Horny Girl Summer - Why It's The Sexiest Time To Be Single

Single ladies, there's a new member of the coven. Cool, funny, and complete with a famous fringe, Dakota Johnson has reportedly recently broken up with her longtime partner Chris Martin. And according to an interview on the podcast Good Hang with Amy Poehler, she might be gearing up for a hot girl summer. When asked by the Saturday Night Live alum how she psychs herself up to do sex scenes, Johnson replied, 'Amy, I don't have to. I'm, like, always psyched up for sex.'
The famously acerbic actress might've only been teasing, and who knows what's really going on with her and Martin. But regardless, her words speak to a universal truth, one so ubiquitous and well understood that for several years it has spawned countless songs, memes, and TikToks – there are more than half a million posts under the hashtag #hotgirlsummer on the platform. Why? Because deep down, all of us know that if there's one time of year to be psyched up for sex and newly single, it's summer.
Officially the warmest, funnest, and most debaucherous season, summer brings with it a sense of silliness, excitement, and unabashed horniness. People are going out more and wearing less. They're happier, healthier, and high on vitamin D. There's a lingering sense of opportunity and anticipation permeating pub gardens, setting the scene for a romcom-worthy vibe that, however delusional, has you thinking your next great relationship is just one half pint away. It's thrilling, as if suddenly everything has erotic potential.
Even sitting on a crowded train, sweat knocking between people's knees, can feel strangely seductive, particularly if you catch eyes with someone on the other side of the carriage. A smile here, a shy giggle there. You never know what could happen! All of which is to say that there really is no better time to be fresh out the gate of a relationship than right now.
Ideally, the breakup happened sometime around April. This gives you a few months to pull yourself together, and go through at least one round of the usual post-split psychological cycle: cry, block, delete, cry again, unblock, send angry and regrettable DM, block again, cry, throw phone at wall, self-reflection, haircut, last minute trip abroad, small cry, find peace. Generally, this is repeated until you're left with the peace part.
By the time June rolls around, the idea is that you've processed things enough to feel ready to start putting yourself out there again. Even if you're still emotionally grieving, at the very least, you'll probably want to try having sex with someone new. After all, it's summer! I'll admit that I'm speaking with a bit of experience here, having broken up with my last boyfriend in April 2022. I wouldn't advise doing what I did to cope, which involved running away to northern California, getting a highly questionable fringe, and pursuing romantic relationships with just about any single straight man who knew my name. Don't do any of that.
But what you should do is enjoy your newfound freedom by saying yes to just about every opportunity that comes your way, surrounding yourself with friends, family, and ideally also going to as many festivals as you and your circadian rhythm can handle. I did as much of this as I could, making the most of every BBQ and birthday garden party. It's not that I was actually looking for someone new, although that's how it felt at the time. It was more that I felt like I could throw myself into a set of fun, footloose, and fancy-free outdoor plans that nourished my sense of self in a way I hadn't realised I'd been neglecting while in my relationship. I forged new friendships, tended old ones, and felt more like myself than I had in years.
Don't get me wrong, breakups are rough. And there are obviously always going to be inevitable low moments that even the sunniest climes won't appease. Think panic attacks in my tent at Glastonbury Festival at 7am and neverending lists of messages I never sent to my ex filling up my Notes app. Obviously, the pain, shame, and sense of loss doesn't go away when it's a hot day. But it does feel a lot easier to work through when you're only ever a few phone calls away from lying on the grass in a park with a few pals, surrounded by the sounds of other people's picnics, and feeling the sun on your face.
If there's an option between that and breaking up with someone on the precipice of the festive season, when it's so much easier to slip into goblin mode and hibernate from the cold by staying underneath your duvet for weeks on end, well, I know which one I'd rather choose. The trouble is breakups don't work that way; we can't just book them like dentist appointments. That said, if, like Johnson, the timing happens to be in your favour and you find yourself reading this a newly single woman, well, consider yourself fortunate and don't be afraid to dive right in. The water's lovely – trust me.
