Alan Cumming was always trying to 'prove something' to himself after enduring a rocky relationship with his father
Alan Cumming was always trying to "prove something" to himself after enduring a rocky relationship with his father.
The 60-year-old actor alleged that his father was a "bully" to him throughout his childhood and is still "working through" the issues that come with that but insisted that his "drive" to succeed came from that "scary" part of his youth.
Speaking on the 'Turning Points' podcast, he told 'Shout' hitmaker Lulu: "When you're scared of things in your childhood … and you know, one of your parents is your bully, that casts such a long shadow in your life and I'm still working through that, still. But the other thing is that, you know, my 'workiness' and my drive in that way, I don't want to attribute that to my dad not loving me. I sort feel like, I guess I'm trying to prove something, but I'm actually proving something for myself.
The 'Traitors USA' host claimed that his father called him "worthless" and enjoyed "hurting" him but eventually that sort of behavior gave him the kind of courage he needed to rebel and focus on his career.
He said: "When someone sort of tells you you're worthless and takes pleasure in hurting you who's supposed love you and supposed to sort of look after you, it definitely makes you very self-aware and makes you have to make up your own… be vigilant about yourself and make decisions about everything, including yourself. But it also makes you think 'f***you - I'm gonna do what I want to do, I'm going to live my life."
The 'Spice World' star opened up further about the abuse he faced at the hands of his father in his 'Not My Father's Son' and reflected that while he did it solely for himself, it came as a "great surprise" that the project helped others as well.
He said: "When I wrote the book about my dad, which came about because of a series of circumstances that he suddenly came back into my life, telling that final part of my story that I hadn't really ever talked about very publicly was unexpectedly so brilliant... because so many other people who had gone through similar things or had a variety of different things in their lives said to me 'because you've spoken out about what was your demon, now I feel empowered to talk about mine'. And so you realise that you help so many people by being authentic and honest. And you just, you sort of think you're doing it for you, and you have to do it for you, but actually, it was such a great surprise to me.
Listen to all episodes of 'Turning Points' featuring Boy George, Brian Cox, Kristin Scott Thomas, Anastacia, and John Legend on Spotify.
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