with a whisper. "Everyone else got one," my daughter said to me, her eyes locked on the floor. "I was the only one who didn't." The birthday party was shaping up to be one to remember. The one everyone was buzzing about during recess, in the lunch line, on the walk home. The one that she heard would have an inflatable obstacle course, unlimited cupcakes, and glitter tattoos. The one she didn't get an invitation to. There's a particular kind of heartbreak that happens when your child feels excluded. It sneaks up on you — not like a sharp jab, but a slow implosion. You don't just witness their disappointment; you absorb it. I watched her try to act like she didn't care, her voice a little too steady, her face a little too still. I knew that look. I've worn that look. At first, I tried to do the responsible parent thing. "I'm sure it wasn't personal," I offered. "Sometimes kids are only allowed to invite a few people." But the words felt flimsy, like duct tape over a cracked dam. What I didn't say was that her hurt was waking something up in me — something old. I remembered the birthday party I missed in third grade because no one told me about it. The group photo I saw later, full of faces I thought were my friends, still sticks in my mind. The sick swirl in my stomach, is the same one I felt now as I watched my daughter blink back tears with her own experience of being left out. This experience could have easily been about how to handle exclusion as a parent — how to build resilience, encourage empathy, or plan a better party of your own. But what I've learned is less clean than that. I learned that part of parenting is being powerless. You can't smooth every rough edge or rewrite every social dynamic. Sometimes, your job is just to sit beside your kid in the muck of it. To let them cry, to let yourself feel angry, and to know that fixing it isn't always the assignment. I also learned how quickly my own insecurities rush in through the back door. Was it something we did? Something she said? Something I said? I caught myself scanning through Instagram posts, wondering which mom made the guest list, who drew the invisible circle we now stood outside of. That impulse, to decode the rejection, to find logic in something inherently unfair, was as much about me as it was about her. What surprised me most was what happened the next day. She packed a little note in her backpack for the birthday kid. "Happy birthday," it read. "Hope you have fun." No bitterness. No spite. Just kindness. My daughter, in all her smallness, did what I hadn't even figured out how to do yet: move forward without letting the hurt define her. And maybe that's the only real takeaway I have. That sometimes, our kids teach us the grace we're still trying to learn. That their pain, while gutting, can also be a portal for connection, for healing, for re-parenting ourselves through them. She never got that invitation. But what we gained, quietly and without fanfare, was something else: the chance to walk through disappointment together, hand in hand. And that, to me, feels like something worth celebrating. Read the original article on Business Insider