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We became really great friends. I eventually took a job at the company my friend worked for, and I learned from the ground up. It was a natural fit. I'm at a different company now and I work with mostly high income 'VIP' men. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I absolutely love my job. It comes naturally, it's challenging and so rewarding. I still have the same hardcore work ethic and want to work at the best company and break ceilings. And I still do that but in the love Celine Song famously went from matchmaking to Hollywood for the new film Materialists, the current rom-com starring Dakota Johnson, Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans based on her past life as a matchmaker. Philly-based Lauren Daddis is the perfect person to respond to Materialists. A former music industry publicist at Interscope Records, among others, who worked with the likes of Eminem, Gwen Stefani and Black Eyed Peas, Daddis has been a matchmaker for the last eight years. So, it was a lot of fun to get her insights on the accuracy of the film, its dialogue and how it compares to the current state of real-life matchmaking. Spoiler, she says it is pretty damn spot on. Warning, she also does give some spoilers on the film. You are warned before reading on. Steve Baltin: How accurate was the movie? Lauren Daddis: It was really good. I was laughing my ass off cause I'm a matchmaker. I was laughing about how right on some of the stuff was. She did a really good job of depicting a day in the life of a matchmaker and what kind of stuff comes up. So, for me that was very entertaining. It was very reminiscent of a '90s rom-com because it was more like relationship drama and less comedy. It was a very good balance between hearts and, obviously, the name of the movie is Materialists. She did a very good job of reflecting on real life. Her character was very kind of crass and transactional and it's different than like I feel like some of the women that are in rom-com's. They usually play the role of the sappy, lovesick [woman] looking for her prince. It was interesting. It was also very predictable. You definitely within the first five minutes knew who she would pick. The whole story she's a matchmaker, and she's caught between the 'perfect match,' like the unicorn, the rich guy with the 12-million-dollar Manhattan apartment. He's over six feet and checks all the boxes, so to speak. Then there's the ex-boyfriend, who is a broke actor, cater waiter, but she loves him. So, you know in the end who she's going to pick. Baltin: Where are you based? Daddis: As a matchmaker, I'm an outside of Philly. Working with clients in New York, it was really interesting to watch a matchmaker based in New York. I often say that New York is one of the hardest markets to match because there are so many people. They talk in the movie about referring to people as product, merchandise. There are so many people, there's always someone better, there's always someone else, so, it was interesting to watch it happen in New York. I think it was a great city to pick being a matchmaker. And she faces that: does she want the luxury life without true love with the unicorn guy? Or does she want a tough life where she's fighting over money, but they're madly in love? I think the whole movie just goes back and forth, but you never wonder who she's going to pick because at the end, that's what we all want, right? The true love. I know a lot of people actually pick the other. But I don't really think that they end up happy. I think trying to find love in a material world is very tricky. Baltin: You said you thought it was accurate. How was the matchmaking dialogue? Daddis: I loved the scenes where they did a lot of cut in and cut out of her with clients, client facing meetings where they're just sitting in front of her going, 'I want this and this and this because I deserve it.' Some of this stuff was just verbatim. "I won't date anyone over six feet.' "They have to make at least 500,000.' "They have to do this and this and this." To me, I was just laughing. It was very normal and everyday for me. It was funny, my boyfriend was with me. And to him, that was very normal cause I work from home. He hears these conversations all the time. It didn't shake us. But I kept wondering what the people behind me and around me in the theater thought. I wondered if they thought this was fake because it is so real. People do say I want this and I want all of these boxes checked and then as a matchmaker when you deliver someone sometimes it turns out awful. Sometimes it turns out great, you can deliver a product but it's all up to the person how it happens. One of the references they use that was really funny and I use all the time she was like giving ingredients. And Lucy the matchmaker cocks her head and she's like, 'I can't build your boyfriend for you, I'm not Frankenstein.' I lost it because I always say this isn't Build a Bear. We're not building a boyfriend We can't take ingredients, we're dealing with humans and people, and they come as they are.' So, I thought that was funny because she had that talk with one of her clients. They have the matchmaker part. I listened to a couple of interviews with the writer, and she was a matchmaker a long time ago. I was interested to see how much it's changed. It hasn't, everything was spot on. People have not changed what they're looking for, what they expect, what we value, how we perceive our own value. It's all the same. Baltin: Why do you think that is because obviously society has changed so much? Daddis: I think fundamentally all we really want is to find that true love. And some of the ways people go about trying to find it are people going to great lengths. One of the plots twists of the movie was Harry, which is Pedro Pascal's character, the unicorn, the rich guy. Well, it turns out we find out at the end of the movie-- it's a spoiler alert-- but there's the surgery that can add up to six inches to your height and at the end of the movie it comes out she sees the scars on his legs. He seems to be this perfect guy but it shows even the perfect people the lengths that they go to to make themselves a good catch. He had leg surgery and he used to be five six and so it really changes perception. At the end of the movie, you're like, "Wow, like we're watching women fawn over this guy, and he's perfect, and he's the unicorn of the movie, and all this, come to find out if he was five six, none of this would be available to him." He said, "I wouldn't have done better, and I wouldn't have done as well in business. Men respect me, women fawn over me." So, it was showing that even on the outside, the people who look like they have it all, and they're these unicorns, that he still went through this. He broke both of his legs and paid 200 grand for six inches. And he said it was the best decision he's ever made. I do think that's a good point that you made. I don't think it has changed. I think people want just to feel loved, but I feel like what I see as a matchmaker is I very much understood when Lucy talked a lot about it being very easy. It's math, it's just math. She spoke very clinically about partnering as if it were like an equation. And that was her response, it's just math. They come from a similar socioeconomic background. They both went to Ivy League schools. They refer to checking boxes, that's a lingo that we used a lot and the reality is yeah you can put two people together, their resumes, so to speak, and they check each other's boxes. He wants what she has and everything's perfect but when they meet each other it's all up to their chemistry, the energy they bring into the room, the kind of day they had, if they had a bad day, they're not going to bring their best self in, their nerves, what if one person has some kind of anxiety and they're not doing the best. There are so many things that can be off or what if just the woman walks in and just is not attracted to the guy or the man is rude to the waiter. There are so many things that can happen outside of the boxes and the personality traits and all those things that people are looking for, that I think people lose sight of what really matters. And one of the things they said in the movie was, it was like her pitch, she was at a wedding and like passing her card out and schmoozing. It was really funny. And she said, you're really finding at the end of the day, a nursing home roomie. Who are you going to be in the nursing home with? Who's going to do the long haul on the hard things. And that stuff you can't vet for. As a matchmaker, I can't find someone. If someone hires me and says find someone that's going to have a great relation with me and love me so much that they'll change my bedpan. I can't guarantee that I'm going to find that for you. I can try though. Baltin: How did you go into matchmaking? Daddis: I got married, had a baby and moved to the east coast. I had a few years of being a stay-at-home mom and eventually the plan was to get back to LA. I stayed on with a couple of smaller bands and toyed with the idea of working in NY. I never really meant to leave the music industry, and I was kind of miserable about it. I became a yoga teacher, got divorced and settled into the east coast for the foreseeable future. I met a matchmaker through a girlfriend of mine and she saw potential immediately in me. I was fascinated that this was even a job… a matchmaker? This was about eight years ago or so. We became really great friends. I eventually took a job at the company my friend worked for, and I learned from the ground up. It was a natural fit. I'm at a different company now and I work with mostly high income 'VIP' men. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I absolutely love my job. It comes naturally, it's challenging and so rewarding. I still have the same hardcore work ethic and want to work at the best company and break ceilings. And I still do that but in the love industry.